D. Gaider - from writing games to writing novels

[Applegate's Breasts]

Mmm, his one non-game writing that I can find is this one. It's... KotOR fanfic written as a conclusion for the female!Revan/Carth romance. I'll let the text speak for itself:

So Carth went to her. He slowly made his way down the ramp, his steps becoming more urgent the closer he got to her. He began to run, and suddenly so did she... and as they drew together almost magnetically they sped up until their pace was a desperate sprint. And then finally he swept Revan up into his arms. They embraced, clutching to each other with an exquisite intensity.

And like a wave finally breaking upon the sand, the collected spectators broke into wild applause. The approving roar of the crowd was deafening... but neither Carth nor Revan noticed.

...

Revan disengaged slowly from their embrace and looked Carth in the face. Both of their eyes were bleary with joyful tears and really they looked ridiculous. She laughed suddenly and so did he. It felt good to laugh. The audience cheered again, and now they both looked out at the crowd bashfully, waving briefly before looking at each other and laughing giddily once more. 'I don't care what we do,' she said quietly to him. 'We have a destiny ahead of us still. Our story isn't done. Whether it's making babies or more fighting, I don't care so long as you're there with me. Think you can handle that?'

An exquisite intensity! They drew together magnetically! LET'S MAKE BABIES.

That made my day.

He and Melirinda should team up like Weis & Hickman. Imagine the possibilities.

 

[Gragt]

The Conan books are much much better than the films. Though the film version are not *that* bad.

I do not compare the movie to the books at all because Milius decided to go a different way and the end result is a very good, but not great, movie. The second one is crap though, I wish Milius did it.

I can believe that guy dares to call himself a writter, for the love of Jesus.

Anyone can be a write, not everyone can be a great, or even good, writer.

Anyway that fanfic passage managed to hurt my brain.

 

[Brother None]

Ahahaha, oh Frith. Y'know, if you took that fanfic and turn it in to any publisher, he'd laugh in your face. I can't believe they let that hack write a book.

Now I'm completely determined to read it. I always get a good chuckle out of hack-job fantasy.

 

[Darth Roxor]

I wonder if this will be worse than the Baldur's Gate book. When I think about "utter fucking shit fantasy book" that one's the first that comes to mind.

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

Can't be worse than the Baldur's Gate novelization, or the Throne of Bhaal one. I've considered suing for emotional and mental trauma, but I lost too many IQ points to remember how to go about that. If you're feeling masochistic, go read those.

Edit: Well speak of the devil.....

 

[bat_boro]

Hey, guys, what about that one lulzy fan fiction that sort of mocked the whole KOTOR story?
I remember reading it somewhere but never finished it to the end and then it was taken down from the site

 

[Elwro]

Now I'm completely determined to read it. I always get a good chuckle out of hack-job fantasy.

I had the same attitude towards the "Mark of Chaos" book which came with the collector's edition of the game (yeah, I was a Warhammer freak, fortunately something cured me). Imagine my disappointment when the book didn't turn out to be hilariously bad. Such a waste of time. I will always treasure the "Temple of Elemental Evil" book, on the other hand - some of humankind's worst dialogues right there iirc.

 

[spacemoose]

So Carth went to her. He slowly made his way down the ramp, his steps becoming more urgent the closer he got to her. He began to run, and suddenly so did she... and as they drew together almost magnetically they sped up until their pace was a desperate sprint. And then finally he swept Revan up into his arms. They embraced, clutching to each other with an exquisite intensity.

And like a wave finally breaking upon the sand, the collected spectators broke into wild applause. The approving roar of the crowd was deafening... but neither Carth nor Revan noticed.

...

Revan disengaged slowly from their embrace and looked Carth in the face. Both of their eyes were bleary with joyful tears and really they looked ridiculous. She laughed suddenly and so did he. It felt good to laugh. The audience cheered again, and now they both looked out at the crowd bashfully, waving briefly before looking at each other and laughing giddily once more. 'I don't care what we do,' she said quietly to him. 'We have a destiny ahead of us still. Our story isn't done. Whether it's making babies or more fighting, I don't care so long as you're there with me. Think you can handle that?'

_________________________________________________________/

 

[hiver]

rofls

 

[Shannow]

Well, just to be fair and before we all go completely overboard I'd like to remind everyone that that is just some out-of-context fan fic stuff.
Dgaider cannot be judged by that alone. I'm "pretty" sure that's not some serious, edited work, but more of a lulz post. (Might be wrong, of course...^^)

 

[made]

So Carth went to her. He slowly made his way down the ramp, his steps becoming more urgent the closer he got to her. He began to run, and suddenly so did she... and as they drew together almost magnetically they sped up until their pace was a desperate sprint. And then finally he swept Revan up into his arms. They embraced, clutching to each other with an exquisite intensity.

And like a wave finally breaking upon the sand, the collected spectators broke into wild applause. The approving roar of the crowd was deafening... but neither Carth nor Revan noticed.

...

Revan disengaged slowly from their embrace and looked Carth in the face. Both of their eyes were bleary with joyful tears and really they looked ridiculous. She laughed suddenly and so did he. It felt good to laugh. The audience cheered again, and now they both looked out at the crowd bashfully, waving briefly before looking at each other and laughing giddily once more. 'I don't care what we do,' she said quietly to him. 'We have a destiny ahead of us still. Our story isn't done. Whether it's making babies or more fighting, I don't care so long as you're there with me. Think you can handle that?'

I suppose that answers my question...

 

[FeelTheRads]

Can't be worse than the Baldur's Gate novelization, or the Throne of Bhaal one. I've considered suing for emotional and mental trauma, but I lost too many IQ points to remember how to go about that. If you're feeling masochistic, go read those.

Edit: Well speak of the devil.....

Bwahahaha, thanks for the hint.

 

[MetalCraze]

Dgaider cannot be judged by that alone.

But...
But all of his other works are shit too

ZING

 

[Pastel]

 

[Shannow]

Dgaider cannot be judged by that alone.

But...
But all of his other works are shit too

ZING

bad.. maybe. But certainly not on that level bad.
Erm, I mean: link or it didn't happen.

 

[MetalCraze]

http://www.bioware.com/games/

 

[rpgcodexusername]

I don't care what we do,' she said quietly to him. 'We have a destiny ahead of us still. Our story isn't done. Whether it's making babies or more fighting, I don't care so long as you're there with me. Think you can handle that?

 

[Hamster]

http://www.bioware.com/games/

So i looked at the Dragon Age forum and saw this thread title on the first page:

What kind of Grey Warden will you be?

Fuck, i am starting to hate this game already

 

[Unradscorpion]

It's pretty sad if you read that fan fic while looking at his picture.

 

[BethesdaLove]

Nao stop judging that piece of literature (fanfic) so harsh. You obviously are not the target audience for hot romances. But there is one. I thinks its not good technicaly but the fat chicks like it so .... OH GOOOD STOP STOP MAKE IT GO AWAY PLEASE UNREAD PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE

 

[RK47]

"Kiss me you fool" -Revan

was enough thanks.

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

Thread needs more camp.

Scott skidded to a halt in his 1974 Dodge Challenger. Upon opening the door, all he could see was red. The skies were literally raining blood. Mangled bodies littered the concrete jungle where packs of hyper-werewolves roamed. Reaching into his backseat, Scott pulled out his bottle of Jack Daniels, and his baby, his Magnum 365.

"Time to get fucked up" he said with a sly grin.

He walked into the biker bar like death himself. His duster swayed in the howling wind. He shoved the door open with the intensity of a wild boar. He took another swig of whiskey. It went down smooth like the Las Vegan waitress from last night, and was tossed aside with a similar lack of ceremony. He took his pack of death sticks from out of his pocket and stuck one in his mouth.

"Any of you fruitcakes got a light?" He said with a smirk he said to the rough and tumble bikers. Tonight was going to be one to remember.

Our dropship bounced and bump as it hurtled throught the cloudy atmosphere of the planet Rapture-412...a barren rock in the jockstrap asteroid belt of Sector 4. I began final check on my loadout, strapping my 7 deadly kiling blades to various holsters and belts all over my incredibly muscular 6' 4" frame and loaded a lazer blaster pistol into my boot. I grabbed a battle riffle and popped in a fresh magazine of silver exploding tip bullits. I caught a glimpse out of the drop-pod's single porthole as we desended below the cloud layer. I could see 4 out of 5 of the planets moons illuminated brightly.

Illuminated on the ground below, i could see legions of zombeys fighting huge groups of hyper-werewolves. As our pod slammed into the blood soaked soil, I kicked open the door.

I looked to my right and said to the Master Cheif "Time to get fucked up"

John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.

 

[spacemoose]

*dgaider never appears on the codex again* :duckhunt dog:

 

[Zomg]

sweet jesus

 

[spacemoose]

thanks for this thread btw, monolith