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The Witcher sucks

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The Witcher sucks

Review - posted by DarkUnderlord on Wed 20 August 2008, 02:36:32

Tags: Witcher, The

... or at least it does according to Twenty Sided. Shamus Young's original review was damming "inhabiting the role of Geralt was about as much fun as shuffling around the house in Hugh Heffner’s nasty old bathrobe". His follow-up was no better "After this much drudgery, the game would have to let me relive the alleyway scene from Spider-Man". Well, now Shamus has posted his final thoughts and it's still not good:
It turns out I never really took the steps needed to enjoy the game. I’ve been unfair. Luckily, people have provided me with lots of helpful tips on what I’ve been doing wrong. It turns out that to really enjoy the game you just need to:

1. Read a 72-page manual.
2. Read the series of books on which the game is based. (You need to learn Polish first, as only the first book is available in English.)
3. Wait until the patch comes out in a few months that will fix up all the annoyances and problems with the game.
4. Spend hundreds of dollars upgrading your computer. Only a fool plays a game with mid-range hardware, anyway.
5. Play for several hours until you get to the good parts.

Okay, snark and sarcasm aside, I really do think I need to shelve this game. I seem to be immune to the alleged charm of The Witcher, and endlessly hammering away at it is sort of pointless.

This goes back to my first post in this series. Some people faulted me for writing a whole post about Geralt, but I think that post encapsulated the entire problem. Geralt is step one to liking the game. If you’re repulsed by him the way I am, then it’s going to be a deal-breaker. Playing The Witcher if you don’t like Geralt is like playing GTA if you hate driving.

And this probably explains why this series has been so hostile. If you’re not immersed in a game, all the faults tend to stick out and grab your attention. If you’re having fun, you gloss over the little annoying details.

But I thought the game was totally awesome on release and doesn't need any "annoying issues which completely ruin the game for you" (thus rendering it unplayable) to be fixed up? For those waiting on the Enhanced Edition, CD Projekt have issued this press release letting you know about all the goodies that'll be in the new box.

If you get a 404 or similar error message trying to view TwentySided, use HideMyAss.

Spotted @ GameBanshee

There are 113 comments on The Witcher sucks

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