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[LP CYOA] Spiral
- Thread starter treave
- Start date
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- Jul 6, 2008
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track: discolor
She is right. There is no escape, not for the both of you. But if it was just one person… they might still succeed. You can barely feel your toes and fingers any more; a deep numbness has set in. You are bleeding out, slowly dying, so before then…
“That’s right,” you nod, muttering to yourself. You turn around to face the encroaching abyss; it is almost upon you. All you can hear are the sibilant whispers of the dead, all you can see are their lifeless eyes sunken deep in distorted faces. Maeda’s warmth rests gently on your skin… it is the only living sensation you can feel. Fighting your reluctance to hold on, to keep her with you if only as a dwindling flame to struggle vainly against the shadow, you finally let go.
“Shinoseki…” You can hear the relief in Maeda’s voice, but you are not going to do what she asks. You are not another of her servants. You will do what you have chosen to do, and you shove her away from you, towards the light.
At the same time, the abyss shrieks, a million voices crying out in concert. It descends upon you. Icy-cold fingers sprouting from the ends of countless arms twine themselves around your blood-stained clothes, scrabbling at your skin. They harden in a vise-like grip, and you are gradually pulled into the mass of bodies by their inexorable force. You sink into the wriggling sea of the dead. The writhing souls claw at your flesh, tearing your skin and spilling your blood in search of the warmth of life. Fingers… hands… there is no way to count the innumerable, cold limbs imprisoning you in this hell. Will you be torn apart slowly, or will you suffocate first, once your head is fully submerged?
It’s okay, though. It’ll be fine. She’ll make it out, so it’ll be fine.
Another hand closes around your exposed fingers, and pulls. It is a firm and warm grip, resolute in its determination.
Having been pulled partially away from the abyss, you look up, fearing what you will see.
Maeda. It’s Maeda.
What is she still doing here?
“No… not again…” she mutters, a frenzied look gleaming in her teary eyes. The strong façade has been thoroughly torn down and destroyed: her face is filled with a frantic, fearful desperation. As she is now, she seems so fragile… so brittle that she could shatter at any moment, leagues distant from the headstrong lady you met just hours before. You wonder, numbly, why she is trying so hard to save you, but only for a moment.
That’s it.
Her eyes aren’t truly seeing you. In you she sees someone… something else. A ghost of her past, perhaps. It could be the person she spoke of, Shinohara Seiji, but whoever it is she thinks she’s saving, it should not be Shinoseki Adachi. She has no reason to save you at her own expense. She is just acting on past trauma… that’s right. That must be it. The thought comforts you little, changes little.
The pressure around your body tightens; the dead are not about to let you leave. You can feel your spine cracking, your ribs bending. You scream out in pain, blood spurting from your mouth.
“M… Maeda-san… It’s enough… if you don’t go now…”
“No! It’s not going to happen like this! I won’t… I won’t let it happen another time!” she screams shrilly, tugging on your arm desperately with both hands. She shakes her head, tears streaming down her cheeks as she continues to repeat the word ‘No’, as if it is a mantra that will miraculously save the both of you.
The sea of the dead trembles. Waves of hatred buffet your body, leaving behind tiny little thorns that dig into your skin.
You have to hurry.
Gritting your teeth, you swing your hand away from Maeda, violently shaking off her grip.
“Why?” Falling back on her behind from your sudden shove, Maeda whispers, raising her empty hands as if in supplication. Her blank eyes staring at you, uncomprehending. Even as the shadow rises up to devour you, the pulsating white light behind her suddenly grows in brilliance once more.
You realize, somehow, that it’ll be alright.
It’s going to be okay.
You speak the words as if from a script that has swum up from the deepest reaches of your fading, disoriented memories, smiling weakly at Nami.
“It’s going to be okay, Na-chan.”
Confusion. Understanding. Realization. That realization breaks something inside her. “Sei-chan! No… No!” She lunges at you wildly, screaming, grabbing your wrist.
You are swallowed by the darkness; she is engulfed by the light.
Then, the light winks out of existence, taking Nami along with it.
And in the next instant, pain.
Pain, unlike any you have felt before. It assails ever fiber of your being.
The dead are being whipped into a ferocious frenzy. Fingers like worms, digging under your skin, into your muscles, piercing your bones. Ripping apart your intestines, slicing up your liver, puncturing your lungs. Clawing out your eyeballs, biting off your ears, tearing out your tongue. Crushing. Stabbing. Slashing. Chewing. Grinding. They gorge on you, using up your life, meagre as it is, transient as it is, as if it can act to appease their own eternal torment even for a second.
As your consciousness winks out, a final thought runs through your mind, clear despite the excruciating pain wracking your ruined body:
At least Na-chan made it out… I can be happy with that…
But…
Ah…
I don’t want to die.
---DEAD END---
She is right. There is no escape, not for the both of you. But if it was just one person… they might still succeed. You can barely feel your toes and fingers any more; a deep numbness has set in. You are bleeding out, slowly dying, so before then…
“That’s right,” you nod, muttering to yourself. You turn around to face the encroaching abyss; it is almost upon you. All you can hear are the sibilant whispers of the dead, all you can see are their lifeless eyes sunken deep in distorted faces. Maeda’s warmth rests gently on your skin… it is the only living sensation you can feel. Fighting your reluctance to hold on, to keep her with you if only as a dwindling flame to struggle vainly against the shadow, you finally let go.
“Shinoseki…” You can hear the relief in Maeda’s voice, but you are not going to do what she asks. You are not another of her servants. You will do what you have chosen to do, and you shove her away from you, towards the light.
At the same time, the abyss shrieks, a million voices crying out in concert. It descends upon you. Icy-cold fingers sprouting from the ends of countless arms twine themselves around your blood-stained clothes, scrabbling at your skin. They harden in a vise-like grip, and you are gradually pulled into the mass of bodies by their inexorable force. You sink into the wriggling sea of the dead. The writhing souls claw at your flesh, tearing your skin and spilling your blood in search of the warmth of life. Fingers… hands… there is no way to count the innumerable, cold limbs imprisoning you in this hell. Will you be torn apart slowly, or will you suffocate first, once your head is fully submerged?
It’s okay, though. It’ll be fine. She’ll make it out, so it’ll be fine.
Another hand closes around your exposed fingers, and pulls. It is a firm and warm grip, resolute in its determination.
Having been pulled partially away from the abyss, you look up, fearing what you will see.
Maeda. It’s Maeda.
What is she still doing here?
“No… not again…” she mutters, a frenzied look gleaming in her teary eyes. The strong façade has been thoroughly torn down and destroyed: her face is filled with a frantic, fearful desperation. As she is now, she seems so fragile… so brittle that she could shatter at any moment, leagues distant from the headstrong lady you met just hours before. You wonder, numbly, why she is trying so hard to save you, but only for a moment.
That’s it.
Her eyes aren’t truly seeing you. In you she sees someone… something else. A ghost of her past, perhaps. It could be the person she spoke of, Shinohara Seiji, but whoever it is she thinks she’s saving, it should not be Shinoseki Adachi. She has no reason to save you at her own expense. She is just acting on past trauma… that’s right. That must be it. The thought comforts you little, changes little.
The pressure around your body tightens; the dead are not about to let you leave. You can feel your spine cracking, your ribs bending. You scream out in pain, blood spurting from your mouth.
“M… Maeda-san… It’s enough… if you don’t go now…”
“No! It’s not going to happen like this! I won’t… I won’t let it happen another time!” she screams shrilly, tugging on your arm desperately with both hands. She shakes her head, tears streaming down her cheeks as she continues to repeat the word ‘No’, as if it is a mantra that will miraculously save the both of you.
The sea of the dead trembles. Waves of hatred buffet your body, leaving behind tiny little thorns that dig into your skin.
You have to hurry.
Gritting your teeth, you swing your hand away from Maeda, violently shaking off her grip.
“Why?” Falling back on her behind from your sudden shove, Maeda whispers, raising her empty hands as if in supplication. Her blank eyes staring at you, uncomprehending. Even as the shadow rises up to devour you, the pulsating white light behind her suddenly grows in brilliance once more.
You realize, somehow, that it’ll be alright.
It’s going to be okay.
You speak the words as if from a script that has swum up from the deepest reaches of your fading, disoriented memories, smiling weakly at Nami.
“It’s going to be okay, Na-chan.”
Confusion. Understanding. Realization. That realization breaks something inside her. “Sei-chan! No… No!” She lunges at you wildly, screaming, grabbing your wrist.
You are swallowed by the darkness; she is engulfed by the light.
Then, the light winks out of existence, taking Nami along with it.
And in the next instant, pain.
Pain, unlike any you have felt before. It assails ever fiber of your being.
The dead are being whipped into a ferocious frenzy. Fingers like worms, digging under your skin, into your muscles, piercing your bones. Ripping apart your intestines, slicing up your liver, puncturing your lungs. Clawing out your eyeballs, biting off your ears, tearing out your tongue. Crushing. Stabbing. Slashing. Chewing. Grinding. They gorge on you, using up your life, meagre as it is, transient as it is, as if it can act to appease their own eternal torment even for a second.
As your consciousness winks out, a final thought runs through your mind, clear despite the excruciating pain wracking your ruined body:
At least Na-chan made it out… I can be happy with that…
But…
Ah…
I don’t want to die.
---DEAD END---
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a bear named spigot
Arcane
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2012
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- 784
fuck that was really good treave, music was fantastic as well
also i thought that was legit end for a few mins until you edited to dead end
also i thought that was legit end for a few mins until you edited to dead end
Nevill
Arcane
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- Jun 6, 2009
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- 11,211
So it is going to be like Zhang's challenge, where the 'Dex does everything but the thing that the plot requires of them.
I can be happy with that.
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Nevill
Arcane
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How can you tell a good choice from bad one if you don't even remotely realize its consequences?
You don't know if Maeda escaping changes anything for us, or for her.
- Joined
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Sky
Maeda Nami opens her eyes. The familiar sight of an Ikei ward swims across her vision.
A horrible nightmare.
That is what it must have been… what else can she call getting trapped in an endless cycle in some twisted facsimile of Ikei Hospital, coming back to life only to die over and over and over again in increasingly gruesome ways? What else would torture her so with a glimpse of Seiji when she thought it was finally all in the past… that she had managed to bury it well enough?
After all, remembering the dead, and not being able to forget the dead… these are different things.
She knows that. She should know that. She should not be obsessed with the latter, and she is sure she is not.
Was not.
Maeda looks down at the hand she is holding. It is not hers – it is cut off at the wrist, with just the merest hint of blood trickling down the ragged edges. She can still feel the warmth in its palm, ebbing but still comforting. In a distant, more logical part of her mind, she recognizes that her first reaction should rightfully be to throw the disembodied hand far away from her. That is how any sane person should react.
The final vision from her dreams comes to her mind, telling her why. She was stretching out, reaching for his hand. She managed to catch it. She succeeded, didn’t she?
Why does he always… always…
An idiot who pops up and saves her, without regard for his own safety. There is no use fretting over such a fool.
That’s right.
Maeda stands up and shakes her head wearily. The atmosphere inside the hospital is stale. She needs some fresh air to think better.
She leaves the ward, stepping over the unmoving bodies that litter the hallway.
She enters the elevator that will bring her up to the top, avoiding the bloody handprints staining the walls of the enclosed metal cage.
She steps out of the elevator, onto the wide roof of the hospital.
The sun is rising in the sky. The dawn paints the clouds a beautiful shade of purple.
She climbs onto the ledge to get a better look at the parking lot below, where there seems to be a commotion going on. There are numerous flashing lights, set atop dozens of vehicles. It looks like the police are here. Men in blue, tiny as ants from this height, begin rushing into the hospital, where they will presumably find the questions they are looking for.
It does not matter to her, not any longer. Breathing in the crisp morning air, a faint smile crosses her face. She knows what she has to do.
She grips the hand tightly. The only part of him that she has left.
That’s enough.
No more.
I won't be left behind again.
You said it would be okay, Sei-chan.
So...
…I’ll see you soon.
Closing her eyes, Maeda walks off the ledge.
---END---
Maeda Nami opens her eyes. The familiar sight of an Ikei ward swims across her vision.
A horrible nightmare.
That is what it must have been… what else can she call getting trapped in an endless cycle in some twisted facsimile of Ikei Hospital, coming back to life only to die over and over and over again in increasingly gruesome ways? What else would torture her so with a glimpse of Seiji when she thought it was finally all in the past… that she had managed to bury it well enough?
After all, remembering the dead, and not being able to forget the dead… these are different things.
She knows that. She should know that. She should not be obsessed with the latter, and she is sure she is not.
Was not.
Maeda looks down at the hand she is holding. It is not hers – it is cut off at the wrist, with just the merest hint of blood trickling down the ragged edges. She can still feel the warmth in its palm, ebbing but still comforting. In a distant, more logical part of her mind, she recognizes that her first reaction should rightfully be to throw the disembodied hand far away from her. That is how any sane person should react.
The final vision from her dreams comes to her mind, telling her why. She was stretching out, reaching for his hand. She managed to catch it. She succeeded, didn’t she?
Why does he always… always…
An idiot who pops up and saves her, without regard for his own safety. There is no use fretting over such a fool.
That’s right.
Maeda stands up and shakes her head wearily. The atmosphere inside the hospital is stale. She needs some fresh air to think better.
She leaves the ward, stepping over the unmoving bodies that litter the hallway.
She enters the elevator that will bring her up to the top, avoiding the bloody handprints staining the walls of the enclosed metal cage.
She steps out of the elevator, onto the wide roof of the hospital.
The sun is rising in the sky. The dawn paints the clouds a beautiful shade of purple.
She climbs onto the ledge to get a better look at the parking lot below, where there seems to be a commotion going on. There are numerous flashing lights, set atop dozens of vehicles. It looks like the police are here. Men in blue, tiny as ants from this height, begin rushing into the hospital, where they will presumably find the questions they are looking for.
It does not matter to her, not any longer. Breathing in the crisp morning air, a faint smile crosses her face. She knows what she has to do.
She grips the hand tightly. The only part of him that she has left.
That’s enough.
No more.
I won't be left behind again.
You said it would be okay, Sei-chan.
So...
…I’ll see you soon.
Closing her eyes, Maeda walks off the ledge.
---END---
Last edited:
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Yeah, there are DEAD ENDs and there are ENDs.
So it is going to be like Zhang's challenge, where the 'Dex does everything but the thing that the plot requires of them.
I can be happy with that.
Yeah, I know how to deal with that.
a bear named spigot
Arcane
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2012
- Messages
- 784
you're killing me
Nevill
Arcane
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2009
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She lost her mind, didn't she? I thought her to be stronger than that. I seriously hoped it would go something like this.
I don't know if it is the case of her being a very fragile snowflake, or the setting being Japan.
I would have expected her to go to the occultists around the world and plunge again into this mess, continuing the cycle. I did not expect her to choose an easier way to reunite with the dead. Guess Maedas really aren't used to working hard for their happiness.
I suppose it really is the case of together forever - we should have escaped both, or not at all.
Still, it would be interesting to know what comes out of it. Was it a glimpse into a 'parallel reality', or does it affect our own?
I don't know if it is the case of her being a very fragile snowflake, or the setting being Japan.
I would have expected her to go to the occultists around the world and plunge again into this mess, continuing the cycle. I did not expect her to choose an easier way to reunite with the dead. Guess Maedas really aren't used to working hard for their happiness.
I suppose it really is the case of together forever - we should have escaped both, or not at all.
Still, it would be interesting to know what comes out of it. Was it a glimpse into a 'parallel reality', or does it affect our own?
A miracle!
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The both of you are torn apart, unsurprisingly. Humans cannot create miracles by themselves.
She lost her mind, didn't she? I thought her to be stronger than that. I seriously hoped it would go something like this.
I don't know if it is the case of her being a very fragile snowflake, or the setting being Japan.
I would have expected her to go to the occultists around the world and plunge again into this mess, continuing the cycle. I did not expect her to choose an easier way to reunite with the dead. Guess Maedas really aren't used to working hard for their happiness.
I guess it really is the case of together forever - we should have escaped both, or not at all.
Still, it would be interesting to know what comes out of it. Was it a glimpse in a 'parallel reality', or does it affect our own?
You chose to ask her about Shinohara Seiji, didn't follow up on it afterwards and opted to try your hand at pimping, hence missing out on understanding her further, and also chose to have her relive her trauma. Massive triggering, in other words.
I think you already identified that before the update, just that you were unaware how precarious her mental health already was.It would also help if you had talked to her more in the previous nights to get more information. Whatever you can find out from a single night isn't usually enough to get a good ending.
Also, meeting a gigantic sea of dead people emanating sheer hatred for the living isn't good for anybody's psyche at all. Weaker people would have snapped on sight and started babbling, or gone blind from having the indelible image of an abyss of souls seared into their eyeballs... something to remember if you ever decide to drop by again.
Nevill
Arcane
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Traumas are good. Traumas are what motivates people.You chose to ask her about Shinohara Seiji, didn't follow up on it afterwards and opted to try your hand at pimping, hence missing out on understanding her further, and also chose to have her relive her trauma. Massive triggering, in other words.
No, really. If she does not want to live without us, it would be perfectly fine to try and rewind back time (since you know about time-space distortion) or journey to the underworld as a lady Orpheus (since you know the ritual, thanks to us) or become Shinohara Juuzo 2.0 and buy out IAE Corporation with all their shady projects to try and manipulate the fabric of reality.
Instead she just offs herself. Is that the heir of the one of the formerly all-powerful families? Pfft.
Juuzo would never have done that. We would never have done that.
Guess the blood of the business sharks who would do anything, no matter how immoral, to achieve their goals has thinned down.
If she can't look the abyss in the eye and wink back at it, she is not worthy to be
I knew she would try something, I just didn't think it will be that stupid and pointless.
Nami never made an impression of someone who acts completely irrationally to me. Even when she acts on impulse, she at least tries to justify it.
To this, there is no justification but madness.
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Different upbringing, mental stress of recalling every single death at once, waking up to a disembodied hand in your own grip. She's more normal. She doesn't actually have any access to weird time-space projects or anything. If she is like someone who would torture space time and link the world of the living to the world of the dead to be reunited with a loved one, regardless of the consequences to the rest of the world... well, there is probably a worse brand of insanity in that head.
Also, you guys don't know the ritual. You certainly didn't perform anything, you just saw that something was different and decided to dive in.
She did go mad. It was in the update. People do sometimes snap without prior warning. What you find implausible is that she broke too easily, from your perspective, and to that the only answer I can offer is that I have not sufficiently conveyed the stress and horror through the text.
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Rex Feral
Prophet
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- 1,300
... and to that the only answer I can offer is that I have not sufficiently conveyed the stress and horror through the text.
Indeed you haven't, I wasn't even aware that she could lose her sanity at all.
Better atone and bring Maeda back :D
Nevill
Arcane
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We really should have abandoned her.
I mean, if it were us waking up with a disembodied hand, we would have carefully tucked it back under our trenchcoat and carried it back home to preserve the treasured memory of our loved one.
Well, I don't think Juuzo had it 40 years ago, either. Something made him interested in this stuff, or so I assume.
Wait, so Hidetaka's note was false? I thought since the safe passage ritual worked fine, the ritual to open the gates to the underworld would be genuine, too.Also, you guys don't know the ritual. You certainly didn't perform it, you just saw that something was different and decided to dive in.
Regardless, someone in the world knows how to get back in. That's reason enough to seek them out.
But she couldn't be bothered by virtue of being just another pampered lazy noblewoman. Figures.
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You might want to check again to see if you performed any of the required actions for the ritual, at least as mentioned in the note.
Well, Nevill doesn't seem to agree with you on that.
Nevill
Arcane
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Does whether or not we performed the ritual influence if it is genuine or not?
I know we didn't do it. I know we didn't verify if it was real or not.
Nevertheless, I thought it was a real thing, hence my surprise.
I don't mind her. Someone has to make Uehara jealous to make her want to be more cooperative.Well, Nevill doesn't seem to agree with you on that.
But a waifu material she is not.
Kz3r0
Arcane
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- May 28, 2008
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Stop trolling us, would you?
You might want to check again to see if you performed any of the required actions for the ritual, at least as mentioned in the note.
Well, Nevill doesn't seem to agree with you on that.
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Does whether or not we performed the ritual influence if it is genuine or not?
I know we didn't do it. I know we didn't verify if it was real or not.
Nevertheless, I thought it was a real thing, hence my surprise.
The note doesn't describe everything you need to do for the proper ritual. It only talks about the chant, and glosses over any other details. For that you'll need another note, or another source.
I don't mind her. Someone has to make Uehara jealous to make her want to be more cooperative.
But a waifu material she is not.
You have been spoiled by Legend waifus.
And the hospital was already cursed before the loop, as evidenced by the notes. You don't become uncursed just because you get back to the real world.
But, regardless, we should first see how useless and flawed everyone is first, so that redemption, whatever it is worth, has a better feel to it afterwards. Just like in Umineko or something.
Where I am, I must also troll.
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