Let's Play Magna Mundi: Pakistan Ascendant

[GeneralSamov]

That's bloody epic. May you leave many impregnated goats along your way and spread the love through all of India!

 

[GarfunkeL]

Good show so far

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

You should have save-edited the Superstar's general stats to maximum, for extra challenge.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Thracian goat cavalry shall carry the day to victory

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

My save editor crapped out, Vaar, otherwise I'd have made him an unstoppable demigod. You can mod general stats much higher than 6/6/6/2

Second half of the ultimate dance-off incoming tonight.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Andhaira pulls his troops back to Maharashtra for reinforcements, now that the Hindu general Immadi has been forced back into the Vidyanegro heartlands. He then begins concocting a cunning strategy to isolate the Superstar. The Shah orders his men back to Ahmanagar, while the supporting Baluchi Horde marches down from Khandesh. Andhaira hopes to capture Ahmanagar and defeat the Superstar in open battle, chasing him into the Vidyanegro province of Konkan. At Konkan, the Superstar will be cut off from retreat. If the plan is to work, the Delhi Horde must be free to intercept the Superstar, so only the Baluchi Horde can be spared to fight at Dadra. As such, the Shah rides to personally command the Horde, lest his commanders be fatally overtaken by a bout of incompetence.

His back against the wall, the Superstar has the audacity, the idiocy and the cowardice to call for a truce. As a son of the Andhairavid line, the Shah of course has the emissary ritually castrated and thrown into the royal goat pit. Thus is the fate of all who oppose the Inane One.

The Gujarati Horde, meanwhile, has been forced to pull back from Indravati, after suffering horrific casualties from a combination of brutal siege warfare and attrition. It would appear that until the Superstar and his generals are made floppy and militarily impotent, Kondavidu will remain out of the Shah's grasp.

The Delhi Horde arrives in Ahmadanagar. The assault begins immediately.

Despite the unexpected resilience of the Hindu defenders, Ahmadanagar is captured. Now the Shah can initiate the second phase of his stratagem. The Superstar is at a severe numerical disadvantage, so the Shah is confident in victory. It does not need to be a crushing victory, it simply needs to be enough to force the Superstar into Konkan.

Fucking wildcard! The Raja of Travanacore provided the Superstar with enough reinforcements to overcome his severe numerical disadvantage. The Shah's plan has been ruined by this sudden calamity, but there is still something to be salvaged from this failure.

The Shah immediately sends orders for the Delhi Horde to march on the Superstar at Dadra. The Delhi Horde is fresh, while the Superstar's troops are severely bloodied from the battle against the Baluchi Horde. The Shah has no intention of giving the Hindus a moment's respite while Rajini Kanth still draws breath.

Pro Patria, Pro Gloria, Pro Andhaira!

Hearing of the catastrophe at Dadra, Immadi makes a desperate march on Andhairavid lands, perhaps in a gambit for Delhi. He is intercepted at Nagpur and sent off with bloody nose.

The Superstar manages to reunite with his general at the old Bahmanid capital in Golconda. Nevertheless, he is chased off to Raichur Doab. The Andhairavid commander, a Baluchi by the name of Andhaira Ghazai, gives chase in the hopes of crushing what remains of the Vidyanegro soldiery.

Godfuckingdamnit.

Another victory like this and I will be undone.

In hindsight, perhaps this wasn't so Pyrrhic a victory. The Superstar has been forced to flee into Konkan, trapped between the three Andhairavid Hordes in a bizarre twist on the Shah's earlier stratagem.

And the nail in the coffin. Cheap special effects and magical dice aren't so useful when there's a randy, drugged up goat tearing its way into your lower intestinal tract, huh?

The Gujarati Horde, under orders from the Shah, marches on the beating heart of Infidelgoateateristan, the province of Kondavidu. The Delhi and Baluchi Horde are pulled back to reinforce from the appalling bloodshed of the last few months. When his forces are suitably bolstered, the Shah will begin the long process of occupation.

The Superstar appears to have fled, but the Shah will catch up with him sooner or later. Konkan has fallen to the mighty, gloriously phallic Sikh guns. One by one, the cow-worshipers will submit, and the glorious goat of Baluchistan will fly above their cities.

But what's this?! Butt-pirates are plaguing Vidyanegro and Portuguese coasts!

Infuriatingly, many Hindus continue to resist the Shah. Their blood will adorn the royal goat-pits. The Superstar has yet to be seen, perhaps he has fled? He is rumoured to be raising an army in the south, but it is doubtful he can raise enough men to oppose the Shah now that his original grand army has been annihilated

Further to the east, the last remnants of Deva Bengali resistance have been crushed. I don't actually have the option to make peace with them,, because they're vassals of the Vidyanegroes, How or when they were forced to lick the impotent scrotum of Vidyanegro, I do not know.

The rumours appear to have been true. Rajini has appeared in Raichur Doab with a force of Travanacore Hindus. He must have been awaiting reinforcements from elsewhere. He could not possibly have hoped to resist the Shah with such a pathetic force.

Soon, despite scattered resistance from the Superstar and the Raja of Travanacore, most of the northern Vidyanegro lands now fly the glorious Goat of Baluchistan, and scores of Hindus have been made to kiss the Golden Goat of Delhi.

After a bitter siege lasting over a year, the heart of Vijayanagar is ripped out. Only by God's intervention could the Superstar prevail now.

What could possibly go wrong now?

GOAT EATING SON OF A GEORGIAN WHORE

The Travancore, loyal allies to the end, immediately abandon their Superstar and flee back to their capital. The Gujarati Horde, now split into parts to more efficiently besiege the Vidyanegroes, converges on the Superstar.

Climb a rope ladder of cow turds, you smelly rice eating wog!

The Superstar is captured and brought before the Shah. The Vidyanegroes are broken, they are no longer a threat. Rajini is no longer a threat, but he must be humbled for his insolence. He is thrown into the goat pits, with the royal Sikh Rapist Goats. He crawls back to his homeland a broken old man, his orifices considerably wider, his glorious dreams shattered like glass. The Shah decides to leave the Vidyanegro state intact, but he strips Rajini of his title, declaring him a mere Raja. He is made to release all of the northern Vidyanegro territories that once belonged to the Bahmanid and Orissan Kingdoms, and to release the Raja of Deva Bengal from vassalage.

The Vidyanegro confederacy is broken, the Superstar is vanquished, the Hindus are now left at the mercy of the Shah.

Hail Andhaira, Lord of the Goats!

 

[Calego]

Divide and conquer! Strike off the arms of Vishnu!

Superstar might've fared better had he broken the bank for some artillery. Ah well.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Or if Faggot had edited the save manually instead. I would have loved to see a fight against a monstrous demigod general.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Now thats an interesting bug, never seen that in MM.

Any way I like the new siege victory message.

 

[Hellraiser]

I see pirates spawn all the time in sectors without ships in MM. It gets particularly annoying when you colonize Australia and all the Asian islands that need to be discovered where the AI doesn't send ships. You need to leave one ship present in the damn harbor to stop those fuckers from spawning and blockading your shit. It pissed me off to no end when I had a colonial Japanese Empire.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

I modded the blockade tech back to the tech level that reduces naval attrition. That way by the time you hit that naval tech, you should have a navy capable of fighting off the butt pirate horde. MM already has a system for piracy. The reason they spawned there is because of Portugal I think.

I'd have manually modded the save Vaar, if the save files didn't contain more text than every dialogue in PST put together.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Ctrl+F with the name you search for.

Or you could have made a wish to a Djinn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjwtn59ZQQQ&feature=related

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

From pigshit to horseshit, my administration has improved greatly.

It would appear that the Gondwanans are typing to capitalise on the Shah's magnificent triumph over the Superstar. May the Djinn curse their treachery with incontinence. It's doubtful the Gondwanans will be able to fill the void the Kingdom of Vinegar has left, now that the Superstar is but a mere Raja, however the Shah desires Bihar, and such a wealthy city must not be allowed to remain in Hindu hands.

The Buddhist (religion of peace?) Kingdom of Burma, which has grown into a fairly substantial power through Indochina, has declared war on the Kingdom of Deva Bengal. The Shah will not tolerate interlopers. India is a rightful Andhairavid domain, and if these Buddhists encroach on the Shah's birthright, they will be dealt with swiftly.

A nationalist revolt has taken place in the city of Bihar, the rebels demanding the creation of a new Bihari state. This has clearly demonstrated that the Gondwanans have no right to the city, on grounds of severe incompetence. The Shah will relieve them of their burden.

Amidst signs of :incline in the Andhairavid Empire, the Vidyanegroes are sliding into a severe after the short lived glory days of the Superstar. His anal power sapped to near nothing by his time in the royal goat-pits, Rajini Kanth finally passes into legend, his life spent. He has died a broken man, a shell of the glorious warrior he once was. Goat-eater or no, his was a tragic story.

To the west, the Uzbeks and Turkomans are continuing their age old struggle. The Transoxianans seem to have the upper hand, consistently capturing the Turkoman held Uzbek territories in every war. The Khan of Samarkand has failed to penetrate into Persia however, and no clear victor has emerged from the recent bloody struggles between the two Khanates.

What's this? Sikhs are being persecuted?

Thousands of Sikhs, mostly Pashtuns, flee the rampant intolerance of the Transoxianans. (You can tell because of the relations hit at the bottom of the event effects) As of now the Shah is content to give these brothers and sisters safe haven in the Empire, but this cannot stand for long. The large Pashtun Sikh population in the provinces of Kandahar, Ghazni and Kabulistan have given Andhaira ample reason to invade the Uzbek subhumans, should such an opportunity arise.

Meanwhile, the Empire is reveling in the latest pretentious court intellectual. It is not a bad thing to be a patron of the arts, although the Shah is not entirely sure why he's paying this fellow so much just to sit around and have affairs with the court goats.

The Raja of Gondwana has reclaimed the province of Bastar, a former province of the greater Gondwanan Kingdom of the 16th and 17th centuries. Good for them, but their is still the matter of Bihar to be settled.

It would appear matters have sorted themselves out. The Gondwanan Raja, his forces weary from the campaign against the Vidyanegroes, has been forced to grant independence to the city of Bihar. Naturally the Shah takes advantage of this by immediately moving the Gujarati Horde, which for now is stationed in the Ganges Delta, to capture the city.

Yeah yeah, go gag on a Djinn's magical love-baton you ungrateful heathens.

But alas, the Shah would not live to see Bihar added to his domains. After a life of bloody campaigns and glorious conquest, Andhaira VIII has gone to join his fathers in the Halls of Inanity. His third son, Andhaira IX has ascended. He is a charismatic yet aggressive young man, far more suited to life on the march and court politics than the administration of a state. He will undoubtedly bring the Bihar question to a swift conclusion, but after that his skills on the battlefield will probably count for little, except in the maintainance of order in the provinces.. The Empire is in no condition for a major war of any sorts, Bihar is simply an Imperial venture for profit.

The conquest of Bihar hardly needs to be noted as a triumph. Even with the sudden death of Andhaira VIII victory was never really in doubt. (This is my excuse for derping and forgetting to get a screenshot of the annexation and the political map) Still, it is an important conquest. Bihar is a cosmopolitan trading hub, like Baroda but situated on a far wealthier agricultural hinterland. Goods from China, Indochina, the rest of the Subcontinent, the Middle East and elsewhere all pass through here. Along with Baroda, Delhi, Maharashtra and Khandesh, it is now an Andhairavid treasure. With both Baroda and Bihar secured, Andhaira IX now has a stranglehold on all trade passing through Northern India.

 

[Calego]

The Empire looks like a killer whale.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

I'm guessing the recently improved AE will once more go down the gutter.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Well, temporarily, but recent events have made me suspect that infamy actually reduces your Administrative Efficiency.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

wat

That makes no goddamn sense. Then again, such is the way of things in MM.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Well, infamy represents foreign relations. If your infamy is high, then everyone hates you and wants to ritually sodomise you. Trade will therefore suffer heavily, you'll get lots of rowdy nationalist, religious or other groups raising trouble, and foreign powers will be trying to bring you down. Those three things are enough to make administration more difficult, I'd think.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Actually, the whole thing is that it would only make your foreign relations difficult, since the common folk inside the nation lack such things as free press and internet, thus knowing jack shit about what others think of the country. In short, it's just bullshit.

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

I just looked through the MM manual, and I found no mention of infamy in AE. I think what might be happening is that your prestige is higher because you fought a war recently. Since your AE takes a few months or weeks to register, your first increases might have been due to battle prestige, and the later increases might have been from the treaty prestige. After a bit of no fighting, your prestige naturally degenerates and you drop down a few levels. I think the effects are so pronounced because you have an earlier level of government, so your administrative capacity is lower. I could be wrong, though.

I love your LP's btw. They are so much better than most of the crap on the Paradox website.

Andhaira is Love!

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

War exhaustion does effect AE I believe, and since you usually get infamy and WE at pretty much the same time it might be hard to tell the effects appart.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

I just looked through the MM manual, and I found no mention of infamy in AE. I think what might be happening is that your prestige is higher because you fought a war recently. Since your AE takes a few months or weeks to register, your first increases might have been due to battle prestige, and the later increases might have been from the treaty prestige. After a bit of no fighting, your prestige naturally degenerates and you drop down a few levels. I think the effects are so pronounced because you have an earlier level of government, so your administrative capacity is lower. I could be wrong, though.

I love your LP's btw. They are so much better than most of the crap on the Paradox website.

Andhaira is Love!

Prestige affects AE then? That makes Patron of the Arts and Cabinet significantly more valuable. I have noticed an increase in AE when I let my infamy go down, so I think it might be a mix of both prestige and infamy.


Edit: Also, the manual was written for MMP I think, not MMU. There are some differences besides added HTTT features, so infamy might affect AE in MMU even if it doesn't in MMP.

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

Actually, I am wrong about the infamy thing after all.

From the MMU Manual:

Additional Burdens
If your country has high war exhaustion, but a ruler with a low military rating
(MIL); or if it has a bad reputation, but a ruler with a low diplomatic ranking
(DIP), your country’s administration has to work overtime to compensate for
these shortcomings.
For each point of military rating, your country can absorb two points of war
exhaustion. If it goes beyond that, each point of war exhaustion adds one point
of administrative need.
For each point of diplomatic
rating, your country can
absorb 10% of maximum
allowable reputation
(“badboy”). For each 10% of
reputation beyond that, two
points of administrative need
are added.
Finally, if your country has a
parliament (a Constitutional
Monarchy or Republic, or
Revolutionary Republic), a
conflict with Parliament will
increase your administrative needs by 0.2 per province. Dissolving Parliament will
add 0.5 per province.

So not only does your prestige increase your administrative capacity, but also a combination of your leader stats and infamy/WE increases your need.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Ah, that would explain why my administration keeps inexplicably going down the shitter. Diplomatic and military skill have an indirect effect on AE, then.

 

[LusciousPear]