Game News Next Dragon Age will have stuffies

[Erebus]

For decades, games have forced players to play by their own rigid and outdated rules. Now, play Dragon Age 3 the way you've always wanted to: Automatically. Why die in combat when you can win in the awesomest way the designers envisioned?

You know, that would be a logical next step. The Button of Awesome was awesome, but it still required you to press a button repeatedly to win fights.

And Bioware is also heading there, because their lack of choice comes in different colors :

 

[Tel Prydain]

To be fair, while it’s perturbing to see, it’s not the worst idea in the world.
If a competent developer used it you could have a deep, complex game – but with ‘Derp’ modes that would allow console kiddes and bromance junkies to play without hurting themselves too badly.

 

[Jaesun]

The different difficulty modes (which exist in the other games, just not named specifically as shown in the pic) aren't anything different or new.

The sheer fact they wasted tons of development time doing the multi-player is the huge issue and ruined the final game in the series in the end.

 

[Bulba]

I didn’t hate DA:O. I didn’t love it, but it did show hints that someone, somewhere at Bioware knew what they were doing. Clearly that person was fired before DAII went into production, because whatever flickering hope DA:O showed was mercilessly snuffed out in DA2.

The irksome thing is that DA:O sold fairly well, and occupied a genre niche that no other AAA game was servicing (on PC or on Console). You’d have thought that they would have seen that support as confirmation that there were people still interested in older format games and that maybe, just maybe, not all console gamers were as totally moronic as the advertising department believed.
Alas, apparently they decided that what the world was waiting for was a cross between Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy, Mass Effect 2 and shit.

Devil may cry, fianl fantsy and mass effect are all SHIT, it's just being dumped in different countries and that makes it smell different.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

If a competent developer used it you could have a deep, complex game – but with ‘Derp’ modes that would allow console kiddes and bromance junkies to play without hurting themselves too badly.

Designer : "Right, so we add the 'Storyteller' mode for our casual gamer group, which the brand focus tests for at 78% majority approval, we're adding the mode so they can get through the whole game without getting stuck or needing to redo areas."

Publisher : "That should do. What are you doing for the fussy purchaser crowd?"

Designer: "We need to get in more testers to balance the combat and skills around act two to six and their various endboss fights. Then we need to test the branching narration for any conflicts and glitches with the companion system, since we're up to ten which you can choose five out of, and-"

Publisher: "You're not going to do that. None of it. What you're doing to do, is refocus back to the core project and start adding more of what the good little boys and girls always want, what they'll always pay for, which is even more of the same, a tightly focused guided content delivery experience. And more character-based narrative addons."

Designer: "The community expec-"

Publisher: "The goddamn community, the COMMUNITY! THIS IS *MY* MONEY YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT AND *MY* GODDAMN PROJECT AND IF YOU QUESTION ME AGAIN I WILL HAVE YOU REPLACED WITH A GHOST WRITER INTERN AND THE STUPID BASTARDS LINING UP FOR THE BRAND WILL NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. You think you're hot shit, you think you matter to my bottom line? About all the teenage shits we polled don't even know your fucking name compared to the last pair of videogame tits they saw on their screen, the idiots can barely pronounce the box title as it is. You think you matter to them? You think you matter at all? That last hotshot writer friend of yours, he quit and look, sales are even better than ever. Are we fucking clear?"

Designer: "...yes."

Publisher: "Fuck off and tell that IGN bitch to meet me in my office. I have another exclusive to give her."

 

[Aeschylus]

I didn’t hate DA:O. I didn’t love it, but it did show hints that someone, somewhere at Bioware knew what they were doing. Clearly that person was fired before DAII went into production, because whatever flickering hope DA:O showed was mercilessly snuffed out in DA2.

Yes, that is pretty much true.

 

[IDtenT]

Wait... wait... People cosplay Dragon Age? What what? Any respect I had for the demographic is gone.

 

[Mozgoëbstvo]

Wait... wait... People cosplay Dragon Age? What what? Any respect I had for the demographic is gone.

And the majority appears to cosplay that pirate chick whose forgettable name I've forgotten.

Because

1) it's the easiest costume to make
2) it's the sluttiest

Perfect material!

 

[Infinitron]

Wait... wait... People cosplay Dragon Age? What what? Any respect I had for the demographic is gone.

And the majority appears to cosplay that pirate chick whose forgettable name I've forgotten.

Because

1) it's the easiest costume to make
2) it's the sluttiest

Perfect material!

Thing is they always fail at it cause the tits aren't big enough

 

[Achilles]

I shouldn't be able to die in games. It ruins my immersion.

 

[4too]

Try, Try, Again

I shouldn't be able to die in games. It ruins my immersion.

Yah, dying as consequential part of game play,

think HE could get behind that ...





4too

 

[Kitako]

Why haven't EA shelved this franchise yet?

 

[VentilatorOfDoom]

Just found this video:

Mike Laidlaw is like a rock star.

 

[commie]

"Why haven't EA shelved this franchise yet?"​

DA2 sold 2mil copies in a month. Companies don't shelve gaming franchises that do that. FFS​

Ha ha ha ha ha ...oh wow!

I'll say it again, like I did the previous 3 times as you don't deserve to be let off the hook with this shit: They sold-IN 2 million copies, they didn't actually SELL 2 million copies. Maybe by now after a year with all their bargain bin sales it has reached 2 mil, but after a month? Nigga Please! Regardless, how come you never mention the sales AFTER that month? How come EA NEVER came out with any concrete sales figures for DA2? You'd think they'd be overjoyed at selling 2, 3, 4 million copies! Why nothing in any company report?

Also, EA called Bulletstorm one of its 'successful' titles in 2011 in their annual report(page 17 of their 2011 Form-10k report) so I wouldn't trust them with any figures at all.

 

[Commissar Draco]

No food for you starving africa no one gives a shit You see, we need to spend gazilion amount of money on customizable armore...

Of EA. Nice but no one except Konyad and Pretty Princess will buy this shit anyway.

 

[General Maxson]

I need a vomiting smiley.

Or perhaps a defecating one, it would probably fit seamlessly.

 

[Zed]

Dialogue Wheel? DA3 uses a new, revolutionary dialogue system called Cine-Talk. At the beginning you select a gender, sexual orientation and attitude and alignment and the game then makes all your dialogue choices for you. This will lead to an exciting, uninterrupted and engaging experience.

Why have I not been hired yet?

That would go against Player Agency, the latest buzzword Biodrones have picked up.

 

[Aeschylus]

That would go against Player Agency, the latest buzzword Biodrones have picked up.

Well, I suppose that is the most polite way to beg to be able to actually play a game rather than watch a poorly written movie.

 

[Zed]

Yeah, Player Agency is actually incline in these times of decline. But for Bioware it mostly boils down to "make people think they have control" and other superficial qualities.

 

[Infinitron]

I need a vomiting smiley.

Or perhaps a defecating one, it would probably fit seamlessly.

 

[deus101]

To think..two years ago i was a fan...thinking they would Improve DA....

Now...I want to see them BURN!

 

[Twinkle]

Playable Dwarves or GTFO

 

[Regvard]

EA should just let the guys at Bio make some Sims games.

 

[hiver]

For decades, games have forced players to play by their own rigid and outdated rules. Now, play Dragon Age 3 the way you've always wanted to: Automatically.

Oh go to virgin infested heaven you bastard... i almost snorted out my yogurt, dammit!

Why die in combat when you can win in the awesomest way the designers envisioned? Never again will you be locked out from content because of some neolithic mindset of needing to 'win' in a game, as playing games are really about giving gamers the power of choice, and that means the power to choose not to play at all.

hehe...
- only here the last line should be about power to experience, without all that needless trudge through some obstacles so quaintly called "gameplay" by some obsolete propaganda spinners and pathetic loosers.

... if i may be so bold to add, sir.

Advanced mode available for old school fans who wish to control the camera during action and dialog scenes (camera control unavailable during some scenes for technical reasons).

ze future... it looks so bright now!

To think..two years ago i was a fan...thinking they would Improve DA..

 

[FeelTheRads]

So when did Gaidar gave up on wearing that dead rabbit on his head?