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Andyman Messiah reviews Fallout 3
Review - posted by JarlFrank on Sun 1 February 2009, 16:22:23Tags: Bethesda Softworks; Fallout 3
A nice little Codex-style review of our favourite First Person Shooter Fallout 3 has been written by the guy who owns a Lithuanian company that hires hitmen. He goes into full angry cunt mode and criticizes all the bad design decisions Fallout 3 has with more than appropriate language.
Yeah, so the main quest is entirely summed up with 1, find father; 2, help father; 3, save world. While there are many, many games that would boast a similar plot, Fallout 3 has one of the most boring and, frankly, depraving main quests I have ever played through. There are no highlights. None. I saw some potential but it was sadly ruined by the fact that Bethesda is a bunch of lazy and incompetent fucks, unable to provide intelligent entertainment that makes sense. Take the main gist of the plot for example; building a huge, very complex machine for something as simple as water purifying. Treating it as some kind of difficult high level science magic bullshit that nobody ever even thought about is only the tip of the huge Mount Everestian diarrhea iceberg. It just screams ”shit shit shit we need some epic-sounding plot and we need it fast!” Perhaps Bethesda didn't know how water purifying works (hint: in Resident Evil 4 it would be a puzzle solved like ”use water with earth”) or maybe they didn't think their beloved audience would know how it worked. Either way; you fucking suck, Bethesda. And your fans suck too.
He did forget to mention one thing, though. They're planning to buy a highly scientific machine in order to clean water while your personal household robot is able to provide you with clean water without any effort whatsoever.
Thanks for the nice review, Andyman Messiah!
Spotted at: Lithuanian Hitman Corporation