Review NMA's World of Pure Imagination

[Applegate's Breasts]

Hey if you're not getting in line to suck VD's cock, you've got high traces of that tainted element known as Exitium in your system. You need to seek immediate medical attention.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

I'm going to write a review too. It's going to be ten pages long and taste way better than anything Vault Dweller or Chefe can ejaculate.

 

[DefJam101]

 

[Tintin]

 

[Andyman Messiah]

If it weren't for me being a horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

 

[DarkUnderlord]

I'm going to write a review too. It's going to be ten pages long and taste way better than anything Vault Dweller or Chefe can ejaculate.

Sorry, we've already lined up enough Fallout 3 reviews for the Codex. Fifteen opinions will be plenty. A sixteenth is just pushing it.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

I'm going to write a review too. It's going to be ten pages long and taste way better than anything Vault Dweller or Chefe can ejaculate.

Sorry, we've already lined up enough Fallout 3 reviews for the Codex. Fifteen opinions will be plenty. A sixteenth is just pushing it.

What if I actually write it?

 

[DefJam101]

Can I paint a mural review of Fallout 3?

I have no need for words, I can illustrate all of my criticisms.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

You should just draw a painting of a mural.

Seriously though, VD's review looks like it's gonna be a real blast; a violent release of vivid images, creating a thick stream of consciousness. And protein. No, but seriously.

 

[DefJam101]

No, but seriously.

You're really a horse?

 

[Andyman Messiah]

No, but seriously.

You're really a horse?

I was once Jimmy Olsen's evil vampire twin. I am now a glorious horse.

 

[shihonage]

Introduction

Fallout 3 is the third instalment in the award-winning series beloved by children and young adults. The game continues mature themes of exploring a huge world, looting everything that isn't nailed down, killing anything that looks at you funny, and levelling up. While there were other games in the series, no one at Bethesda could remember Arena and Daggerfall, so they stuck with Morrowind and Oblivion for the purpose of determining what exactly they "do well".

Even though the box clearly states that it’s Fallout and adds a very convincing "3", it’s not a Fallout game. It's not even a game inspired by Fallout, as I had hoped. It's a game that contains a loose assortment of familiar Fallout concepts and names, which is why you start the game in a "Vault", get a "Pipboy" device, become buddies with the "Brotherhood of Steel", shoot some "Super Mutants", and stop the evil "Enclave" from doing bad things to good people in a post-apocalyptic "retro-future" America. The main plot revolves around water (Fallout 1 plot) and requires a G.E.C.K. (Fallout 2 plot), thus assuring you that you really are playing a 100% authentic, notary certified Fallout game. With, like, vaults and stuff. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Masterful.

P.S. There's 0% sarcasm and transfat in this post.

 

[garren]

VD, I hope you included the fact that "War, war never changes" is said twice in the intro movie. You know, 'cos that'll get those old Fallout fans twice as excited.

They even spammed that line in the ending movie. Overuse much? Ugh.

 

[Barrow_Bug]

I'm sure it'll (VD's review) be of a high quality. It will be interesting to see how much he delivers it in a non biased fashion.

 

[tunguska]

It will be interesting to see how much he delivers it in a non biased fashion.

I see I'm not the only one wondering if he's been paid off by Zeni-thesda. Only when the next Bethimax MediaWorks game is released will he retract his old review and admit how highly flawed it was and how he was having trouble making his mortgage payments at the time...

C'mon. Sorry. No way that the dickwads that came up with Oblivion and Morrowind could design a game with any redeeming qualities other than graphic scenery. I'm just not buying that. I'll be playing my *very* pirated copy soon enough. So I can make up my own mind. But I am HIGHLY skeptical. In any case I'd still like to chainsaw the heads off of everyone at Zenimax except the programmers and artists (who cannot be held responsible). The only thing that saves Robby Altman and the rest of those scoundrels is that there are other people I hate even more.

Still, if this Capital Wasteland turns out to have any redeeming qualities at all I might consider killing some of them before slicing through their necks with a dull chainsaw and fedexing their heads back to their families. [So that they don't have to bury the decapitated bodies without the heads.]

 

[The Ticktockman]

:decline of intelligent thought:

 

[Azael]

It will be interesting to see how much he delivers it in a non biased fashion.

I see I'm not the only one wondering if he's been paid off by Zeni-thesda. Only when the next Bethimax MediaWorks game is released will he retract his old review and admit how highly flawed it was and how he was having trouble making his mortgage payments at the time...

Unless he's a filthly liar, I don't see Mr. Big Shot executive having problems with his mortgage payments.

VD likes Daggerfall a lot and he thinks Morrowind is pretty good too, IIRC. Maybe it's simply possible that Fallout 3 is an alright game in that vein even if it fails at being Fallout.

 

[Barrow_Bug]

It will be interesting to see how much he delivers it in a non biased fashion.

I see I'm not the only one wondering if he's been paid off by Zeni-thesda. Only when the next Bethimax MediaWorks game is released will he retract his old review and admit how highly flawed it was and how he was having trouble making his mortgage payments at the time...

C'mon. Sorry. No way that the dickwads that came up with Oblivion and Morrowind could design a game with any redeeming qualities other than graphic scenery. I'm just not buying that. I'll be playing my *very* pirated copy soon enough. So I can make up my own mind. But I am HIGHLY skeptical. In any case I'd still like to chainsaw the heads off of everyone at Zenimax except the programmers and artists (who cannot be held responsible). The only thing that saves Robby Altman and the rest of those scoundrels is that there are other people I hate even more.

Still, if this Capital Wasteland turns out to have any redeeming qualities at all I might consider killing some of them before slicing through their necks with a dull chainsaw and fedexing their heads back to their families. [So that they don't have to bury the decapitated bodies without the heads.]

Whilst I appreciate you supporting my constructive thoughts on how VD might deliver his review, don't in way, ever associate my opinions- with yours.

"Chainsawing Heads" and "Fedexing Bodies" is in no way effective in presenting your criticism of something. If you want to post here with some modicum of effect, grow up.

It's evident you don't understand you're talking about real people.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

No, but seriously.

You're really a horse?

I was once Jimmy Olsen's evil vampire twin. I am now a glorious horse.

Were you a centaur before that? Do you have fantasies of Supergirl?

 

[DarkSign]

Once again my pearls of wisdom go unnoticed and unresponded-to. When archaeologists find the codex in 100 years, I'll be avenged.

 

[Vault Dweller]

It's not as enjoyable for someone who already experienced that level of goodness.

So, in other words, if games as good as Fallout or Planescape (but not better) were released today, you wouldn't find them as enjoyable?

One, I assume, would become more and more accustomed to the taste, and start desiring more.

There is nothing wrong with desiring more, but that shouldn't magically turn good into mediocre, especially when that "more" hasn't been achieved yet and your criticism is based on wishful thinking.

Do you think that Bethesda accomplished anything in FO3 that will be remembered 50 years from now, in the history of video game development? Can you say the same about FO1/2? That's why it's not as good.

I never said that it's as good, did I?

I see I'm not the only one wondering if he's been paid off by Zeni-thesda.

Do you really think they care about my opinion?

 

[Texas Red]

Once again my pearls of wisdom go unnoticed and unresponded-to. When archaeologists find the codex in 100 years, I'll be avenged.

That's because you're a MMOG whore with no credibility.

 

[Hory]

So, in other words, if games as good as Fallout or Planescape (but not better) were released today, you wouldn't find them as enjoyable?

I would probably find them enjoyable, but not as much, no, since I'm more desensitized to those features and there would be no innovation appreciation factor that existed 10 years ago. It's the opposite, I start to get bored of the same kind of experience.

There is nothing wrong with desiring more, but that shouldn't magically turn good into mediocre, especially when that "more" hasn't been achieved yet and your criticism is based on wishful thinking.

The increase in standards can turn good into mediocre, since these are greatly subjective terms. "More" has been achieved, just not as a whole. For example, when Fallout was released, I didn't know of JA2's tactical combat. Now that I do, don't you think that my opinion of what's good changed a bit? Or take the facial gestures from Bloodlines. Aren't they "more" than Fallout's talking heads?

I never said that it's as good, did I?

OK, but dissecting FO3 and comparing it feature by feature with FO1/2 in order to determine what's good or not is a flawed method, because you're disregarding the difference in expectations that 10 years of worldwide game development brought. As a whole, Fallout is good and probably still the best, but feature by feature, you can usually find better implementations. And as a whole, Fallout 3 is bad.

 

[Elwro]

You're both right and both wrong, simply because you're confusing two elements: technology and fiction.

As regards fiction - well written quests with choices and consequences worked into the storyline, being just as good as 10 years ago is perfectly acceptable....even laudable. New best sellers aren't crap simply because they're "only as good as 10 years ago." Most books can't hold a candle to Homer's Iliad, created thousands of years ago. By the same token, human beings have increased in sophistication and may require more to remain interested. What was funny in the 20s and 30s may seem childish compared to a hard-core set at The Laugh Factory today.

But there in lies the problem with discussing a computer game... they aren't just fiction. You don't simply flip a page or stare blankly onto a page. They are interactive via technology.

So to say a quest is only as good as 10 years ago vis-a-vis technology....then that could be bad. Better AI, better processing speeds, a rubric of better gameplay might have advanced in time.

To expect some advancement isn't crazy for a cRPG...but when there's been naught else that's touched FO1, something that finally (maybe) does shouldnt be kicked in the teeth.

But there's also another aspect, that of advancement, or development, inside the genre itself. The first attempts at cRPGs in early eighties had only basic plots and quests. In the next decade we got plot-heavy titles (PS:T), games with huge scope but with mostly mundane content (Daggerfall), and games with interesting quests and good dialogue (insert your favourite cRPG here). If someone knew nothing else about gaming history, he'd be justified in expecting that at the end of the next decade the genre went another significant step ahead.

 

[Hory]

Exactly. I'm sure that Pong was considered a good game when it was released, but I can't consider any new game to be good if it just has gameplay and features at the same level as Pong. I'd probably consider it a bad, repetitive game.