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Review Plain Games reviews Oblivion - 4.5/5

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
28,038
Tags: Bethesda Softworks; Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

<a href=http://www.plaingames.com>Plain Games</a>, a fucked up site that reviews games using 5 criteria: violence, magic, sexuality (yes, sexuality), profanity, and message, has posted a <a href=http://www.plaingames.com/games/reviews/review.asp?id=169>review</a> of <a href=http://www.elderscrolls.com/home/home.htm>Oblivion</a>, "the RPG that mature gamers have been awaiting", giving it 4.5 stars.
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<blockquote>Bethesda Softworks has added on to their legendary Elder Scrolls series of RPGs with an impressive addition, Oblivion. Each time they have released a new chapter, they have continued improving a very unique system that allows for incredibly precise character building.
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One major element that Bethesda has been working on for a while, and finally unveiled, is the Radiant AI system. NPCs in the world are no longer scripted. They have schedules, take care of their basic needs, and will even have full-length conversations with other NPCs they bump into while going about their lives. Sometimes they even commit random crimes and the guards arrest or kill them! They can do just about anything the player can do and will do things to better themselves, such as practice combat, cast spells, and eat meals. The conversations they have can also lead to possible quests or reveal important information that the player can later bring up in conversation to get a better understanding of what’s going on in the world.
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Bethesda continues to impress with this installment of the Elder Scrolls series. Expansion packs may follow, but when observing the track record for frequency of release, we might not get another installment in the Elder Scrolls series for the next four years, but when it does arrive, it will probably make Oblivion look quite outdated.</blockquote>The last sentence is kinda retarded and implies that the review was written by a 10-year old.
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Shoelip

Arbiter
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
1,814
Wow, sounds like they're reviewing that old prerelease hype video of lies, instead of the game itself.
 

Cycloptis

Scholar
Joined
Feb 12, 2006
Messages
127
Location
Dead
Plain Games provides video game ratings and is dedicated to writing family oriented game reviews of electronic, computer and video games, and pc hardware from a Christian perspective!

:shock:
 

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
28,038
We need to have "made in christendom" stamps of approval to help us build/buy christian computers. I don't think I would be very comfortable using a computer made in China, for example.
 

Zlaja

Arcane
Joined
Aug 17, 2006
Messages
5,774
Location
Swedex
We need a Christian section of the Codex. In it you're not allowed to post threads about Oblivion and Volourn gets 2000 volts through his body every time he presses "submit" button.

Hallelujah!
 

Excrément

Arbiter
Joined
Feb 21, 2006
Messages
1,005
Location
Rockville
Admiral jimbob said:
NPCs in the world are no longer scripted.

what

And here's another Christian review site. Not as good as the one which gave Morrowind a low score because of the blasphemic water walking spell, but still pretty amusing.
http://www.almenconi.com/reviews.php?art_id=824

unbelievable!!!

I may try a new venture : I copy/paste this website, transcript it in arabic and see if it works also with the islamists dumbs...
 

denizsi

Arcane
Joined
Nov 24, 2005
Messages
9,927
Location
bosphorus
I didn't know that they provided internet access to the attended in mental institutions.
 

Brother None

inXile Entertainment
Developer
Joined
Jul 11, 2004
Messages
5,673
Vault Dweller said:
The last sentence is kinda retarded and implies that the review was written by a 10-year old.

Still, he's right in that history will have forgotten Oblivion in 4 years. It has all the lasting value of a shoehorn.
 

Amateur

Novice
Joined
Oct 23, 2006
Messages
95
Vault, I do respect and aggree with your reviews. But do you have to put all the retarded reviews of this .... game. I'm really bored to see these stupid reviews praising OB.

BTW I realised that Oblivion indeed has given us a great retardedness measure for the people playing it. The higher one plays Oblivion the more retarted he is. With 75 hours of gameplay I thought I was quite retarded while I read some people clocking around 2000hr :shock: and now I feel pretty smart :lol:.
 

Volourn

Pretty Princess
Pretty Princess Glory to Ukraine
Joined
Mar 10, 2003
Messages
24,924
Then I must be a genius. I have NEVER played Oblivion.. unlike CD who has played it LOTS.

R00fles!
 

Atrokkus

Erudite
Joined
Feb 6, 2005
Messages
3,089
Location
Borat's Fantasy Land
PlaneGames is absolutely hillarious, an excellent find. I mean, sometimes it's quite hard to believe that the reviewer actually means what he says, and not just making a one huge joke.

Here are some of my favorite gems:

Vampire: The Masquarade - Bloodlines
Probably the first game I searched for there, because of the obvious EVILNESS of its setting and atmosphere. So here are some snips:
PlainIdiotChristians said:
There are many downsides to this game from a Christian’s perspective, if almost too many to count.
There are even topless women.
To sum it up, from an objective standpoint, the gameplay is great, but the undertones are too vulgar for Christian taste. But as Christians, it is advised to avoid playing this game. Objectively, the game is a winner, but morally, it is a loser.
Eloquently put, Father Tully.


Diablo II.
Some very talented people have worked on Diablo II, but it seems they have chosen to use their gifts to glorify evil rather than righteous holy things. Wars of good vs. evil are timeless themes and can be done in a way that does not dishonor God as Diablo II has succeeded to do weather the developers know this or not. The name Diablo itself means devil, which is something that was a deliberate choice and carries a certain theme of evil.
Many of the women in the game are not modestly dressed at all, which is another reason why this game is a poor choice to play.


Neverwinter Nights:
You might play a paladin who only does the right and lawful thing, a mindless barbarian that kills everything he sees, or a sneaky rogue who takes and does what he wants, regardless of how it affects others. Most of the problems this game presents to the Christian player can be avoided simply by being aware of your options and choosing the ones that do not conflict with your faith.
Now that was kind of insightful from a roleplayer's perspective - at least those christian lunatics endorse actual roleplaying, though the reviewd game is poorly suited for that.

Starcraft
If you click on a unit enough, he/she will begin saying funny phrases, but these can also often contain crude or vulgar language. Fortunately, anything stronger than d*** or b**** is censored, except in cinematic movie sequences. In addition, Terran soldiers often smoke and drink during cinematics. Finally, the Protoss have several “spellcaster” units which provide a bit of otherworldly religion in the game.
OH MY FUCKING GOD even protoss were struck by the heavenly hammer of justice!


Too bad the chrisitan fucktards didn't review Fallout - it was way too evil and hard for them i guess. It's a shame, because such a review could get linked in the Fallout wiki.
 

Shoelip

Arbiter
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
1,814
Ironically, your comments are the stupidest part of your post. You just end up showing that you're an ignorant fundimentalist atheist who's even worse than the ignorant fundimentalist Christians because atheists should know better.

But no, lets all just hop on the I hate christians bandwagon! Because it's so intellegent to hate christians. :roll:
 

Ladonna

Arcane
Joined
Aug 27, 2006
Messages
10,958
Now now Shoelip, Didn't the LORD teach forgiveness?

HE doesn't care if you hate him; HE loves you all the same. Or something like that....And are not his followers supposed to try and emulate him? Or the Pope? Or Benny Hinn depending on your Persuasion?

Of course, if you are an Old Testament kinda guy, then let the fire and brimstone roll on! :lol:

In any case the Diablo perspective was flawed; Did the reviewer realise that the PC is battling the 'Devil'? I am surprised that a Christian would have a problem with that. Perhaps the big red guy is back in these days?

Still, at least there was some sense in a few of the reviews there. The usual hyped Oblivion review.
 

Shoelip

Arbiter
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
1,814
JrK: Sadly, they'ed probably think he was an islamic extremist, though it would seem rather hypocritical of Jesus to hit someone in the face.

Ladonna: I see you couldn't actually be bothered to read my post before responding to it.
You just end up showing that you're an ignorant fundimentalist atheist who's even worse than the ignorant fundimentalist Christians because atheists should know better.

I do agree though that thing about diablo was odd. Especially since they seem to have payed pretty good attention to details most of the time.
 
Self-Ejected

aweigh

Self-Ejected
Joined
Aug 23, 2005
Messages
17,978
Location
Florida
When Diablo came out I was quite young, and I remember wanting my dad to buy it for me but he never did because of the name/box art. I always found it surprising since he's one of those christians who never go to church but really, really believes in his faith.

Wouldn't christians want to kill the devil? But apparently that's blasphemous or something.
 
Self-Ejected

aweigh

Self-Ejected
Joined
Aug 23, 2005
Messages
17,978
Location
Florida
Jack Chick is awesome. I have an original printing of his D&D strip!! :D
 

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