Review Oblivion Review

[Mareus]

Homework:

• Don't add spaces between every sentance. See the posts of aries[somefuckingnumber] for an example of NOT how to use spaces.
• That ... -thing you've got going? Ditch it. It worked in third grade. You're not in third grade, are you?

Will try to fix it grandpa. Mhm.. I promise.

 

[Dementia Praecox]

Same goes for .. It's the same thing, only grammatically wrong. Ditch that shit. And from now on you end your replies to me with

Is that understood?

Edit: And you're a member of Andhairas protection squad by default. Now go add it to your sig.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

Homoerotic tension reaching critical mass

 

[DarkUnderlord]

First: I didn't insult anyone until i was provoked.

... and your stupidity provoked others to attack you. It goes both ways.

blah blah blah

Yeah, I'd drop the "first, second, third" stuff. You're not writing a legal document. You don't need to name each one of your individual points. Doing it every once in a while is fine but doing it in every post just makes it look a little lame.

I'd also suggest you find some more insults. The poo thing you've done already. No really, posting more replies with numbered paragraphs and talk of eating poo, interspersed with the I AM MAKIN LULZ smilies just make you look weirder. They reduce the tone of your posts from "I am sirius bizness takin u to teh cleaner" to "imah a retarded Croatian lolollol:"

Edit: And you're a member of Andhairas protection squad by default. Now go add it to your sig.

^This.

 

[Dementia Praecox]

snip

I seem to recall some vague mentions about upgrading the forum-software? Is anything becoming of that?

How about answering stuff that matters for a change, eh?

HOW ABOUT IT?

 

[GeneralSamov]

 

[Mareus]

First: I didn't insult anyone until i was provoked.

... and your stupidity provoked others to attack you. It goes both ways.

blah blah blah

Yeah, I'd drop the "first, second, third" stuff. You're not writing a legal document. You don't need to name each one of your individual points. Doing it every once in a while is fine but doing it in every post just makes it look a little lame..


I'd also suggest you find some more insults. The poo thing you've done already. No really, posting more replies with numbered paragraphs and talk of eating poo, interspersed with the I AM MAKIN LULZ smilies just make you look weirder. They reduce the tone of your posts from "I am sirius bizness takin u to teh cleaner" to "imah a retarded Croatian lolollol:".

OOOOOOOOOOO, we are getting agitated. Watch that sugar rise, i hear its not healthy. I think i was actually being quite polite, you know. But since you insist on me demonstrating my insult skills i ll give myself a bit of relief. Just for the fun of it like in Monkey Island you know hehe:

For starters i would like to ask how old you are, but for a man of your intelligence i guess you couldn't count that high. That is why i will ask simple questions... ones which you can actualy understand. So take a deep breath and dont strain your brain by thinking too much. Human stupidity always baffled me, and just maybe by answering my questions we will have a better insight in the tragedy some people have to live with... namely being born as a dumbass who has to post as a poster child for abortion to make a living. So let us start.
Where were you born? Ohhh... dont think too much... it might hurt your brain. Let me help you. Was it mayhap on the highway? I hear thats where most accidents happen.
Are your parents by any chance siblings? That would explain the retardation you know.
Taking into consideration what the nature did to you, are you still a nature lover?
How does it feel to be braindead?
Mhm... i think we are getting somewhere...
Tell me.. do you still believe in God?
Have you ever felt like there is a wind blowing inside your head?
When you were a kid, have you been climbing trees? Oh... that fall must have hurt your head. That would also explain why you look like a picture of Micheal Jackson taped on the ass of Monica Lewinsky.

Hmmm.. come to think of it, i m afraid i cannot help you. Try the brainsurgeons... although i think even they will have a hard time helping you. My best advice i can give you is this:
Learn from your parents mistakes and get sterilized. Please, before God commits suicide.

PS. I hope you dont get insulted my poor man. hehe See you around dweeb

 

[Dementia Praecox]

Alright, let's evaluate. Let me just open by saying that I'm not all that impressed. You have your moments, but on total it's meh.

OOOOOOOOOOO, we are getting agitated. Watch that sugar rise, i hear its not healthy. I think i was actually being quite polite, you know. But since you insist on me demonstrating my insult skills i ll give myself a bit of relief. Just for the fun of it like in Monkey Island you know hehe:

You start off pretty well. To nitpick you're a bit over the top with the OO-s, three should suffice. Watch your spelling. Spelling mistakes make you look like a retard. Remember that I is always capitalized. Also remember apostrophes Don't write Ill, that only works for the too cool for school-kids and you'd also have to drop capitalization all together. spacemoose pulls this of. And ditch that hehe-shtick. It only makes you look insecure. You aren't insecure are you?

For starters i would like to ask how old you are, but for a man of your intelligence i guess you couldn't count that high.

FAIL

Ageism is retarded. On the internet every woman is a man and every man is 14 until proved otherwise. Either by posting pics or acting non-retarded. Besides it's painfully obvious for all other than the utter noobs like yourself that you've done about zilch research outside of this thread. More on that later. Anyway, newbies often do this, but the only ones who does this over and over again is the retards. You aren't retarded, are you?

That is why i will ask simple questions...

WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE ...-s? That's right! You were supposed to ditch them. You fucking listen to me you little twit.

ones which you can actualy understand. So take a deep breath and dont strain your brain by thinking too much.

Insulting intelligence is usually fine, but not always. I'll tell you why it's not in this case later.

Human stupidity always baffled me, and just maybe by answering my questions we will have a better insight in the tragedy some people have to live with...

Focus on who you're flaming. No one gives a shit about what baffles you. Especially not when they have no fucking clue, what-so-ever, of who you are. Save this shit till you're 500+ posts.

namely being born as a dumbass who has to post as a poster child for abortion to make a living. So let us start.

Nice.

Where were you born? Ohhh... dont think too much... it might hurt your brain.

Ohhh? How do you even pronounce that? I don't know how this works in Croatian, but in English you never use more than two consonants you dimwit. This is borderline epic fail when you combine with intelligence-insults. Also: ...-s.

Let me help you. Was it mayhap on the highway? I hear thats where most accidents happen.Are your parents by any chance siblings? That would explain the retardation you know. Taking into consideration what the nature did to you, are you still a nature lover? How does it feel to be braindead?
Mhm... i think we are getting somewhere...

Nope, you're overdoing it.

Tell me.. do you still believe in God?
Have you ever felt like there is a wind blowing inside your head?
When you were a kid, have you you been climbing trees? Oh... that fall must have hurt your head.

Start is good, but then fuck up. You still keep pressing your previous point. Haven't you established that your victim is retarded yet? Now don't misunderstand me here. Repetition is good, but you're supposed to spread it over your whole post. Unless you are trying to run some kind of 4chan meme, and in that case you're doinitrong.

That would also explain why you look like a picture of Micheal Jackson taped on the ass of Monica Lewinsky.

what

Where did that come from? Did we see a picture? No. So what the hell are you on about? This is the highway to self ownage, if this was Calis you were flaming, he'd just re-post his rambo-picture and then everybody would point and laugh at you. You don't want everybody to point and laugh at you, do you?

Hmmm.. come to think of it, i m afraid i cannot help you.

Were you supposed to? No.

Try the brainsurgeons...

HMM, ARE YOU PERHAPS TRYING TO TELL US THAT YOU THINK DU IS RETARDED? WELL THAT WAS CERTAINLY NEWS TO ME! See above.

although i think even they will have a hard time helping you. My best advice i can give you is this:

Who gives a shit about your advice? You have 17 posts, he has 4k. Shut up already, nobody cares about your fucking advice.

Learn from your parents mistakes and get sterilized.

Are you sure they're sterilized? No. Another possible self-ownage.

Please, before God commits suicide.

This would have been a great ending, I'll give you that. Make this a trademark of yours.

PS. I hope you dont get insulted my poor man. hehe See you around dweeb

PS? You aren't using glasses thicker than 5 cm by any chance? And you just invalidated your whole post by "hoping he don't get insulted"! What the hell? All that typing, right out of the window. You don't give a shit about whether or not he gets insulted. And compare 2God commits suicide" with "See you around dweeb" and tell me which has the most puch.

All in all you have one point - that he is a retard. That's just not good enough. First off you have nothing, abso-fucking-lutely nothing to back your claim up. You need stupid things to quote to warrant your rantings. Since I'm cutting you so much slack here I might as well mention that DarkUnderlord is an admin of this and far too many other sites. If you see the username pop up in blue in the board index, thumb of rule is: Don't fuck with them unless you've got your ass covered. Which you in this case, pretty much don't. But now the shit's already hit the fan so don't wimp out on me and ride this one till the end. Do it as a favor to me. Fuck that, you do it because I tell you to do it. You learn as you live, and there is nothing more educating than getting your ass handed to you on a silver plate.

A couple of quick points:

• Use a spell checker. Spelling mistakes make you look retarded. Combine that with accusing others of being retarded, that's massive fail. And don't give me that "But it's my second/third/fourth/whatever-language!!1"-whine. That's no excuse. No one cares about that. English is my second language. I fuck up all the time, but I'm doing my best. You're not. Use Opera and Aspell and harden the fuck up. If you have to use ten minutes more on your post, so be it. You get value for your money when people stop viewing you as a retard.
• Save repetition for when you've got some content in your post.
• Never apologise, never be sorry.
• Harden the fuck up.
• DO AS I FUCKING TELL YOU TO DO (I.E. don't be a retard and don't write ...)

 

[GeneralSamov]

You get value for your money when people stop viewing you as a retard.

What about Kraszu? Are you going to educate him as well?

 

[Kingston]

I didn't realise how awesome Dementia was until that post.

 

[Mareus]

Personally i dont care if he is the pope himself. Just wanted to give myself and few other people a bit of laughs with insults. And i think many will laugh at it, even old DU. At least on some of the insults. As for spelling, i just dont care. Its faster to type this way and i just cant aford the time to bug myself with grammar and spelling.

 

[MasPingon]

As for spelling, i just dont care. Its faster to type this way and i just cant aford the time to bug myself with grammar and spelling.

You mean you are an idiot?

 

[Mareus]

As for spelling, i just dont care. Its faster to type this way and i just cant aford the time to bug myself with grammar and spelling.

You mean you are an idiot?

Well if you think that is the only measurment of stupidity, then yes... i am an idiot.

Great observation, genius!

 

[Mareus]

Ok people, i had enough fun with this insult trashing. Its good to see some of you still have that itch for a good fight. Really a great way to get to know eachother. Ill get to more serious posting from now on, but know that i m always ready for a good duel. All you have to do is throw a glove in my face and say:
"No quarter asked, none given. Its a duel mr. Marues."
At which point i will sharpen my tounge and answer:
"En garde, slimebuol. You, mensuior, have zee brein of zee shicken."

 

[someone else]

What was this thread about again?



PS. Oblivion sucks...

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

PS. Oblivion sucks...

So we've heard

 

[Mareus]

What was this thread about again?



PS. Oblivion sucks...

Ok, well since i started this whole mess lets try to write something meaningful for exchange. I may have an attitude problem, but i know my games. Now I know there will be fire on me again for writting about old stuff that nobody cares anymore, but what the hell. I ll just give him my 100 insults treatment agian.

So here it is...My Oblivion retrospect (i wrote this some time ago on some other forum):

I have played games since i was 4 years old, from ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, Sega Mega Drive, Super Nintendo, PC, etc and i am proud to be able to say i played almost every game worth mentioning in the game history at least once. That being said, i had really high expectations from Oblivion, especially because Morrowind was such a great game and most of the review sites have been praising Oblivion as one of the best RPGs ever made. Unfortunately after 10 h of gameplay i started to be more and more dissapointed. Before i go to details just a sidenote. I will be comparing the game mostly with Morrowind, because it is Oblivion's predecessor. That way it will be easier to see all the big and powerful improvments Bethseda claims to have made.

So let us start. First dissapointemnt that striked me was the story. It didn’t even manage to keep me interested long enough to finish the game. Even if i wanted to get into details the story could still fit in a few sentances. To put it bluntly, you awake in a prison (yes, thats right folks, AGAIN), and suddenly you meet the king (none other than Patrick Stewert), who had visions of you being the saviour of the world. Appereantly he is trying to get to safety, because there are some evil villians after his head. Very original indeed, for this is the first time i have ever seen in a serious computer game that the escape leads straight through your cell. Then it gets better. The king gets killed and you must find his heir who will save the kingdom from the demonic invasion. WOW. Brilliant.

Very soon it also becomes clear that the world looks awful when compared with Morrowind. I am not talking about the graphics here, i am talking about geography and positioning of cities and villages and roads. Oblivion map looks like a huge artificial bowl with one center city and few roads leading away from it. When you compare that with the very detailed world from Morrowind, where every city is completely different, where you have different regions and huge unpassable mountains, one can easily see what i am talking about. Oblivion litteraly looks like Alice in Wonderland, with a dungeoun or whatnot every few steps you make.

After forcing myself to play the game further, i relized there is far less items, armors and weapons than in Morrowind. Yes, Bethseda decided to remove crossbows, throwing daggers, spears, etc. There is even less magic, less books, less quests, no more cool stuff like levitating, etc. At that point i am slowly losing patience and telling myself: great job Bethseda.

The dialogs in Morrowind were nothing to be proud of, but at least you could have asked about many more things than in Oblivion. Unfortunetely Bethseda came up with another great idea, so they turned the bad dialogs from Morrowind into retarded dialogs in Oblivion!! Example:
Directions
Rumors
Goodbye
Yep... i m not joking. And then you get the same answer you heard 10 times before with the same voice you have heard already 10 times before, and who could ever forget the voice of the beggar? When you ask him about rumors, his voice suddenly transforms from weak old man into the voice of an imperial soldier!! The worst thing is... its not only the beggar...A perfect formula for one of the most repetitive and boring dialogs in the gaming history! 10 voices for 1000 characters, with dialog options which are not far from Diablo. BRAVO!! A true masterpiece.

If you think you will atleast see some of those deep characters with emotions Bethseda was talking about, i have to dissapoint you again. Characters you meet are completely without charisma or personality(some of them sound like fags actually), and 90% of them looked like retards. Women were especially ugly. I am not saying the appearance is very important for the game, but with the character creation tool they had at their disposal, they could have at least made some cool looking characters. But no, its better to make peasent like faces and say its more realistic. Indeed...

Then there are those Oblivion gates that start popping out in the middle of the game like mushrooms after rain! When i entered the first, i was pissing in my pants and it really looked and felt amazing. But even this they managed to screw up, because they overused it. After you have been in 15 oblivion gates, the whole Oblivion gate system loses any meaning. It becomes just one more Diablo-like maze you need to pass. The feeling is gone... they even become annoying because its just too many of them and it ruins the immersion.

But wait...it gets better, believe it or not.

I forgot to mention the all famous bugs, which this game has alot! The AI of the temporary party members is so terrible they sometimes start killing eachother while they should be battling the enemy! Not only that, but they also charge at the enemy like madman, forgetting anything about tactics making them easy pray. If you by accident kill your party member(cause his AI is so retarded they often jump infront of your sword just when you are about to strike), the whole party turns on you and kills you where you stand. Talking about realism...sheesh..
Then there is the NEVER SIT ON MARTIN’S HORSE RULE! Once i sat on Martin’s horse by accident the guards simply cut me down like a bleeding pig. Yeah! Forget about what i did for the kingdom. Forget i saved our beloved king 10 times! Lets kill him cause he sat on our ruler’s horse!! ... Very intelligent...

There is so much more and i really want to say everything, because this game won so many awards for the best RPG in 2006, that it makes me furious. There were better RPGs that came out that year and i really dont understand how some people dont see this. Whatever i say here is 100% true. Everything is argumented, and i really dont understand how can this Oblivion become the best RPG in 2006, when they had great games like Final Fantasy 12 and Neverwinter Nights 2 to compete with. Yes, those games also had some issues, but atleast they offered great story, with great plot and characters, with far better dialogs and more ways to play the game...

So let me continue..

Then there is the 'always burning' Kwatch. After i saved the city from oblivion gate, i returned there after 2 months. I expected the city will start to rebuild itslef or something, but what i found was a shock that made me throw the game in the garbage(i mean recycle bin). The city was still burning in flames!!!!! I mean, couldnt have they atleast put out the flames after 2 months????

I wish i could stop, but there is so much more. The leveling system allows enemies to level up with you, so you will never feel you are growing in power like in other RPGs. This would not be so bad if there was atleast some more armors and weapons, but you will find yourself wearing the same armor and wielding the same weapon for days, even weeks. This makes adventuring into mines and caverns repetetive and pointless. And no matter what level you become or what you do, the game just makes your every effort pointless.

The game, unlike Morrowind doesn’t encourage you to go exploring and to read books, because you have the 'arrowfordumbpeople' which tells you exactly where you need to go. In Morrowind you would read a book, just in the hopes you will find some more info on where to find other villages or cities. You would explore huge land masses in hopes of improving your knowledge of the land and finding some good weapons. Sometimes that can be frustrating, but really adds to the roleplaying realism...

I could go on for years about all the bad stuff in Oblivion like these things:
How in the nine hells does a merchant in Imperial city know i stole a fork in some cottage in the middle of nowhere???????????
Inventory organization is far worse then in Morrowind.
When you break into someone’s home and awake them, they will continue to talk with you like nothing happened!!! ... so on, and so on.

Some of you will probably think i m concentrating just on the bad aspects of the game, but no. Now i will say what was done better than in Morrowind:
Graphics are an improvement.
Game mechanics are better than in Morrowind. Especially the fights (though even that feels more like a shooter than a real RPG)
And thats it. ... Nothing else.

I know some of the people never played Morrowind, or an RPG at for that matter, so to them Oblivion will look great and it will offer a great gaming experiance due to vast world and many options when compared with the shooters. But to the game veterans like me, who have grown up on far better games, Oblivion is a huge dissapointment.

There you have it people... now shoot bolts at me from your arses.

 

[Futile Rhetoric]

Just wanted to give myself and few other people a bit of laughs with insults.

I s'pose it is sort of funny in a newborn-puppy-trying-to-walk sort of way.

 

[Dementia Praecox]

Personally i dont care if he is the pope himself.

And that is why you fail. And will keep on failing, unless you get your head out of your ass and start listening to me.

Just wanted to give myself and few other people a bit of laughs with insults.

You're the only one laughing. And you call that insults? You didn't even try.

And i think many will laugh at it, even old DU.

You've got that right. It's just that he's laughing for different reasons than you.

At least on some of the insults.

No.

As for spelling, i just dont care. Its faster to type this way and i just cant aford the time to bug myself with grammar and spelling.

What? With a decent browser you can spell check in a matter of seconds when you get used to it. That way you'll look so much less of a retard, and you'll have a far greater chance of getting away with them straw-men of yours. And you know what? As an added bonus you'll stop making the same mistakes over and over again. You learn. I rarely get any hits in the spell checker anymore (though a grammatic/sentence-flow-checker probably would've gone haywire), and that's because I've learned. Taste that word. It's more important than you'd think.

Well if you think that is the only measurment of stupidity, then yes... i am an idiot.

When you combine it with all the inane bullshit you've been spewing as of yet, yes you are an idiot.

Great observation, genius!

You should be veery careful with those insults of yours.

Ok people, i had enough fun with this insult trashing.

If that means you're leaving the codex, then good fucking riddance. But if you intend to stay, and expect not to be flamed after every single post you make from now on, you're sorely mistaken my friend. And I'm not talking about my self. Hell no. I'm the least of your problems. In fact, your only chance - and it's getting more remote by the minute - is me. That's right! Me.

To sum up: If you're gonna stay, you need to shut the hell up, think for a minute, and suck my prae-cock.

Its good to see some of you still have that itch for a good fight.

It's a one way road until you start listening, buddy.

Really a great way to get to make an ass of my self.

Fixed.

Ill get to more serious posting from now on

You wish.

but know that i m always ready for a good duel.

Not until you start to FUCKING LISTEN TO ME, you aren't.

All you have to do is wait for me to open my ungratefull mouth

Fixed god damnit.

Now you listen to me you little shit. I take you under my wing, try to help, try to make you a future codex-elite, and this is what I get in return? I don't know why the hell I'm giving you another chance, perhaps it's because I've too fucking deep in it.

If you fail, I fail. Get it? Now get your act together. You're a fucking disgrace.

 

[Mareus]

Personally i dont care if he is the pope himself.

And that is why you fail. And will keep on failing, unless you get your head out of your ass and start listening to me.

Just wanted to give myself and few other people a bit of laughs with insults.

You're the only one laughing. And you call that insults? You didn't even try.

And i think many will laugh at it, even old DU.

You've got that right. It's just that he's laughing for different reasons than you.

At least on some of the insults.

No.

As for spelling, i just dont care. Its faster to type this way and i just cant aford the time to bug myself with grammar and spelling.

What? With a decent browser you can spell check in a matter of seconds when you get used to it. That way you'll look so much less of a retard, and you'll have a far greater chance of getting away with them straw-men of yours. And you know what? As an added bonus you'll stop making the same mistakes over and over again. You learn. I rarely get any hits in the spell checker anymore (though a grammatic/sentence-flow-checker probably would've gone haywire), and that's because I've learned. Taste that word. It's more important than you'd think.

Well if you think that is the only measurment of stupidity, then yes... i am an idiot.

When you combine it with all the inane bullshit you've been spewing as of yet, yes you are an idiot.

Great observation, genius!

You should be veery careful with those insults of yours.

Ok people, i had enough fun with this insult trashing.

If that means you're leaving the codex, then good fucking riddance. But if you intend to stay, and expect not to be flamed after every single post you make from now on, you're sorely mistaken my friend. And I'm not talking about my self. Hell no. I'm the least of your problems. In fact, your only chance - and it's getting more remote by the minute - is me. That's right! Me.

To sum up: If you're gonna stay, you need to shut the hell up, think for a minute, and suck my prae-cock.

Its good to see some of you still have that itch for a good fight.

It's a one way road until you start listening, buddy.

Really a great way to get to make an ass of my self.

Fixed.

Ill get to more serious posting from now on

You wish.

but know that i m always ready for a good duel.

Not until you start to FUCKING LISTEN TO ME, you aren't.

All you have to do is wait for me to open my ungratefull mouth

Fixed god damnit.

Now you listen to me you little shit. I take you under my wing, try to help, try to make you a future codex-elite, and this is what I get in return? I don't know why the hell I'm giving you another chance, perhaps it's because I've too fucking deep in it.

If you fail, I fail. Get it? Now get your act together. You're a fucking disgrace.

HAHA!
You have style i have to grant you that, but whooboy are you gonna get it when i get home from work. Unfortunately i have to run now.

 

[Nael]

Then there is the NEVER SIT ON MARTIN’S HORSE RULE! Once i sat on Martin’s horse by accident the guards simply cut me down like a bleeding pig. Yeah! Forget about what i did for the kingdom. Forget i saved our beloved king 10 times! Lets kill him cause he sat on our ruler’s horse!! ... Very intelligent...

That's exactly what got Jesus killed. He sat on the King of the Jews' donkey, Schlomo.

 

[dagorkan]

Edit: And you're a member of Andhairas protection squad by default. Now go add it to your sig.

Thanks, I really wanted to be associated with this dipshit.

 

[Texas Red]

Anyone want to join Ladonna's Communist Separatist Feminist World Liberation Front?

 

[Nael]

Anyone want to join Ladonna's Communist Separatist Feminist World Liberation Front?

Only if you're in the market for a misogynist beefcake.

 

[Dementia Praecox]

Edit: And you're a member of Andhairas protection squad by default. Now go add it to your sig.

Thanks, I really wanted to be associated with this dipshit.

Yeah, I can understand that. That rant he ninja posted up there is so ridiculous that I'm starting to loose faith. I'm still make some last efforts to whip some desperately needed sense into him though. Remember that he's not a member before he adds it to his sig.

You have style i have to grant you that,

but whooboy are you gonna get it

when i get home from work.

Come again? I think you mistyped. Check out that dictionary, boy.