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In Progress Lets Play Alter Ego: a game based on what I suck at most.

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by schluberlubs, Apr 11, 2012.

  1. schluberlubs Educated

    schluberlubs
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
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    Location:
    Shaggy's PlayWorld
    [​IMG]

    Lets Play Alter Ego: a game based on what I suck at most.

    Ch. 0: Intro to the LP
    Ch. 1: Ego is an appropriate name
    Ch. 2: Grinding and leveling up
    Ch. 3: Gettin' Diplomatic
    Ch. 4: Trivia Bullshit
    Ch. 5: Emotional Engagement
    Ch. 6: Not so sweet child of mine
    Ch. 7: That other game of Risk
    Ch. 8: The glorious Kwan education system

    Ch. 0: Intro to the LP

    I've been engaging in far too much pony faggotry as of late. I considered it prudent to do something *Monocle* before my mind becomes consumed and I start playing Skyrm & Mass Effect 3 or whatever activities degenerate filth take part in these days.

    I'm putting my my Die Hard LP on hold for the time being. Why, I hear you Inquire? Because fuck doing a written LP of an action game.

    The delightful game we shall be tucking in to today is Alter Ego. 'Twas Developed and published by Activision Publishing in the year 1986. In it, you control a person from cradle to grave. You want choice & consequence? Well this games got more C&C than you can handle! The game presents situation after situation which you must decide how to deal with. There is also some RPG elements with stats & the odd stat check. To be quite frank, I'm slightly appalled this hasn't seen a Codex LP yet.

    Before we begin though there a couple of things I wish to hold a vote on:

    Firstly, their are 2 versions of this game. One you play as a male and the other a female. I ain't 110% on what the differences are.

    1) Should we play:

    A) The male version

    B) The female version

    Next, because this is a game all about choices:

    2) How should I approach this?

    A) Go for making this characters life a total train wreck! Step on each landmine that comes our way.

    B) Play as a Codexian. Be angry and maintain high standards.

    C) Play properly. Make serious decisions and have this character be the best they can be.

    D) Hold votes through out. A little troublesome & unfavorable as situations tend to have multiple, branching phases. That and theirs a good few hundred of them so I'd have to have multiple situations going on at once to get this done in a timely fashion.

    I shall allow a day to elapse before votes are closed.
     
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  2. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    In b4 machete rape gangs
     
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  3. felipepepe Prestigious Gentleman Codex's Heretic Patron

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  4. Hellraiser Arcane

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    BA
     
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  5. Tigranes Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

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  6. SerratedBiz Arcane

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  8. Stygian Lurker Liturgist

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  9. lightbane Arcane

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    AB, of course, because this game has actual instant-death situations if you choose poorly and that would make a very short LP.
     
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  10. schluberlubs Educated

    schluberlubs
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    IIRC, you could press escape to get out of a situation no matter tits-up things have gotten. So I don't think it'd hurt to take a sneak-peak at the fatalities.
     
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  11. Crooked Bee (no longer) a wide-wandering bee Patron

    Crooked Bee
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    Codex 2013 Codex 2014 PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire MCA Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 BattleTech Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    BC

    :rpgcodex:
     
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  12. Phelot Arcane

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    Make sure you trust the stranger in the car as a kid.
     
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  13. Andyman Messiah Mr. Ed-ucated

    Andyman Messiah
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    edit: as for this thread, whatever. This is one of them sims where you can't do anything right.

    Can't somebody here just have a kid and make an LP out of it?

    Update 7253: another day another diaper

    It's voting time again, Codex!

    A, change the diaper.
    B, cover up the smell with wonderbaums.
    C, ask a woman to do it.
     
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  14. SCO Arcane In My Safe Space

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  15. schluberlubs Educated

    schluberlubs
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    Location:
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    Mostly votes for 1B & 2)B, So a semi-lulzy run as a women.

    I took a 16 mile bike ride, drank a can of Black Hole Sun energy drink and ate a pack of Jammy-Dodgers this morning. My body is ready!

    My gratitude for high-lighting this to me. This'll save me having to type out text from the game as I can just copy-pasta it. Plus, the ability to see stats after death is something I can get behind.
     
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  16. schluberlubs Educated

    schluberlubs
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    Location:
    Shaggy's PlayWorld
    Ch. 1: Ego is an appropriate name

    "Welcome to Alter Ego!​

    Have you ever wondered what your life could have been like if things had gone a little bit differently?​

    Well, in this game, you can find out."​

    'k

    Start new game >>

    "The game begins not long before your first birthday."​

    [​IMG]

    Next >>

    "Will you be male or female?"​

    A broad.

    Next>>

    "You are in a warm, dark, comfortable place. This has been your place since you became aware that you are alive. It's almost time to enter a different world now.​

    Select an action :​

    -COME OUT FIGHTING​
    -COME OUT PEACEFULLY​
    -STAY IN A LITTLE LONGER"​

    -COME OUT FIGHTING

    We shall not stand for this decline!

    "You may be a fighter, but your mom wants you out with more energy than you have to stay in. You will find that anything of value in life is worth fighting for. This fight will end in a draw--you will be evicted, but your mom will be pooped.​

    Soon you will meet her and snuggle up nice and close. All is forgiven--for now. Get ready to be born in a flurry of waving arms, screams, and a slap on the bottom.​

    Happy Birthday, and welcome to the world. From now on, life will begin to change rapidly. You will have to learn to accept responsibility, build up your resources, and manage yourself physically and emotionally.​

    The events that transpire over the course of the next few days include:​

    You are the most beautiful baby in the maternity ward, and everyone takes your picture.​
    The doctors note that your breathing is a bit irregular and suggest special monitoring equipment to avoid serious problems.​
    Your grandmother buys you ballet slippers and a violin for you to use in "a year or so," when you get older."​

    A slap on the bottom? Not sure if want.

    The 3 lines on the bottom vary from game to game, probably give some stat changes. Good grief, Grandma's idea on how fast babies grow up is a little distorted.

    Next>>

    "Before we get properly started, let's begin with a few questions to establish your personality."​

    'k

    "1) I will probably try to answer these questions honestly. "​

    TRUE

    Yeah, I guess.

    "2) The people who know me best like me as a person. "​

    FALSE

    Probably not.

    "3) When I am ill I become short-tempered and snap at people. "​

    TRUE

    Goes with out saying

    "4) I am likely to speak whatever comes to mind. "​

    TRUE

    Definitely

    "5) An important part of every job is knowing whom to impress. "​

    FALSE

    I consider it more important knowing who to insult.

    "6) I think that questions like this are stupid and meaningless. "​

    FALSE

    Stupid, maybe. But it probably has some effect on stats, which is relevant to my interests.

    Test over.

    Next>>

    "In that case, please enjoy a few more questions!"​

    Appears I'm mistaken.

    "7) I am a light sleeper who stirs at even the slightest sound. "​

    FALSE

    I sleep like a(n animated) corpse.

    "8) Revenge is sweet. "​

    TRUE

    'Tis truly decadent.

    "9) I often feel slow, tired, and down in the dumps. "​

    TRUE

    I also write emo poetry.

    "10) I am fascinated by car accidents and other disaster scenes. "​

    TRUE

    I am a bit of a sick-fuck in this regard. Browse bestgore.com sometimes.

    "11) I am extremely sensitive to criticism. "​

    TRUE

    I. AM. NOT!

    Ok, maybe a little.

    "12) I get nervous performing in front of people, even when the task is something I know by heart. "​

    TRUE

    I do have a crippling fear of failure in front of other people. This is why I stick with the internet and its flak-jacket of anonymity.

    "13) The people around me seem happier than I do. "​

    TRUE

    Some what to an extent, yet it is just an illusion created by their lower standards.

    Next>>

    "14) I often get the urge to touch walls on which "WET PAINT" signs are hung. "​

    FALSE

    That'd just be retarded.

    "15) On important matters, I usually follow my parents' advice, even when I disagree with it. "​

    TRUE

    I just follow it very badly.

    "16) It is possible that we live in a world where people can watch our every move. "​

    FALSE

    Maybe for special occasions when we go take a dump or something. Other wise, far too few people would OCD enough too watch all the boring crap in between, like when I play FreeCiv or draw ponies or whatever.

    "17) I would have casual sex. "​

    FALSE

    Spending my time with just my right hand and a smutty fan-fic would be less bother.

    "18) When I am in a quiet place I get the urge to scream. "​

    FALSE

    Not really.

    "19) It's okay to tell a white lie if it is guaranteed to bring great personal gain. "​

    TRUE

    As long as you put what you gain towards a worthy cause *couWASTLAND 2gh*, I don't see why not.

    "20) It is often pointless to try to discuss problems with other people. "​

    FALSE

    Even if you don't change their retarded opinions, it's something to do I guess.

    Next>>

    "This is the last page, I promise!"​

    'k

    "21) I am easily embarrassed. "​

    TRUE

    My butt is particularly sensitive to being hurt.

    "22) Children should be seen and not heard. "​

    TRUE

    Annoying little shits. Perhaps once they've invested a few skill points in relevant fields should they then be allowed to speak.

    "23) I find it difficult to break the ice in conversations with people I barely know. "​

    FALSE

    Just ask them about their opinions on Oblivion and you'll know where to go from there.

    "24) My parents were strict disciplinarians. "​

    FALSE

    I would have given my younger self a good few more slaps.

    "25) You can usually judge a person by first impressions. "​

    FALSE

    They could be a really good tranny. Just look at those Taiwanese lady-boys.

    "26) One way of getting people to treat you fairly is to take an aggressive stance and make them win you over. "​

    TRUE

    Everything is shit until I'm proven wrong.

    Next>>

    "WELCOME TO BIRTH & INFANCY​


    "I must be the author of my own salvation."​

    LAURIE H. HUSTER​
    From Invictus (speech from Johannus to Nicholas, Act III)"​

    At the start of each epoch of our life, we get a quote. It changes depending on whether we're a bloke or broad.

    Next>>

    [​IMG]
    [Note: screen shot taken after I did some stuff. Hence why icons are missing from the top of the tree.]

    This the screen where we decide what to do. More options will open up on the sides later.

    The icons the middle represent situations we can pick. I'll be doing them in order for the most part as sequence breaking can have some eye-brow raising results.

    Lets start.

    [Social]

    "A woman walks into a room holding a blanket and a bottle with warm, white liquid.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGRY​
    -HAPPY​

    Select an action :​
    -CRY​
    -COO"​

    Lets try cooing angrily!

    -ANGRY
    -COO

    "How could these two choices possibly go together? I will let you go back and try a more sensible set of responses for now, but let me warn you: Choosing responses without thinking about them first might be interpreted as a sign of poor judgment. People who have poor judgment usually wind up having very difficult lives. Please try again.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGRY​
    -HAPPY​

    Select an action :​
    -CRY​
    -COO"​

    Okay, fine. No need to be so condescending. lets angrily cry.

    -ANGRY
    -CRY

    "The woman is your mother. She interprets the crying as a sign that you need attention. She picks you up and holds you next to her where it is nice and warm. She feeds you. Some would say that you have begun to show a pattern of manipulating people who are close to you, but at your age a child cannot be spoiled. Unfortunately, your mother doesn't know this and begins to feel as if there might be something wrong with either herself or you.​

    Select an action :​
    -STOP CRYING​
    -KEEP CRYING"​

    I'm satisfied that we've bent her to our will enough, lets relent crying.

    -STOP CRYING

    "Now that you are fed, you stop complaining. Your mother attributes your crankiness to hunger. You have salvaged her self-esteem and will be well taken care of. "​

    Next>>

    Hmm, I'll check up what our stats are:

    [Stats]

    "ALTER EGO​
    LIFE STATUS​

    Occupation: (NONE)​
    Relationship status: UNATTACHED​

    Familial: 79​
    Intellectual: 56​
    Physical: 59​
    Social: 78​
    Vocational: 53​

    Calmness: 33​
    Confidence: 28​
    Expressiveness: 75​
    Gentleness: 10​
    Happiness: 18​
    Thoughtfulness: 54​
    Trustworthiness: 67​

    Money: 861​
    Income per turn: 0​
    Thoughtless spending per turn: 0​

    Acquisitions: (NONE) "​

    Intellectual sphere is mediocre. Maybe we'll change this for the better.

    High expressiveness along with low gentleness, calmness & happiness are somewhat more pleasing traits to see in our burgeoning Codexian. She'll hopefully not succumb to decline.

    Next>>

    [Emotional]

    "You don't have very many skills yet. As a matter of fact, life is pretty boring.​

    Select a mood :​
    -RESTLESS/IRRITABLE​
    -QUIET​

    Select an action :​
    -SLEEP​
    -LOOK AROUND​
    -CRY"​

    This is infuriating! Only one course of action is appropriate:

    -RESTLESS/IRRITABLE
    -CRY

    "I can understand how new and confusing all of this must seem to you. Nine months of rest and relaxation, followed by all of that commotion, and now this. You can't see much, and you have no control over your body. Your crying makes something happen. You are lifted up and rocked.​

    Select an action :​
    -KEEP CRYING​
    -CALM DOWN"​

    We seem to be getting results.

    -CALM DOWN

    "The gentle rocking reminds you of the good old days. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. Adaptation to change is a sign of healthy development. Keep this in mind for later. "​

    Just some rocking? I knew we should of kept crying.

    Next>>

    [Intellectual]

    "Lying on your stomach in the crib you notice an interesting object an arm's distance away. It has a round shape at the top, and a ring on the bottom.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGER/FRUSTRATION​
    -DETERMINATION​
    -NEUTRAL​

    Select an action :​
    -GRASP FOR OBJECT​
    -CRY​
    -IGNORE OBJECT"​

    This item shall be inserted into our inventory!

    -ANGER/FRUSTRATION
    -GRASP FOR OBJECT

    "You should never try to do a job when you are angry. You make random swiping movements at the rattle and your frustration increases.​

    Select an action :​
    -KEEP TRYING​
    -QUIT TRYING"​

    -KEEP TRYING

    "You wear yourself out a bit, angrily swiping at the rattle. You compose yourself and lunge toward the toy...​

    You get lucky. Your little pinky catches the ring on the bottom of the rattle and it spins around your finger making a long, pleasing sound. You are becoming the type of person who won't take no for an answer; an aggressive, goal-oriented type. Be careful - you just might get everything you bargain for. "​

    Most satisfactory.

    Next>>

    [Emotional]

    "You are lying on the floor of a big room on a soft, furry blanket. You are on your back staring at shadows that sometimes creep across the ceiling. Every so often Mom or Dad passes by and makes a funny face. Your hands grope in all directions and your feet pat the floor gently, almost out of your control.​

    Select a mood :​
    -HAPPY​
    -SAD​
    -MAD​

    Select an action :​
    -ROLL TO SIDE​
    -MAKE AN "O" SHAPE WITH YOUR MOUTH​
    -CRY"​

    We have no motor control and I must scream!

    -MAD
    -MAKE AN "O" SHAPE WITH YOUR MOUTH

    "You're still too young to talk but you make some noises ("Ooooo, oooooooh, aaaaaaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaak"). This brings some attention and a brief lift from the cold floor."​

    *Sigh*, I guess we'll have to wait 'til we're a little more articulate before we get some real results.

    Next>>

    [Social]

    "You are lying down in your crib and are greeted by a nosy neighbor who has a child just around your age. The neighbor says, "My! Look at that funny little nose." She turns to your mother and adds, "Don't worry, Dear, I hear that noses are the last thing to look truly human." She picks you up.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGRY/VENGEFUL​
    -PASSIVE​

    Select an action :​
    -FALL ASLEEP​
    -COLLECT A MOUTHFUL OF DROOL​
    -CRY"​

    This foolish creature has under estimated us.

    -ANGRY/VENGEFUL
    -COLLECT A MOUTHFUL OF DROOL

    "A nice puddle of saliva has formed on the inside of your mouth.​

    Select an action :​
    -OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND DROOL ON THE NEIGHBOR​
    -DROOL SOMEPLACE ELSE"​

    Second thoughts are for the feeble of mind.

    -OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND DROOL ON THE NEIGHBOR

    "SPLASH! A gooey stream showers your neighbor's face and hands, while you give her a glassy-eyed smile. She places you back in the crib and excuses herself."​

    :smug:

    Next>>

    [Intellectual]

    "You are lying down in the crib while your Mom and Dad are speaking in the other room. You hear their voices, deep and muffled from beyond the door. Why aren't they paying attention to you?​

    Select a mood :​
    -HAPPY​
    -SAD​

    Select an action :​
    -SLEEP​
    -MAKE NOISES"​

    They're not spending all their quality time with us? I'm certain this is just a minor mistake on their part.

    -HAPPY
    -MAKE NOISES

    "Positive, happy noises are sure to bring rewards in the form of attention from parents. You make a variety of noises using your mouth, lips and saliva. You make them over and over again. LA-LA-LA-LA MMmmmMMM GAaaAAaaaAAA... Suddenly your Mom comes in.​

    Select an action :​
    -BE QUIET AND ATTENTIVE​
    -KEEP MAKING NOISES"​

    Let us continue.

    -KEEP MAKING NOISES

    "This brings Mom closer to you. She smiles at you and this makes you feel very excited. You pound your hands up and down on the crib mattress and move your feet like a person riding a bicycle. You begin to notice that your sounds and movement create responses from others.​

    Select an action :​
    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM​
    -STOP MAKING SOUNDS"​

    This seems like an excellent opportunity to discuss with her how Bethesda games are level-scaled crap fests.

    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM

    "BBRRrrEEEeeee...​

    Select an action :​
    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM​
    -STOP MAKING SOUNDS"​

    Bioware games are third rate date-sims?

    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM

    "BBRRrrEEEeeee...​

    Select an action :​
    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM​
    -STOP MAKING SOUNDS"​

    JRPG's are crappy stories, studded with mechanics like sweetcorn in a turd?

    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM

    "BA-BA-BA-BA-BA​

    Select an action :​
    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM​
    -STOP MAKING SOUNDS"​

    Fluttershy is best pony?

    -MAKE SOUNDS AT MOM

    "DAAAAAA...​
    MAAAAAA...​

    Your mom hears this combination and gets excited. This causes you to say it over and over. Mother is reinforcing this combination of sounds with attention, and you are reinforcing her attention with the sounds, keeping her close to you.​

    This marks the beginning of language development and is a very significant moment in your life. Intellectual, Emotional and Social spheres increase dramatically. "​

    We finally did it! I think this happens in just one go if intellect is higher.

    As long as we "put one foot in front of the other", people will surely come to our way of thinking.

    Next>>

    Pay-dirt! We just maxed our intellectual sphere at 100. Good things come to those who complain. Lets hope we can keep the ball rolling.

    Seems like a good high point to end this chapter on.
     
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  17. Crooked Bee (no longer) a wide-wandering bee Patron

    Crooked Bee
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    This is pure mindfuck.
     
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  18. SCO Arcane In My Safe Space

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  19. felipepepe Prestigious Gentleman Codex's Heretic Patron

    felipepepe
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    Fantastic so far, keep up the good work! :salute:
     
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  20. Thor Kaufman Arcane Zionist Agent

    Thor Kaufman
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    Good game
    Iirc I played it once and trusted the stranger with the car.
     
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  21. Clockwork Knight Arcane

    Clockwork Knight
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    Oh god these choices :lol:
     
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  22. schluberlubs Educated

    schluberlubs
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Shaggy's PlayWorld
    Ch. 2: Grinding and leveling up

    "Welcome back."​

    [Emotional]

    "You have just awakened from a nice, long nap. Your mom comes in the room and wants to hold you.​

    Select a mood :​
    -SLEEPY​
    -CRANKY​
    -HAPPY​

    Select an action :​
    -CRY​
    -DO NOTHING​
    -SMILE"​

    -SLEEPY
    -DO NOTHING

    "It's a dog's life, isn't it? Nothing to do all day except eat, sleep and wonder what life will be like when you're older. (Does life really change after 2 ?) Mom is coming closer.​

    Select an action :​
    -ATTEND TO HER​
    -IGNORE HER"​

    Lets see what she wants.

    -ATTEND TO HER

    "Very good. Eye contact with your caretakers is very reinforcing to them. Parents often mistakenly think that it is the children who need all the attention. Believe me, parents want it, too. Your eye contact with her makes her smile. Social and Emotional spheres are increasing.​

    Select an action :​
    -SMILE BACK​
    -BECOME SLEEPY"​

    We've given enough.

    -BECOME SLEEPY

    "Too tired to interact now? That's understandable. You did, however, pass up the opportunity for a rewarding social and emotional interaction."​

    Next>>

    [Intellectual]

    "You are quietly playing with your mother's pocketbook. (She is not around.) Look! It opens up so easily!​

    Select a mood :​
    -INQUISITIVE​
    -DEVILISH​

    Select an action :​
    -LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH​
    -LOOK, TOUCH AND EMPTY"​

    Effecting things in other peoples inventory isn't within our interests.

    -INQUISITIVE
    -LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH

    "Your self-control is quite remarkable. Look at all of those tiny little bottles and tubes. No one would notice if you touched a few. Want to go back and try again?​

    Select an action :​
    -YES​
    -NO"​

    I've made up my mind.

    -NO

    "What a good girl. You're beautiful without all that make-up."​

    I... Ok.

    Next>>

    [Family]

    "It's time to go to Aunt Lucy's house. It's chilly outside and you need to be dressed in a coverall-type suit.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGRY​
    -PLAYFUL​

    Select an action :​
    -GO LIMP​
    -RESIST​
    -COOPERATE"​

    A necessary evil.

    -PLAYFUL
    -COOPERATE

    "What a good baby! Your mother has very little trouble getting you into your suit. Your grandmother holds you while your mom gets dressed.​

    Select an action :​
    -GIVE HER A GREAT BIG SMILE​
    -SPIT UP ON HER​
    -IGNORE HER"​

    -IGNORE HER

    "Bundled up tightly like this can be quite confining. You would need to expend a great deal of energy turning your head so that you can see what your grandmother is doing.​

    Select an action :​
    -KEEP IGNORING​
    -LOOK AT GRANDMA"​

    Guess we've got nothing better to do.

    -LOOK AT GRANDMA

    "It was worth the energy. Grandma has pulled out a delicious cherry lollipop from the "bottomless bag" and has given it to you to eat. It pays to attend to Grandma."​

    As long as it's not pineapple flavour, this was a good result.

    Next>>

    [Intellectual]

    "You are exploring the playpen and are feeling very lively. Like a ballerina, you grab hold of the playpen bars and lift your legs up to the railing.​

    Select a mood :​
    -DARING​
    -DETERMINED​

    Select an action :​
    -LET GO OF THE PLAYPEN​
    -TAKE SOME STEPS"​

    -TAKE SOME STEPS
    -DETERMINED

    "You are showing signs of early confidence, mixed with just the right amount of risk-taking.​

    Even the most confident of sorts meets with an occasional flop, which is literally what you do. You pick yourself up for a second try and have limited success. Two small steps for Baby, one giant leap for Babykind. "​

    You know those times when you can't think of something funny to say? Yeah.

    Next>>

    [Emotional]

    "Mom and Dad are entertaining some friends, while you are minding your own business sitting quietly in a corner of the room. Suddenly, a man with a big nose and a shiny head puts his face right up to yours and says something in a loud voice.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGER​
    -TERROR​
    -CALM​

    Select an action :​
    -SCREAM IN A LOUD VOICE​
    -HIT THE MAN IN THE NOSE​
    -DO NOTHING"​

    He speaks in all-caps. Is this BLOBERT?

    Let us attempt communication with this gentleman.

    -ANGER
    -SCREAM IN A LOUD VOICE

    "Who is this crazy person? He scared you half out of your wits. Screaming is a good defense. Your dad comes over and gives you a hug. Your mom thinks this man has had enough to drink. "​

    Drinking? Definitely BLOBERT.

    Next>>

    [Emotional]

    "You are sitting in your highchair and eating your lunch, which consists of crackers, strained peas and a mug of milk. You are just learning how to eat with utensils.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGRY​
    -CURIOUS​

    Select an action :​
    -PICK UP SUZY FANTASTIK PLASTIC DRINKING CUP​
    -TRY TO USE THE SPOON​
    -ESCAPE FROM THE HIGHCHAIR"​

    This is probably like one of those god-forsaken adventure games where you have to escape a room. Attempting to leave the high chair directly would be too obvious and logical a choice, so lets try applying the spoon to something.

    -ANGRY
    -TRY TO USE THE SPOON

    "Using hatchet-like strokes, you pulverize the cracker until it is unrecognizable.​

    Select an action :​
    -YELL AND POUND ON THE HIGHCHAIR TRAY​
    -QUIETLY SPRINKLE THE CRUMBS ALL OVER THE FLOOR"​

    :yeah:

    -YELL AND POUND ON THE HIGHCHAIR TRAY

    "Sometimes children your age just go wild for no apparent reason. Some parents will let you act out, as long as you are not doing anything dangerous to yourself.​
    Since your parents aren't very strict, your mother tries to ride this one out.​

    What will you do:​

    Select an action :​
    -LIFT THE HIGHCHAIR TRAY AND SLAM IT DOWN​
    -STOP"​

    She's not rising to our trolling attempts. She gives us a 2/10.

    -STOP

    "You have just avoided a premature nap. "​

    Namely why IRL troll syndrome is a bad thing.

    Next>>

    [Social]

    "While being taken to the park, your dad meets an old college buddy who is wheeling around a baby about your age. As the two dads talk, you casually begin to eye the baby in the other carriage.​

    Select a mood :​
    -INDIFFERENT​
    -CURIOUS​
    -AGGRESSIVE​

    Select an action :​
    -DO NOTHING​
    -PUT YOUR FINGER NEAR THE OTHER BABY'S FACE"​

    Lets see who we are dealing with first.

    -CURIOUS
    -PUT YOUR FINGER NEAR THE OTHER BABY'S FACE

    "A baby! You wonder if it has all the same parts as you.​

    Select an action :​
    -TOUCH THE BABY'S FACE​
    -TOUCH THE BABY'S ARM"​

    Start off small, probe the arm.

    -TOUCH THE BABY'S ARM

    "The baby touches you back. You are exploring the environment and learning about one another. This causes your Intellectual and Social spheres to increase. You seem to like one another. You've made your first friend! "​

    Excellent, interaction and exchanging of information with peers is just what our Codexian needs to do. We're taking baby-steps at the moment, but one day we will be subjecting people to "1 Guy 1 Jar" and "Church of fudge".

    Next>>

    [Emotional]

    "Up until this point in life, Weasly Rabbit, your stuffed toy, has been one of your best friends. You take him everywhere with you, but he is beginning to get on in years. One of his ears is torn off, and a recent eye injury has made his face look a little lopsided.​

    Your mother suggests that Weasly should be retired. You wake up one day to discover Weasly has been moved from the place where you last spotted him.​

    Select a mood :​
    -PANICKY​
    -SUSPICIOUS​
    -UNCONCERNED​

    Select an action :​
    -CRY​
    -SEEK INFORMATION​
    -DO NOTHING"​

    We're not putting up with this bullshit, I know exactly what that Hag has done!

    -SUSPICIOUS
    -SEEK INFORMATION

    "You confront Mom with the fact that Weasly was not in the spot where he was last deposited. She claims not to have seen him either. You are:​

    Select an action :​
    -SATISFIED WITH THIS ANSWER​
    -NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS ANSWER"​

    We see through your lies & deceit!

    -NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS ANSWER

    "Wisely, you persist. This time she tells you that Weasly left because he wanted to be with friends who were more like him. She tells you that next week you will have a new visitor, a brand new friend who will be just as nice as Weasly. You are:​

    Select an action :​
    -SATISFIED​
    -NOT SATISFIED"​

    Next, she'll be telling us we no longer need Wasteland and she'll get us Fallout 3, claiming it to be just as good. No. Just no.

    -NOT SATISFIED

    "Bravo! Don't fall for that line of bull. Parents are great at fabricating stories like this when they make mistakes. You will not get your Weasly Wabbit back, but your intelligence and perseverance in this situation make it harder for your parents to tell you made-up stories to cover their mistakes."​

    Alas, the damage is done. Still, we're developing the critical thinking we need to plow through the fields of bullshit we'll encounter later on.

    Next>>

    Just take a wee' gander at our stats

    [Stats]

    "ALTER EGO​
    LIFE STATUS​

    Occupation: (NONE)​
    Relationship status: UNATTACHED​

    Familial: 89​
    Intellectual: 100​
    Physical: 94​
    Social: 85​
    Vocational: 53​

    Calmness: 33​
    Confidence: 71​
    Expressiveness: 75​
    Gentleness: 1​
    Happiness: 61​
    Thoughtfulness: 76​
    Trustworthiness: 67​

    Money: 861​
    Income per turn: 0​
    Thoughtless spending per turn: 0​

    Acquisitions: (NONE) "​

    Seems we are becoming not only intelligent, but healthy and empowered. Gentleness has become our dump-stat, we don't hold back the ugly truth.

    Next>>

    [Physical]

    "You are alone in the kitchen and begin exploring the closets and refrigerator.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ADVENTUROUS​
    -CURIOUS BUT CAUTIOUS​

    Select an action :​
    -MOVE TOWARD REFRIGERATOR​
    -MOVE TOWARD PANTRY"​

    I'm well acquainted with fridges, yet I've never had a house with a pantry. Lets see whats contained within that.

    -ADVENTUROUS
    -MOVE TOWARD PANTRY

    "You swing the pantry door open and see all of the beautifully-colored jars, boxes and bottles. One jar looks particularly pretty. It is shiny and brown and full of liquid. You unscrew the cap and smell what is inside. It smells sweet.​

    Select an action :​
    -TASTE IT​
    -PUT IT BACK"​

    Could be bleach. And their ain't nothing wrong with our gene pool.

    -PUT IT BACK

    "You have just avoided a potentially lethal accident. Your good judgment has saved your life! "​

    Next>>

    [Intellect]

    "You are touching something smooth and shiny. You pat it with your hand a few times.​

    Select a mood :​
    -CONFUSED​
    -PASSIVE​

    Select an action :​
    -KEEP TOUCHING​
    -IGNORE THE SMOOTH SHINY THING"​

    Considering this situation didn't come with a sexual warning, this probably isn't going to be something horrendous like a dildo. Continue investigating.

    -CONFUSED
    -KEEP TOUCHING

    "It is flat and a little cool. Wait a minute! There's a baby in there. Who is that baby?​

    Select an action :​
    -YOU​
    -SOMEONE ELSE"​

    Our clone! Now neither of us will be virgins!

    -YOU

    "That's right! You are looking at yourself in a mirror. Isn't that a BEE-YOO-TEE-FUL baby?​

    Select an action :​
    -YES​
    -NO"​

    God damn, we're so hawt!

    -YES

    "You really are quite stunning. You are developing a positive self-image. "​

    Crap, we're supposed to be self-deprecating.

    Next>>

    [Emotional]

    "Your mom announces to you, during a heart to heart talk, that it is time for you to give up the bottle and drink from a glass like a big girl.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ANGRY/STUBBORN​
    -DISAPPOINTED BUT WILLING TO TRY​

    Select an action :​
    -RESIST/REFUSE​
    -GIVE THE BOTTLE UP"​

    I'm not seeing how this is in our best interests.

    -ANGRY/STUBBORN
    -RESIST/REFUSE

    "How are you going to show your resistance?​

    Select an action :​
    -CRY​
    -FOLD YOUR ARMS AND SAY, "NO!"​
    -THROW THE BOTTLE AT MOMMY"​

    Just stand our ground.

    -FOLD YOUR ARMS AND SAY, "NO!"

    "A nice strong effort to fight for what you believe in. Since you are strong enough to put up such a fuss, you are also old enough to get off the bottle.​

    Select an action :​
    -SUCK YOUR THUMB AS A SUBSTITUTE​
    -LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT IT"​

    We're left with little choice.

    -LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT IT

    "It will be tough for a while--you'll turn to Poseable Suzy Fantastik for comfort. Believe me, cold turkey is the best way to do it. Good luck. "​

    The shakes and dry heaving were difficult to get used to.

    NEXT>>

    [Social]

    "You are a guest at your friend Missy's house. Her mom gives you both a box of crayons and two pieces of paper.​

    Select a mood :​
    -ARTISTIC​
    -IMPULSIVE​

    Select an action :​
    -DRAW ON THE PAPER​
    -DRAW (IN GENERAL)"​

    Lets try drawing some Yaoi.

    -IMPULSIVE
    -DRAW ON THE PAPER

    "You scribble back and forth wildly, creating bold slashes of color. When you are finished, you can:​

    Select an action :​
    -CRUMPLE IT UP AND START AGAIN​
    -SAVE IT"​

    It'd probably help if we new at least a little bit about form & anatomy. Regardless, it's pretty hawt so we shall save it for later.

    -SAVE IT

    "You appreciate the value of even this kind of emotional expression. When you are famous, this scribbling might be worth a fortune. "​

    Excellent! We'll be certain to sell prints of it over at DevianTart.

    Next>>

    [Intellectual]

    "You are sitting in a large place, and a furry man walks up to you. He's walking around you in circles.​

    Select a mood :​
    -CURIOUS​
    -FRIGHTENED​

    Select an action :​
    -POINT AT THE FURRY MAN​
    -MAKE NOISES AT/TALK TO THE FURRY MAN"​

    This furry will hopefully be easy to upset.

    -CURIOUS
    -MAKE NOISES AT/TALK TO THE FURRY MAN

    "You yell out to the furry man, and he walks over to you. He makes a noise that sounds like this: "Roooouf." Then he sits on your leg.​

    Select an action :​
    -GRAB THE FURRY MAN BY THE HEAD​
    -PUSH HIM OFF YOU"​

    -PUSH HIM OFF YOU

    "This man is heavy! He looks back at you while you are pushing him off and blows his nose right in your face. "​

    Cheeky prick!

    Next>>

    [Social]

    "You are in a large department store waiting in line, and there is an extremely well-endowed woman standing in front of you. She smiles. It looks like she may be an interesting person to talk to.​

    Select a mood :​
    -INQUISITIVE​
    -SHY​

    Select an action :​
    -ASK HER SOME QUESTIONS​
    -BE QUIET"​

    -INQUISITIVE
    -ASK HER SOME QUESTIONS

    "Which question would you like to ask her?​

    Select an action :​
    -"DO YOU HAVE A HUSBAND?"​
    -"DO YOU HAVE A DOGGIE?"​
    -"MOMMY SAID THAT DADDY HAS A THICK SKULL. DO YOU?"​
    -"I TRIED VERY HARD TO PINCH A PENNY LIKE AUNT EDNA BUT COULDN'T. CAN YOU?"​
    -STOP ASKING QUESTIONS"​

    Unfortunately, we seem to be stuck with Fallout 1/2 style low intelligence dialogue options. Lets make the best of it.

    -"I TRIED VERY HARD TO PINCH A PENNY LIKE AUNT EDNA BUT COULDN'T. CAN YOU?"

    "You don't get past the word "Aunt" before you are scooped up by your mother and dragged to a new line. "​

    God damn censorship! This is worst than SOPA!

    Next>>

    [Emotional]

    "You are alone in your parents' bedroom. There is a shiny silver quarter on the table.​

    Select a mood :​
    -HONEST​
    -DISHONEST​

    Select an action :​
    -TAKE THE QUARTER​
    -LEAVE IT ALONE"​

    Like I said before, we're not interested in removing things from other peoples inventory. What are we going to buy with a sodding quarter any way?

    -HONEST
    -LEAVE IT ALONE

    "This might have been a tough decision for you. At your age and even sometimes into adulthood, honesty is often less than clear-cut. Maybe you imagined that you had nothing to gain by stealing the quarter. You were right about that. Instead you've gained in the Trustworthiness category. "​

    Next>>

    [Family]

    "Daddy says, "It's time to go to bed."​

    Select a mood :​
    -CRANKY/MAD​
    -TIRED​

    Select an action :​
    -ASK TO STAY UP A LITTLE WHILE LONGER​
    -SAY, "I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED."​
    -IGNORE THE REQUEST"​

    -CRANKY/MAD
    -SAY, "I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED."

    "You fold your hands across your chest and look him straight in the eye. He laughs at you and begins to pick you up. You say:​

    Select an action :​
    -"NO!"​
    -"OK""​

    -"NO!"

    "He says, "Sorry, Sweetheart," and tucks you under his arm.​

    Select an action :​
    -CRY​
    -DO NOTHING"​

    We've offered our best arguments and he's getting physical.

    -DO NOTHING

    "Good Night! Dad says, "I love you." "​

    You'll get your just-deserts when ITZ comes, old man.

    Next>>

    Come to think of it, now seems like a good time to put this chapter to sleep (Permanently!).

    Just wondering, should I use spoiler tags?
     
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  23. CappenVarra phase-based phantasmist Patron

    CappenVarra
    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2,911
    Location:
    Ardamai
    Played this once... and ate a jar of cleaning paste that burnt the character's stomach. But it was sweet, damn it! :(
     
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