Transvestite dwarf sex confirmed in Dragon Age...

[Melcar]

Hey VD, AOD needs to have trannies now. You think that will add to it's development cycle even more?

 

[Vault Dweller]

"its" not "it's", son.

 

[Melcar]

Stop avoiding the question man.

That mistake was a cunning lure anyway.

 

[Vault Dweller]

Well, since the lucrative trannie market has taken the gaming world by storm and grown to the point where it gets its own subforums, we've decided to scrap what we had - which wasn't much to begin with - and make a completely different game, utilizing the existing assets. Our females look like trannies anyway, so it's kind of a no-brainer.

The story will revolve around a boy coming of age and realizing that his penis is evil and must be hacked away. Once you start the hacking mini-game, the evil penis quickly grows multiple heads, which start hitting legs and ass. We call this mini-game HEAVAN.

Once the penis is, uh, no more, the boy becomes a pretty princess and must rescue a magical pony. With the pony in your party, you can enter the magical castle (all expenses paid, 50% off the proceeds) where you'll live with other "princesses" and perform magical but illegal acts with your pony. Naturally, you gain experience, cash, and "improve" your physical attributes.

Mark my words, it will revolutionize the genre.

 

[Melcar]

But where's the C&C?

 

[Secretninja]

I think you are failing to realize the lucrative nature of DLCs. You could release AoD as planned, but each DLC could get you closer to womanhood. For 19.99 US$(99.99 Canadian or AU) you could get a surgery, such as breasts, Spacemoose's personal chin reduction, etc.
You will be rich beyond belief.

 

[racofer]

Hey look, VD has a sense of humor.

 

[Rhalle]

The bit of brothel roulette-- where upon your request you are presented with a dwarf wearing lipstick (or the screen goes dark and you hear a sheep bleat or whatever) might be funny on its own, but the rest of the game will be a Bioware cartoon.

And that is why Dragon Age has the potential to be a disaster of Battlefield Earth proportions: the two (the inevitable Canuck cartoony good-guy PC sincerity and the 'mature' sardonic scatological humor) cannot play on the same playground without the whole looking ridiculous.

The Witcher escaped such a fate through a rather complex series of narrative negotiations-- something Bioware, I'm afraid, is simply not capable of, whatever the reason. But perhaps they will. Be nice if they did.

Talking of whom, what happened to that old bugger?

Warden ran him off with a bunch of ugly personal insults.

I read somewhere that the original use was from a Hemingway novel - For Whom The Bell Tolls. Unsure about that one, though.

Thanks for that. I always assumed it was Carole King.

 

[ricolikesrice]

a good joke would be if the sorcerer chick seen half naked in all the trailers that you can sex up with would turn out to be transvestite dwarf in her original form since "she" s supposed to be some kind of shapeshifer.

so when you fuck her after bringing her some book ... the screen would turn black... only to lighten up and show a nakid dwarf with a huge cock standing behind your pc ready for action.

 

[bat_boro]

Once the penis is, uh, no more, the boy becomes a pretty princess and must rescue a magical pony.

So I guess you will be hiring a certain member of this forum to do the voice acting?

If so, I'm already sold!


Btw, on a serious note, have you put some kind of easter eggs in AoD (not as EXTREME as dwarf cock, I hope) ?

A bunch of stuff ripped of from Martin's world (Gray Wardens)

Wrong writer (Jim Butcher).

I always thought the Gray Wardens are ripped off from Martin's Night Watch. Bioware even cited GRRM as an influence some time ago (when they were determined to let you enslave entire nations with necromancy)

 

[Andhaira]

Bioware likes to keep pushing the envelope. First it was lesbian sex. Now its tranny dwarf sex. Next?

Who knows.

btw why doesn't dgaider post here anymore?

 

[Lesifoere]

Hmmm, in The Witcher characters would tell you that your mother sucks dwarf cock. Now Bioware ups the ante and lets you do it yourself.

:')

 

[Aradesh]

btw why doesn't dgaider post here anymore?

He's become so lazy as a writer, he won't even write posts on the Codex any more.

 

[felicity]

EA: challenge everything.

 

[Ladonna]

This game is starting to sound like the Codex.

 

[Andhaira]

Post pics of yourself Ladonna. Show us the hotness.

 

[Dark Elf]

Has the Codex declined as a consequence of increasingly failing standards in contemporary RPG's or are contemporary RPG's declining because of the increasingly failing standards of the Codex?

 

[Melcar]

It's obvious that trannies are causing the decline.

 

[Dark Elf]

Then surely the solution to the decline is to detranny?

 

[RottingNaziSurfer]

a good joke would be if the sorcerer chick seen half naked in all the trailers that you can sex up with would turn out to be transvestite dwarf in her original form since "she" s supposed to be some kind of shapeshifer.

so when you fuck her after bringing her some book ... the screen would turn black... only to lighten up and show a nakid dwarf with a huge cock standing behind your pc ready for action.