Game News Alphaturd might get patched

[Azrael the cat]

Hahahahahaha. When I saw the thread title, I thought about making a comment on it, but then I saw exactly what kind of discussion it would generate, so I decided not to bother. Come on don't tell me you didn't see this crap coming, I'm pretty dumb but I still saw through it -

First guy says title is shit, but to hide the fact that he likes the game and doesn't like an "official" newspot making such a thoughtless comment, he argues that it is indeed thoughtless and so should be more thoughtful. After all it is like the opinion of one poster is resuming the entire site. Plus, it is denying the good parts of this game, and you think there are some.

Someone says 'butthurt detected', etc

Arguing

Some stupid troll coming in with the latest hit-and-run fad, I think it's bashing Avellone now

And so on.

Bullshit. Codex, you are predictable

This, of course.

But on topic, 'turd' doesn't even SOUND like 'protocol'. Doesn't rhyme with it, or have the same beginning and end consonants. Doesn't even have the same goddamn number of syllables! There's a clear and fixed method to this and we don't need little anarchist punks going around thinking they can make up their own fucking rules.

You take the original title, and keep a recognisable portion of it. Ok, you did that much, but really given that you kept the whole 'Alpha', i.e. the entire first word of a 2 word title, that didn't take a lot of thought. Then you take the remainder of the title and select an insult that is (a) preferably specific to the Codex or being used a lot in recent Codex discussion, and (b) MOST IMPORTANTLY rhymes with or shares a strong appearance with, the original title, and has the same number of syllables.

None of this 'I'll just replace random names with 'turd' haw haw aren't I funny Ventiturd of Turd'!

 

[Fezzik]

You're all not thinking fourth-dimensionally. There's potentially irony at play here. And VoD is good people, so that will be my assumption.

 

[Twinfalls]

I agree.

I concur.

I am in accord. You can do better Ventilator.

 

[Brother None]

I HAVE AN OPINION

 

[GarfunkeL]

This thread delivers. I am positively surprised. :clapclapclap:

 

[Gragt]

I dub you Sir Ventilat0r.

 

[Vault Dweller]

I agree.

I concur.

Pete "full of shit" Hines?

Your point being?

I agree.

I concur.

Odds are, something you like very much sucks. Why? Because this is RPG Codex.

Deal with it, bitches.

It's not about the game. It's about VoD attempting to decline and people voting against it. Come on, Alphaturd is a dumb name that's hardly an example of witty or clever criticism. If VoD hates the game so much he should write a review. I don't think anyone would object to that.

As for my opinion:

"Overall impressions to-date: I like all the different options and choices a lot, really want to replay the game, try different things, and see what happens, but playing the game is so painful sometimes. I'm definitely not the target audience.

Good: characters, writing, dialogues, choices (and hopefully consequences).
Bad: the rest. Ok, maybe the rest isn't bad but just uninspiring and mediocre, but who the fuck cares?

The biggest problem is that "good" takes about 10% of the gameplay, so most of the time you're just playing a mediocre game that I would never ever play for more than 10 minutes, if not for the good parts."

 

[sportforredneck]

How about you throw out some news posts then? Some witty, amusing news posts. Will you do that?

If the news posts were actually funny, then it wouldn't be very codexian.

EDIT: Fuck it, I'll show how you can have an article that isn't super assholic:

Faggotry Afoot in Dungeon Siege III
Flamers over at GayGamer had a look in Obsidian's pants at Dungeon Siege III at E3 2010.

Allow me to preface the article with the author's Codex cred:

I say that as an RPG nut who liked the first few hours of the hours of the original game... and then loathed the rest of it, and the sequel, for being utterly linear and horrendously repetitive.

Now that that is in order let's see what they've gathered:

No mention of party size in either solo or local multiplayer - or of online multiplayer - but by the sly grins on the faces of the developers I'm guessing we'll have at least the genre-standard four, perhaps even the much larger parties favored by the previous Dungeon Siege games.

It's been a long while since it was six, I suppose...

Another Obsidian hallmark is storytelling - not historically the strongest point of this series, but Obsidian is injecting plenty of story and personality with on-the-fly dialog and cutscenes

What about their cameras?

And let us end of course with a look into GayGamer's pants:

No mention of the inventory-expanding tag along mule, although the developers mentioned that they knew it was a fan favorite. I'm hoping they don't include him/her: the animal lover in me doesn't like being violent near my furry friends like mules and musclebears!

To think that there'd be gay references at a place called GayGamer! Could also be a Jasede mating call.

Source: Herp derp

---
It's not a fucking masterpiece but at least it isn't being completely retarded either. A few gay jokes and some mockery, and that's all.

 

[Jason]

You all fail to realize that "Alphaturd" is actually a clever play on words in VoD's native German. There's no exact English translation, but it roughly means "lingering sense of disappointment mixed with a fear of mini-games".

 

[Elhoim]

If he used turd, at least he should have made the title "Alphaturd gets some polishing".

 

[hoochimama]

I concur.

Pete "full of shit" Hines?

Your point being?

Pete "full of shit" Hines was similarly neither "funny nor clever but asinine and juvenile", and as you now criticize someone else for doing the same thing you did it is an appropriate jab.

Since my point must have been obvious I assume the point of asking me what the point was was just to be sure of it before you start defending the old pete "full of shit" hines post claiming it was neither asinine nor juvenile and was nowhere near the same level as "alphaturd". As I don't see how arguing against it could change your opinion if it remains the same years later then it would be futile to even try.

 

[Gragt]

It would have been more fun if it had been written as Alphatürd.

 

[Terror Teats]

Hahahahahaha. When I saw the thread title, I thought about making a comment on it, but then I saw exactly what kind of discussion it would generate, so I decided not to bother. Come on don't tell me you didn't see this crap coming, I'm pretty dumb but I still saw through it -

First guy says title is shit, but to hide the fact that he likes the game and doesn't like an "official" newspot making such a thoughtless comment, he argues that it is indeed thoughtless and so should be more thoughtful. After all it is like the opinion of one poster is resuming the entire site. Plus, it is denying the good parts of this game, and you think there are some.

Someone says 'butthurt detected', etc

Arguing

Some stupid troll coming in with the latest hit-and-run fad, I think it's bashing Avellone now

And so on.

Bullshit. Codex, you are predictable

This, of course.

But on topic, 'turd' doesn't even SOUND like 'protocol'. Doesn't rhyme with it, or have the same beginning and end consonants. Doesn't even have the same goddamn number of syllables! There's a clear and fixed method to this and we don't need little anarchist punks going around thinking they can make up their own fucking rules.

You take the original title, and keep a recognisable portion of it. Ok, you did that much, but really given that you kept the whole 'Alpha', i.e. the entire first word of a 2 word title, that didn't take a lot of thought. Then you take the remainder of the title and select an insult that is (a) preferably specific to the Codex or being used a lot in recent Codex discussion, and (b) MOST IMPORTANTLY rhymes with or shares a strong appearance with, the original title, and has the same number of syllables.

None of this 'I'll just replace random names with 'turd' haw haw aren't I funny Ventiturd of Turd'!

I wish you had put more thought into this post.

 

[mornick]

I appreciate the humour that someone, somewhere considered the fact that a some random modern game, most probably, is going to get patched newsworthy.

Now, if there was some random modern game that didn't need a patch - ever - now that would be newsworthy. However, the most likely candidate for that rare honour is still Progress Quest.

 

[ScottishMartialArts]

Flamers over at GayGamer had a look in Obsidian's pants at Dungeon Siege III at E3 2010.

I should start a website called TrannyGamer. Apparently there are a lot of us.

 

[Silellak]

 

[Darth Roxor]

ITT: German humour.

 

[VentilatorOfDoom]

You all fail to realize that "Alphaturd" is actually a clever play on words in VoD's native German. There's no exact English translation, but it roughly means "lingering sense of disappointment mixed with a fear of mini-games".

at least you still understand me, *sob*

but bros no need to get all butthurt, sorry that I declined this place so much, I understood: don't pull that shit with Obsidian, only with Bethesda & Moulinex

 

[Shannow]

Odds are, something you like very much is a turd. Why? Because this is RPG Codex.

...

And of course what hoochimama said.
This must be the decline chefe was always going on about.

And now ninja-edit that title to " Alphaturd receives some polishing", VoD.

 

[Azarkon]

More witty: Alpha Protocol reaches Beta status

More Codex: Alpha Testicle receives some rubbing

More Cleve Blakemore: Kwanzanians fail more, miscount days to ITZ

 

[bonch]

News headlines should reflect the class and caliber of the forum discussion that follows them. You will not get away with this.

 

[Dny]

You all fail to realize that "Alphaturd" is actually a clever play on words in VoD's native German. There's no exact English translation, but it roughly means "lingering sense of disappointment mixed with a fear of mini-games".

at least you still understand me, *sob*

but bros no need to get all butthurt, sorry that I declined this place so much, I understood: don't pull that shit with Obsidian, only with Bethesda & Moulinex

No no, do carry on with the Obsidian bashing, if it could keep those people away it'd be really nice.

 

[Angthoron]

More witty: Alpha Protocol reaches Beta status

All For Bro Too Cool will possibly become even cooler!

 

[Der_Unbekannte]

Pretty interesting, that only the title gets discussed.
Not that they still don't have a patch, or that sega thinks that this game is so shitty that it doesn't deserve DLCs.

But yeah. The Title is important!

You all fail to realize that "Alphaturd" is actually a clever play on words in VoD's native German. There's no exact English translation, but it roughly means "lingering sense of disappointment mixed with a fear of mini-games".

Finally someone understands! Danke mein Sauerkrautfreund!

 

[Forest Dweller]

You all fail to realize that "Alphaturd" is actually a clever play on words in VoD's native German. There's no exact English translation, but it roughly means "lingering sense of disappointment mixed with a fear of mini-games".

at least you still understand me, *sob*

but bros no need to get all butthurt, sorry that I declined this place so much, I understood: don't pull that shit with Obsidian, only with Bethesda & Moulinex

Butthurt detected.