NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Havoc]

This is a better screen, BRO

 

[Drax]

Fuck Disco Elysium, this is the next generation of rpg!

 

[janior]

 

[HansDampf]

 

[PanteraNera]

 

[Unkillable Cat]

On one hand I was torn on whether to post this as I've often vented about how crap these lists always are, but on the other hand I had to kill some time, so...

games™'s 200 Best Greatest Games of All Time

To quote the editor:

Why the word greatest? Why not best, or top? Why not something more specific, like most influential? We’ve been pondering this question for a while, ever since issue 200 of games™ began looming in the near distance and the prospect of following up issue 100’s Greatest Games list became a reality. What do we mean by greatest? Well, in some ways we mean all of the things above. For us a great game is a game that is technically excellent, innovative, influential and has longevity. Many games are a few of these things, but few are all of them. As such, in the list that follows you’ll see a good mix of classic and modern titles, all of which are here because they struck the strongest balance of playability and impact, achieving an outstanding level of technical quality for their time and possessing innovation that still holds true today. Perhaps above all other things, this list of the 200 Greatest Games represents games™. These are the games that stand for us.

This list represents everything that we as a magazine value about the videogames industry. There were many that have not made the cut (our long list started at over 700), and many of them will likely be cherished favourites in your lives. But that’s all part of the fun of a list, right? Agreeing with some of it, disagreeing with the rest. All that being said, I genuinely hope you enjoy the list to follow. If nothing else, I hope it reminds you of just some of the games that have helped to shape our lives and made this industry what it is today.

Those last words couldn't be truer, because as you can expect the list is ripe with Decline. Fallout 3 being higher up than the original Fallout (and no other Fallouts present), Bioshock titles ranking higher than System Shock 2, games not even a year old being in the top 50, fucking Fez being in a ludicriously high position, etc. There are the odd Incline additions as well, like Thief: The Dark Project being included rather than Thief 2, Papers Please gets a nod and The Witcher 3 also getting a ludicriously high spot.

But enough blabber, here's the complete list sans the paragraphs each game gets (as they're cringe-inducing to read at times), all broken down into neat parts.

200-150

200 Pong (1972)
199 Kentucky Route Zero (2013)
198 Ducktales (1989) [the NES game, not The Quest for Gold]
197 Manic Miner (1983)
196 Project Gotham Racing 3 (2005)
195 Elite (1984)
194 Space Invaders (1978)
193 Hitman: Blood Money (2006)
192 Boktai: The Sun is in Your Hands (2003)
191 Until Dawn (2015)
190 Shenmue (1999)
189 Populous (1989)
188 Rainbow Six: Siege (2015)
187 Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe (1990)
186 Bubble Bobble (1986)
185 Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver (1999)
184 Snatcher (1988)
183 Ultima Online (1997)
182 Outrun 2006: Coast to Coast (2006)
181 Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (2001)
180 Titanfall (2014)
179 Crash Bandicoot (1996)
178 SSX Tricky (2001)
177 Crazy Taxi (1999)
176 Resogun (2013)
175 Worms (1995)
174 Rocket League (2015)
173 The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay (2004)
172 Rez (2001)
171 Gunstar Heroes (1993)
170 UFO: Enemy Unknown (1994)
169 Fable II (2008)
168 NBA Jam (1993)
167 Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (2005)
166 Galaga (1981)
165 Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (2015)
164 Heavy Rain (2010)
163 S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl (2007)
162 Ori and the Blind Forest (2015)
161 Life is Strange (2015)
160 Thief: The Dark Project (1998)
159 Sleeping Dogs (2012)
158 Sonic CD (1993)
157 Warioware: Twisted! (2004)
156 Double Dragon (1987)
155 Command & Conquer: Red Alert (1996)
154 Kingdom Hearts II (2005)
153 Wipeout 2097 (1996)
152 Divinity: Original Sin II (2017)
151 Team Fortress 2 (2007)
150 The House of the Dead 2 (1998)

149-100

149 Hotline Miami (2012)
148 Far Cry 3 (2012)
147 Peggle (2007)
146 Robotron: 2084 (1982)
145 Fallout (1997)
144 Eternal Darkness (2002)
143 Towerfall: Ascension (2014)
142 Persona 4 (2008)
141 Company of Heroes (2006)
140 Metal Slug (1996)
139 Beneath a Steel Sky (1994)
138 Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock (2007)
137 The World Ends With You (2007)
136 F-Zero GX (2003)
135 R-Type III: The Third Lightning (1993)
134 ICO (2001)
133 Bayonetta (2009)
132 Super Meat Boy (2010)
131 Jet Set Radio Future (2002)
130 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (2000)
129 Viewtiful Joe (2003)
128 Mega Man 2 (1988)
127 Shovel Knight (2014)
126 Viva Pinata (2006)
125 Okami (2006)
124 Rock Band (2007)
123 Tomb Raider (1996)
122 Borderlands (2009)
121 Fallout 3 (2008)
120 Papers, Please (2013)
119 Fire Emblem (2003) [GBA version]
118 Katamari Damacy (2004)
117 Super Mario Galaxy (2007)
116 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (2002)
115 Arkanoid (1986)
114 The Stanley Parable (2013)
113 The Walking Dead: Season One (2012)
112 Assassin's Creed II (2009)
111 The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (2000)
110 Day of the Tentacle (1993)
109 League of Legends (2009)
108 Stardew Valley (2016)
107 Another World (1991)
106 Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (2010)
105 Spelunky (2012)
104 Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved (2003)
103 Time Crisis II (1997)
102 Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening (2005)
101 Hitman 2: Silent Assassin (2002)
100 Gone Home (2013) [My personal "WTF?!?" entry of the entire list]

99-50

099 Littlebigplanet 2 (2011)
098 Demon's Souls (2009)
097 Minecraft (2009)
096 Simcity (1989)
095 XCom: Enemy Unknown (2012)
094 Burnout 3: Takedown (2004)
093 Bioshock Infinite (2013)
092 Super Mario 64 (1996)
091 Civilization IV (2005)
090 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2003)
089 Rome: Total War (2004)
088 Streets of Rage 2 (1992)
087 Grand Theft Auto IV (2008)
086 The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (2006)
085 Braid (2008)
084 Overcooked (2016)
083 Lemmings (1991)
082 Halo: Reach (2010)
081 Contra III: The Alien Wars (1992)
080 System Shock 2 (1999)
079 FTL: Faster Than Light (2012)
078 Earthbound (1994)
077 Final Fantasy Tactics (1997)
076 Street Figther III: Third Strike (1999)
075 Jade Empire (2005)
074 Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos (2002)
073 Super Bomberman (1993)
072 Goldeneye 007 (1997)
071 Dishonored 2 (2016)
070 Left 4 Dead (2008)
069 Alien: Isolation (2014)
068 Final Fantasy VII (1997)
067 Horizon Zero Dawn (2017)
066 What Remains of Edith Finch (2017)
065 Marvel vs Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes (2000)
064 Bastion (2011)
063 Advance Wars (2001)
062 Portal 2 (2011)
061 God of War II (2007)
060 Pac-Man: Championship Edition (2007)
059 Gears of War (2006)
058 Quake III: Arena (1999)
057 The Oregon Trail (1971)
056 Super Mario Bros (1985)
055 Animal Crossing (2001)
054 Deus Ex (2000)
053 Counter-Strike (2000)
052 Planescape: Torment (1999)
051 Donkey Kong (1981)
050 Metroid Prime (2002)

49-20

049 Super Mario Sunshine (2002)
048 Grand Theft Auto III (2001)
047 Final Fantasy VIII (1999)
046 Sonic the Hedgehog (1991)
045 The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (2002)
044 Silent Hill 2 (2001)
043 Super Mario Kart (2000)
042 The Secret of Monkey Island (1990)
041 Dead Space 2 (2011)
040 The Sims 2 (2004)
039 Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (1997)
038 The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (2017)
037 Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003)
036 Resident Evil (1996)
035 Super Mario Odyssey (2017)
034 Journey (2012)
033 Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009)
032 Halo: Combat Evolved (2001)
031 Diablo II (2000)
030 Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting (1992)
029 Doom (1993)
028 Inside (2016)
027 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998)
026 Red Dead Redemption (2010)
025 Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (2005)
024 Super Mario World (1990)
023 Chrono Trigger (1995)
022 Bloodborne (2015)
021 Half-Life 2 (2004)
020 Grand Theft Auto V (2013)

19-10

019 Final Fantasy VI (1994)
018 Starcraft (1998)
017 The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (2015)
016 Shadow of the Colossus (2005)
015 Fez (2012)
014 Bioshock (2007)
013 Mass Effect 2 (2010)
012 The Last of Us (2013)
011 Super Metroid (1994)
010 Tetris (1984)

And now we get to the weird stuff...

009 World of Warcraft (2004)
008 Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (2007)
007 Resident Evil 4 (2005)
006 Super Mario Bros 3 (1988)
005 Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (2009)
004 Portal (2007)

The Top Three

003 Pokémon Red & Blue (1996)

Spoiler

002 Metal Gear Solid (1998)

Spoiler

001 The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (1991)

 

[markec]

 

[Lahey]

Unkillable Cat I was going to pick that list apart and react to all the strange entries, obvious omissions, shoehorned trash, and general poor composition, but it's too retarded even for me.

 

[LESS T_T]

Asset flipper goes beyond fuckup:

Active Shooter - the Simulation. Pick your role, gear up and fight or destroy! Be the good guy or the bad guy. The choice is yours! Only in "Active Shooter", you will be able to pick the role of an Elite S.W.A.T team member or the actual shooter. Your objective would be either to neutralize the target (active shooter) or be the target himself. Slaughter as many civilians as possible, as well as forces that are against you! The choice is yours!

Our features:

• Realistic First Person Controller (Full bodied)
  
• Variety of real life weapons
  
• Impressive A.I.
  
• Destruction physics
  
• Real Life situations
  
• Ability to pick side
  
• School Shooting Simulation

Roadmap (1st week of release):

• Co-Op Missions (up to 4 players)
  
• Fully integrated Multi-Player (be the bad or be the good!)

Please note:
Please do not take any of this seriously. This is only meant to be the simulation and nothing else. If you feel like hurting someone or people around you, please seek help from local psychiatrists or dial 911 (or applicable). Thank you

 

[Infinitron]

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

 

[sexbad?]

Please note:
Please do not take any of this seriously. This is only meant to be the simulation and nothing else. If you feel like hurting someone or people around you, please seek help from local psychiatrists or dial 911 (or applicable). Thank you

hello 911? i wanna shoot up a school

 

[sexbad?]

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

 

[deuxhero]

This entire channel is great.

 

[markec]

 

[Infinitron]

Rule 34 of the Internet: If it exists, there is porn of it.

Rule 35 of the Internet: If it existed, there is nostalgia for it:

 

[Big Wrangle]

Now they're gonna make Lionheart 2 next, thanks Twitter.

 

[FeelTheRads]

What is a game like Lionheart? Bad? Unfinished? There's thousands of them.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Lionheart is a game that EA would order to develop before killing the studio - unreal concept to create in short time for fistful of dollars.

Bard's Tale IV is a dungeon crawler whose more modern analogs are Legend of Grimrock.

vomitingcat.webm

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

The best martial art: Satsi no hadoenoughofyourshit

 

[Mikeal]

God dammit Johny!

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

While I really enjoyed all the Rocksteady Batman games I've played (Asylum, City and Knight), the approach of the "I don't kill people" thing really pissed me off in the last one because you go through the whole game shooting bullets and exploding things with your batmovile. Hardly leaving any person alive lol.

PD: Harley best visual designs are from Knight IMO

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

 

[lightbane]

 

[TheHeroOfTime]