RK47
collides like two planets pulled by gravity
That is a collection of hentai novels I downloaded like mad over the weekend to kill time. I got banned from the site for 24 hour due to overzealous torrent whoring.
If you must know, it was the Mon-Han (Monster Hunter) ero series illustrated by the 'Udon-Ya' circle.
I like the art, but the porn direction is a little EXTREME. But I totally dig the MMO inside jokes. There's this chapter about one guy who had a best friend. They both mined every day for a rare gem or something. Then one day his best friend got what he wanted, a rare skill gem. To celebrate, both agreed to meet up for hunts for the very first time. After some waiting and switching into hunting gear, it turns out the best friend is a rather beautiful girl wearing an Ultima Online classic skull helmet when she's mining.
Thanks for the bump, guys!
Descending the cliff like Tom Cruise sans the safety cables, Shepard comes across a worn-looking cabin.
Anybody home?
Moving closer, Shepard comes across an old lady sitting outside the cabin.
Nice place. But don't you think it's kind of dangerous to live alone in this forest?
Yeah, sure you are...mind if I enter?
The woman frowned, but offered no reply.
Hmmm. Locked.
A little jimmying with the locks later, Shepard is in the old lady's basement.
Now, how would an old woman survive in the forest for so long?
Magic! Of course!
A quick search in the basement reveals some rare reagents and enchanting tools.
I'm sure she won't mind if I borrow these...
Right, time to axe her some questions...
Shepard climbs up the ladder and made it out of the cabin. Only to be greeted by a blast of hot air.
Stand still, lady. I'm just going to axe you once...
Chop. And down goes the witch.
One less wicked old lady in this world.
Trudging a few minutes later, Shepard retrieves his faithful steed.
Sorry I took a while, Normandy.
Let's go.
It's night when he returned to Riverwood.
But Lucan's shop is still open, with a quirky change in his furniture arrangement.
Uhh....what happened to your display counter, Lucan? Wait, don't answer that. Here's the claw.
Oh, wow! You did it, Shepard! And the bandits?
Dead.
Ha ha ha. There it is. Strange...it seems smaller than I remember. Funny thing, huh?
I don't do comedy, Lucan. Now cough up the cash.
Yeah, sure. Here you go. I'm going to put this back where it belongs. I'll never forget this. You've done a great thing for me and my sister.
Well, I hope you're not thinking of placing it on your invisible...
Thunk!
...counter. Fuck it. I'm out of here. Have a nice day, Lucan. Send your sis my regards.
Shepard retires to the inn till morning. Once the sun rises, he spends some of his wealth on some ranged upgrades.
All finished, it's time for his triumphant return to Whiterun.
I hope this is the last of the inane tasks I gotta do.
Hours passed...
Feeling rich, Shepard splurge further coins on cool upgrades.
Finally, a new necklace around his neck, he report back to Aela, who seems a little bored of waiting.
The wolf is dead.
A small amount of coins changed hands.
A hundred? Man, I could've made more from killing three bandits on the streets. Whatever, I'm going to find Vilkas. Maybe he's got better things for me. Hey, Vilkas!
Mmm. OK.
You wanted to see me?
Yes. I have something a little different planned this time.
As long it's not punching girl on the face, or pest hunting, I'm all ears.
It's not for everyone to hear. Meet me in the Underforge tonight.
Where is this Underforge?
I forget that you've never seen it. Beneath the Skyforge, where Eorlund works. Find me there tonight, and we'll talk more.
Cryptic. Fine. I'll see you tonight.
Later...
So.....dragons?
Shepard rode Normandy alongside the guards and stops his steed as the ruined tower comes into view.
Damn..
Minutes earlier at Dragonsreach, Whiterun...
Perhaps dating to just after the Dragon War. If so, I could use this to cross-reference the names with other later texts.
Good. I'm glad you're making progress. My employers are anxious to have some tangible answers.
Oh, have no fear. The Jarl himself has finally taken an interest, so I'm now able to devote most of my time to this research.
(Hmmm, suspicious. Who is Farengar speaking to?)
Time is running, Farengar, don't forget. This isn't some theoretical question. Dragons have come back.
Yes, yes. Don't worry. Although the chance to see a living dragon up close would be tremendously valuable...
(What are they trying to find out?)
Now, let me show you something else I found..very intriguing...I think your employers may be interested as well...
(Well?)
Hmm? Ah, yes, the Jarl's protege! Back from Bleak Falls Barrow? You didn't die, it seems.
(Damn!)
I got you the stone. What next?
That is where your job ends and mine begins. The work of the mind, sadly undervalued in-
Who is this?
My...associate here discovered the location, by means she has so far declined to share with me.
I see.
You went into Bleak Falls Barrow and got that? Nice work.
And you are?
Farengar!
Say what?
You should come, too.
Damn.
What did it do? Is it attacking the watchtower?
No, my lord. It was just circling overhead when I left. I never ran so fast in my life. I thought it would come after me for sure.
Good work, son. We'll take it from here. Head down to the barracks for some food and rest. You've earned it. Irileth!
Sire?
You'd better gather some guardsmen and get down there.
I've already ordered my men to muster near the main gate.
Good. Don't fail me.
Right. So...you want me?
Yes. There's no time to stand on ceremony, my friend. I need your help again.
I assume you want me to assist Irileth?
Yes, you survived Helgen, so you have more experience with dragons than anyone else here.
Your majesty, I-
I haven't forgotten the service you did for me in retreiving the Dragonstone for Farengar. As a token of my esteem, I've instructed Avenicci that you are now permitted to purchase property in this city.
Assuming I survive to take advantage of that offer, of course.
Hm. And please accept this gift from my personal armory.
The Jarl hands Shepard a pair of magical iron gauntlets. He insists that the enchantment will improve Shepard's battleaxe prowess as well as other two handed weapons. Shepard dons it immediately.
Thank you, Jarl Balgruuf. If there is nothing else...
I should come along. I would very much like to-
No. I can't afford to risk both of you. I need you here working on ways to defend the city against these dragons.
As you command.
One last thing, Irileth. This isn't a death or glory mission. I need to know what we're dealing with.
Don't worry, my lord. I'm the very soul of caution. Shepard, I'll see you at the watchtower as soon as the rest of the men have gathered.
Understood.
Shepard takes off his steel gauntlets and dons the Jarl's gift. Feeling his grip tighten as he closed his palm into fists. Satisfied, he exhaled a long breath of anticipation as he opens his palm wide to form a claw.
This is going to be good.
The Present.
Spread out and look for survivors. We need to know what we're dealing with.
The soldiers look unsure, Shepard draws his battle axe and take point.
Anyone still alive?
To his surprise, a human form greeted him from inside.
Guardsman! What happened here? Where's this dragon? Quickly now!
Irileth, maybe it's gone, just like-
A loud whoosh in the air stopped Shepard in mid sentence.
Never mind.
Kyraneth save us, here he comes again...
Music: Dragon Fight
Fuck, my axe's useless.
Shepard draws his orcish bow and look up.
Not sure if that's the same as the one in Helgen....hell. Doesn't matter.
The dragon circles around the tower, assessing the threat before picking its target.
I'm heading upstairs! Keep it busy!
Ha! Eat this!
Shepard plugged several arrows as the dragon unleashes its fury on the ground, it howls in fury as arrows rained on its back. Suddenly, it takes flight!
Damn.
Shepard lets loose another arrow at the darting form, it barely grazed the dragon's majestic wings as it soared past.
Here it comes again...
On the job training, motherfucker.
Say cheese!
Fuck.
Blinded and burned, Shepard retreats down the stairs and applied some healing salve.
As the flaming onslaught ceased, Shepard ascends once more !
The dragon, tagged by over a dozen arrows by now, showed signs of exhaustion and landed on the ground. Shepard draws his axe as he descends the watch tower.
Ready or not, here I come!
Out of the way!
The wounded beast turns towards Shepard and spat out words at its assaulter.
Welcome to earth!
Fuuuuuuuck.
Ignoring the blast of flame, Shepard felt the ground melted below him, his steps planting him deeper and deeper into the ground, but his axe is raised way high, ready to dish out the pain as he grew closer.
Up yours!
Say AHHHHHHH!
With a mightly THOOM! The dragon's bloodied head collides with the axe, giving it a severe concussion. The beast's majestic form no longer stands tall, its head planted firmly onto the ground, neck's unresponsive as a morning hangover. Eyes wide in shock and fear.
Hurts like a bitch, huh? Time to say good bye!
Shepard raises his axe again for the final strike!
A loud roar escapes the dragon's jaws as the blow landed. Shepard swore he could understand bits and pieces of the roar....but quickly dismissed it as the battle adrenaline.
The roaring finally stopped. The form is still.
Dovahkin?
Suddenly, the beasts lifeless form caught fire!
The fuck?
Shepard watches in fascination as the dragon's flesh caught fire...and leaving nothing but bones behind in its white hot afterglow.
Finally, ray of lights travelled from the bones into Shepard...engulfing him in a reddish bloom. Once it was done, no trace of flesh nor scale remained on the dragon. Just bones.
If you must know, it was the Mon-Han (Monster Hunter) ero series illustrated by the 'Udon-Ya' circle.
I like the art, but the porn direction is a little EXTREME. But I totally dig the MMO inside jokes. There's this chapter about one guy who had a best friend. They both mined every day for a rare gem or something. Then one day his best friend got what he wanted, a rare skill gem. To celebrate, both agreed to meet up for hunts for the very first time. After some waiting and switching into hunting gear, it turns out the best friend is a rather beautiful girl wearing an Ultima Online classic skull helmet when she's mining.
Thanks for the bump, guys!
Descending the cliff like Tom Cruise sans the safety cables, Shepard comes across a worn-looking cabin.
Moving closer, Shepard comes across an old lady sitting outside the cabin.
The woman frowned, but offered no reply.
A little jimmying with the locks later, Shepard is in the old lady's basement.
A quick search in the basement reveals some rare reagents and enchanting tools.
Shepard climbs up the ladder and made it out of the cabin. Only to be greeted by a blast of hot air.
Chop. And down goes the witch.
Trudging a few minutes later, Shepard retrieves his faithful steed.
It's night when he returned to Riverwood.
But Lucan's shop is still open, with a quirky change in his furniture arrangement.
Thunk!
Shepard retires to the inn till morning. Once the sun rises, he spends some of his wealth on some ranged upgrades.
All finished, it's time for his triumphant return to Whiterun.
Hours passed...
Feeling rich, Shepard splurge further coins on cool upgrades.
Finally, a new necklace around his neck, he report back to Aela, who seems a little bored of waiting.
A small amount of coins changed hands.
Later...
Shepard rode Normandy alongside the guards and stops his steed as the ruined tower comes into view.
Minutes earlier at Dragonsreach, Whiterun...
The Jarl hands Shepard a pair of magical iron gauntlets. He insists that the enchantment will improve Shepard's battleaxe prowess as well as other two handed weapons. Shepard dons it immediately.
Shepard takes off his steel gauntlets and dons the Jarl's gift. Feeling his grip tighten as he closed his palm into fists. Satisfied, he exhaled a long breath of anticipation as he opens his palm wide to form a claw.
The Present.
The soldiers look unsure, Shepard draws his battle axe and take point.
To his surprise, a human form greeted him from inside.
A loud whoosh in the air stopped Shepard in mid sentence.
Music: Dragon Fight
Shepard draws his orcish bow and look up.
The dragon circles around the tower, assessing the threat before picking its target.
Shepard plugged several arrows as the dragon unleashes its fury on the ground, it howls in fury as arrows rained on its back. Suddenly, it takes flight!
Shepard lets loose another arrow at the darting form, it barely grazed the dragon's majestic wings as it soared past.
Blinded and burned, Shepard retreats down the stairs and applied some healing salve.
As the flaming onslaught ceased, Shepard ascends once more !
The dragon, tagged by over a dozen arrows by now, showed signs of exhaustion and landed on the ground. Shepard draws his axe as he descends the watch tower.
The wounded beast turns towards Shepard and spat out words at its assaulter.
Ignoring the blast of flame, Shepard felt the ground melted below him, his steps planting him deeper and deeper into the ground, but his axe is raised way high, ready to dish out the pain as he grew closer.
With a mightly THOOM! The dragon's bloodied head collides with the axe, giving it a severe concussion. The beast's majestic form no longer stands tall, its head planted firmly onto the ground, neck's unresponsive as a morning hangover. Eyes wide in shock and fear.
Shepard raises his axe again for the final strike!
A loud roar escapes the dragon's jaws as the blow landed. Shepard swore he could understand bits and pieces of the roar....but quickly dismissed it as the battle adrenaline.
The roaring finally stopped. The form is still.
Suddenly, the beasts lifeless form caught fire!
Shepard watches in fascination as the dragon's flesh caught fire...and leaving nothing but bones behind in its white hot afterglow.
Finally, ray of lights travelled from the bones into Shepard...engulfing him in a reddish bloom. Once it was done, no trace of flesh nor scale remained on the dragon. Just bones.