Review New levels of stupidity discovered - a Witcher review

[Baphomet]

Perhaps not one for the hardcore role player, but a ... MMO addict might well find The Witcher to be a great alternative to watching a DVD during the evening.

Wouldn't MMO addicts be more prone to huge sandboxes packed with two hundred and fifty hours of largely meaningless quests? This is a textbook example of doing it wrong.

 

[Jeff Graw]

Worst one yet.

I'm thinking that no review will sink lower than this one, but unfortunately, that's probably little more than wishful thinking.

 

[denizsi]

He also criticizes the dialogues. Somebody should tell him that Atari botched English dialogue for Oblivionite tastes of him and people like him.

 

[Jeff Graw]

He also criticizes the dialogues.

As he should. He is, after all, reviewing the English version of the game. It's not fair to the developers, but that's life. Deal with it.

Somebody should tell him that Atari botched English dialogue for Oblivionite tastes of him and people like him.

Really? Here I thought it was done to save some money on voice acting.

 

[The Internets]

From the simply amazing http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Roleplaying

You can also pretend you really are making a meal instead of making potions. If your new inn/pub has a fireplace, drop meat along with some vegetables in a bowl, then place it in the fireplace for a few hours to create a pot roast. If you are using a bonfire, put food items in the bucket. After everything is set, wait for the right number of hours, then remove the "cooked" items. Remember, different types of foods cook for different lengths of time.

Whoever wrote that almost certainly has a pit in the basement where he lowers lotion to his mom.

 

[Longshanks]

The review was not bad, with a bit of editing it could have been good, just a few glaringly stupid comments.

The sheer weight of soulless mediocrity we’ve seen in recent years from the RPG fraternity has bred a distinct and difficult to repress cynicism when it comes to believing the box blurb about rich, story driven gameplay and never-before-seen immersiveness.

Nice start.

Mainly, these claims fall among thieves as soon as it becomes apparent that the programmer wrote the dialogue, and all conversations are trite, featureless exchanges of minimalist information.

From both the above quotes, I assumed he was railing against Oblivion.

One single, selectable character is a refreshing change for an RPG, and it’s nice to be able to get straight on with playing the damn thing rather than changing eyebrow colour and deliberating over the defensive properties of a dozen different cod pieces.

Still not sounding like an Oblivion lover.

The linearity of the game demands a few sacrifices in the expected freedom most RPG’s now boast, and many quests or characters are simply unavailable until a specific in-game trigger has been pulled to progress the plot.

Sounding more like he wants the game to be like Oblivion. But non-linearity is a good thing, and I can understand a dislike of areas being locked till triggered and being forced down a certain path (one of the weaknesses of BG).

While this might cause consternation for a diehard role player

Lost me there.

The Witcher could quite reasonably be accused of being an RPG for non-role players; a game of middle ground and familiar mechanics for those who don’t want to wander the countryside murdering wolves or designing their own costume.

Failed sarcasm? Seems to me the first part is sincere, he sees The Witcher as a "crossover" RPG, though how he could see the combat mechanics as familiar I don't know, the last bit seems to be referring to Oblivion with disingenuous mockery. Giving the reviewer the benefit of the doubt, he may be saying that some (who don't know what a real RPG) will see The Witcher as RPG-lite, because they think real rolepalying is wandering around, killing creatures and customising your character at your leisure.

While an ardent RPGer might miss the expansive free roaming of Oblivion, ... actually makes good on claims of early decisions directly affecting the gameplay makes it a worthy addition to the burgeoning dark fantasy genre. Perhaps not one for the hardcore role player, but an FPS gamer or MMO addict might well find The Witcher to be a great alternative to watching a DVD during the evening.

At least he does not miss praising the effects of choices, many reviewers have, even if he left it to the conclusion. Again, being overly generous he could just be using Oblivion as an example of free-roaming, though he does also label Oblivion players as ardent RPGers. The comment that the game would be suited to an FPS or MMO gamer is puzzling, especially as he has said himself that the game's not about free exploration, character customisation, or killing wolves, all staples of MMOs.


All in all, he makes a number of good points, certainly not the worst Witcher review I've read. Cynicism about modern RPGs, wanting good dialog and story, not needing detailed character customisation, praising consequences for choices, these parts of the review could have been written by a codexer. Given that there are these lucid moments, the utter stupidity of some his other points are all the more puzzling.

 

[Badesumofu]

Wouldn't MMO addicts be more prone to huge sandboxes packed with two hundred and fifty hours of largely meaningless quests? This is a textbook example of doing it wrong.

Maybe, but Oblivion is basically a bad MMO, but without any of the things that make MMOs fun. Compared to WoW's huge sandbox, Oblivion is a very small place. A very small place with little to no geographical variation. WoW has all kinds of different regions with different kinds of monsters, differet kinds of loot, different towns... it's actually interesting to explore. Interesting to try and get through an area designed for people 10 levels above you.

See what Michael Madej wrote about Oblivion vs WoW. As far as I'm aware most WoW players who tried Oblivion found it painfully boring. I certainly did.

 

[RK47]

People who played Oblivion loved it because they never get bothered while doing their own LARP. Guarding castle walls, arranging their silverware. Hunting wolves and bears. Even Daedric portals wait for them to finish before invading. Then one thing struck them, wow, wouldn't it be better if I explore the country side with 100 other players? That's ONE side of the coin mind you. They just never foresee a world where they can't save and reload when they actually 'LOSE' as well as world that scales to their level 'omg I am arena grand champion at lvl 5 AWESUM!'

The other side is:
Unfortunately they never weight the consequences of having someone ninja loot their herbs, killstealing their monsters, re-arranging their silverware with an aoe fireball just because they can. What's worse, they'll be paying $15 a month just to make sure their character and hard-earned house won't be deleted.

By the time they realize that, Bethesda would already have around 3 months subscription since that would be roughy the time it take to hit Grandmaster Acrobat from jumping off rooftops and Grandmaster Athletics from running against the wall, and so forth. Not to mention farming herbs to sell on the auction house.

 

[Shoelip]

I actually found this review quite humorous.

Maybe it's just that I've totally given up on reviewers, but it didn't bother me. It just gave me a laugh.

 

[fastpunk]

Indeed, The Witcher could quite reasonably be accused of being an RPG for non-role players; a game of middle ground and familiar mechanics for those who don’t want to wander the countryside murdering wolves or designing their own costume.

I knew this day would come: the day when Oblivion fanboys would proclaim themselves harcore RPG gamers. Oh dears!

 

[blup]

Witcher

Pretty great game this is, I am thoroughly enjoying it.

Luckily I have the Codex to obscenely help me sift through the increasing waves of hollow, consolized, shit that call themselves computer games.

Who could have known that a bunch of degenerate scumbags would prove to be the only folks you can trust?

Can safely say this will be the last game I buy this year, it should have been the only "rpg" I bought this year.. and in a way it was.

 

[Texas Red]

There is nothing wrong with the dialogs nor the voice acting(its quite superb actually). Stop jumping on the bash bandwagon. You have these people that try to hunt down any criticism in a particular game and when they start actually playing it, they are already conviniced by others that feature X is awful.

Maybe I have zero hearing for voice acting but fuck me, its just great. I also dont pretend to be a literature expert and dismiss the whole writing when "babe" is used instead of "m'lady".

I doubt it that everyone who has been playing TW had an annoying thought in the back of their skull, saying that something is wrong. And then when its announced that apparently 20% of English dialogs have been cut, they gasp and realize that this was the problem all a long. Though they havent noticed it before, now they are all protesting Atari for butchering the game.

Also, I hate dicks who havent even bothered torrenting NWN 2, MotB or TW and just sit around here complaining. There are similar features to voice acting/dialogs of TW in other games that spread through forums and force sheep to believe them to be problematic, while I personally never even bothered to notice them.

 

[Morbus]

The simple fact that the dialogs were cut makes it suck. No excuse. No money for them... No sir...

 

[Texas Red]

The simple fact that the dialogs were cut makes it suck. No excuse. No money for them... No sir...

But have you noticed it before it was stated? Did you go "Hmmm. A few words seem to be missing here and there". I dont think so.

 

[Jeff Graw]

Did you go "Hmmm. A few words seem to be missing here and there"

Actually, I did. I'm still enjoying the game though.

 

[Morbus]

The simple fact that the dialogs were cut makes it suck. No excuse. No money for them... No sir...

But have you noticed it before it was stated? Did you go "Hmmm. A few words seem to be missing here and there". I dont think so.

Dude! I said no money for them, so I don't have the game... And I won't have. Unless they release a patch or a mod or whatever, because I'm not playing it if it's not as the devs had the polish (original) version to be... I may be missing a worthwhile experience, still, but I won't take less than what I deserve, and as an English speaking gamer, I deserve the same treatement Polish speaking gamers have.

'Nough said.

 

[Longshanks]

Buy the Polish version then. No translation will be exactly as the devs intended it.

 

[Morbus]

Buy the Polish version then. No translation will be exactly as the devs intended it.

Ya fanny

 

[Sir_Brennus]

The simple fact that the dialogs were cut makes it suck. No excuse. No money for them... No sir...

But have you noticed it before it was stated? Did you go "Hmmm. A few words seem to be missing here and there". I dont think so.

Dude! I said no money for them, so I don't have the game... And I won't have. Unless they release a patch or a mod or whatever, because I'm not playing it if it's not as the devs had the polish (original) version to be... I may be missing a worthwhile experience, still, but I won't take less than what I deserve, and as an English speaking gamer, I deserve the same treatement Polish speaking gamers have.

'Nough said.

You boycott one of the few true CRPGs coming out on the (still not fully verified) verdict that 20% of the dialogue has been cut? Pretty awesome strategy to force the market to give us the products we want

You are allowed to demand a patch from Atari even if you actually OWN the game, did you know that?

I'm fed up with the bullshitting against Atari anyway. I bought Witcher, Mask of the Betrayer, Day Watch, Requital and Dark Tower Conspiracy from their German line up this year. That is an impressive list in my book.

BTW: Don't you mix up Atari US with Atari Europe. The former one will get bancrupt in the near future.

 

[Morbus]

You boycott one of the few true CRPGs coming out on the (still not fully verified) verdict that 20% of the dialogue has been cut? Pretty awesome strategy to force the market to give us the products we want

You are allowed to demand a patch from ATARI even if you actually OWN the game, did you know that?

Demand? What if I demand? What does it matter? I'm demanding now, and NOW I have something they want. If I'd just buy the game they'd want nothing more from me (theoretically, of course) and wouldn't care. I know better, I know how Atari works... So no, no money for them, even if it's unfair for CDPR. That means next time they should find a decent publisher, that's what. I've had more than enough with Atari to even consider accepting this kind of crap.

Of course, should the rumor be proven a lie, I'll gladly pay for the game... But I don't think that will happen... Nor the patch getting released.

I'm fed up the the bullshitting against Atari anyway.

Good for you. I'm fed up with the bullshit from Atari against me.

I bought Witcher, Mask of the Betrayer, Day Watch, Requital and Dark Tower Conspiracy from their German line up this year. That is an impressive list in my book.

I only bought Maks of the Betrayer, and only because it's good enough for me to bear all the other bullcrap. Bugs and all, you know... It's WAY more than enough...

BTW: Don't you mix up Atari US with Atari Europe. The former one will get bancrupt in the near future.

I can't distinguish them, sorry. Anyway, I hope it's true they will. Even if all the rest is the same or worse... They should go for Sierra... or something.

 

[Fresh]

Whoever wrote that almost certainly has a pit in the basement where he lowers lotion to his mom.

:D !

"It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Now it places the lotion in the basket.It places the lotion in the basket. Put the fucking lotion in the basket!"

 

[Ausir]

Demand? What if I demand? What does it matter? I'm demanding now, and NOW I have something they want. If I'd just buy the game they'd want nothing more from me (theoretically, of course) and wouldn't care. I know better, I know how Atari works... So no, no money for them, even if it's unfair for CDPR. That means next time they should find a decent publisher, that's what. I've had more than enough with Atari to even consider accepting this kind of crap.

Of course, should the rumor be proven a lie, I'll gladly pay for the game... But I don't think that will happen... Nor the patch getting released.

Looks like there's a way of unlocking the long version of the dialogues (text only, the voices are still in the short version).

 

[Morbus]

Demand? What if I demand? What does it matter? I'm demanding now, and NOW I have something they want. If I'd just buy the game they'd want nothing more from me (theoretically, of course) and wouldn't care. I know better, I know how Atari works... So no, no money for them, even if it's unfair for CDPR. That means next time they should find a decent publisher, that's what. I've had more than enough with Atari to even consider accepting this kind of crap.

Of course, should the rumor be proven a lie, I'll gladly pay for the game... But I don't think that will happen... Nor the patch getting released.

Looks like there's a way of unlocking the long version of the dialogues (text only, the voices are still in the short version).

Great! :D Are you sure?

Plus, is there an easy way to lock all voice acting at all? There most probably is, as in most games I play.

Anyway, if this is truth, I'm buying the game next week, as I was initially going to.

 

[Marsal]

OT:
Hey Morbus, check this out:
http://www.ugo.com/movies/minotaur-vs-c ... ul-reubens
http://www.ugo.com/movies/minotaur-vs-c ... r=uwe-boll
(there are other opinions on the left side)

Pee-wee Herman and Uwe Boll dig the crossbow (among others). That's some powerful stuff right there!

 

[Ausir]

Morbus:

http://www.thewitcher.com/forum/index.php?topic=4254.0