From the perspective of someone who tried the demo (and hated it) back before the game became this huge internet phenomenon that people won't shut up about, and has since remained skeptical but mildly curious, the only thing this review accomplished was remind me how obnoxious the fanbase is for this game.
Maybe fans of the game would find it endearing, but what made you think including cutesy quips like this was a good idea when trying to convince a forum full of people who are highly critical/skeptical of this game for being a memefest with lolsoquirky humor:
An iconic monster, fitting for the Codex's audience, is the tsunderplane - an airplane that behaves like a stereotypical anime girl. She likes you, B-BUT DON'T GET ANY IDEAS B-BAKA!!
You say it's the most coherent and consistent game ever, and then in the very next section bring up the fact that the combat consists of just arbitrary minigames without making any attempt to reconcile this seeming contradiction.
You say the game has the most memorable characters ever, are the flower and the plane supposed to be good examples of that? From what you've described, one is a cutesy flower but no wait he's actually evil and trying to kill you!!! (and this character twist apparently intrigued you enough to the point where it made you resist your intitial impulse to stop playing the game?), and the other is a stereotypical anime girl but instead of being a girl it's a plane (lolsorandom).
The part about the game's reactivity sounds interesting, but C&C doesn't mean much to me if I find the game's subject matter obnoxious and not the least bit compelling.
And then there's this little gem:
The meta-play is fantastic, too, as it fully explores the simple fact of playing a video game.
So are you gonna actually tell us what you mean....
Unfortunately, talking in detail about any of that would spoil most of the game's fun, as it is something that has to be witnessed first-hand, not read about. Which is why, for this review, I'll focus on a mechanical analysis and leave the feels and emotions as a surprise to the player.
...Oh go fuck yourself.
I realize that in order to properly appreciate any great piece of media, one has to experience it themselves directly, and any attempt at distilling that experience into an essay unsing descriptive language will end up not doing it justice. But this is still the most bullshit copout ever. You can look at any truly great game (Doom, Fallout, Thief, Dark Souls etc.) and find a shitload of articles and videos explaining why those games are great. Yet fans of this game want to pretend that it's achieved some kind of Daoist transcendence where it's beyond analyzing through descriptive language.