Chapter 9: Aimlessness Never Felt So Purposive
Another update, another image-hosting dealio. Might go back to photobucket again after I get past whatever stuck a stick up their ass, because imageshack is a real pain. Maybe I should...*gasp*...buy hosting? Nah....
On with the show, and into the most dangerous wilderness area in the game...the basilisk lair. It's home to critters that can turn your party to stone, essentially killing them in one shot. It's a pain without the requisite protections.
:We have those...right?
:Just what I've always wanted...my own pet festering, flesh-eating, corpse. Why do I always run into these freaks?
We haste the ghoulie, and have Coran go stealth to observe his progress.
Ghouls are immune to petrification and can paralyze. Big, dumb lizards don't stand a chance.
Except when they gang up on him.
:Sucks to be him. So what happens to an undead when it dies...again?
This is Shar-Teel, the ultra-feminist fighter. Does Shepard need to choke a bitch (by grabbing her collar)?
:Gotta keep your pimp hand strong...
What happened between these two frames is anyone's guess. This was Shar-Teel getting booted immediately from the party. We're keeping an even bros to ho ratio here. And keeping the "canonical" party, save for Khalid, cause he sucks.
Drink a potion, be immune to gaze attacks, kill some lizards.
:If it's a potion of "Mirrored Eyes", then why doesn't it reflect the gaze back at them? Cheap-ass potion...
Killin' a big lizard now, and scoring a ton of experience from all this reptile slaying. Lesser ones are worth 1.4 k apiece, and greater ones are a whopping 7k. To put it in perspective a kobold is 7 xp, an ogre is 270 xp, a freaking wyvern is 1.4k, and the only four things that give out more xp are the endboss of BG and three super monsters from the expansion. Yeah...these badboys don't come off a most powerful vanquished list for awhile.
:Uh, huh. Another death threat....just like the last five hundred wannabes. And what's with the hissing? Really? Reptile lover with accentuated ess sounds?
Cliched fate for a cliched foe.
:That's what you think. I know I get nothing for helping you stop being such a stoner, but through the power of EXTREME metagaming, I get a valuable reputation point that will save me money buying more sharp objects and explosives.
Here a group of adventurers taunts Shepard and his crew. Bad idea.
The typical disabling spells are loosed. Their leader appears to be a Fighter/Mage, as she cast a Mirror Image spell on herself. Some Flinds (stronger blue gnolls) also came along, but they're no worry.
Trivia time: There are actually no, non-tutorial, Fighter/Mage NPCs in all of Baldur's Gate.
Eventually only the leader is left, entangled and helpless.
:You said something about a big sword and your ass right?
We can only assume MWSnap, the screenshot utility, censored the gratuitous violence. Or it just sucks at capturing images. Whatever...I'm open to suggestions for a good, BG-compatible screenshot taker.
From the leader of the opposing party we find a scroll of Dire Charm and a nice girdle that protects against slashing attacks.
:You know I'm really not that much of a hothead...I goaded them to fight in a calculated move to score this loot.
And that's why Shepard is Chaotic Good.....
Here we encounter some basilisks, without the benefit of protection. Coran and Jaheira quickly get stoned. Those dirty, elf-hippies....
Monster spam to the rescue! And that's enough of this area.
And now onto one of the last "wilderness" area. The farms south of Baldur's Gate. We're almost finally to the namesake city.
:Huh...this kid seems alright. Hope he does alright in the world. Wouldn't mind seeing him again someday...
Yes...that's some far-seeing foreshadowing.
:Browbeat a priestess of an evil sea goddess for some fishermen? Magical weapon? Sounds like an everday, normal questline.
In this area of the game, ankhegs are around. They are giant green insects that burrow around and spit damaging acid at your party. They're pretty nasty for lower level parties, and if they burrow behind your formation, can really easily kill mages.
Another quest.
:Aaaaaaaand nobody here ever noticed this gaping chasm here? Nobody?
Inside is a small tunnel with a bunch of ankhegs.
Some sweet loot is also here, along with the farmer's dead son.
:You know...they really need to find a better method of aeration than using enormous, deadly, man-eating beats. "Oh but there's a food shortage coming". No shit lady...all your farmers are going to be dead. Try finding food then!
:Hey...it's just 100 gold...I pull that much out of an ogre's innards. I'm not going soft or anything.
:But seriously...how do we carry tens of thousands of gold...all without any encumbrance?
:No. We actually killed most of the population. Fuck those chitinous cunts and fuck you irresponsible game warden!
Note: She doesn't actually check past the fact that you've killed a couple ankhegs. The response is always the same. Kill to your hearts content, and sell their hides for some nice gold rewards. Then get armor made of them (second best in the original game).
Almost to the city now.
This is the priestess. Yeah...the dialogue makes no sense temporally. Somethin' done gone wrong.
Yep...we were just beating up a little girl whose mother was killed for a fancy bowl to "summon water elementals". That's pretty....EXTREME!
:Damn...this whole place is completely batshit. I hope Baldur's Gate itself is a little more normal.
It's not.
:100 gold? Is that all you think I'm worth? Gimme the bowl you damn stoners!
:You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...
Sorry guys...no Hulk Shepard....at least not yet.
Bowl acquired.
:Oh...it actually looks like a ceremonial dish used to summon water elementals...not something else.
:So does this mean I'll be sure to have safe passages over the seas?
Yeah...sure thing...
Let's recap this quest, shall we?
-Fisherman tell us to stop evil priestess.
-Priestess turns out to be a child, whose mother was killed by the fishermen.
Here they had an interesting set-up. They could have made a pretty morally ambiguous questline in which some fishermen, perhaps rightfully, killed a priestess of an evil sea goddess who was tormenting them, but couldn't kill the child for some reason. There could be a conflict between fishermen trying to preserve their lifestyles against a bitchy priestess and a child who just is following the credo she was raised by. Could be interesting. Instead, the fishermen are evil devil worshipers and it turns into a fetch quest. Potential blown.
Although there are some "long term" consequences as a silver lining. Helping Tenya can let you bypass giving up a very powerful item as part of a (essentially) main quest piece later in the game. Killing her doesn't seem to do much however. Consequences....not.
Finally...entering Baldur's Gate.
Oh wait...more distractions...
Actually, it's some main-questy stuff...for now.
This is Scar, our main man for most of the happenings in Chapter 5. He pays extremely well, and doesn't treat you like complete shit, probably making him one of the best quest givers in the game.
:Yeah...I like him...I hope things work out for him...can he be a party member? And hey...finally no more random wilderness....
SURPRISE!
AND YOU THOUGHT THE WILDERNESS WAS DONE HUH?!?!?!
And here be zombies. Zombies are like skeletons, pitifully weak undead that can be displaced with a few light hits. In fact, they're weaker than skeletons in a lot of ways, as they only resist blunt weapons, as opposed to slashing and piercing, they can't wield weapons, and are much slower.
More zombie slaying. Groovy.
And here is your reward for killing all the zombies. Why they put such a low-level area that can only be accessed after clearing the Cloakwood is truly beyond me. This would be so much more suitable for 1st level characters than...well...most of the game.
You know I'm not sure if there should be a [Low Intelligence] tag next to those lines, or a [Troll] tag.
: Considering I have 18 intelligence...I'm leaning [Douchebag]. Also this guy is terrible...hope I never meet him again. Gives me the creeps...like some kinda carney freak.
Finally, the city of Baldur's Gate.
:I swear if I hear "You have been waylaid by monsters and must defend yourself!"...people are going to be seriously hurt.
:What's with the cryptic talk about "overcoming what's bred in the bone" and "Gorion raised me well"? Hmmmmmm?
:"Bad blood?" "Overcoming my lineage?" Yeah...I'm not gonna take anymore of this.
:Uh...thanks for the advice...no thanks for the verbal abuse though......douchebag. Doesn't he realize that we have goblins, orcs, and black elves to hate in Faerun?
Here we meet a contact of the Thieves' Guild. This starts off a couple quests, and opens up a few cool items and a very nice shop. There's almost no reason not to accept.
The password....it's 12345.
Hello +1 Dexterity boost.
:I'll take even more chance to hit with my bow, thank you very much.
Here's a fellow who serves as one of the many plot hooks to direct you towards the Iron Throne, and the endgame of Chapter 5. If you don't follow Scar's route, either this man, or (if you have Xzar/Montaron) a Zhent group will clue you in as well.
Here's the scoop: the Thieves' Guild has been contracted by a power group, The Mages of Halruaa, to steal back the components and recipe for making their famed airships. They, apparently, are short on hands, and subcontract the deed out to you. You have to break into an estate, get the components, and bring them back.
If this sounds fishy...it's because it is. Notice that mage-looking guy back there...he's a rep of the Halruaan magi. Now why would you admit to sub-contracting a bunch of random people off the street in front of your employer?
Here's another questline in the Thieves' Guild; working for the lieutenant, Narlen Darkwalk. He's a real thieves' thief, and talks complete incomprehensible babble AKA thieves' cant. Of course, any character can talk it right back to him, not just thieves. But for flavor reasons, Coran will be handing these missions.
:Sneaking really isn't my thing. And plus, while I speak 5 languages, including jive, I can not understand this guy. Common motherfucker, do you speak it?
Outside, a wizard gives us a job to capture a nymph from another mage.
:Ragefast? Ragefast? What kinda name is that? It's like naming your kid Rejoiceslow or something.
Or calling your kid Motherfucker.
Alrighty. First Narlen mission: standing guard. You send the thief alone to stand guard, and alert them if anyone comes by.
A Flamer Fist shows up, and you should spring the alarm, which will cause him to attack you. Alternatively, you can do nothing, or turn Narlen in. Both end the questline.
Now you are going to steal a Rogue Stone, a very valuable gem.
This time, you actually get to do something.
Move silently, disarm the alarm, pick the lock, and use stupid dialogue lines that somehow work. Congrats.
And those are Narlen's quests. Not exactly brilliantly designed, but a touch up from the usually go here; kill that affair. The thievery quests are actually kind of a nice change of pace. Too bad they all are rammed into Baldur's Gate, and none come beforehand.
:And uh...yeah...I am not sucking any monkey.
Now to the real job.
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First, we get into Oberon's estate without alerting the guards. Charisma comes in handy here, though sneaking works. Don't ask why she lets heavily armed housekeepers join her staff though.
:We look "migrant" enough? We're going to really fight those dust bunnies? I dunno.
The man of the house.
It looks like 3 mages are guarding the top floor.
Decision time....how will Shepard and crew solve this? Heads up...this choice has consequences.
A.) Play it out like Shepard: The Dark Project...except using Coran.
B.) Talk it out...because that always works in Baldur's Gate...
C.) "I need bodybags...lots of them" EXTREME method!
D.) kingcomrade
Choose up Codex, because that's where I am right now.
