Priceless.
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What did your first PnP group do... horribly wrong?
- Thread starter DavidBVal
- Start date
Priceless.
Saduj
Arcane
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2012
- Messages
- 2,588
My father bought my brothers and me the red box starter set for D&D when I was around eight or nine. My brothers were six and three. Over the next few years, we started several aborted campaigns that never lasted more than one session. Sometimes the neighbor kids were involved, usually not. Always ended in a fist fight. Part of the problem was that we had played Temple of Aphsai on the VIC20 and this was our only frame of reference on how to play D&D. So every campaign was a dungeon crawl where there was a fucking monster or three appearing every few steps because that is what Temple of Apshai was. First level characters running a gauntlet with starting equipment does not make for much fun. The other problem is that me and the middle bro were obnoxious as hell. Usually the DM was just trying to kill the players. Or on the rare occasion where one of us actually wanted to DM a real game, the other one couldn't resist the urge to ruin it by playing like a jackass.
Then one day my father came home with Ultima III and we realized that we never have to talk to each other again. And we all still enjoy playing single player cRPGs to this day.
Then one day my father came home with Ultima III and we realized that we never have to talk to each other again. And we all still enjoy playing single player cRPGs to this day.
Zephyr Arsland
Learned
Silicon killed the paper star.
In our case (my RP group) what almost killed PnP was Magic:The Gathering. It was too easy to play, required no preparation, only two people, as opposed to organizing a PnP game which back then we were in the phase of taking "seriously" (we were playing Vampire)
In one game I DMed, although we were not exactly newbies, the players made a nice blunder that we still laugh at nowadays. They were escorting a young kid (which happened to be a prince, which a rival faction tried to assasinate). So they were travelling with the lad and never once imagined they'd be questioned about it, nor prepared any plausible story.
The first time they stopped in a town, a cleric saw these three foreigners armed to the teeth, with the child following them, and of course confronted them.
-"Where are the parents of this child?" he asked.
And to that, as in perfect coreography, each of the three responded, at the same time:
-"they died" said one
-"we're taking him to them" said another
-"we are his parents" said the third.
So after the cleric's suspicious reaction, one of them fixed things quickly:
-"We were taking him to his parents, but they died, and now we are his parents"
Next scene starts in prison.
The first time they stopped in a town, a cleric saw these three foreigners armed to the teeth, with the child following them, and of course confronted them.
-"Where are the parents of this child?" he asked.
And to that, as in perfect coreography, each of the three responded, at the same time:
-"they died" said one
-"we're taking him to them" said another
-"we are his parents" said the third.
So after the cleric's suspicious reaction, one of them fixed things quickly:
-"We were taking him to his parents, but they died, and now we are his parents"
Next scene starts in prison.
Zephyr Arsland
Learned
HAHAHA! Great.
Reminds me of the "Rum and Marmalade" joke from Monkey Island.
Reminds me of the "Rum and Marmalade" joke from Monkey Island.
- Joined
- May 16, 2008
- Messages
- 18,150
Basically, as a DM I was a bit of a dick. Like, I remember when a thief was trying to enter a house and rolled a 20 to see if the owners sleeping inside would hear him. Rolls a 20, so no. But (I don't remember exactly what this was about) he also had to roll a dice for something luck-related, and rolled a 1. And I decided that rewarding the skill over the luck wouldn't be fun, so he stepped on the dog's tail after entering a difficult to reach window and all hell broke loose. Basically if I could fuck the players over I would. But at least in a fun way. In the years after I would make things easier, and the players were so used to me being a dick that they never really took advantage of the situation. I remember an old and senile wizard casting a long ass spell to seal a cave, which i put in the story so they could pick-pocket him to steal a wand and some coins to start off more easily (it was a new group) and no one did anything, for fear that some terrible stuff happened to them.
aw comeon... this is the Gazebo, people is nice here, ain't them. I promise I won't call you a fag.
DraQ
Arcane
I've been gaming (pnp) for 20+ years but we never had such failures... Probably because both me and my friends were gradually introduced to RPG by older, experienced players...
The only thing I remember was giving my players some uber items I had created, like a longbow which fired magic missile like arrows (with added STR bonus of course) like 100 times x day. Only limitation, can't hurt undead. I still have vivid images of the time our ranger spent like 35 rounds to exhaust the thing in order to finish a combat (said bow was cursed, unremovable and always fired those 100 magical darts first each day before being able to use other ammo).
Lame
The funniest moment I remember are all player related, like one of my friend used to "teleport ahead" in the story:
Me: "After many hours of travel you see the silouhette of a castle, perched atop a distant mountain..."
He (interrupting) "I knock at the door!"
Another, always tried to be the smartest one:
Me :"You find yourself gated into a strange dimension. 3 differently colored suns scorch a landscape of rolling hills and strange trees. The celestial bodies are moving errantly, dawning and setting in an apparently random fashion. After some hours you lose your cognition of time"
He (toughtfully...) "Yes... but.... How many hours passed exactly BEFORE we lost cognition?"
One was what I call a Die Roller , someone who plays PnP only to never, ever RP, always talking in third person. A machine for rolling dices with a character sheet attachment.
Playing Werewolf: the Apocalypse (abridged) : After defeating a pack of Black Spiral Dancers the players pack is at the cairn. During the battle old glories fell, act of heroism were seen and the leadership structure had to change, a good moment for a young pup to shine. Precedently the pack had discovered that the corrupted werewolves were, at least partially, a pawn of a powerful sleeping Vampire (a 5th gen iirc), strong in dominate.
The Die Roller and other ahrouns (warriors) are called to perform a ritualized but still bloody fight, to decide the future pecking order. The Die Roller loses against another PC.
Once his character is alone I call for some down time and talk to him.
Me :"You hear a voice in your mind, sweet and tempting. He simply asks: Do you want power? Do you want the power to defeat your so called "friend"?"
He (actually in first person for the first time ever): "Yes" (<---- let it sink just a minute here, reread the above passage if necessary, none of the above was a secret for them at the time).
He walks back in the room, announces that "his character" wanted a rematch (for sport!) and proceeds to kill the other PC while he's CLEARLY dominated or at least seriously hindered by the vampire's discipline.
The room goes al WTFing and DUDE!ing at the guy and he produces this incredibly silly explanation: He tought the voice was Gaia, and my emphasis on the words "so called friend" had tipped him that she wanted him to kill the other, as he probably was "something nasty". All this is out of character mind you, it's not some fucked up shit that someone made up trying to give RP value to questionable action. He actually believed all that when I asked to talk to him pivately and was supremely butthurt when the rest of the PC&NPC imprisoned him.
The only thing I remember was giving my players some uber items I had created, like a longbow which fired magic missile like arrows (with added STR bonus of course) like 100 times x day. Only limitation, can't hurt undead. I still have vivid images of the time our ranger spent like 35 rounds to exhaust the thing in order to finish a combat (said bow was cursed, unremovable and always fired those 100 magical darts first each day before being able to use other ammo).
Lame
The funniest moment I remember are all player related, like one of my friend used to "teleport ahead" in the story:
Me: "After many hours of travel you see the silouhette of a castle, perched atop a distant mountain..."
He (interrupting) "I knock at the door!"
Another, always tried to be the smartest one:
Me :"You find yourself gated into a strange dimension. 3 differently colored suns scorch a landscape of rolling hills and strange trees. The celestial bodies are moving errantly, dawning and setting in an apparently random fashion. After some hours you lose your cognition of time"
He (toughtfully...) "Yes... but.... How many hours passed exactly BEFORE we lost cognition?"
One was what I call a Die Roller , someone who plays PnP only to never, ever RP, always talking in third person. A machine for rolling dices with a character sheet attachment.
Playing Werewolf: the Apocalypse (abridged) : After defeating a pack of Black Spiral Dancers the players pack is at the cairn. During the battle old glories fell, act of heroism were seen and the leadership structure had to change, a good moment for a young pup to shine. Precedently the pack had discovered that the corrupted werewolves were, at least partially, a pawn of a powerful sleeping Vampire (a 5th gen iirc), strong in dominate.
The Die Roller and other ahrouns (warriors) are called to perform a ritualized but still bloody fight, to decide the future pecking order. The Die Roller loses against another PC.
Once his character is alone I call for some down time and talk to him.
Me :"You hear a voice in your mind, sweet and tempting. He simply asks: Do you want power? Do you want the power to defeat your so called "friend"?"
He (actually in first person for the first time ever): "Yes" (<---- let it sink just a minute here, reread the above passage if necessary, none of the above was a secret for them at the time).
He walks back in the room, announces that "his character" wanted a rematch (for sport!) and proceeds to kill the other PC while he's CLEARLY dominated or at least seriously hindered by the vampire's discipline.
The room goes al WTFing and DUDE!ing at the guy and he produces this incredibly silly explanation: He tought the voice was Gaia, and my emphasis on the words "so called friend" had tipped him that she wanted him to kill the other, as he probably was "something nasty". All this is out of character mind you, it's not some fucked up shit that someone made up trying to give RP value to questionable action. He actually believed all that when I asked to talk to him pivately and was supremely butthurt when the rest of the PC&NPC imprisoned him.
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Old One
Arcane
I was nine or ten the first time I played basic D&D (using the red, soft-cover, beginner book for levels 1-3 - the one with the Erol Otus painting on the cover) with two friends. This would have been 1981 or 1982. I don't remember a whole lot of what happened in the session except that I handed out about 50,000 gp and a bunch of powerful magic items when they defeated (with ease) the monster in the cave.
It was fun though. We all went on to play more in high school. In fact I think one guy still plays, although the other guy and I haven't played in about 25 years.
It was fun though. We all went on to play more in high school. In fact I think one guy still plays, although the other guy and I haven't played in about 25 years.
Neanderthal
Arcane
Had a depressed bloke join our group once, answered an ad in local comic shop, seemed alright but kind of...bit wet and self absorbed. I bet everybody ten to one he'd play a fucking Elf, as usual firmly stuck up his own arse as Elves always are, maybe even a Drow if he lacked imagination. Still give him a chance, not many players around our end. Anyway before game we're givin each other usual shit, you're a cunt, i've fucked your mum, fucking necrophiliac etc. and talk turns to porn because we're all blokes.
Newcomers coming out of his shell a bit, gettin a bit o swill down his neck and in mood, then says. "Looking at porn doesn't do anything for me!"
We all look at each other in amazement, finally I say to him. "Have you tried wanking at same time mate."
All have a good laugh, even him, then he declares he wants to play an Elf. Sometimes your just spot on.
Newcomers coming out of his shell a bit, gettin a bit o swill down his neck and in mood, then says. "Looking at porn doesn't do anything for me!"
We all look at each other in amazement, finally I say to him. "Have you tried wanking at same time mate."
All have a good laugh, even him, then he declares he wants to play an Elf. Sometimes your just spot on.
Glad to hear you're doing well, and good on you for sticking by your gf. Thanks for sharing.
Elves are cool. Too much hate. I'm playing a QUICK 8 / CHA 7 she-elf in Shadowrun atm, I'm a glass cannon with wired rflexes, 7 firearms, 5 Interrogation (I use it for negotiation too...) and a bunch of etiquettes. Even if I'm a jerk most of the time my group loves me (sheer usefulness, I also bring a lot of other skills). I actually died once and they went as far as decline a 500.000 NuYen reward (wich without my cut would have been quite fat a share) to have me resurrected, since I happened to die at the end of an adventure, wich had us bring a powerful artifact to a dragon.
Playing female PCs is also cool, you get a lot of "hidden benefits" from it (that's if your GM isn't totally dense) like that time I was disarmed and at distance, while our troll was surrounded in melee by about half a dozen trolls/orcs. I just kept my cool, waited for my inititive and anounced "I flash them my tits". Our troll and mage did the rest while our rigger exctracted me using a drone just before 3 horny orcs reached me... Good times.
Playing female PCs is also cool, you get a lot of "hidden benefits" from it (that's if your GM isn't totally dense) like that time I was disarmed and at distance, while our troll was surrounded in melee by about half a dozen trolls/orcs. I just kept my cool, waited for my inititive and anounced "I flash them my tits". Our troll and mage did the rest while our rigger exctracted me using a drone just before 3 horny orcs reached me... Good times.
Nah bro. I'm 35 and man enough to know my virility isn't affected by RPG. If you think anything sexual can be related to that, then I'm sad for you...
After reading some of your posts guys, I'm thinking that maybe our group was fine 
I think RPing shows one's true colors, as it often involves choices similar to the ones you face in real life, but with less serious consequences.
Here goes my totally unsolicited, uninformed, out-of-my-ass opinion, because what else can you get in a place like this. Maybe it's just my experience (when I was a kid, this was a very catholic country) but a young girl getting naked in front of a guy? Sounds like she was making a move. An offer, which you rejected consciously or not, to shortly after choose another girl right in front of her. The rest would make a lot of sense then, wouldn't it.
Also, in your place I'd just have stopped meeting all those people, but...
... looks like you did the right thing then. Well done, bro.
I think RPing shows one's true colors, as it often involves choices similar to the ones you face in real life, but with less serious consequences.
Here goes my totally unsolicited, uninformed, out-of-my-ass opinion, because what else can you get in a place like this. Maybe it's just my experience (when I was a kid, this was a very catholic country) but a young girl getting naked in front of a guy? Sounds like she was making a move. An offer, which you rejected consciously or not, to shortly after choose another girl right in front of her. The rest would make a lot of sense then, wouldn't it.
Also, in your place I'd just have stopped meeting all those people, but...
... looks like you did the right thing then. Well done, bro.
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the hell... man, never post when drunk. Kneel for mercy in front of the Scroogess! beg for her mercy!
Hoaxmetal
Arcane
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2009
- Messages
- 9,173
I don't know, Drog. Should you?
Everything should work now again for you.
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