Let's Play Pokemon Emerald!

[Andyman Messiah]

What on earth am I supposed to do with Mudkip?

the conventional wisdom is that you're supposed to really really like him/it

Oh hell no. That's Bubbles job! Hey Bubbles! Take a long hard look at that abomination you're going to carry around for the next few months!

I hate you, God, but I will care for Mudkip and bring him up to be the best little Mudkip ever! Oh yes I will!

I swear I'm going to throttle him in his sleep before he's even reached the first evolutionary stage.

 

[psycojester]

I'm in two minds, on the one hand petty sadism would be enjoyable which is making me lean towards mudflip. Yet on the other how can you turn down anything as bad arse as DOOM COCK!

 

[RK47]

fuck pokemons.

bring on the pedomons

 

[Sovy Kurosei]

I vote for the mudkip.

 

[Cassidy]

Bring the Bethesdamons! "BEST GAEM EVAR!!!!!1111"

I vote for the mudcrab.

 

[spacemoose]

the S&M horse reminds me of ren and stimpy

 

[Suicidal]

Another vote for mudkip. (your alignment has shifted by 5 points towards evil)

 

[Walkin' Dude]

I don't like mudkips.

 

[spacemoose]

walking dude, you're treading on thin ice

 

[Walkin' Dude]

holy shit. u cannot b sirius

 

[Texas Red]

Locue(Roqua's friend?) your pretty good at this shit. Too bad you picked a boring, awful game, though your pedophilic suggestions make up or it.

:honourblade:

These are good threads. Anyone who will make one about a better, more modern game, yet less known, will automatically win my heart.

 

[kingcomrade]

Don't pick the Mudkip. He's overpowered. You won't have any Fire pokemans for a while so pick the Fire one.
Also, Doom Cock?

 

[Andyman Messiah]

I'm confused. Is it the correct time or not?

Well, it's what I set the time to. 12am seemed good enough. The clock is fairly useless though since I won't be bothering with the day/night-cycle and events. Still, you gotta set the clock or you won't progress any further into the game.

Locue(Roqua's friend?)

That's not *known* to me but I am everyone's friend.

your pretty good at this shit. Too bad you picked a boring, awful game, though your pedophilic suggestions make up or it.

:honourblade:

Thanks. I think.

Anyway, in the next update Bubbles and God will be joined by Mudkip and layeth some smacketh down on racoons, bugs and birds.

Also, Doom Cock?

More like the Herr Starr version. I don't have a picture, though.

Edit: Hey, KC! Bring your friends to this thread and have them vote for Torchic!

 

[kingcomrade]

Just pick Torchic because I said so. Don't pick Mudkip, ffs.

 

[Jasede]

Totally going to dig up some Torchic/Blaziken porn if you do. If you pick Mudkip I can find that girl with the large bosom painted as one instead. It's your choice, soldier.

Edit: Oh god I take it back. You can't imagine the horrors I saw.
Edit 2: Now you can: Oh god.
Edit 3: Have mercy, god. I don't support stuff like this, but goddamnit. Damn you Locue for making me look up Blaziken pictures in the first place. This one does fit the theme of your LP though. NSFW and basically child porn. WTF? I suppose it's safe to link to, though, since I found it on Encyc. Dram. Jesus Christ.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

You're sick and need help, Jasede. Now go murder those elves!

 

[OccupatedVoid]

So i herd u liek mudkipz, Locue?

 

[Lingwe]

Treecko is actually the best one if you want the game to be easy early on but a bit harder later on. You'll be fighting rock type pokemon at the first gym and they have a weakness to grass types. His absorb attack can help against the fighting gym but you'll mostly be using a taillow and wingull to win that match. Grass types are resistant to electric attacks (third gym) so he can be useful there as well.

Mudkip though is strong against the rock and fire gyms, and is immune to the electrical attacks of the electrical gym. So overall you'll have an easier time if you choose mudkip. I still prefer treecko though.

Please don't hate me.

 

[Slylandro]

Go with Torchic because it's the one you want. This thread isn't going to last long if you pick one you're not interested in, anyway.

For god's sakes though, whatever you choose, don't pick the one that becomes the naked iguana thing:

Although I'm sure some of you will come and tell me it looks badass.

 

[psycojester]

If by Badass you mean serial rapist, then yes. It certainly has a very badass facial expression.

 

[Nog Robbin]

At least the game is pretty much all about choice and conseqeunce. Though if I recall correctly whatever pokemon you choose the consequence is that your rival gets the one with an advantage over it - and still generally loses.

If you play the game anything like my daughter does your final party will be something like a level 100+ Blaziken (aka Doom Cock) and a few paltry level creatures that look pretty but probably wouldn't even be strong enough to sweep floors or work in McDonalds.

 

[Cthulhugoat]

Treecko. Make sure it's a she and name her Maria Juana.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

Alright, you dicks!

Welcome back to Let’s Play Pokemon Emerald!

When we last left our heroine Bubbles, she had bonded forces with her best imaginary friend ever, the enigmatic God, and set out on a quest to become a Pokemon Master! She tried to meet her neighbour, that Professor Birch character, so that he could bestow upon her a pokemon of deadly force. But the only characters Bubbles met, aside from me and her mom, of course, were one (out of countless others) creepy old paedophile scientist, Brendan, her masturbating rival and Brendan’s completely pointless mother!

“And of course me! Corey Hart! The dashingly handsome guy who gave you such hits like Sunglasses at Night, Boy in the Box and…”

"What? Who are you?”

“Didn’t you meet me as well?”

“No! No, I’ve never seen you before in my life! Go away!”

“Hey, Hart! Get out of here, bitch! The eighties are that way!”

“… *mumble-grumble* …ungrateful…”

"And don't forget your sunglasses!"

"I shall return!"

“And then Corey Hart threw a smoke bomb and disappeared, leaving behind only a hideous laughter that made the population of Littleroot Town sink to about five.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Shut up! For such are the evils of this man…”

"Asshole..."

“Anywho, time to get on with it! Cue fantastic MS Painted logo please!”

“Oh. Hell. Yeah.”

"That's a cool looking logo, God!"

"Indeed it is, Bubbles. Indeed it is."

"Did you get a haircut?"

"... moving on...”

“You did!”

“Bitch, please! Ahem! Anyway… We were just about to save Professor Birch from a raccoon with our pokemon, the supposedly mega-awesome ultra-cool assrapeingly pimptastic... *sigh* Mudkip... someone please help me..."

"I didn't ask for this!”

“Oh you’re so cute, Mudkip!”

“I damn you! I damn you all!”

"Go Mudki...!"

"Damn, girl! Don't go throwing me around!"

"Oh man, now I have to do it all over again!"

"Alright! Now we're talking about something I can relate to!

"What's that, God?"

"Smiting evildoers of course!"

"It's just a raccoon, God."

"Yes, Bubbles. But eventually it will grow into a

and then humanity is FUCKED!"

"Gee, God. Don't you think you're overreacting?"

"Bubbles? Am I known to overreact?"

"Well..."

"Hey bitches! How about givin' a mudkip some fuckin' orders?!"

"Yeah sure."

Killing stuff in Pokemon - a tutorial
You should see a control panel that looks like this:

"You will always have four commands to choose from. However, in this tutorial battle "RUN" is an exception, making this tutorial battle one of the best battles in the game. You can press "run" all you want and it won't work. This is a good thing because "run" means you "run" away like a sissy. If you ever use "run" you're an idiot."

"Gee, God. I don't want to be an idiot..."

"That's great, Bubbles! Moving on. "BAG" means you stick your hand into your "BAG" and pull out an item. It can be your balls, your seeds, your magic rod, anything you have in your bag!

"Cool!"

"It sure is! "POKEMON" is basically the same as "BAG", only you go into your special Pokemon Selection Bag instead. If Mudkip fails horribly we can send out a better pokemon instead!"

"Hey fuck you!"

"Think of them as extra lives!"

"Awesome!"

"FIGHT" means your pokemon do a move. Any move. It doesn't have to be a move that kicks ass and chews licorice-flavoured lubbers, it can just as much be a move like "growl" instead of a move like "tackle".

"But nobody uses "growl." Right, God?"

"You are correct, Bubbles. "Growl" is for cocksuckers."

"So I guess you're not going to make me forget "growl" anytime soon, huh?"

"Of course we will. We can't be seen with a cocksucking abomination!"

"I fucking hate you, man!"

"Oh yeah, keep pushing it, Flappy!"

"Alright, now let's defeat that raccoon!"

*Ten seconds later*

"The fuck took so long?!"

"That damn raccoon, man! He was everywhere, he was!"

"Don't be like that, God! Flappy did his best!"

"Don't make excuses for him, Bubbles! Ten goddamn seconds to kill a raccoon? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"What?! But he fuckin' used "growl" all the fuckin' time! It messed up my fuckin' tackling attack!"

"Enough with the excuses, Worthless!"

"Umm..."

"YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!"

"Be nice, God! Are you alright, Professor Birch?"

"No problem, dude! I was happy to..."

"Oh, I was talking to Bubbles, little mudkip."

"WHAT?! BUT SHE DIDN'T DO ANY..."

"Stow it, Worthless! The Pokemon Professor *knows* who did the real work here."

"Come, Bubbles! Let's talk in my lab! We have much to discuss!"

"Okay!"

And so ends another fascinating update in the tales of Bubbles - Pokemon Master and her friends God and Flappy "Worthless" Mudkip! See you next time!

 

[Nog Robbin]

Top work - keeps getting better.
Shame about the mudkip though. Might has well have called him "wanky" rather than flappy - but flappy seems happily derogatory so I'll let it pass...
Hard to imagine bubbles let a chance pass to get Doom Cock though. Is she a lezzer?

 

[Cthulhugoat]

so i herd u liek mudkip