Completed Let's play: Horde! (Finished)

[BearBomber]

Walls are good, there are no crazy Pollaks to tear them down.

 

[Jim Cojones]

Let me add another brick: I vote for the wall.

 

[lightbane]

vote for the wall (and the guard if possible).

 

[ghostdog]

This kind of humor is really missing in games of today.
Love the LP, get the wall.

 

[Sovard]

Oh, sorry, I didn't vote.

Wall. Steal the secrets from the effete compagnon builders.

 

[oldschool]

wall +1

 

[RK47]

This game's very very tough. And somewhat fun too, I can still remember the catchy tunes when the horde came.

I think I managed to reach the desert before I gave up.

 

[Monocause]

At least the crops are alright and we didn't lose cows. They are vital since they provide cash. Honestly, I don't even know what the villagers do exactly, but anyway, I suppose protecting them is a good idea.

IIRC villagers increase your crop output. Having more trees nets you more villagers. All in all, it's worthwile to save them.

I may have missed it, but it wasn't mentioned yet - knights have an upkeep cost, something like 25gp.

Thanks for rekindling old memories

 

[SerratedBiz]

This is an awesome game! It's been a long time since the last time I played it but it still brings back some good memories.

I say go for the swordsman! Protects the cows, keeps you safe until the next two years when you start to get your ass whopped.

 

[RK47]

Either you put walls to surround your cows, or knight to protect them. I always live by cash cows. Crops are so hard to protect since the just get gobbled up so quickly.

 

[WalterKinde]

the Haunch Secret Recipe for the horde seems like something useful to keep them away from the village, maybe next time for the soldiers if they cost money for up keep

 

[Darth Roxor]

Welcome back citizens! In the last episode of our TRANSCENDENTAL QUEST we finished the second year on the Shimto Plains, and you, my loyal subjects voted to buy the masonic secrets.

Spoiler

Without further delays, let's begin year III

I noticed we mostly get attacked from the north, so I didn't place any walls at the cows yet.

INCOMING

Leave the villager alone, you red shit!

chauncey arrives in time to save the day!

Let's buy moar cows.

And some protection for them just for the hell of it.

Only four hordlings? Pfffff, what is this dumbed down console shit for the masses?

Faggots eliminated a peasant . Still, three down, where's the fourth slowpoke?

Uh... Shimton, we have a problem.

Third type of hordling we'll be facing, let's call him the 'tank'. They are tough as fuck, hit hard as hell and instadestroy buildings the moment they 'walk' into them. And you have to be extra careful when fighting them, since you have to employ hit'n'run tactics, because if you attack three-four times without moving, Chauncey gets 'dazed' and stands there immobilized for a few seconds before he can proceed

And here's what happens when you get hit: -40hp and a serious knockback

epic battle continues

Goodbye villager!

DIE, DIE, DIE!!!! AHAHAHA

Goddamn cows eat up a lot of land

But moving them is easy, and we expand the wall in the direction from which nothing comes, since you can't build walls (or anything for that matter) on the roads.

Call in the horde!

Let's hope that we don't get tanks this time...

Tactical Map (TM) shows incoming fighters. The single one in the south was stupid enough to drown

Shit... okay let's get the second one before we take this tough guy down.

But then we discover that the second one IS ALSO A TOUGH GUY FFS

Uh, the situation is getting pretty much out of control. Notice the upper left corner with the ruined building with no villager inside... the guy in the ruins to the right will soon share his fate.

TAKING HITS

One down, one to go. Goodbye, humble villager_03!

Oh, and did I mention being extra careful when fighting them?
Well... I wasn't, and here's what happens...

I KNEW IT! The greedy jewish bastard was after our valuables from day one :evil:

Anyway folks, do not despair! I'm not insane enough to do this in iron-man, so we'll begin the third year again later with new experiences, and we'll be EXTRA extra careful this time.

Stay tuned for MOAR later!

 

[Balor]

Hey! I've almost forgotten about it!
I remembe the pure joy of playing it, back in the days when it was both fun AND beautiful as it gets.

Didn't manage to finish it though - this game is fucking HARD. I hope you'll finish it so I can see how it ends .

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

This game has greedy jews as well? Where the hell can i get it?!

 

[Darth Roxor]

Didn't manage to finish it though - this game is fucking HARD. I hope you'll finish it so I can see how it ends .

I've never finished it either, I got stuck on the snowy lands and gave up eventually. I even managed to get passed the friggin desert which was racist already, but the winter areas were just preposterous.

I'll finish it THIS TIME AROUND THOUGH >

 

[Darth Roxor]

What you've seen before was mearly the Chancellor's evil propaganda showing our failure, here's the real version of what has happened:

Spoiler

Year 3: spring.

Moar cows.

Moar hordlings

Epic battle has ensued

See the corpse floating in the river? Dumbfuck stayed underwater too long and drowned. Not that I'm complaining, less trouble for me.
And btw trouble - VILLAGER DOWN.

But I managed to save the next victim of THE HORDE

And another one! Chauncey teh protector of oppressed townsfolk strikes again.

And with good results too.

Another bird's eye view of our promising settlement. Also, it's important to cut down trees in this overland map mode, because it shows a lot more terrain than the normal view, so you also see more trees to cut down (they are shown as greener-than-grass shapes with a small dark line under them).

Next-gen cow pen 2.0. Now with 75% more bloom on the walls, and 100% less rocks under the bovine.

INCOMING

Faggots spawned in the middle of my village! What is this treason?! (They probably popped out of these rabbit holes on the ground - they can be removed with the shovel in strategy mode)

Pop!

LEAVE ANDHAIRA... I mean, uh, THE PEASANT ALONE DOUCHEBAG

Sonar scan shows a pocket battleship incoming from the North-West Herr Kommandant.

CLEANSE, PURGE, KILL

Shit shit, we've been hit.

But it cannot stop Chauncey's epic bloodlust.

Surprisingly good results.

One more cow joins Teh Herd

Bring 'em on! *lock'n'load*

Comrade Hordling compass will lead us to victory!

We make short work of the regular suckers, now for the tanks.

Hah, faggot didn't eat the villager. Notice the birds flying over Chauncey's head - yup, he's dazed from too much swingin'. He's not a sultan of swing, unfortunately.

Dammit. Goodbye humble worker, you've served me well!

Now for a glorious pursuit through the plains

There goes another patch with crops...

But the tank goes down eventually, and we win the video game.

Last look on our town this year.

And on our cows.

MOAR!

Only one enemy sighted so far. I don't like it

Jumpers... dammit

Come back here and fight like a man, you stupid cock!

...

Finally got him. I was chasing him through half the town while he took 4 of my crops. Really, going after the jumpers is ridiculous sometimes

Now to dispatch the regulars

Farewell farmer John! We barely knew ye

ffs

DOH

Mission accomplished

Zionist swine!

Interesting. What might the king want from us?

Neat. So now we have moar hp, and we are sent to the shoppe. Again, you are free to vote on what we should buy.

Until the next update!

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

So... what can you buy from the shop this time? The same stuff as before? If so, LE BOBME!

 

[Satori (original)]

Notice the birds flying over Chauncey's head - yup, he's dazed from too much swingin'. He's not a sultan of swing, unfortunately.

This is a damn fine LP, anyway for the vote I pick the knight contract.

 

[Sovard]

I wonder if Le Bombe would help with those tanks.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Good work Roxor, this LP rocks! GO CHANCEY!

 

[RK47]

Hmmm. I am unsure what counters the tank best. But why not give the secret recipe a try, perhaps you can distract him long enough to lessen the danger?

 

[Darth Roxor]

So... what can you buy from the shop this time? same stuff as before?

yup

 

[ghostdog]

If you have enough money why not buy both Le bombe and the secret recipe?

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

Extra lulz is to be had if Roxor uses Le Bombe as a suicide bomb.

 

[Panthera]

Bring in the Knights.