Witcher fanboys: the emporer is nakey.

[spacemoose]

Characters are weak.

What are you talking about? Geralt and company are fucking ripped.

qft. how does it feel to get your ass handed to you, undead penguin fucker

 

[Texas Red]

Elric, as I said before, is a total emo whimpy boy. He is nothing like Geralt. While Geralt is an action hunk, Elric goes around being depressed for no reason at all. What they have in common is that both are writer's alter egos. Some kind of a unique features, such as red eyes or white hair, is a dead giveaway where the author tries to symbolize that he is special.

An average situation with Elric:

*hot chick comes in*

*hot chick goes slobbering all over Elric*

*Elric sits brooding and mostly ignores her. Finally he says: "Oh, let's have sex, k?!"

*hot chick rides Elric*

There was a situation where some Queen tried to capture Elric because no man has surpassed his sexual prowess .

Another book by Michael Moorcock though, Behold a Man, brought emoism to the new levels.

 

[AdrianWerner]

. It's a glorified adventure game, and not even a very good one at that.

that makes as much sense as saying Warcraft3 is RPG

 

[Lyric Suite]

I haven't played the Witcher, therefore i'm not going to direct any criticism towards it, but i must say that I for one wasn't impressed with some of the reasons the Codex seems to use to exalt this game. The pre-supposed mature dialog and setting (are you teh racist?/cunt into dicks lol), the potion/alchemy thingy (who gives a fuck?), the consolish action. None of this strikes me as something worthy Codex standards. You faggots are doing a piss poor job at advertising this game.

 

[Gay-Lussac]

I agree with some of what the OP said. It's kind of ridiculous that things like this (from the VD fake interview about mass effect)...:
"he's already proven himself, so you don't have to. We've already created a fantastic and extreme character for you, so forget about developing your character - just load the game and enjoy the ride."
...Are said about about Mass Effect and everyone laughs about it and agrees but some people here praise the Witcher (or at least doesn't complaint) for being the same way just because it has almighty C&C.

There's also the fact that people keep mocking the lesbian sex scene (like it is something graphic for people to masturbate about) while the Witcher sex cards are simply called juvenile by some and left alone by others even though they're even worst than the sex scene since they're almost not even optional as one-dimensional certified badass geralt humps everything he sees.We all know chicks really dig long haired yellow eyed albinos.

EDIT: Oh and please stop using the argument that the writing sucks because it's poorly transtlated. I mean, good for the poles and CD projekt, but face it everyone who doesn't speak polish is going to have to read through those delicious dialogues (not to mention listen to them) that make you want to eat your own balls.

 

[Darkflame]

I had written most of this post in the disappointments thread, so it might sound somewhat disjointed.

The Witcher. Dunno how anyone can say this is an RPG and Final Fantasy isn't and keep a straight face. It's a glorified adventure game, and not even a very good one at that. Story is weak. Characters are weak. Writing is godawful. There is nothing mechanically interesting about the game (gear is standardized, there is no character specialization as you can just buy everything with the amount of skill points that are thrown at you). I care nothing about the characters or story and simultaneously have no interest in improving Geralt's abilities or searching for phat lewt or something equally Monty Haul to maintain, at very least, my inner child's interest.

I have no fucking idea why this turd is the lap dog of the community this year, aside from it being Polish and thus edgy and indie. Geralt is the exact same character the hardcore community (myself included) make fun of in JRPGs -- the stoic, cursed/blessed, hardass but emotional, long-white-haired mutant ninja/superwarrior. It's just bizarre to be laughing with the rest of you at the next big-eyed anime bullshit 'RPG' and then suddenly be the only one laughing at the exact same archetype, except now it's Polish and hey I heard there were some novels and no I haven't read any of them because I can't read a word of fucking Polish but since there are novels I guess that means this game can magically get away with all the lame bullshit I would mock if it was made by slants instead of sexually repressed dweebs in wooden shoes.

I mean seriously, the incomprehensible story? The action/adventure combat? The fucking tacky/corny sex cards? The JRPG stereotypical Geralt himself? Christ, it's a Polish Mass Effect. Except for some reason everyone can tell Mass Effect is a pretty bad RPG, and yet completely miss the point when it comes to the Witcher.

I mean, it'd make sense if you loved both The Witcher and Mass Effect. You enjoy shitty action/adventure games and like to hang out on RPGCodex and pretend to be a big boy. That's fine, I hear Volourn is going to have a smashing Christmas party (after all, in the immortal words of... Major Blackheart, was it? 'Everyone is a girl face-down') .

I don't get this either/or bullshit though. Frankly I think it's because you probably do like both games because you have no taste, except to sit at the big boy table you need to (rightfully) bash Bioware, so you do it to fit in and secretly fap to the lesbian alien sex scene, of which you have a savegame right before, just as often as you do to the naughty Witcher sex cards (and you bought the International version so you could see the nippies and some bush). That or you haven't even played Mass Effect because it's an "action/adventure" game, and those suck, but hey guys the Witcher is totally an RPG and totally GOTY!!!~

Quite frankly, I am disgusted to be a hardcore RPG fan this year.

You're fat and wrong.

 

[MasPingon]

From what I have heard Mass Effect is very similar game, but this critisism..

It's a glorified adventure game, and not even a very good one at that. Story is weak. Characters are weak. Writing is godawful. There is nothing mechanically interesting about the game

..is just retarded and childish. You are the same as Witcher fanboys in getting the facts straight

 

[Jasede]

udh, I think it's because like 66% of the internet is Polish. No joke. Go to any random site; I promise you'll find Poles by the truckload.

 

[Madman]

cause this is the best way to escape from poland

 

[MasPingon]

udh, I think it's because like 66% of the internet is Polish. No joke. Go to any random site; I promise you'll find Poles by the truckload.

Oh shit, Jasade. You Germans should do something about it, don't you think?

 

[JarlFrank]

udh, I think it's because like 66% of the internet is Polish. No joke. Go to any random site; I promise you'll find Poles by the truckload.

Oh shit, Jasade. You Germans should do something about it, don't you think?

A little dose of Blitzkrieg and soon all those Poles will be Germans.

And Ostpreussen belong to its rightful owner again.

 

[Ander Vinz]

I somehow missed the moment when Codex turned into nazi dump.

 

[JarlFrank]

I somehow missed the moment when Codex turned into nazi dump.

Just search for posts by The Nameless Prick. Nobody can be more Nazi than him. And he was pretty annyoing, and the first guy ever who managed to get banned by being annyoing.

 

[Hümmelgümpf]

Don't be stupid! Be a smartie!
Come and join the Nazi Party!

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

cause this is the best way to escape from poland

So true.

udh, I think it's because like 66% of the internet is Polish. No joke. Go to any random site; I promise you'll find Poles by the truckload.

I get the same felling. So Jasede, be ready because we Pollacks will take over the world.

 

[vrok]

the consolish action

Exactly, all action games are console games!

worst than the sex scene since they're almost not even optional

Almost not optional? That's the best you could come up with?

Oh and please stop using the argument that the writing sucks because it's poorly transtlated. I mean, good for the poles and CD projekt, but face it everyone who doesn't speak polish is going to have to read through those delicious dialogues (not to mention listen to them) that make you want to eat your own balls.

That doesn't change the fact that it's true. The writing *does* suck because it's poorly translated. Several things have pointed this out, from polish free translation comparisons to the fix that restores the longer English scripts. No one is arguing that CDPR is without blame in the matter anyway, so what's the point in bitching about semantics Mr. Sensitive?

Try harder please.

 

[Slylandro]

The Witcher won this year IMO because of its freshness relative to most other games in theme and setting (MoTB = the millionth D&D game however good; Bioshock = System Shock 3; Eschalon = Too much of an old school feeling), not really because the game met certain Codexian standards or anything.

Edit:
Apparently ignore doesn't work for the Topic review window, how odd.

 

[undead dolphin hacker]

You're fat and wrong.

 

[undead dolphin hacker]

That doesn't change the fact that it's true. The writing *does* suck because it's poorly translated. Several things have pointed this out, from polish free translation comparisons to the fix that restores the longer English scripts. No one is arguing that CDPR is without blame in the matter anyway, so what's the point in bitching about semantics Mr. Sensitive?

No, it just sucks. "Cunts in pricks?" Sexually repressed Nazi rape victims (who are wearing wooden shoes, fuck you Poland I don't give a fuck if you say that's Sweden because I know you do it too). If anything, the "extended" or "free translated" script is worse than the current translation, because at least with this one you can say "well, it's just spotty translation" and let your mind fill in some of the gaps (unless it's totally absurd like the random lich-man appearing the basement, seriously what the fuck). The "real" text has no such luxury -- you're exposed to the bare, naked truth that the writing is highschool level at best.

It's no better than a fanfic by the pockmarked highschool chess club member fantasizing about fucking the cartoon girl from his manga. A poorly written litrotica that struts and frets til it brings a dweeb to climax then is read no more. It is a tale written by a masturbator, stained with sweat and ejaculate, evoking loathing.

 

[spacemoose]

It is a tale written by a masturbator, stained with sweat and ejaculate, evoking loathing.

while I can't really agree or disagree, not having played it, I appreciate your turn of phrase

 

[MasPingon]

Hacker, you seem very excited. Have you been raped by some albino - long haired guy today?

 

[Darkflame]

That doesn't change the fact that it's true. The writing *does* suck because it's poorly translated. Several things have pointed this out, from polish free translation comparisons to the fix that restores the longer English scripts. No one is arguing that CDPR is without blame in the matter anyway, so what's the point in bitching about semantics Mr. Sensitive?

No, it just sucks. "Cunts in pricks?" Sexually repressed Nazi rape victims (who are wearing wooden shoes, fuck you Poland I don't give a fuck if you say that's Sweden because I know you do it too). If anything, the "extended" or "free translated" script is worse than the current translation, because at least with this one you can say "well, it's just spotty translation" and let your mind fill in some of the gaps (unless it's totally absurd like the random lich-man appearing the basement, seriously what the fuck). The "real" text has no such luxury -- you're exposed to the bare, naked truth that the writing is highschool level at best.

It's no better than a fanfic by the pockmarked highschool chess club member fantasizing about fucking the cartoon girl from his manga. A poorly written litrotica that struts and frets til it brings a dweeb to climax then is read no more. It is a tale written by a masturbator, stained with sweat and ejaculate, evoking loathing.

What's wrong with the "Cunts in pricks" exchange - that's how the people outside my apartment begging for change talk, and Witcher is emulating that type of environment.

The "lich-man" is the King of the Wild Hunt, he's the one chasing Geralt during the opening movie, and you learn more about him throughout the game. The Witcher doesn't spell everything out for you like some Hollywood movie; as you play the game you continually learn the significance of the events that preceeded you. It is by keeping you in the dark that the game can present you with seemingly-ambiguous decisions where the choices you make are based on your own moral stance and not on what you think you know about the story.

 

[covr]

No, it just sucks. "Cunts in pricks?" Sexually repressed Nazi rape victims (who are wearing wooden shoes, fuck you Poland I don't give a fuck if you say that's Sweden because I know you do it too).

Suck dwarf cock.

 

[bezimek]

udh, I think it's because like 66% of the internet is Polish. No joke. Go to any random site; I promise you'll find Poles by the truckload.

Oh shit, Jasade. You Germans should do something about it, don't you think?

Hey give him a break. Germans asses were kicked during WW 2 so now is payback time :wink:

 

[Jasede]

Third time's the charm.