D. Gaider - from writing games to writing novels

[Twinfalls]

Gromnir, had Howard written anything like this:

So Carth went to her. He slowly made his way down the ramp, his steps becoming more urgent the closer he got to her. He began to run, and suddenly so did she... and as they drew together almost magnetically they sped up until their pace was a desperate sprint. And then finally he swept Revan up into his arms. They embraced, clutching to each other with an exquisite intensity.

And like a wave finally breaking upon the sand, the collected spectators broke into wild applause. The approving roar of the crowd was deafening... but neither Carth nor Revan noticed.

...

Revan disengaged slowly from their embrace and looked Carth in the face. Both of their eyes were bleary with joyful tears and really they looked ridiculous. She laughed suddenly and so did he. It felt good to laugh. The audience cheered again, and now they both looked out at the crowd bashfully, waving briefly before looking at each other and laughing giddily once more. 'I don't care what we do,' she said quietly to him. 'We have a destiny ahead of us still. Our story isn't done. Whether it's making babies or more fighting, I don't care so long as you're there with me. Think you can handle that?'

... he would have committed suicide at 12.

 

[DarkUnderlord]

It felt good to laugh.

It felt good to laugh.

 

[spacemoose]

whether it's making babies or more fighting, I don't care so long as you're there with me, dgaider

 

[Fat Dragon]

"whether it's making babies or more fighting, I don't care so long as you're there with me, dgaider," Warden said.

Fixed.

 

[BethesdaLove]

'


"You must enter a message when posting."

 

[Rosh]

Six pages, and nobody has yet made the easy shot at Gaider.

I suppose after being a laugh in game design, he had to go find something that required exponentially less work.

 

[Twinfalls]

Dgaider: enslaving nations with bad romancing?

 

[Azrael the cat]

The scariest thing about this is that there is a darn good chance that his book is still better than that film (and book) 'Twilight'. It's like they combined all the crappest parts of Buffy, then decided 'hang on, this isn't quite shit enough yet!' Hell, even Whedon recognised that for Angel to be even remotely interesting he had to actually turn evil and kill a bunch of people every now and then...

 

[Azrael the cat]

Am I the only one with a perverse desire to walk into the Bioware offices with a gun, point it at Gaider and then give him 5 different options to avoid getting shot, only to then go 'just kidding, the choices are all illusory anyway. If I don't impart the exact same information and outcome regardless of your response, then you'll miss a vital part of the plot progression' and then shoot him?

 

[Warden]

Am I the only one with a perverse desire to walk into the Bioware offices with a gun, point it at Gaider and then give him 5 different options to avoid getting shot, only to then go 'just kidding, the choices are all illusory anyway. If I don't impart the exact same information and outcome regardless of your response, then you'll miss a vital part of the plot progression' and then shoot him?

That'd be cool. I'd pay to watch.
Hmm.. what would be his answer? "B-b-but, I, I .. we don't allow fighting on our forums!" !BAM!

Can you blow up the entire building while you're at it?

 

[oldschool]

Wow. Creepy much?

 

[ixg]

No, it's more like a bunch of frustrated nerds who think they're edgy because they can talk tough on the internet

I rest my case

 

[Callaxes]

Thread needs more camp.

Scott skidded to a halt in his 1974 Dodge Challenger. Upon opening the door, all he could see was red. The skies were literally raining blood. Mangled bodies littered the concrete jungle where packs of hyper-werewolves roamed. Reaching into his backseat, Scott pulled out his bottle of Jack Daniels, and his baby, his Magnum 365.

"Time to get fucked up" he said with a sly grin.

He walked into the biker bar like death himself. His duster swayed in the howling wind. He shoved the door open with the intensity of a wild boar. He took another swig of whiskey. It went down smooth like the Las Vegan waitress from last night, and was tossed aside with a similar lack of ceremony. He took his pack of death sticks from out of his pocket and stuck one in his mouth.

"Any of you fruitcakes got a light?" He said with a smirk he said to the rough and tumble bikers. Tonight was going to be one to remember.

That's actualy kind of good. Or bad. But in a good way.

 

[Naked Ninja]

Making a note to thank Jolee for saving her later, Revan quickly walked down the corridor towards her chambers... and stopped abruptly when she saw Carth standing at her door. He turned her way awkwardly, obviously not having expected her to be there, and Revan crossed the remained of the distance between them slowly, watching him fidget. His eyes were red and he appeared unkempt even in his new uniform. She didn't fail to notice, either, that he slipped what appeared to be some kind of note into his jacket.

'What's this about?' Revan asked evenly as she drew close.

'Hey, beautiful.' Carth greeted her, but his light tone smacked of falseness and even his grin faltered as she frowned at him.

She nodded towards her door. 'Would you like to come in?'

He looked down at the floor. 'I... can't.'

Revan quailed inside but kept ahold of herself as she turned to face him. 'I've barely seen you this past month. I thought... I thought things would improve after you got back from your debriefing.'

'So did I.' His voice was filled with sadness. Still he refused to look her in the eyes.

Tears welled up, but she fought them off. 'Why are things so awkward now, Carth? Are you... having second thoughts?'

Slowly, he reached into his jacket and pulled out the note. He still didn't look at her, but gestured at the note in his hands helplessly, as if it explained everything. 'I've arranged... to meet with Dustil,' he mumbled. 'On Manaan. He survived, and I --'

'You didn't answer my question.'

'I have to see him,' Carth finished. He looked up at her, his expression tortured. 'I have to go,' his voice cracked and tears began to roll down his cheeks. He looked away again.

'Can I come with you?' she asked stonily, already knowing the answer.

'You're needed here.'

'You don't... want me to be with you?'

Still he refused to look her in the eyes, and said nothing. Revan's heart clenched, and despite her pride hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She reached out with a hand to touch him, but couldn't. Her hand hovered away from him, yearning, until finally, mournfully, she let it drop.

They stood there for what seemed forever. Finally Carth turned, and without a word began to walk down the corridor away from her. Revan watched him go, her tears freely flowing. She reached up and pressed the button on her panel to open her door, but before stepping inside she turned and looked at Carth. 'What happened to the man who said he'd stand beside me, no matter what?' she whispered bitterly. 'You said you'd protect me.' With that, she entered her room and the door closed.

Carth stopped where he was, wincing as if physically struck. He closed his eyes and slowly mouthed the words to himself: I am.

I'm trying to decide if he is actually a bad writer or simply understands the teenage girl market perfectly. I mean, read those comments. Hmmm.

Same thing with the Dragon Age novel. It looks like tripe, then again it also looks like the kind of tripe teenage boys would eat up. I mean hell, look at Harry Potter. Part of me is hoping this is simply a cynical ploy.

 

[hiver]

Can you hurry up and make a game for adults please?
Pretty please... with cream and sugar on top?

 

[Naked Ninja]

I am working on it even as we speak.

 

[hiver]

Well... that will alleviate some of the pain behind my eyes.


I actually read all of that you quoted... so im pretty close to tears meself now....

Its...its like some offensive meme... arghghh... think about SoW, think about SoW.... AoD is good too...

 

[Naked Ninja]

Lol, you think that is bad, I went and watched Twilight with my girlfriend monday night and felt a pain so great it was almost physical. Heaven help me, it was just so utterly terrible.

But I did it as a gift for her. Usually she refuses to watch movies like that with me, the expression on my face alone ruins it for her. I'm still not allowed in the room while she watches Grey's Anatomy.

I promised to go with her this time and not make any comments, keep my expression neutral, etc etc. It was difficult, I have to admit, tested even my iron willpower.

The female mind, it's a strange, alien landscape. It's just lucky for them they have breasts, I swear.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

You really should not accept a love for Twilight in any girl over the age of 16.
Though my ex is one of the few girls I know who hated it and she turned out to be a lesbian so I guess that might be supposed to tell me something

 

[Naked Ninja]

You really should not accept a love for Twilight in any girl over the age of 16.
Though my ex is one of the few girls I know who hated it and she turned out to be a lesbian so I guess that might be supposed to tell me something

Meh, that "ordinary girl falls for the dangerous, mysterious guy with a heart of gold" plot is one that hits home with most women no matter their age. The best you can hope for is that the writing gets better.

 

[hiver]

Fortunately i have no idea what is twilight.
And i would like to keep it that way thank you!

Talking about watching a romantic movie with a girlfriend i had a pleasure of watching Titanic while my girlfriend plucked hairs on my forearm in most of the tense moments never noticing what she is doing.

 

[Lesifoere]

It's more than that, though: in this case the dark, mysterious man is also an abusive, over-protective fuckwad with stalker tendencies. I find it rather insulting, if anything, and I regard anyone over the age of fourteen who genuinely likes Twilight--without any irony--as a cretinous dimwit who deserves to be lobotomized, concrete-tied and flung into the nearest piranha feeding pool.

 

[Rhalle]

I'm trying to decide if he is actually a bad writer or simply understands the teenage girl market perfectly. I mean, read those comments. Hmmm.

As much sarcastic abuse as he gives official forum posters, I'd be very surprised if this bit of fluff was in earnest.

It seems to me it's a lark; can you imagine HK-47 reading it?

Not that it makes him Tolstoy or anything-- just a professional writer, which is otherwise knows as a person who manipulates others through text.

 

[Naked Ninja]

It's more than that, though: in this case the dark, mysterious man is also an abusive, over-protective fuckwad with stalker tendencies.

One of the ironies of human fantasies, I reckon, a lot of what people fantasize about would actually be fairly crap in real life.

Many women do actually go for that dangerous type of guy, especially when they are younger. And end up in abusive relationships with dickwads, while the nice guys who'd treat them right get passed over.

On the flip side of the equation, almost all porn for men on the internet is built around the fantasy of women who are completely sexually accommodating, "easy" as it where. Yet such women are actually fairly distasteful in real life, the idea of dating a woman who opened her legs whenever any man so much as blinks at her is not one that most guys look for in a partner.

Humanity is an amusing species, really.

 

[Warden]

Disclaimer:

Those would have to be rubber bullets. Killing dg would kill... something.
And I'm a good person.

Naked Ninja... are you really a naked ninja?