Part 4: In which we explore a Britain the size of Paws, meet Lord British, finally learn some spells, and take to the skies!
When left off last, we were heading north to Britain!
There's actually more distance between Paws and Britain than between Trinsic and Paws, despite Paws and Britain essentially being part of the same town in the PC version:
So clearly, the SNES version is a massive improvement.
Between Paws and Britain we find a house with a collection of trees and sheep, and most importantly, a sign challenging us:
No one tells the Avatar what to do!
Inside the house, we encounter Figg:
Clearly the sign was just for show. In the SNES version, I remember the Orchard was just outside LB's castle, but this remake has proven that it is not bound by the shackles of its predeccesor. If it wants to needlessly re-arrange the basic layout of the map, you'll fucking like it. I guess I just should be happy Britain isn't
south of Trinsic, or some shit.
He has nothing of interest to add, for now. After looting the chest in his house with no NPC reaction or consequence of any kind, we continue north, to what is apparently supposed to be Britain:
Apparently the SNES doesn't have the memory for "paved roads", so Britain looks to be on the same economic level as Paws. Obviously a deep commentary on Britannian society.
First, we visit the Wayfarer's Inn, a staple of the Ultima universe...
...with the exact same layout as the Inn in Paws. And one less NPC. So, no one. Awesome.
Speaking of Ultima staples:
Fuck yeah! I'm sure Iolo would have something to add here, if he wasn't still in Trinsic, wandering around in circles outside the "kidnapping" scene.
I go ahead and pick myself up a ranged weapon, even though it costs almost all of my gold.
I've already proven that money is meaningless and the economy is completely broken, so I can always make more. Besides, most of the enemies have ranged attacks, so I can finally even the odds.
Equipping the bow takes two hands, so I can't equip my magic healing bracelet while using it.
However, as in all the best action RPGs, there is no ammo to worry about, so it all balances out.
I explore his basement and kill...whatever these things are...with ease.
Besides another of those Evil Demon Doors that the people of Britannia seem so laid-back about, there's also a piece of leather armor in the crate, as well as a hammer and some gold in the next room.
The hammer and the armor sell for about 55 gold, which means each run to the basement nets me 65 gold.
I'm feeling lazy, so I only do this a few times. I'm sure there's a better place to exploit, anyway. Good to know this is here if I need it, though.
Now the third Ulima Staple of Britain - the Blue Boar tavern!
This place is clearly the center of Britannian activity, since it actually has an NPC, unlike the Inn and the Provisioner.
Is Shamino even in this game? It's not like he could join me anyway, so what's the point? Also, this little snippet reveals yet-another annoying thing about this version of Ultima VII - everyone knows you're the Avatar and
no one questions it. In the PC version, people would often ask your name, and if you said you were the Avatar, they often called you a liar. Here, you may as well have it branded on your forehead. Stupid Unnecessary Change #537.
On mention of Shamino...
Yeah, I'm sure he'll be just as helpful as Iolo.
On mention of the Fellowship...
No, totally
not a cult at all. And yes, since Iolo told me to ask everyone about the Fellowship, I can literally ask
everyone in the game about the Fellowship.
The courthouse across the street is empty, but the random building next to it is not:
Preeeeeeeetty sure I don't remember a "jail" the size of a cottage with underground cells from the PC version.
All over Britannia, in this tiny fucking cottage?
Really? What happened to Yew being the City of Justice and housing the great Court and oh fuck it why do I even ask anymore. Time to go down the ladder and see this "prison".
I am attacked by snakes as I enter, of course. Every basement in Britannia needs snakes. I guess this is innovative - after all, at least it's not rats.
?
A switch on the wall opens the door to the cells.
INTERACTIVITY!!!! Guess I should just be glad I didn't have to use another skeleton key.
I open the cell and speak to the prisoner inside.
I like how his profile shows him behind bars, even though you
can't talk to him through the bars.
He whines about how he stole apples from the orchard because his family was starving. I think he misunderstands the world "unjustly", but whatever.
I remember this is actually a quest from the PC version, so another slight
. I accept, not because I necessarily agree with his cause, but because it's a sidequest in an action RPG and that's just what you do.
The other cell is empty, except for this vampire-bat thing on the wall, which nearly kills me in three hits.
Fuck I need some better armor or something.
I open a door with a ladder behind it, and am accosted by...three headless? Were they like, imprisoned here too? What do you even charge a creature with no head with?
My new bow makes short work of them. The note on the wall next to the ladder reads:
Ah, so
that's where the headlesses came from. Good thing they never broke through the door, I guess. I was actually sort of hoping there'd be more to the prison, since apparently the high-security underground prison for "all the criminals in Britannia" consists of
two cells, and "all of the criminals" consist of one poor hungry fuck who stole apples for his family.
...I really hate this fucking game.
I don't feel like a dungeon crawl right now, so I head back out. On the way, I mention Weston's Tale to the "warden", if you can even call guarding one prisoner and some snakes a "warden".
Quest solved? Guess we'll see.
Time to explore more:
Woo boat! I am both fascinated and terrified to see how they implemented boats in the SNES version. Will I actually get to sail, or just instantly teleport around the world?
Guess I won't find out today, because that's a fuckload of gold and while I could just exploit the endlessly-respawning-crap feature, I don't feel like it right now, and don't really need a boat at the moment anyway. The fact he calls it a "magic" boat doesn't bode well, though.
North of him is a house, and inside:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ask about "Eliza" and Abraham:
Damnit. I ask about membership...
Gasp, a choice! I turn him down, for now.
I find another provisioner shop, this one with an actual employee:
He has a couple of new weapons, a "Wind Sword" (whatever the fuck that is) and a Spear, but they cost too much for me to bother right now. There's also an Evil Demon Door right in his shop. Subtle.
More exploring. I meet the mayor...
...who is black, just like in the PC version! He spends the entire conversation verbally masturbating about the Fellowship, and apparently the Avatar can't think of anything more interesting to ask the mayor of the capital city of Britannia.
Interesting fact: after speaking with him, he left his house and I followed him, and he walked all the way to - and entered - the town hall. So, apparently NPCs
do have some form of scheduling system in this game - or at least
some of them do.
A sign in at the north end of town shows me which direction to go to get to various towns:
I'm actually a little surprised they're all
in the game.
One more important landmark!
Yup, that's the castle of Lord British. Apparently. Downside: no drawbridge. Upside: no random sea monsters in the moat.
Inside the castle!
I suppose should mention that entering the castle is literally the
first time the music has changed, besides the random bursts of combat music whenever the game starts to have a seizure. Other than that, I've always been listening to one of two musical themes: outside and inside. While it is a pretty terrible rendition of the Lord British theme, it's still a welcome change.
The man himself!
I imagine, considering you can't seem to get shit done yourself.
Someone actually bothered to tell the
King of Britannia about
kidnappings? And you're going to send the Champion of the People, Savior of Britannia to...investigate them? Alright then.
Spells! Finally.
I hope they aren't building up to some reveal about Batlin being from another world. That would make me sad.
Alright, let's conclude this update by exploring the castle and playing with spells.
GAH DEMON!!
Surprisingly, they didn't dumb down Gargoyle Speak for this game.
Another quest. Again, I'm pretty sure this one was actually in the PC version.
Gasp, a Demon Door! Right in the middle of the castle!
Time to see if my theory about them being Magically Locked is right.
I guess now is a time for a brief look at how spells work in this game. First, I open the inventory and "use" the spellbook:
This appears to be all the spells in the game. I guess there are no reagants, either. My theory is that gaining levels will unlock the "disabled" spells. You select spells by pressing the L or R button on them, so you can only have two spells "active" at one time. I am sure that won't get annoying at all.
I guess we'll try both "Unlock Door" and "Unlock Magic".
Damn, "Unlock Door" does nothing. I guess that'sy locked doors in case you somehow manage to run out of skull keys, or something.
Let's try "Unlock Magic" now...
Success! It "cost" four "ankhs" (God I feel stupider just typing that), but the door is open! Behind is a ladder - I guess even Castle Britannia isn't safe from the plague of basements.
Beneath are two more magically-locked doors, spiders...
...skeletons...
...and some new armor called "scale armor".
I have no way of telling if it's better than leather, but I imagine it
has to be. The only well to determine the effectiveness of armor and weapons seems to be to find out how much a vendor will buy it for. Classy.
There's another ladder down to the sewers, but I'm still not up for a dungeon crawl quite yet.
I return to the castle, only to find the door I came through is re-locked, meaning I get to sit and wait for my "ankhs" to recharge. Truly a very Ultima-experience.
Finally, our tour of the castle comes to an end as we start a conversation with Chuckles...
Ah yes, "The Game". Something else I remember from the PC version. Basically, I can only reply in one-syllable words or I "lose" and the conversation immediately ends.
So I quickly "win"...
...
Sigh.
I reply "No". I'm still not sure at this point if I'm reading the scroll, or if it's actually talking to me. I also don't really give a fuck, honestly.
Finally we get...
Wow...so...how does Chuckles even...nevermind. Whatever you say, game. I've learned not to question you anymore, and just roll with it.
I take my leave from the castle and stop by Iolo's Bows to sell a bunch of crap I looted from the King of Britannia. In the process, I discover that shopkeepers do, in fact, have a limit on how much they'll buy from you:
However, once I leave the merchant window and re-enter it, a few of the merchant's slots are free again. So, it doesn't fix the broken economy - it just makes it more annoying to sell a lot of things at once.
So, I guess we'll conclude this update by playing with a few of our newly-learned spells. Again, here's the list of what I know so far:
The first spell, "Location", brings up this map of Britannia, which to its credit, is way more accurate than the Ultima IX map:
It appears to use no ankhs.
Also using no ankhs is "Kal Lor" (the Help spell, I believe), which teleports me back to Lord British...
...at the cost of an entire character level:
So I load my game and decide we'll never be using
that spell again.
"Illumination" and "Healing" do exactly what you might expect. "Ring of Fire" makes pretty colors:
Pretty worthless as far as I can tell.
"Lifting" appears to make small (inanimate) objects hover:
Will be interesting to see if it's just cosmetic or actually serves a useful purpose at some point.
"Explosion" creates a small explosion directly in front of me.
It's basically a slow melee attack that costs 3 ankhs. No thanks.
We already know "Unlock Door" opens randomly locked doors in case you somehow run out of skull keys even though they're
fucking everywhere, and Unlock Magic opens the creepy demon-head doors.
So, finally, we have "Levitation." "Levitation" is...well, let's face, the most
awesome fucking thing in this entire game.
Hell. Yes. The Avatar is now the Dalai-Fucking-Llama.
One of the spells I'll unlock in the future is "Water Walk". So, obviously:
+
+
=
Also, mods: I would like to officially request "Floating Avatar" as a new forum profile pic. Make it happen.
I can even fly over buildings!
Who needs a fucking magic carpet?!?
Unfortunately, you cannot levitate over deep water, only shallow water. I guess that's what "Water Walk" is for. However, while normally the duration of Levitate is limited to 10 or 15 seconds, you seem to have unlimited time to hover over water, probably because the game designers didn't know what to do if your timer expired and you weren't over a patch of land:
Awesome. Best Ultima game
ever.
So, on that uplifting note (
get it?!?), we end Part 4. Next time: we do some dungeon crawling, join the Fellowship, and head for Cove!