Screenshot thread

[Shadenuat]

It looks surprisingly complex for a game with such simple visuals.

 

[Baron Dupek]

It looks surprisingly complex for a game with such simple visuals.

Sounds like old games.

 

[bonescraper]

Time for another FFXIII screenshot dump.

 

[kain30]

FFXIII looks pretty, but i´m sick of them. a too long saga. FF should have died with the seventh game

 

[Atheist]

More like final installment amirite

 

[Hoaxmetal]

More like final installment amirite

More like final uninstallment amirite *

 

[DraQ]

Those look like renders, but they're actually in-game screenshots. From a 2010 console game. God damn.

Meh.

Game is more linear than VHS tape, it's actually one long narrow corridor. When you don't have actual level geometry, can make really specific assumptions about the scene rendered and optimize the living fuck out of your backgrounds (because you know they will stay in the background and can narrow down possible observer positions to aforementioned narrow corridor) you can really cut a lot of corners.

 

[Astral Rag]

 

[bonescraper]

Maybe you could dump them behind spoiler tags next time you pinko bastard.

No, and i hate people who do that.

Also, you could update your cultural_stereotypes.txt. It's hilariously inaccurate.

 

[Astral Rag]

 

[felipepepe]

Fate: Gates of Dawn:

"Rapist looking guy gropes half-naked sorceress"

I should e-mail this to Kotaku. :3

 

[racofer]

Grope

 

[pippin]

dats some sweet pixelated sideboob tho

 

[baturinsky]

Gee, a big-titted gal with red eyes and a neko chan is sending me to a meeting with the negrodancer head honcho

White Morgiah? Looks like you play unpatched version.

 

[Seerix]

I wanted to upload CoD screenies but I happen to have like few hundred of them so have some Alien Isolation for now:

Spoiler

Some info about our shitty space ship

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I keep my priorities straight

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Geez, her face looks kind of fucked up close like that

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But the rest is fine

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I trashed similarly sized box of this crap from my house about eight months ago

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Cookies! Crackers! Biscuits! ^w^

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That looks a bit familiar

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The game looks really nice, this is how it looks on almost lowest settings, most eye candy turned off. IIRC I only left the fancy reflections on.

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Too bad gameplay-wise it's a retarded BioShock with its toys stolen, there are even fucking audio logs

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Some of this stuff looks really shitty on a static screen, that flare in second picture is like the most fucking detailed flare I ever seen, they probably had somebody specifically hired to make all this shit.

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Actually, it's not only BioShock. This game also rips a lot from Dead Space

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Have you come seeking the light, motherfucker?

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Looting ala Borderlands but more annoying lol

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Took me way to long(more than 30 seconds) to notice this fucking button, good thing there was nowhere else to go

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Some spooky screen

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Some dead guy

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Some old school junk, I guess

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Some 1970s style culture?

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Some assholes

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Some maintenance guy with magical wrench to open identically locked doors all over this dump

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For shadow settings on lowest this looks really fucking nice

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We find a bum friend with a hand cannon revolver, if I gave a fuck I'd bet how long till obligatory death scene but as I said, no fucks from me.

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After annoyquitting the main campaign I check out the two dlc "campaigns" that apparently are just two segments from first Alien movie. First dlc is rendition of getting into the vents to look for alien(and you can pick Ripley, nigger or Dallas) and second starts when Ripley preps the escape shuttle and Lambert and whatever the fuck nigger is called get raped by alien in warehouse.
Damn, this looks pretty(oh and the black guys name is Parker lol ok):

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That is one fucking trippy bug(it is a bug, right?)

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God that scene was so much more fucked up and bloody in the movie, Lambert especially, it seemed like it was implied she got fileted/raped, meh. Also, you can loot them corpses, ha ha!

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OH HAI

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I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha!

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This is getting exciting!

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Alien sloppy makeout time

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dot dot dot

Fun fact: you can't jump in Alien Isolation, an FPP game with FPS moments. You can't jump. You can't jump in this game.

That isn't a deal breaker for me, no. What made me stop giving a fuck and decide to look for a let's play on the tubes was combination of CoD level lengthy cutscenes and sparse manual checkpoint system that is similar to first Resident Evil or Silent Hill games(IIRC, only read walktroughs of those games as a kid) and the first combat/stealth encounter had really shitty directions. So I got annoyed and my shitmeter is pretty damn full already from playing trough Black Opses and Modern Warfare 3.

 

[toro]

LOVE THIS SHIT.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

I trashed similarly sized box of this crap from my house about eight months ago

And look where they ended up, in space!

But yeah, no jumping (or mantling objects unless specifically programmed to do so) is fucking lame.

 

[TheEntitledOne]

RPG Codex, enter the pleasure.

Pretty much what I would expect from VaultCOdexia.

Btw, what's the code for the entrance computer?

 

[JarlFrank]

What gaem is this

 

[Astral Rag]

JarlFrank it's Project Zomboid.

 

[Darth Roxor]

White Morgiah? Looks like you play unpatched version.

I'm running patch 2.13 and it's dandy. I wouldn't dare to brave an unpatched Daggerfall.

 

[DraQ]

Gee, a big-titted gal with red eyes and a neko chan is sending me to a meeting with the negrodancer head honcho

White Morgiah? Looks like you play unpatched version.

I've always figured up she was using make-up for political reasons in Daggerfall.

 

[baturinsky]

White Morgiah? Looks like you play unpatched version.

I'm running patch 2.13 and it's dandy. I wouldn't dare to brave an unpatched Daggerfall.

There are also unofficial patches - http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Daggerfall:Files#Patches_and_Official_Utilities

 

[potatojohn]

So far so good.

 

[Seerix]

Call of Duty Black Ops Outtakes

Spoiler

Our hero doesn't fuck around with brainwashed civilians.

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The initial area of gulag our hero has to escape from reminds me a lot of the first Red Faction's starting area, you also fight annoying guards until you shiv your way to cutscene

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Somebody needs to steal this skybox asset and use it in some Source mod or something, ASAP. Amount of wasted material in those AAA games is hilariously high.

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After admiring the rocketry, I break one, oops.

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It's fascinating how Vietnam missions in this game made me absolutely hate every single fucking Vietnam cunt and want to just watch them all burn and scream. I wonder if this is how it was for actual soldiers during the real war, their fucking voices alone makes you wanna drown them in napalm.

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It appears this gentleman died from shrapnel to the eye. Ouch.

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Those two fucking screens could literally fit into every modern CoD, lol. The second one actually could fit into all of the CoDs, the mission to flank AA batteries and blow them up was all the way back in the Call of Duty 1 demo.

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Fuck you, game. You're an asshole.

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After we finish force feeding poor old man with broken glass, the game throws us right into a firefight armed with two fucking pistols. I'm no expert, but isn't this dual wielding just an action movie thing and is completely useless outside some extremely specific situations and gangsta dumbfuckery? It sure was fucking useless in this game, I almost died, couldn't hit or kill jack shit.

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First replacement I find is some hilariously fucked up SMG. Looks like somebody stuck a barebone magazine right under the front of Beretta pistol barrel? And animation even on the screenshot shows our hero is shoving the clip into the weapon's grip.

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Fucking 9/11, if it didn't happen we would have like at least one plane hitting a building in every CoD. People are fucking stupid!

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Good old G11 from Fallout 2. The most powerful weapon that Sulik could use, making him probably most useless npc after those inbreds from Modoc. Even Myron or Lenny were more useful with Gauss Pistols.

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Now we're talking! HMGs are my weapon of choice in every CoD as they're perfect for rushing trough the game to break its checkpoint system. Especially when its Infinity Ward's turn in making CoD game, their narrative ineptitude makes them rely on infinitely respawning enemies for majority of gameplay and it ends only when you clear the next checkpoint which moves the story forward. You can finish some levels in five minutes if you keep that in mind and won't get blocked by cutscenes. Black Ops is Treyarch game though, so it doesn't work too well here.

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Call of Donkey Kong

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Story time with Uncle Reznov

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We begin our first snow mission and also get introduced to Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

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Reznov after paying a visit to GD, what a pussy.

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We find some sexy V2 rockets and look for more inside some magical ship stranded in the middle of frozen sea while Tweedledee entertains the natives with his tricks.

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Our hero goes back to Vietnam.

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Killing all those ping pongs pleases Stratos and we get some deliciously cool rain as a reward.

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Our hero is tasked with removing a rat problem in some tunnels.

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After our random g.i.joe friend gets owned, uncle Reznov shows up to lend us a hand

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This is so stupid, is there any game that uses actual chemical weapons instead of making up some grimdark bullshit murder gas in a can? Mustard gas has all the murder and mutilation you could ever need.

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Big bad mister interrogator man doesn't like us and I think he's just jelly of our soviet prison waifu.

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I'd shoot their fucking balls off but the game took away my shooting privileges for this segment.

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CHEESE! :D

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Bad, Mason, bad! *pats his head with a newspaper*

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We find a crashed chopper but it's completely worthless otherwise, no skinned bodies hanging around or anything.

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Reznov, the Stalingrad veteran soviet commando extraordinaire, so hardcore nobody dares to complain about him following us everywhere.

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Is that Vietnam or is that the Lost World? Speaking of which I am really pissed that there are no monster shooters anymore. People fucking love this shit! I don't know about any game with shooting dinosaurs beside Dino Crisis series(which got murdered by some extra shitty third sequel AFAIK) and Turok(at least the remake, didn't play either, only seen some videos). Same goes for proper monsters, weren't there dozens of Doom knockoffs back in the day and now... serious business commando is da shit!? -_-

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We find our target, a plashed crane with suspicious unknowns.

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We find nothing cool to loot, ITZ A TRAP, have some fun with grenade launcher and reunite with our loving Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Now that I think about it, they're pretty fucking shitty if it took them around 20 years just to make that murder gas viable in tropics. Also, why would chemical weapon work differently on people in different climate zones? It should have no biological difference.

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Action switches to a random douchebag in a spyplane and we have to play lemmings commando.

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Back to the winter wonderland, fuck yes!

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Speaking of blunt weapons, I happen to have in my possessions a pretty damn unique(I think) and ultra cool solid steel hatchet with very hard plastic/rubber grip. What's unique about it is that it is around 30 years old and has "Made in USSR" written on it. In english. It's a Soviet era made hatchet intended for sale in the west...

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Why the fuck would I switch to explosive bolts when switching back to assault rifle is much faster than reloading a fucking crossbow. I want drum magazine crossbow from that Van Helsing movie with Hugh Jackman

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We plunder enemy's base and find some ominous goodies.

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And now for something completely different.

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Treyarch loves to fuck around, there's even proper combat chopper level in this game

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Reznov just won't stfu about his summer camp bullies while we find some clues

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Black Op's already annoying split personality disorder culminates in a mission where not only gameplay but even narrative itself gets spliced in two. First part with little hatchet(you can't really put it to any fun use sadly) has you play as Mason and Reznov going to get back at the bullies while the second has you play as the cruel crossbowman CIA assaulting the same base but looking for murder gas.

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Later in the mission narratives collide and what was known becomes spelled out. I didn't made any particularly relevant screenies to actual finale of the mission so you'll have to do without.

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Gore? Check. Blood pools? NOPE

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Fffffff, the plot twist is too much! Our CIA hero is the big bad interrogator man!

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CIA tries to get all up close and personal, touchy feely...

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But Mason has different idea

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We take a trip down memory lane while tripping all over some secret military complex

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Smokes machine beckons us to our destiny

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We recall our therapy session in the gulag and Nazi scientist admiring our strength while staring directly at our dick, you can see Tweedledee is clearly weirded out.

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Our LSDKBG trip culminates with LIFDOFF(they reused one of the earlier rocket starts and you can stay there and watch it full, though insanity effects are getting in the way)

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If you pause the game, you'll find out we got pretty complicated objectives in this trippy mission

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Reznov shows up to gives us a helping hand...

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But CIA catches up to us and drags us back into the reality at a gunpoint

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This bald fag with a slice across his face is a shitty stand in for Kuato, but our hero still manages to take one last deep trip down his memory lane and...

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Second and last chopper mission, weee!

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Bwahaha, our default loadout on a mission to save the USA is fucking MAC-10 smg, where the fuck is rotfl emoticon when you need one?

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Reminds me of that one mission in Deus Ex... and reminds me I could be playing it or The Nameless Mod...

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Aziz, LIGHT!

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Tweedledum confesses his feelings, but Mason already has CIA hero and imaginary soviet friend vying for his rabid hole so Mason refuses and leaves. I almost cried

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Our super commando training makes it a trivial thing to swim back to surface from half a mile deep underwater base

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:patriot:

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I graciously await the end of credits and...

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The game rewards me with finally getting the story up to the level of its gameplay.

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Given it's supposedly extreme popularity and multitude of dlc I think Black Ops multiplayer is really fun. I've seen a trailer for deathmatches on the moon and some futuristic guns. Not sure if any of those dlc were released on pc, though...

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The proper story of Black Ops is very simple: it is a Fight Club ripoff with soviet brainwashing instead of middle age angst, vietnam shitheads instead of penguins, CIA guy as the babe and Reznov as the Durden.

To be continued in Black Ops 2 with drone and cinematics overload, starting inventory customization and C&C!