NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[kingcomrade]

 

[Texas Red]

KC, no, you just dont see the DELECIOUS irony of those tales, the unexpected ending in a very short progression and the weirdness of it. Its masterful, damnit.

 

[Müg]

KC, no, you just dont see the DELECIOUS irony of those tales, the unexpected ending in a very short progression and the weirdness of it. Its masterful, damnit.

When you were first double dumbfucked, I thought it wasn't really warranted. I stand corrected.

 

[Jasede]

I thought I'd never say this, but Deathclaw fanfiction and VD/Volourn slashfics are both better.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

I think triple dumbfucking him would just encourage him. What should be done?

 

[JarlFrank]

KC, no, you just dont see the DELECIOUS irony of those tales, the unexpected ending in a very short progression and the weirdness of it. Its masterful, damnit.

Unexpected? What was so unexpected about it? And where was the irony?

This was worse than KC's deathclaw fanfic, which at least included Codex references. This one was just boring.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

Where's your dildo now?

 

[Fez]

He was apparently too embarrassed at the reaction so removed is ridiculous fiction about Jennyfer dildo raping someone and some guy being dragged off to a basement for having a "monster cock". For those who missed it, it was awful.

 

[Texas Red]

He was apparently too embarrassed at the reaction so removed is ridiculous fiction about Jennyfer dildo raping someone and some guy being dragged off to a basement for having a "monster cock". For those who missed it, it was awful.

Aw come on! You just dont understand art. Well, all visionaries were bashed at first. In the future, when the world is ready, my plays will be known around the world!

Damn you Fez. Damn you to the darkest of pits.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

He was apparently too embarrassed at the reaction so removed is ridiculous fiction about Jennyfer dildo raping someone and some guy being dragged off to a basement for having a "monster cock". For those who missed it, it was awful.

Ah! It is too big!

 

[JarlFrank]

He was apparently too embarrassed at the reaction so removed is ridiculous fiction about Jennyfer dildo raping someone and some guy being dragged off to a basement for having a "monster cock". For those who missed it, it was awful.

It was more than awful. It was the Oblivion of literature.

 

[kingcomrade]

You guys are making it sound all impressive.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

I bet someone higher up could revert his edit, so that he can earn his third dumbfuck title.

 

[Texas Red]

I bet someone higher up could revert his edit, so that he can earn his third dumbfuck title.

Damn it, how cant you see? WHY cant you see? I chuckle to myself whenever thinking of that man who got dragged away in to the basement.

 

[JarlFrank]

I bet someone higher up could revert his edit, so that he can earn his third dumbfuck title.

Damn it, how cant you see? WHY cant you see? I chuckle to myself whenever thinking of that man who got dragged away in to the basement.

This alone is worth an additional "Psycho" title.

 

[GoldLeader]

How in the bloody hell one even can get double dumbfucked?

 

[JarlFrank]

How in the bloody hell one even can get double dumbfucked?

TWD is the first [and possibly only one] to be double dumbfucked because of his extreme dumbfuckery.

 

[Fez]

How in the bloody hell one even can get double dumbfucked?

You wouldn't be asking that if you had read the story before it vanished.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

I found it quite fascinating, like seeing what an autistic kid has drawn after being fed lots of Smarties.

 

[Elwro]

http://www.matrixgames.com/forums/tm.asp?m=1485033

Such a big effort for a tutorial scenario with less than 10 units :D

 

[Lumpy]

I thought they were posted just for shits and he didn't really find them funny?...

 

[sheek]

Funny you say that. I'm 41, and one of my most cherished computer game memories is staying up, literally, all night long playing Ultima III in college. Also, playing D&D's Pool of Radiance in college with a friend.

But I've never been so blind to think that those games, like the ones you mention, were some golden age that hasn't been equalled.
It's been equalled and surpassed 100-fold, in my eyes.
Yes, Ultima IV was a great game. When it came out, but I sure don't want to sit and play it now.

I don't give a damn what genre you want to lump Oblivion, or whether the fact that my personal ability to aim the fire ball with my mouse, as opposed to some zzzzzzzzzzzz stats-based die roll decides what shelf the game sits on - It was and is FUN!
That's why I play games.
Not to hold my breath and wonder if my last attack will succeed based on some cold calculation taking place.
Not to curse the screen as my swing misses, then my "avatar" paces back and forth for 6 seconds, swings again, paces for another 6 seconds...

Personally, I prefer the Oblivion approach.
You always succeed, the degree of success depends on your skills.

 

[denizsi]

That's what happens when you mutate into an old fart, only at 41.

 

[Bloodeyes]

Funny you say that. I'm 41, and one of my most cherished computer game memories is staying up, literally, all night long playing Ultima III in college. Also, playing D&D's Pool of Radiance in college with a friend.

But I've never been so blind to think that those games, like the ones you mention, were some golden age that hasn't been equalled.
It's been equalled and surpassed 100-fold, in my eyes.
Yes, Ultima IV was a great game. When it came out, but I sure don't want to sit and play it now.

I don't give a damn what genre you want to lump Oblivion, or whether the fact that my personal ability to aim the fire ball with my mouse, as opposed to some zzzzzzzzzzzz stats-based die roll decides what shelf the game sits on - It was and is FUN!
That's why I play games.
Not to hold my breath and wonder if my last attack will succeed based on some cold calculation taking place.
Not to curse the screen as my swing misses, then my "avatar" paces back and forth for 6 seconds, swings again, paces for another 6 seconds...

Personally, I prefer the Oblivion approach.
You always succeed, the degree of success depends on your skills.

I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.

I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.
I want to shoot a giant gnome with a .44 magnum automatic.

Vampire Motorcycle Jousting would be fucking cool.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

HAY GUYZ Look what I tried to post on the Beth forums.It didn't work because every new topic has to be approved by a moderater. GO BETHSTAPO!!! I got to work by using a topic title like 'whats your favorite music':

In code for EZ trolling access:

MY RAPED FRANCHISE LOOKS DOWN ON DUMBED DOWN MASSES IS IT GOD

THE ECONOMY OF BETHESDUH IS BASED ON THE NUMBER OF RPG FEATURES SACRIFICED

YOUR STUPID NOT-FUNNY JOKES AND FEATURES ARE FRIGHTENING CHILDREN EVERYWHERE SO IT IS NOT SO MUCH SOMETHING TO BE EMBARASSED ABOUT BUT RATHER SOMETHING TO BE CONTROLLED AND REGULATED:
[QUOTE]All those pointless rocks and [b]Barbie heads[/b] you find on the ground can be loaded into a makeshift Rock-It Launcher and put to good use.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Your basic stats aren't going to change much during the game (except as a result of radiation poisoning), but [b]you can collect bobble heads found throughout the game to bump the stats up a bit.[/b][/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]As your choices change and quests are knocked out, news of your fame (or infamy) will spread to. NPC reactions to you will also change as your title shifts from [b]"Noob Vault Dweller" to "HaXXor - Nuker of Cities".[/b][/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]“[B]Violence done well is ****in' hilarious, so we embrace it[/B],” says Howard...[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]At one point we set one of the exploding nuclear cars on fire and then hopped into a [B]portable nuclear shelter[/B] (which costs a quarter to use and looks like a [B]phone booth[/B]) to avoid the blast.[/QUOTE]

WHEN I FREESTYLE ABOUT BETHESDUH  IT'S LIKE I BECOME THE TODDLER HIMSELF, RAPING ANY FRANCHISE COMES BY.
[url]http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k67/MEKDude/howlowcantoddgo2dg7.jpg[/url]

PILGRIMS PROGRESS IS AN ALLEGORY ABOUT THE TIME I TOLD MY PEEPS TO MARKET OBLIVIAN:
[QUOTE][[b]Kathode[/b]] "All screenshots we've released are 100% in game showing stuff we've already got implemented. We haven't done any special poses or anything like that, with the exception of magazine covers."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "I'm sorry, but what part of "without losing our hardcore rpg fans" don't you understand?"

[[b]Slateman[/b]] "Each of the faction lines in this game have plots and quests to much greater depth over MW. Quality, not quantity."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "I know you don't want to hear it, but you're just going to have to trust us that the dialogue is better than Morrowind's."

[[b]Todd[/b]] "As you play, you start to figure out what you can do with these NPCs, and how you can influence their behavior, and when doing a quest, it really comes into play. A simple 'get the diamond from that guy...' quest can be done in hundreds of ways now."

[[b]VSXX[/b]] "We have everything from mice to moles to crickets. The most fearsome you have ever seen even! You thought sleeping at night with a singing cricket outside your window was bad. You wait till you meet the one that plays a 14 piece drum set outside your window."

[[b]Pete[/b]]  "Honestly, and this is just my opinion, I think the hardcore RPG guys are going to love what we have in store for them in Oblivion. The depth, the level of polish...it crushes Morrowind. That doesn't mean that other people won't want to buy it and play it because it's a beautiful game that has fun combat and cool quests. We'll make enough copies for everyone."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "You'll be reading LOTS of stuff. All of the quest lines are much more in depth, challenging and interesting. And there's a heck of a lot more to the game than just the guilds and the main quest. Lots and lots of other things to do that haven't been mentioned. Stats play a huge, huge role. Class actually has meaning this time. The game is better balanced. You have more rewards for advancement besides just getting better at things. The dungeons are better designed, the NPCs are more interesting, the dialogue is better written. 

If you think this is a simple, dumbed down hack & slash, you couldn't be more wrong."

[[b]BlueDev[/b]] "For Oblivion, there's a very concious effort to avoid too much random information spewing by NPCs. Fear not--there's still the same amount of info to be found in the game. In fact, the NPCs probably have more than ever to say; it just makes more sense for them to say it."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "Oblivion is infinitely superior to Morrowind in every conceivable way."

[[b]MattRyan[/b]] "So for all of you thinking that it would be neat to steal something, and then take off on your horse....guess what? An NPC can do the same dirty trick to you as well. "

[[b]Todd[/b]] "The clothing you wear does affect certain NPC's, but not in a big way, it’s subtle."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "Broken shields and weapons are automatically dropped and they clatter to the ground using Havok physics. Broken armor stays on, but is ineffective and you'll know if you're wearing broken armor or not."

[[b]Slateman[/b]] "While I cannot go into detail, rest assured that even players who max out a bunch of skills will discover challenges in this game. We didn't leave you guys out "

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "Just because you can attempt to bribe someone does not mean they'll automatically accept it."

[[b]MattRyan[/b]] "We are gamers. We have given tons of time toward the balance of gameplay. Asside from the designers, artists, programmers, and producers.... our staff of QA testers are extremely good at exploiting our game systems and looking for loopholes in gameplay, or shortfalls in fun vs. realism.

In conclusion, to completely cut out any adjustment to difficulty in enemies would not be fun, just as making all creatures off-set to your level would not be fun."

[[b]Slateman[/b]] "Yep. To second MSFD, we don't auto-level exactly to your level. We have all sorts of adjustments available. If we didn't the game would be boring "

[[b]MattRyan[/b]] "If everything was leveled then you'd have no fear of anything in the game ('I can beat everything!') We plan on scaring the heck out of the player by higher level creatures."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "You're walking through a seedy part of a town in Western Cyrodiil. People mill about, some engaged in conversation, others minding their own business, out on their own errands. Suddenly, an ugly man decides he doesn't like you. Maybe he's drunk, maybe he's just a bully, maybe he's just showing off in front of his friends -- but for whatever reason, he has taken your measure and decided he can best you. 

He comes charging at you, with a nasty looking mace in his hand and a look of hatred on his face. Onlookers move back to make room for what should be an entertaining fight. 

Quickly drawing your sword and shield, you wheel around to face him. He's upon you pretty quickly though, and you barely have time to raise your shield (hold right mouse button) before his first blow thunders down upon you. 

But you block well, and as he recoils from the collision, you quickly perform left & right slashes with your sword (left click, pause, left click). The bully realizes this isn't going to be easy. 

He backs off a bit, and starts dodging around you. First to the left, then to the right. You maneuver to keep him in view, looking for an opening. Suddenly he steps back, raises his mace in both hands, and steps forward, bringing the mace towards your head in a crushing blow! 

But you're quick -- you step to the side as he attacks. As he passes by, you execute a spinning maneuver and slash him in the side (hold left mouse button and left maneuver key). The hit is solid, and your foe staggers from the blow. 

But it's not over yet. The bully swings his mace wildly -- his first swing misses, but the next one connects for a blow that sends you staggering. Pressing his advantage, the bully bears down on you with a power attack of his own. OUCH. This isn't going well. You take a glance at your health meter, it's getting a bit low. You quickly back up out of the bully's reach and raise your shield (hold right mouse button). 

He's hurting, too. You circle each other for a time, looking for an opening, trying to recover some fatigue. Finally the bully charges forward with a devastating overhead blow, perhaps hoping to break your shield. But the shield holds and the recoil send him staggering back. This is your chance! You perform a mighty forward power attack (hold the left mouse button, press forward) and connect solidly. The blow staggers your foe once again, and you perform 3 slashing attacks in rapid succession (left mouse button, pause, left mouse button, pause, left mouse button), and finally the bully collapses to the ground, defeated. 

The crowd disperses, going back to their own business."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "We happen to think that console gamers are smarter than that, and the success of Morrowind on Xbox proves that console gamers actually ARE interested in games with MORE depth and complexity than some people seem to think they are."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "I absolutely guarantee that they'll be able to make mods that will completely blow away anything we saw for Morrowind, using the new Construction Set."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "You can only use the map-based fast travel to go to places you've already been. So you'll HAVE to walk to each possible location AT LEAST once."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "We could make traditional creatures that looked like every other depiction of those creatures you've seen in books, movies, or other games, but then where's the originality in that?"

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "NPCs would have to be told to go into your house via Radiant AI. And even if they WERE, you could always lock your door..."

[[b]Slateman[/b]] "Trust me, you're going to get lost if you wander in these forests and don't use the compass or map."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "you can enter every interior."

[[b]Pete[/b]] "There isn't a magazine on the planet that hasn't gotten information if they've asked for it."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "Resurrected NPCs are not themselves. They're basically mindless automata who will follow you around and fight for you."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "Oblivion is an extremely rich, complex game with a tremendous amount of depth, compelling quest lines, interesting NPC characters, a huge variety of player character types and intricate character progression set in a huge, varied game world. Combat, magic, and AI have all been dramatically improved to enhance gameplay while still providing a balance between player skill and character skill, because after all, Oblivion is a role playing game. Yes, some things that were present in Morrowind are not in Oblivion -- but a lot more has been added than removed, and the goal has always been to make a game that is both more accessible to first-time RPG players, and is also challenging and rewarding for more experienced players."

[[b]Pete[/b]] "We will continue to support the mod community as best we can and let them do the great things they do, just as we did with Morrowind."

[[b]Sentinel[/b]] "The sad fact is that many development studios can't afford to bankroll their own game development. So they rely on publishers to give them the money to create these games. The problem with this is that the publisher then feels they should have input into the game since they are spending the money. Hence Atari and EA have such a big influence on a game they publish. 

Just glad here at Bethesda we are our own publisher and developer and have free reign to make what we want."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "We're NOT going to slap in features that don't work well just to say we have them."

[[b]Pete[/b]] "Holidays this year"

[[b]Pete[/b]] "You know if you have a 360 it will look as good as it can possibly look. If you have the latest, greatest PC with the best video card, etc., it will probably look the same as the Xbox 360 version."

[[b]MrSmileyFaceDude[/b]] "The compass, the quest marker and compass icons, are NOT the hand-holding, dumbing down babysitter some folks paint them out to be."

[[b]Hayt[/b]] "We're around on a daily basis, and we're reading. When we're ready to comment on things, you'll all know."

*All of the Dev quotes cited above have been archived at http://www.waiting4oblivion.com/developer_quotes.html[/QUOTE]

I WATCH THIS PLACE AND DELETE STUFF LIKE I WATCH LITTLE KIDS AT THE PLAYGROUND
[url]http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k67/MEKDude/betshtapoev7.jpg[/url]

PROXY SERVERS ALLOW ME TO POST TO A LOT OF PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY UNSUSPECTING LITTLE CHILDREN

EDIT: I GOT IT TO WORK: http://www.bethsoft.com/bgsforums/index ... pic=722605