Let's Play ITZCOM: Return of the Cybernegroes (ITZ Back!)

[Cassidy]

I saw some strange cloud formations in the night sky a day. I thought: maybe this is ITZ. Nothing happened so the big ITZ is covering up the end of the world.

Actually I just need an excuse to mention that the next update will be better because I finally remembered again that Abomination keeps recorded "replays" of all missions you finish, making the taking of good screenshots significantly easier. Also, you can shift formations and the member stances between stand, crouched and prone. Such details hint to the fact it was designed as a purely tactical game, with no research or base-building strategic elements like XCOM or Syndicate.

I couldn't stop getting killed by the giant missile-launching whatsits.

The Explosives skill(which lay remote-detonated mines), RPGs and Telepyrokinesis are very useful against them. In mid-game, when they first appear, you should always have at least one team member with a RPG. Sniping them from a distance also works, and finally, they can't climb through rooftops.

*Edit: Going to add the pics from the new team members in this post.

*Edit: All positions filled for now. I don't remember how this game handle losses so I'm unsure if more recruits will be needed.

I hope lefthandblack doesn't mind this, but I had to do it

ghostdog and Garfunkel, for their LP threads, earn two of the three only Nigras remaining, while the other goes to Yeesh because he is the oldest Codexer left. All other choices were more or less random.

 

[Cassidy]

Shii... the replay is buggy and doesn't reflect exactly the enemy behavior, leading to lulzy moments of continuous firefights with nobody dying among other things, but it still was salvageable. Should I stick to using the pause button to take screenshots in game, making it impossible to capture the exact moment of explosions, or should I go the lolwut way and use the "replays" for taking SS?

---------------

The first day after ITZ ends, and a new mission arrives for the best in Cybernegro HQ to perform.

The goal was, in paper, simple, to destroy every naked man drenched in blood running around with machetes in such sector.

Reality was however, different.

Upon arrival, our patriots encounter the scene of a massacre, the Niggers mercilessly slaughter and rape civilians. Wasting no time, they move to stop them.

Sinestris sniper rifle gives the first kill, the battle begins.

A rocket propelled chain-machete is launched by a nigger, this could be very bad if it scores a direct hit.

Nigger fails at aiming, but Garfunkel is wounded by the shrapnel. Also notice how the screenshot got a word very close to Kwa'.

After the battle, no car and machete gang member survives.

The team advances to wipe out the enemies to the north, where resistance is fierce. Another survivor runs desperatedly from ITZ while Sinestris scores another kill with the sniper.

The team doesn't become BBQ because after calculating he was near enough to hit them with a flamethrower, Nigger fails at math.

A grenade is tossed. ghostdog escapes just in time, but still is wounded by the shrapnel. Another horde of ITZ is wiped out.

Moving through south, they engage further enemies. Notice the machete rapist throwing a grenade at point-blank next to ghostdog... of course our patriots run amidst enemy fire to escape from it.

Another close call.

Sinestris sniper rifle gibs an enemy hiding behind the trashed police car into pieces. To avoid being ganged by the hordes, the team, constantly moving, shifts their focus to the northeast, while Sinestris takes a tactically advantageous position to keep sniping machete rapists running amok through the streets.

ghostdog volunteers himself as the bait and charges. Then suddenly...

Fuuuuuuuuuuuu

The first casualty of this hopeless war happens. A sniper takes down Garfunkel with a FMD(Full Metal Dildo) bullet, and he loses his life bravely in his first mission, perhaps part of an ancient curse or reflection from the past, or perhaps some form of poetic justice after sending so many naive patriots to be raped by terrors from the deep. But regardless, he will be missed, dearly.

With him gone, 25% of the Cybernegros were lost. This loss will be very painful... very, very painful, for the mourning of Cybernegros will cause much butthurt.

Garfunkel, Nevar forget.

ghostdog and Kwota advance to take revenge for their fallen patriot.

Justice is done.

Garfunkel corpse lies amidst many corpses of the machete rape gangs.

The cleanup of the west section begins

It's decided to lure them out, so they will become spread apart.

The last firefight from this mission begins.

Victory is ours. After scavenging everything, the survivors carry off Garfunkel's body and return to base.

Sinestris and ghostdog are now #1 and #2 in kill count. Our brave patriot, Garfunkel, is worth much more than five machete rapists. We shall remember you.

However, no time for grievances is given... HQ receives reports of a man named Cleveland Mark Blakemore who left his bunker to investigate further ITZ. It's believed Cleve has gathered critical information and now is being hunted by Machete Rape Gangs. Rescuing him is critical to ensure the survival of what remains of the human race after ITZ.

There is only one quote that can accuratedly describe the urgency of the situation:

"How much chuck would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Say it ten times quickly while you're running from massive explosions and naked men drenched in blood with machetes."

-Cleveland Mark Blakemore

Thus, we must prepare those who aren't butthurt by the Cybernegros mourning to this mission. NOW.

-Cliffhanger-

 

[eklektyk]

awsome

2 times I tried to play this but always got screwd by savegames...

do continue commander.

 

[Chaotic Lulz3r]

I'm a chick :shock: ?

Whatever, I hope my tits are big and my aim is true.

Should I stick to using the pause button to take screenshots in game, making it impossible to capture the exact moment of explosions, or should I go the lolwut way and use the "replays" for taking SS?

If neither is going to be perfect, I prefer the more accurate ones from the actual gameplay.

Edit: This LP is so full of win, it almost gives me a nerdgasm. MOAR!

 

[spekkio]

Reporting for duty, SAH!

also:

 

[ghostdog]

GarfunkeL NEVAR FORGET

 

[lightbane]

Only in death does duty end! So I'll join if I haven't already, these xeno-niggers need to be purified!

 

[Tails]

Art :tearofjoy:

Garfunkel, Nevar forget.

to fallen comrade!

 

[Sinestris]

Rest in Peace, Garfunkel, we shot the bastard through the head.

 

[taplonaplo]

Sign me up, ITZ made of win

 

[pipka]

2 missions. 1 death.
why I have the feeling that niggers will outclass you and you gonna get raped...

 

[Cassidy]

ITZ TIME

No machete rapists anywhere to be seen.

Ominous.

The team makes a cautious advance through the streets.

The first machete gangs are found to the south.

Positions are taken, the slaughter is soon to begin. Lulz3r starts the shootout by tossing a grenade. The rapists escape the poorly thrown grenade however.

While more and more rapists are slaughtered by Azira with a sniper, they attempt a flanking attack, and are mowed by Yeesh's machinegun. Their hordes come from all sides except for the rear.

But again, the organized and well trained patriots overcome their superior numbers and ferocity. No sign of Cleve yet found.

Advancing further to the south, the team finds a dataslate over the ground. It could be Cleve's files. They have critical information about ITZ, but Cleve must return alive as well. While covered by the team, relootz checks it. The revelations are chilling:

The Furfags were part of ITZ!!!

Cybernegro HQ must know it! Cleve must be found alive!

Further south, more machete gangs. To be slaughtered from a distance with a sniper rifle.

One more point for the patriots! Still, no signs of Cleve here. Now to the northwest. There are machetes flying from the rooftops, but nothing stops our heroes. A grenade is tossed with accuracy and hits the rooftop floor, the running niggers are taken down with sniper rifle and machinegun.

Torn to pieces. Time to move to the only section of these streets still unexplored, to the northeast. After a long walk without any opposition. A shocking revelation.

: Hurry up manboons! ITZ won't wait for you in Kwanzania!

Shit! A nigger begins to advance towards Cleve with a machete in hand, and yet, he simply stands there, normally. Why won't he run away? The team hurries up amidst flying machetes, hoping to avoid it.

They lure the nigger away from Cleve just in time, as legions encroach. Relootz delivers the killing blow at point-blank range.

Everybody begans to fire against the incoming niggers. They fall once again. Another victory for Cybernegro HQ and Cleve's Bunker Security Forces. However, they could be setting a trap.

Wisely, Azira, now armed with an AK-47 for the sniper ran out of ammunition, and Yeesh, advance cautiously to clean house. The last pockets of resistance, smearing themselves against the Humvee, are eliminated. Now it's safe for the team to return to the vehicle with Cleve.

Mission Accomplished once again.

: I found the Heart of ITZ, from the big conspiracy. This is the location of ITZ HQ. Hurry up manboons and assault this place lest nothing survives ITZ.

And thus, the next mission, now that so many revelations came about ITZ, would be to storm a headquarters. Expectedly, it wouldn't be easy.

 

[eklektyk]

go team go
<awaiting chance to kill for Codexia>

 

[GarfunkeL]

A sniper takes down Garfunkel with a FMD(Full Metal Dildo) bullet, and he loses his life bravely in his first mission, perhaps part of an ancient curse or reflection from the past, or perhaps some form of poetic justice after sending so many naive patriots to be raped by terrors from the deep.

So true.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Also, this is fucking awesome LP. I hope you don't run out of material anytime soon!

 

[Murk]

oh god i remember being raped at this when i was a kid trying it out -- couldn't remember the name of the game for a long while.

good show cassidy, good show

 

[Chaotic Lulz3r]

Their hordes come from all sides except for the rear.

of hordes.

Lulz3r: Cultists Eliminated: 1

of Lulz3r .

 

[Fowyr]

This is AWESOME LP. And thank you for informing me about this fine game.

 

[Azira]

While more and more rapists are slaughtered by Azira with a sniper, [...]
Further south, more machete gangs. To be slaughtered from a distance with a sniper rifle. [...]
the running niggers are taken down with sniper rifle and machinegun. [...]
Wisely, Azira, now armed with an AK-47 for the sniper ran out of ammunition, and Yeesh, advance cautiously to clean house. The last pockets of resistance, smearing themselves against the Humvee, are eliminated. Now it's safe for the team to return to the vehicle with Cleve.

Mission Accomplished once again.

*salutes smartly*

Line 'em up, and I'll pick them off, one by one. Until I run out of ammo.

 

[Luzur]

did i go on R&R?

 

[Yeesh]

I'm telling you, they're like giant spiders or bugs or maybe dinosaurs and they shoot fucking missiles! You've got to stay frosty out there... or it's our asses. All of our sweet, succulent asses.

 

[Cassidy]

The machete rape gangs have been building HQs all through the city. ITZ Time. But first, perhaps it should be wise to request some equipment.

Grenades work wonders against hordes of enemies. Ignore the "Out", I was just checking it. It was ordered for 30 grenades to be sent from HQ.

Other purchases included adrenalizers and sniper ammunition.

With one space left since our brave patriot GarfunkeL died, a new recruit is sought. There are only four people available for recruiting, for there is not an infinite pool of cannon fodder here. The only way to get more recruits in this game is by keeping the military guys that appear in some missions alive through it, which is anything but easy

spekkio joins the team.

: Kwan Manboons! ITZ everywhere! There is more than one Headquarters of ITZ in Kwanzania to be faced.

The first target of many is chosen. Search and destroy, simple in theory... but in practice...

The first contact is make through the west.

The team splits in two, taking tactical positions to face what are definitively legions of machete gangs. eklektyk is the sniper now.

spekkio throws a grenade against them.

Combined with the car explosion, it slaughters everything in its vicinity. But relootz and Luzur are attacked from the south

relootz begins to take heavy fire and retreats.

Dropping a gift from above. But it bounces away from the crowd.

A Machete Rape Gang leader is behind the niggers. His machinegun rips through the place. spekkio throws another grenade, and this time it lands where it should.

A beautiful slaughter occurs.

The leader of the machete gang is killed. A swarm of furious niggers charge against the team. Relootz capture a machinegun, gets down and fires

The other team members advance to support relootz. Luzur throws another grenade.

What the? Could those crates be filled with babymeat? Or is that something else? Before thinking about WTF was that disgusting flesh, the team, with no moment to rest, now is greeted by a new horde of niggers. This seems borderline insane. They come from almost all directions, and no matter what is done, they keep coming.

To provide cover for both him, relootz and spekkio, Luzur uses his übermensch power, generating a forcefield to cover their left flank.

Another machete rapists launches a RPCM against the team, but it misses very badly, hitting the ground between him and the team instead.

The first engagement in this mission, which has been so far nonstop, finally ends. The team is splattered in blood and gore. This is the old shit...

卐 THIS IS THE NEW SHIT 卐

With the area clear, the team moves cautiously through the alleys towards southeast, making contact with another part of the niggers. A grenade is thrown to lure them.

Luzur projects another shield. At this point ekletyk ran out of sniper ammo and is using another machinegun.

They keep coming.

They are overwhelming. spekkio uses the taxi for cover, but they are encroaching with their machetes and dicks. If they come too close, eklektyk would be an easy target because of being prone.

Thus getting up, and throwing another grenade against the niggers.

Another mass slaughter scene apparently is over.

Nothing more comes.

Checking the map, it becomes clear most of the area has been wiped out, except for the southwest. The team cautiously begin an advance.

Along the way, a strange phallic artifact is found. It is destroyed.

The team makes its way to a tower, the elevated position will give them a tremendous advantage in accuracy, but the lack of cover could hurt. The niggers are all but slaughtered, at the cost of Luzur and relootz becoming significantly wounded by the firefight. The too other team members, still healthy, carefully advance in search of the last niggers, destroying the babymeat crates along the way.

The last part of ITZ here is taken down in the same place where the first, greatest slaughter happened. Mission complete.

Can you spot the difference between this and the previous debriefings?

And thus, the first ITZ HQ is destroyed, but there are many others yet left...

 

[eklektyk]

pure awsomness

and : For Codexia!

 

[spekkio]

Fuck Yeah!

I'm as awesome as expected.