Update 2: Warlocks and Worms.
: I thirst for more, find me another land to defile warlock!
: Lord Keeper I have found a land for you, one absent of incline.
: Cozyton - A hideous sham of a town, in which the prosperous citizens
have no gripes or moans. Sadly, even the children are happy and
secure. This is because they aren't punished for non-existent
crimes...
:
I will skin them alive and use their skin to hang them! Order the slaves to start digging my new underground citadel!
: Tell the slave overseer to make my slaves work faster or he'll join them.
: Yes Lord Keeper.
: Lord Keeper, a treasury, lair and hatchery have been established. The portal has been claimed as you have ordered. I would like to inform you that the Dark Gods have revealed how to construct a training room for our minions. Should I order the slaves to construct it?
: TRAINING IS NOT TRUE COMBAT!
: It will make our horde stronger Lord Keeper. Perhaps you will reconsider?
: If I could feel anything but rage I would grow tired of the list of demands these pathetic minions make! [sigh] Very well make the imps break their backs and lose their limbs when building the necessary training machinery.
: It shall be done Lord Keeper.
: The imps have finished constructing the training chamber. It seems that the chamber has attracted demon spawns which seek to join your horde.
: YOU CALL THAT PATHETIC CREATURE A DEMON SPAWN?! I HAVE SEEN MORE MENACING SHIT CRAWL OUT OF MY ANUS AS I DEFECATED ON MY ENEMIES! KHORNE, NURGLE, TZEENTCH AND SLAANESH BE MY WITNESSES, IF THESE MINIONS FAIL ME THE PAIN THEY WILL FEEL WILL BE MORE THAN JUST EXCRUCIATING!
: The Ruinous Powers have revealed to me the location of major gold deposits Lord Keeper.
: Tell the overseer to send imps to dig out a tunnel and mine those deposits.
: It has been done as you wished Lord keeper.
: Ah visitors, at last. Let them come, I need entertainment.
: Let's see if the trinkets and time needed to train these maggots wasn't wasted.
: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
: Pathetic dwarfs cling to their trinkets even as they go into battle. They are unworthy of the attention of the Dark Gods.
: Show yourself hellspawn! I have come to claim your riches and your head.
: WORM! I shall maim your body personally. Prepare the possession ritual! I shall see how my "demon spawn" perform in glorious combat.
: It shall be done Lord Keeper.
: These maggots may be weak but they were still more than a match for you worm! Place his skull next to the skull of the last fool lord. I think I'll start a collection.
: With pleasure Lord Keeper.
: Ah, the sweet scent of rotting flesh. It smells like... victory. Start the defiling of this realm and rename it to Darkhana.
[a few days later]
: It is done Lord Keeper.
:Darkhana - The surviving citizens have more on their plates than a
Demon Spawn with three dead adventurers to munch. Not that many
citizens have survived, as such.
: Good, more skulls for the skull throne.
Meanwhile in Skybird Trill...
: Sovereign I have news most dire. It seems that evil has struck again. This time in Cozytown. Scouts report corpses hanged on ropes made of human skin.
: By the gods! Was there any sign of the children?!
: It seems that the children were all killed. In a most disturbing way it seems. The scout who has seen their bodies has gone completely mad. He speaks of the Ruinous Powers guiding an unholy crusade to end the age of decline.
: We must act against this evil! Gather heroes and tell them to hit stuff with their swords. This has always worked in the past. This is a fantasy kingdom after all.
: Yes my lord.
SCORE:
The highscore table will be at the end of this update. Don't worry bros.
Back at the Lord Keeper's Citadel...
: My unholy crusade needs a new target. Find me one warlock!
: Here it is Lord Keeper.
: WaterDream Warm - A region of pointless frolicking and endless
pleasure. No one here understands the true meaning of suffering and
RANDOM SHOCKING VIOLENCE METED OUT ARBITRARILY.
: I SHALL MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND IT!
: Begin the construction of my new underground fortress.
: The slaves have mined out a gold deposit and built a treasury Lord Keeper.
: Make them claim the portal.
: WORK FASTER YOU WORM!
: Order the construction of a lair for my minions.
: Yes Lord Keeper.
: It is my pleasure to report that the construction has been completed and the horde has grown. I also have a suggestion Lord Keeper. You could order the construction of a library, this would allow you to research new chamber types and perform more powerful rituals. It would also attract others of my kind to your dungeon. Surely you crusade could use the support of warlocks.
: Very well, I'll use them to start a blaze which shall consume my enemies. Tell the slaves to mine out more chambers and construct a hatchery in addition to the library.
: It has been done Lord Keeper. I also ordered the imps to mine more gold.
: The warlocks have researched a new spell. Unfortunately they cannot research more at this moment. I have ordered them to train their combat skills so that they can hurl the very fire of the warp at your enemies.
: Good. Find my imps some more gold to mine.
: What are these? Two groups of "heroes" seek to attack my citadel?! THEY SHALL BURN!
: The minions have been assembled.
: The first group of dwarf attackers has exploded in a shower of gold.
: Die you greedy worms!
: A scout has discovered a holy temple place filled with gold.
: Have the slaves claim it and the warlocks burn it to the ground.
: Our imp has encountered an enemy assault force. He is being raped most distastefully.
: Forget about the imp, he's expendable as you all are. Send in the warlocks and prepare the possession ritual. I shall lead the counterattack personally.
: I will cleanse these holy chambers of your filth blasphemer!
: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
: Ah, another skull to add to my collection!
:Time to make this land rot just like this worm will soon. Rename it as Withersdead.
: Yes Lord Keeper.
A few days later...
: Withersdread - This place now has a proper name because of what you
did here, there is a healthy disrespect for life, and you'll be
amused to hear that cannibalism has gained a strong foothold amongst
the ragged inhabitants.
: Yes, cannibalism should please the Dark Gods.
Scores:
I need to improve on my slap rate. Way too low. Don't expect an update for the next few days though bros. I got some work to do, I will update as soon as I find the time though.