*** is granted with a wooden weapon known as the Sword of Solace, and Cartman sets him or her on a quest towards the Kingdom of City Wok for a serving of Kung Pao chicken. Unfortunately, ***’s first objective is interrupted by an unexpected elf attack on Cartman’s kingdom.

Children dressed as elves are bullying Cartman’s friends and urinating in his Pool of Vision, granting *** with the perfect opportunity to prove himself. A battle breaks out, and it immediately resembles the timed encounters of Paper Mario and the Mario & Luigi series. Attacks like the swing of a baseball bat will become more powerful if a meter is stopped at the right moment, and special items like the “revive taco” can be utilized if one of your allies falls in battle.

Once the elves were taken care of, the demo shifted to an entirely new area. Vampire kids have set up shop in the cemetery, and Cartman and the new kid are ready for a fight. A boss character surrounded himself with lackies, which Cartman promptly took out with his flame-assisted fart attack. The new kid took care of stragglers with his Vibroblade sex toy weapon and “Dragon’s Breath” sparkler attack, which was followed by a summon of Mr. Slave. Once Mr. Garrison’s “pet” was selected, he jumps directly on top of a selected enemy. If you’ve seen the Paris Hilton episode of the show, you can probably guess what happens next. The player is tasked with jamming the A button to “get ‘em in there,” which means exactly what you think it does. Once the enemy is fully enveloped in his new tomb, Mr. Slave sheepishly walks out of frame. A standard RPG end-battle screen pops up, granting the player with more XP, gold, and the progression from “***” to “Butthole.”​