Review The Escapist bitch-slaps The Witcher

[Futile Rhetoric]

When someone bludgeons my face closing my eyes doesn't really help. My logic fails me, OH NO!

That's why we invented Internet. I thought everyone knew this. Sheesh.

"We" didn't, Al Gore did.

 

[Herbert West]

When someone bludgeons my face closing my eyes doesn't really help. My logic fails me, OH NO!

That's why we invented Internet. I thought everyone knew this. Sheesh.

"We" didn't, Al Gore did.

Yes, and also sliced bread, beer, jakuzi, D&D, sex, light bulbs and gravity

 

[caliban]

No, heh did not. He STOLE it from us, yess. He stole our preciouss.

 

[Nael]

When someone bludgeons my face closing my eyes doesn't really help. My logic fails me, OH NO!

That's why we invented Internet. I thought everyone knew this. Sheesh.

"We" didn't, Al Gore did.

Yes, and also sliced bread, beer, jakuzi, D&D, sex, light bulbs and gravity

Don't forget his most profitable invention to date: GLOWBALL WARMING!!!

/doom

 

[sqeecoo]

What elements? I just close my eyes. If you can't see it then it doesn't exist. It's simple, really

edit: Well, it's another thing if I'm the object of violence. When someone bludgeons my face closing my eyes doesn't really help. My logic fails me, OH NO!

Someone can make you his or her sex object even if you have your eyes closed.

 

[Herbert West]

What elements? I just close my eyes. If you can't see it then it doesn't exist. It's simple, really

edit: Well, it's another thing if I'm the object of violence. When someone bludgeons my face closing my eyes doesn't really help. My logic fails me, OH NO!

Someone can make you his or her sex object even if you have your eyes closed.

Sex is good. Violence is bad... Add the two and things cancel each other out... right?

 

[caliban]

Oh, now you're saying this... but imagine falling prey to some furfag's 'surprise yiff'. Let's put your resolve to the test - I believe Cedric will be eager to help with this little experiment

 

[DraQ]

Sex is good. Violence is bad... Add the two and things cancel each other out... right?

Coldharbour.

 

[Herbert West]

Oh, now you're saying this... but imagine falling prey to some furfag's 'surprise yiff'. Let's put your resolve to the test - I believe Cedric will be eager to help with this little experiment

As long as he beats me in the process I'll be fine, like nothing has ever happened. At least according to My Theory [R].

 

[Cassidy]

I guess someone just escaped from Codex to avoid the heat... once again facts prove that the Internets is serious business. It's like the human digestion "escape tube" folks, if you know what I mean. It is great for improving agrarian landscapes with plenty of residual material to build fertilizers, with Runescapists being one of the main producing areas of that, I presume. And of course, people who are bothered and try to clean all the fertilizer material need to be kicked out, or their minds from which something different escape will change the status quo of the escape tube of the large fertilizer industries of the Internets. None of those brothers remain there then and all the lickers of the fertilizer bow to their ExCEOment

I don't like to give numeric ratings to certain games, but I only become assured of a game worth after I find it interesting enough to at least a replay and after two playthroughs at least. And neither I would rate a game higher just because I got it for free.

 

[caliban]

Of course he won't! Cedric is very sensitive and gentle, he'll treat you right, baby

 

[Nael]

I guess someone just escaped from Codex to avoid the heat... once again facts prove that the Internets is serious business. It's like the human digestion "escape tube" folks, if you know what I mean. It is great for improving agrarian landscapes with plenty of residual material to build fertilizers, with Runescapists being one of the main producing areas of that, I presume... (blah, blah, blah)

Aaaaaaaaaaaannnd-You lost me.

 

[caliban]

Why? Don't you like irrelevant rants that add nothing new to the discussion and are posted long after it has calmed down?

 

[Herbert West]

Why? Don't you like irrelevant rants that add nothing new to the discussion and are posted long after it has calmed down?

It is called thread necrophilia and it's a positive and exciting activity.

 

[cazsim83]

I never played the game but i think ur pretty dumb and ur friends too. I dont think it sends any message it's just how a fictional character acts in a fictional universe.The only thing it shows that Geralt is a chauvinist pig. A story with perfect and politically correct characters would be boring and predictable. lol noob

Please.....stop posting. tee hee hee u noob u roxxorz u no. Just go play Oblivion and leave RPGCodex alone.

 

[Serious_Business]

I never played the game but i think ur pretty dumb and ur friends too. I dont think it sends any message it's just how a fictional character acts in a fictional universe.The only thing it shows that Geralt is a chauvinist pig. A story with perfect and politically correct characters would be boring and predictable. lol noob

Please.....stop posting. tee hee hee u noob u roxxorz u no. Just go play Oblivion and leave RPGCodex alone.

 

[Ausir]

This was back when the game was just released. If I'd known it wasn't going to press right away, I would have taken more time with the game.

Anyway, the patch wasn't out then. So no, I didn't run it with the patch.

I didn't read the whole thread yet, but huh? This is bullshit. The Witcher was released in Europe on 25 October. Patch 1.1 was released on 26 October. Patch 1.1a was released on 27 October. The Witcher was released in the US on 30 October.

 

[Paranoid Jack]

This was back when the game was just released. If I'd known it wasn't going to press right away, I would have taken more time with the game.

Anyway, the patch wasn't out then. So no, I didn't run it with the patch.

I didn't read the whole thread yet, but huh? This is bullshit. The Witcher was released in Europe on 25 October. Patch 1.1 was released on 26 October. Patch 1.1a was released on 27 October. The Witcher was released in the US on 30 October.

Yes, the fact that the author has a lite grasp of reality has been discussed in length. :wink:

 

[Wilco]

For an 80+ hour game, I don't think 10% is even close enough to give a full evaluation of the Witcher. I'm quite amazed that you could sit through games like G3 and especially NWN "multiple times" and you couldn't at least pass Act 1 in The Witcher. Surely, now that you've received some pretty harsh criticism, you would at least attempt to play beyond the first chapter.

Somehow, I don't think it was any technical issue that put you off from playing the Witcher, it was more the fact that it was too much of a bizarre, dark and cynical world for your liking (ie: the entire section on the objectification of women). I mean, it puts many modern social connotations and issues of today in the context of a medieval fantasy world - that's nothing we've seen in any of the games you mention in your 'experience' list.

Regardless, I understand the time constraints of the job, Good luck for the future.

 

[Balor]

Well, remember, he got prerelease copy. So he can play the game at length before it actually hit the shelves and provide educated opinion right after the release.

T-T-T-TRIPLE FAIL!

 

[Darkflame]

Alright men I'm here, what did I miss?


EDIT: You assholes lure me out here for some idiot who thinks Witcher would be better if the women gave you inoffensive little quests where you wash their dishes while they fuck you with a medieval strap-on? Add to this some obtuse insight from a subnormal Bethesda moderator who thinks Oblivion is the second best thing to his recent first hard-on, and we've now exceeded 10 pages worth of search-terms drawing worthy attention to this worthless "review".

When Ultima X comes out next year (courtesy Bethesda), don't say I didn't warn you. They already know just how popular you'd make them.

 

[RK47]

...umm that is one franchise that i dont mind Beth rapes....Ultima is already raped and whored out by EA. Let the UX: Age of Consolization begin.

WHERE IS LORD BRITISH -Avatar01
GUYZ CHECK OUT MY DOMINO DROP IN THE THRONE ROOM! -DOMINOBLIVION007
DUDE, THIS CLOUD SWORD MOD IS UBER, MY AVAATAR IS SEXY!

 

[Elwro]

A fellow patriot continues to fight for the good cause:

http://blog.pjsattic.com/corvus/2007/11 ... ment-79161

Sorry if everyone's bored with the issue already.

 

[Brother None]

A fellow patriot continues to fight for the good cause:

http://blog.pjsattic.com/corvus/2007/11 ... ment-79161

Sorry if everyone's bored with the issue already.

I'm bored with it.

Besides, isn't that a Polish person? You can't take Polish people seriously when discussing the Witcher.

Srsly. :codexdevil:

Looks like Corvus is adapting the Escapist official policy towards criticism and sticking his head in the sand, though. No matter.

 

[Corvus.E]

Inviting people to comment here (and providing a link) or to email me directly and be assured a personal response is sticking my head in the sand, Brother None?

Wow. Maybe you are just a troll. Well, it worked. I commented.