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In Progress Let's play Europa Universalis 2: Revenge of the Basques

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Infantryman, Dec 5, 2012.

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IN EUROPA UNIVERSALIS 2, IT IS TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID PLAYING AS:

  1. Brandenburg

    3 vote(s)
    12.5%
  2. The Papal States

    3 vote(s)
    12.5%
  3. Burgundy

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  4. Eire

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Navarra

    9 vote(s)
    37.5%
  6. Georgia

    8 vote(s)
    33.3%
  1. Infantryman Scholar

    Infantryman
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    War Saw, Potatoland
    Table of contents

    1. Roasted Frog and The Black Knight
    2. Txarrena igel ergelak zaude, igel usain txarrena zara!
    3. Pire grenouille écrasée comme le crâne de porc
    4. Konkista de paradisua
    5. The Eight Years' War
    6. Basques and Catalans… friends for life!
    ------------------

    Before ITZ came and popamoles with instant health regeneration took over the world, there were decent games. Like Europa Universalis 2.


    In the year 1419, there were dozens of minor, underdog countries struggling to survive in a ruthless world. Many will fall soon, but one of them is about to make a daring attempt to hack and slash its way to glory with blood and iron or die trying. Which country is it going to be? You decide!



    [​IMG]

    Brandenburg is a small German margraviate surrounded by powerful neighbours. Will it prove itself capable of uniting Germany under its banner despite these fearsome adversities?

    [​IMG]

    The Pope has grown tired of foul heretics and embarks on a quest to create the Kingdom of God on earth. Does he have what it takes to break the might of treacherous Italian states and expand even further? Deus Vult!

    [​IMG]

    Burgundy might be relatively large and wealthy, but it also has a powerful mortal enemy - France. Will it stand its ground?

    [​IMG]

    Ireland is piss poor and sparsely populated, while the English already have a foothold on their home island. Can they fight back?

    [​IMG]

    Basque people dream of being the oppressors instead of being oppressed. Can this historical irony be achieved even though Navarra's neighbours are nearly infinitely more powerful?

    [​IMG]

    Ruled by King Liberal, Georgia IS A COUNTRY AND NOT A U.S. STATE!!!11 Surrounded by hostile Muslims, will this beacon of Orthodox Christianity prove to everyone it IS A COUNTRY AND NOT A U.S. STATE once and for all?
     
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  2. Derper Prophet

    Derper
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    1,142
    Location:
    Aaaargh
    Eire, then Georgia!
     
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  3. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    [​IMG]

    Make a stand and spread the Basque culture through the New World!
     
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  4. Imperator Scholar

    Imperator
    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2012
    Messages:
    196
    Location:
    Hungary
    Georgia
     
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  5. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,807
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    Liberal :troll:
     
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  6. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    4,639
    don't be filthy mongoloid scum

    be brandenburg
     
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  7. Sranchammer Arcane

    Sranchammer
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2011
    Messages:
    14,303
    Location:
    Former Confederate States of America
    :love:
     
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  8. Kashmir Slippers Augur

    Kashmir Slippers
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,002
    Location:
    Here, obviously
    Brandenburg.
     
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  9. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
    Joined:
    May 22, 2012
    Messages:
    2,806
    Location:
    Vicksburg
    Georgia! Though, Navarre is fine, too.
    How is EU2 different compared to EU3, aside from the worse graphics, lower province/country numbers and even sketchier geography?
     
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  10. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    4,639
    the events are a lot different between the two

    eu2 has more historically based events for specific countries, whereas eu3 is broad random events that can be happen for any country
     
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  11. Infantryman Scholar

    Infantryman
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    War Saw, Potatoland
    Fixed.


    Well, apart from the historical/random events TripJack mentioned, the games are quite similar. But EU2 doesn't have these idiotic mechanical imperfections you experience in EU3 like 1000 infantry ANNIHILATING 100000 strong army, because it was retreating in the wrong direction.





    [​IMG]

    The tally so far. No winner yet!
     
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  12. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    4,639
    fuck the tally do brandenburg :fight:
     
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  13. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    There can be only so many Shells in the Nights before it gets stale

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Basque_people#Prehistory:_the_mainstream_view

    MOST GENETICALLY PURE WEST EUROPEAN UBERMENSCH 100% KEBAB, GUIDO AND MONGOLOID FREE

    :incline: :incline: :incline:

    *Edit: Infantryman, do you intend to export the savegame to Vicky once it gets to the end? I know that is probably too much, but...

    http://lparchive.org/Paradox-Hohenzollern/
     
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  14. Infantryman Scholar

    Infantryman
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    War Saw, Potatoland

    [​IMG]

    Possibly. We'll see how it goes.
     
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  15. Infantryman Scholar

    Infantryman
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    War Saw, Potatoland
    Given the fact there are virtually no new votes, I declare that this poll has now been concluded. I shall play as Navarra.


    I'm sorry, TripJack. Democracy sucks, I know. To give you a general idea of what could have happened if I played as Brandenburg, I've placed below a screenshot from my 2008 savegame.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Infantryman Scholar

    Infantryman
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    War Saw, Potatoland
    Chapter 1: Roasted Frog and The Black Knight

    Not in my game! I shall make them pay for this! :x

    [​IMG]

    Navarra. Note the large number of national cultures. This will make Spanish and French territories easier to control. Another thing worthy of your attention is a large amount of gold it starts with :keepmymoney:.

    [​IMG]

    Time to review our internal policies. They are quite decent for a medieval state. Now I will push towards greater centralization. This will decrease stability, but maintaining order in such a tiny kingdom is a non-issue.

    [​IMG]

    You've surely noticed the white spots. These are the 'terra incognita', lands unknown for us. Why don't Navarrans know even all their neighboring territories? I have no idea, but this thing happens only on the modded map I use. Luckily, European lands may be discovered without explorers, in contrast with Afirca, Americas and Asias. That's why I've sent Navarran army in the eastern direction - to map these territories.

    [​IMG]

    Political map of our part of Europe.

    [​IMG]

    Guess what? France is in a middle of a hundred years' war with England and its allies.

    [​IMG]

    Navarra won't achieve anything alone. It needs someone to do the dirty work. Let's make friends with Castile - for now.

    [​IMG]

    Then King of Navarre asks to join their military alliance and they accept! In the meantime, more efficient tax administration is being established throughout the country. Navarra must become STRONG!

    [​IMG]

    Navarra thus became a part of the Iberian league - a multilateral alliance of Castile, Aragon and Portugal. On the downside, they are currently fighting a war of Reconquista, and Navarra is obliged to declare war on Granada and Berber countries as well.

    [​IMG]

    That won't stop Navarra from pursuing its own policy. Royal treasurer Ben Bernanxi is ordered to mint as many coins as possible, even if it means reducing the amount of precious metals a coin contains. This will surely cause inflation, but Greater Good must be served.

    [​IMG]

    Additional troops are mobilized along the border. The total numbers now exceed the supply limit which generates enormous strain on the royal budget.

    [​IMG]

    Suddenly, Navarra unexpectedly declares war on France. Without casus beli, it results in a large domestic and international butthurt. But Iberian allies of Navarra live up to the pacts they signed and join the war too.

    [​IMG]

    Basque armies besiege 3 major cities of southern France. The invaded country doesn't respond, busy fighting with the English and Burgundians. Aragonese forces are treated with higher priority.

    [​IMG]

    As the battles rage throughout entire France, nobody notices Navarra's slow but steady progress. Foix has fallen, Gascone likely to follow suit.

    [​IMG]

    Basques make an incursion into Bourbon territory. The duke's army tries to respond, but is beaten easily.

    [​IMG]

    Bourbons move their army eastwards to respond to the growing Aragonese threat to Aquitaine. Navarra then lays siege on their capital. Aristocrats send relief, but are defeated in a major battle that was decided when Basque reinforcements arrived from neighbouring province.

    [​IMG]

    France, severely mauled by the vultures, has no other choice but to concede lots of land in peace negotiations. King of Navarra is satisfied with the terms and accepts the French offer!

    [​IMG]

    Navarra becomes two times larger!

    [​IMG]

    But everything comes at a price. Such belligerent and unjustified actions have made Navarra accrue lots of infamy points, known in EU2 as 'badboy' points.

    [​IMG]

    While the Basques disband large parts of their overgrown military and work hard towards integrating newly conquered provinces, the English have captured Paris!

    [​IMG]

    That was a decisive blow. Shattered France had to sign a humiliating peace treaty with England, which now controls entire French Atlantic coastline.

    [​IMG]

    Navarra is still at war with Granda, which refuses to accept a white peace! :x

    [​IMG]

    King has had enough of their insolence and orders: REMOVE BERBER FROM THE PREMISES.

    [​IMG]

    But the royal army quickly had to return to Navarra in order to suppress some French rebellions. Then, something totally unexpected happened: Black Knight, the King of Brittany declared war on the Basques!

    [​IMG] YOU SHALL DIE!

    [​IMG]

    Basques built the first ship in the history of their nation (a Galley) and sent it to scout the Brittanian coastline. But it was found by two warships and had to escape to the port of Viscaia!

    [​IMG] I have no quarrel with you good knight, but I must have peace so that I can reduce war exhaustion!

    [​IMG] NONE SHALL PASS!

    [​IMG] So be it!

    [​IMG]

    After 2 years of stalemate with no side being able to transport troops to attack the other side (diplomatic overtures to persuade England to grant Navarra military passage have failed), Castile sunk the enemy Navy and slipped in 2000 strong detachment. It was beaten quickly but the way to get out of this nonsensical war was finally in sight.

    [​IMG]

    While Aragonese forces were slowly gaining upper hand in the Rennes area, Basques were busy fighting the mountain peasants rebelling against new tax ordnances. They proved themselves extremely difficult to defeat, beating royal army 4 times and then simply dispersing undefeated once they found out they would never succeed despite their heroic resistance.

    [​IMG]

    Despite its situation was worsening every day, Brittany still refused to sign status quo ante peace.

    [​IMG] Now stand aside worthy adversary!

    [​IMG] 'TIS BUT A SCRATCH!

    [​IMG]

    Finally, first Basques set foot on the soil of Brittany, laying siege on BRO Gwened. :bro:

    [​IMG]

    After months of siege BRO Gwened was consumed by the fires.

    [​IMG]

    Strange things happen in France. Some lolbertarians declared independence, creating the country named 'FREE'.

    [​IMG]

    Speaking of France, its situation is getting even more dire. One of its vassal duchies actually rebelled, declaring war against their former master!

    [​IMG]

    BRO Gwened falls!

    [​IMG]

    As the war gets worse and worse, Brittany actually increases its peace demands.

    [​IMG] COME ON YOU PANSY!

    [​IMG] Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no army left!

    [​IMG] YES I HAVE!

    [​IMG]

    As the BRO Leon :bro: city burns, the last one under control of Brittany, Black Knight still increases demands.

    [​IMG] CHICKEN! CHICKEN!

    [​IMG] You're a loony!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] COME 'ERE!

    [​IMG] What are you going to do, bleed on me?

    [​IMG] I'M INVINCIBLE!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] ALL RIGHT. WE'LL CALL IT A DRAW.

    [​IMG]

    Brittany was punished for its inane stubbornness by being partitioned between Aragon and the Basques. BRO Leon :bro: now belongs to Navarra!

    [​IMG] OH, OH, I SEE, RUNNING AWAY THEN. YOU YELLOW BASTARD! COME HERE AND TAKE WHAT'S COMING TO YOU! I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!
     
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  17. Tigranes Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Tigranes
    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    7,825
    Serpent in the Staglands Torment: Tides of Numenera
    Ah, EU2. How I miss thee.

    EU games tend to get too easy if you reach a certain size and power, though, especially for expeirenced players. Usually one way is to mildly-larp each King by giving them house rule-style missions or traits, but I suppose for now you must survive.
     
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  18. TheEntitledOne Arcane

    TheEntitledOne
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2012
    Messages:
    3,035
    :salute:
    Waiting for basque enrichment of the new world.
     
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  19. Azira Arcane Patron

    Azira
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2004
    Messages:
    7,807
    Location:
    Copenhagen, Denmark
    Codex 2012
    Maybe I'd like EU2 more than EU3? Anyways, keep sticking it to them! :bro:
     
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  20. Fafnir Liturgist Patron

    Fafnir
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2009
    Messages:
    873
    Location:
    Sweden
    Grab the Codex by the pussy
  21. TripJack Prestigious Gentleman Hedonist

    TripJack
    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    4,639
    :lol: dat diplo ai
     
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  22. oscar Tacticular Staff

    oscar
    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2008
    Messages:
    7,396
    Location:
    NZ
    I'm trying to remember the name of that insane mod that added a truckload of historical events for major and minor nations, even complex alternate history event chains depending on "what-ifs". Was really damn impressive. Completing a game as a nation felt like you'd done a history course on them. Had a damn fun game as the Hussites, ushering in an earlier, grassroots Protestantism.

    Fake edit: http://agceep.net/installation.htm
     
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  23. Infantryman Scholar

    Infantryman
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    War Saw, Potatoland
    Every Paradox game has these kind of mods, for instance, I have very fond memories of VIP (Victoria Improvement Project) for Vicky1. They make game far more realistic, and, in many ways, more fun to play. On the downside, with them, the gameplay becomes much more rigid. You simply can't script every possibility in the events.
     
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  24. Infantryman Scholar

    Infantryman
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    459
    Location:
    War Saw, Potatoland
    Chapter 2: Txarrena igel ergelak zaude, igel usain txarrena zara!




    [​IMG]

    Nine years of uninterrupted bloodshed brought Navarra enormous territorial gains, but the levels of war exhaustion in most of its provinces has reached extreme levels. Two French vassals – Auvergne and Bourbon, are currently clashing against each other. Normally, this would be an excellent opportunity for easy expansion, but under the current circumstances, the Basques cannot get involved in another conflict.

    [​IMG]

    HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE EUZKADI!?

    [​IMG]

    The King became increasingly interested in naval issues. He believed that somewhere far in the west, there could be a New World for the Basques to conquer.

    [​IMG]

    As Navarra recovered from the prolonged wars, its chance for easy gains in France have disappeared. Auvergne achieved total victory, grabbing over two thirds of Bourbons’ lands. Such consolidation of power among French vassals was a major setback. In the meantime, royal diplomacy focused on arranging marriages and trading maps. The Basques have learned many useful things about the Arabian coasts and Atlantic ocean.

    [​IMG]

    With the passage of time, the fire of French nationalism is slowly fading.

    [​IMG]

    Heinous worst frog wants revenge for our intervention in the Hundred Years’ War. The treacherous bastards have even incited a rebellion of mountain peasants. To make things worse, Auvergne has 25-thousand strong army stationed along our border, while Portugese cowards have dishonoured our alliance.

    [​IMG]

    Navarra cannot afford to have any idle troops eating up their supply limit. BRO Leon :bro: will have to unprotected.

    [​IMG]

    Legions of filthy toads descend upon Guyenne. Good thing most of them will starve to death due to attrition such doomstacks induce.

    [​IMG]

    After half of the invading troops have perished, 15 thousand cavalry will slaughter the demoralized remnants, while 5 thousand infantry lays siege on Tulouse.
    [​IMG]

    The battle ended in a crushing defeat for Navarra. Now nothing can save Guyenne.

    [​IMG]

    Half a year later, the province finally fell. While the hastily rebuilt Basque army was prepared to make a stand against advancing enemy army, the besieging forces moved to engage Castilian and Aragonese units.

    [​IMG]

    Sneaky Provence seized our precious :bro: BRO Leon! A black day indeed!

    [​IMG]

    Finally some good news! The Basques have taken control of Tolouse!

    [​IMG]

    But then another disaster happens. Advancing Navrran army is utterly crushed by Auvergne. The scouts have severely underestimated their strength.

    [​IMG]

    Auvergene immediately lauches a massive counterattack, besieging both Toulouse and Foix. Navarra’s army is unable to effectively respond. The situation looks very bad.

    [​IMG]

    In desperation, King of Navarra spent all his remaining gold on mercenaries. Now, his army outnumbers the besieging troops 3:1. Victory is assured!

    [​IMG]

    But despite their overwhelming advantage, the Navarra’s troops were beaten! Rumors spread among the terrified soldiers that the French are using the ubikebab djinn powers. Perhaps Basques are destined to be slaves?

    [​IMG]

    Thus, Foix had fallen. France proposed a humiliating peace deal for Navarra, demanding most of its lands. The discontent among the population is growing, defeatism is spreading too. But the King orders the cowards to be executed and rallies his troops once again.

    [​IMG]

    Cavalry army finally manages to retake Guyenne and makes a daring incursion into Auvergne. In the meantime, royal army clashes with the rear guard of the French army attacking Aragon proper. Despite outnumbering them 3:1, they lose to the djinn once again.

    [​IMG]

    Auvergne reacts swiftly, pushing Navarran cavalry back.

    [​IMG]

    But the Basques do not relent. Royal army attacks Foix once again and finally crushes the djinn army. Then, it lays siege on the mountain city and joins with the cavalry. But the Auvergne army despite vast numerical inferiority, stops the attack once again.

    [​IMG]

    Castile sends an army that attacks Auvergne. It also fails, but the toad’s losses were so huge, that royal army now enters the duchy almost unopposed.

    [​IMG]

    Rebellions rage throughout Iberia. Are we going to lose this war?

    [​IMG]

    Provence signs separate peace deal with our alliance. BRO Leon :bro: peacefully returns under Basque control!

    [​IMG]

    While Navarran army pushes deep into Auvergne, Basque race traitors raise arms against their own nation.

    [​IMG]

    Good news is that Portugal re-joins the alliance!

    [​IMG]

    Things finally are looking up for Navarra. Auvergne and Bourbon are ravaged by the fires, while Foix has been retaken.

    [​IMG]

    France’s vassals are finally beaten. Auvergne had to cede Limousin for Navarra, while Bourbons were annexed by Portugal.

    [​IMG]

    Disloyal bastards try to take advantage of the situation to increase their power and wealth. Even though it would come at a great expense, the King orders to have the traitor scum executed, which provokes a major rebellion.

    [​IMG]

    Navarra troops now besiege major cities in southern France.

    [​IMG]

    But things take a radical turn for the worse when Burgundy allies with France. Have they already forgotten Hundred Years’ War? With land access through Burgundy, France can move its troops from the north. Large doomstacks are approaching!

    [​IMG]

    Their initial advance is successfully halted, but once the main army arrives, the Basque army is a toast. All they can hope for now is to capture Dauphine and negotiate a good peace deal under these circumstances.

    [​IMG]

    And that’s the deal Navarra accepted. After making such a great sacrifices, the Basques have hoped for greater gains, but on the other hand, this could have ended much worse as well.

    [​IMG]

    Even though war is over, the fight continues. All the rebels and traitors will face justice!

    [​IMG]

    A few years later, a rebellion in the Bourbon lands start. Navarra could intervene, or it could wait and hope the rebels declare independence rather than joining France. It could be risky, because they could actually be strengthening their greatest rival.

    [​IMG]

    Reconquista continues. Soon there will be no more Muslims in Iberia.

    [​IMG]

    Foreign military advisors improve Navarran army, so that it is better prepared to fight the djinn.

    [​IMG]

    The gamble paid off! Bourbon declared independence! Castile and Aragon didn’t want to join the Portugal’s war against them, but Navarra eagerly did. As a result it became the leader of the alliance, quickly persuading the Castile and Aragon to return to the Iberian League. Brittany also joins, after intense diplomatic carrot-and-stick pressure.

    [​IMG]

    Bourbons are swiftly annexed by Navarra, becoming another province of the growing kingdom. The Basques are stronger than ever, yet there is a growing sense of insecurity. France recently inherited the duchy of Provence, which strengthened them greatly. Rebels led by some lunatic peasant girl are controlling substantial parts of English France and may soon defect to the French crown. Growing in strength, and seething with desire for vengeance, the French are surely going to strike back sooner or later.

    WHILE THE ENEMIES OF EUZKADI STILL DRAW BREATH, THERE CAN BE NO PEACE
     
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  25. Cassidy Arcane

    Cassidy
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    7,321
    Location:
    Vault City
    Fixed... according to Google Translate.

    :M
     
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