From Software Dark Souls 3

[Skinwalker]

Finally beat Mydeer after a lot of patient dodging and single-attacking. He staggered in the end and I finished him off with a stab in his other eye, which was nice. Good thing I had that ridiculously oversized katana that I had previously never used, it came in handy. This boss wasn't straight-up bad like the couple of previous ones, just the kind of DS boss where learning how to beat him feels like hard work that no one is paying me for. The cunt who talks to me from behind a closed door still didn't let me inside, though. And the katana that I transposed from his soul doesn't do as much damage as my Uchigatana that I've used for the whole game. Oh well.

 

[Skinwalker]

Ok, so I touched the giant sleeping girl's egg, and everything crumbled to ash. Then - yet another boss fight with a hyperactive damage sponge. I am pretty sick of this by now, so to get it over with I just cheesed "Slave Knight Gayel" with poison mist.

I have no regrets!

Then I gave the "blood of the dark soul" (wat?) to the autistic albino child, who said much the same thing he/she said at the end of the previous DLC, and... that's it? At this point I don't even care that nothing made any sense and there was no explanation, at least it's done.

Now all I have left to do is put prince Lothric's ashes on the throne, and beat the final boss. I am so close to being free of this game!

 

[Skinwalker]

And so, after much consternation, and many embers, I very impatiently beat the Soul of Cinder and absorbed the fire. A bunch of zombies bowed down to me, and the credits rolled.

THE END

 

[Silverfish]

Glad you made it through Dark Souls 3/10.

 

[Alphard]

And so, after much consternation, and many embers, I very impatiently beat the Soul of Cinder and absorbed the fire. A bunch of zombies bowed down to me, and the credits rolled.

THE END

that's the worst ending you got. you should replay the game thrice to get all the endings. it's how things are supposed to be done in Nipponia

 

[Nathir]

Finished the "Ashes of Ariandel" level. The final boss fight was the worst one in the entire game, with three different phases that are designed to wear you down physically and emotionally. By the time I finally beat it, the first phase was just a time-waster chore, the second an annoying mess, and the third was the only one that was truly challenging and enjoyable to fight (even though it's pure anime at this point)... wish it would start there.

I also had no idea what I was supposed to be doing the entire time (well, narratively-speaking), including now that I beat the final boss. Some vague mumblings about a "rotting painting", some giant weirdo with a bowl of fire, very vague and poorly-executed storytelling, even for a souls game. I wasn't even sure why I was fighting the final boss, other than for some reason she'd rather have her whole world physically rot than let the autistic albino child draw a new "painting"... for some reason. Who is this child? Who was the guy that transported me to this world in the first place? Would it kill them to explain ANYTHING? And outside of item descriptions, preferably...

Enemies were basically one of two categories: a. insufferably beefy regular enemies (the big viking dudes), and b. piss-easy waste of time (everyone else).

Now I'm at a bonfire that is supposed to take me to the "Dreg Heap", whatever that is. No explanation, of course, not even a little bit. I need a break from this crap.

Well, as far as I could tell, nothing in DS3 makes any sense. The plot is literally "the world is ending and multiple realities and timelines are merging into one". And there are multiple meta-narratives about how he (Miyazaki) doesn't want to be making Dark Souls anymore and how we should all move on or something. I might be wrong but the painter is supposed to be Miyazaki and he wants to paint new worlds (aka make new games) but the audience/corporate bosses want more Dark Souls games (Friede wants to keep the status quo, even though everything is stale and rotting away). There is no actual reason why you need the Dark Souls to paint a new painting. Or why a new painting would even matter, when the whole world is literally ending. The reason for the cataclysm is too many Dark Souls games (too many rekindlings of the first flame), and I am sure there is more, but I forgot, even though I replayed DS3 like half a year ago.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

that's the worst ending you got. you should replay the game thrice to get all the endings. it's how things are supposed to be done in Nipponia

Or simply achieve the best ending on one's first and only playthrough.


The First Flame quickly fades.
Darkness will shortly settle.
But one day, tiny flames will dance across the darkness.
Like embers, linked by lords past.

Ashen One, hearest thou my voice, still?

 

[Alphard]

that's the worst ending you got. you should replay the game thrice to get all the endings. it's how things are supposed to be done in Nipponia

Or simply achieve the best ending on one's first and only playthrough.


The First Flame quickly fades.
Darkness will shortly settle.
But one day, tiny flames will dance across the darkness.
Like embers, linked by lords past.

Ashen One, hearest thou my voice, still?

i did !

 

[Max Damage]

Holy shit, enough with dudes with shields + lightning + glowing eyes already! Is there contractual obligation to make last parts of these games as unfun as possible?

 

[Cat Headed Eagle]

Are those the stairs leading to the Twin Princes? Why do you only have +5 Estus?

 

[Max Damage]

Because it's my first playthrough and the 11 charges I have let me kill Dragonslayer Armor on first try anyway.

 

[Caim]

Are those the stairs leading to the Twin Princes? Why do you only have +5 Estus?

Lmao look at this casual not doing Dancer before Vordt and glitching into the Archives early just to get a proper challenge.

 

[Max Damage]

RIP Friede, you were the best part of this crappy DLC.

 

[Skinwalker]

More like the worst part.

 

[Max Damage]

Gael done, and so am I with DS3 DLC. Everything outside of bosses is annoying as shit to fight and you don't even get more souls than you could farm in base game. Hell, in Ashes of Ariandel most common drop seems to be large titanite shards, who even gives a shit about those at that point? Give me a break.

 

[Max Damage]

Aaand DS3 is done. It was fun overall, even if some of the late game enemies tried my patience. Maybe I will write a more detailed breakdown later, but right now I need some rest. In short, it felt like more solid experience that DaS, but the games have many differences, and there're parts in journey and gameplay that I liked in first game more.

 

[Skinwalker]

Ashes of Ariandel was a giant pile of shit. I still can't believe they shoved all the relevant plot information into item descriptions, namely items you can transmute only AFTER you've beaten the final boss.

 

[Silva]

Finished the "Ashes of Ariandel" level. The final boss fight was the worst one in the entire game

Bro wut. Elfriede is Top10 soulsborne bosses ever, right there with Sword Saint, Ludwig and co. Are you sure you didn't face her underleved or something?

I also had no idea what I was supposed to be doing the entire time (well, narratively-speaking), including now that I beat the final boss. Some vague mumblings about a "rotting painting", some giant weirdo with a bowl of fire, very vague and poorly-executed storytelling, even for a souls game. I wasn't even sure why I was fighting the final boss, other than for some reason she'd rather have her whole world physically rot than let the autistic albino child draw a new "painting"... for some reason. Who is this child? Who was the guy that transported me to this world in the first place? Would it kill them to explain ANYTHING? And outside of item descriptions, preferably...

Yeah, for good or bad (mostly bad) DS3 drank from Bloodborne overly cryptic storytelling and now every plotline, no matter how minor, is full of needless obfuscation.

The TL;DR for the DLCs is that Painted World is an escape route from the ending world outside, but it's also going through it's own apocalypse caused by estagnation/rot instead. To save it you need to 1. let it burn, by killing Elfriede (bitch was afraid of fire after being burned by the flame outside, and now convinced everybody here to keep fire at bay), and 2. find the dark "pigment" for the painter, which is basically blood from some being that contains the dark soul (the Rose of Ariandel description says each new world is painted with blood/it's blood that goes into that girl canvas). Then it's just a matter to follow old dude Gael to the end of times to get his blood, after he devoured all pygmies and their souls (see that attack of his where lots of red angry souls explode and go at you - those are the tormented pygmies he ate during all this time, the guy is fucking cursed).

DS3 is a mess, yes, but the DLCs are pretty good. You have a coherent narrative for once and a proper final boss to end the series (neither of which can be said for base game) besides great fights in Elfriede, Twin Demons, Darkeater Midir, Corvian knights, Sir Vilhelm, Harald fatsos, Angels, Ringed Knights, etc. and proper "old school" level design in Ringed City with sparse bonfires calling back to the first DS.


P.S: about meta-narratives, give me Miyazaki's obfuscation anytime over.. say.. Kojima's mental diarrhea. At least here I can ignore it if I wish, while Metal Gear Solid forces me to watch long cringey cutscenes.

 

[Cat Headed Eagle]

the twin demons are NOT a good fight, their hp bar is way too fucking big and it just takes too fucking long to be over

 

[CthuluIsSpy]

Eh, my problem was more that it was another big monster fight which means that most of the time you're fighting the camera as you're trying to see what the hell is going on.
They do have a beefy health bar, but that's still not as beefy as Midir's.

 

[Silva]

On my yearly playthrough now as a Luck/Bleed build (45/45 Dex-Lck) and jeeeeesus christ, it's so crap it hurts. Bleed infusion is so weak that most weapons end up better hollow-infused + carthus rouged.

From always seemed to struggle with Bleeding, huh? Here it's nerfed to the ground while in Elden Ring it's ridiculously OP. Did they ever get it right in some game?

 

[Skinwalker]

Bro wut. Elfriede is Top10 soulsborne bosses ever, right there with Sword Saint, Ludwig and co. Are you sure you didn't face her underleved or something?

Don't remember what level I was, but I found it excruciatingly difficult and annoying to go through three stages of this shit. Ludwig can also suck my balls (although, I definitely was underleveled when I fought him).

 

[Skinwalker]

The TL;DR for the DLCs is that Painted World is [entire paragraph]

tl;dr for Ariandel is that it's a dying world with exactly the opposite pattern of what we normally have in Dark Souls: instead of the flame dying and needing rekindling to artificially prolong the status quo, it's a flame that naturally rises to devour the old world, but is being doused with Ariandel's blood to suppress it.

You find out this crucial plot-relevant information AFTER you beat the entire DLC, in the item descriptions for weapons you get from Friede's and/or Ariandel's soul(s). Which is confusion of the highest order.

 

[Silva]

You find out this crucial plot-relevant information AFTER you beat the entire DLC, in the item descriptions for weapons you get from Friede's and/or Ariandel's soul(s). Which is confusion of the highest order.

Huh no? The very first corvian you talk to in that village explains the situation to you..

"Oh wondrous Ash, grant us our wish.
Make the tales true, and burn this world away.

[...]

Surely you've seen the rot that afflicts this world.
But that witch fooled the good Father, and buried the flame.
After we had all made up our minds, too.
So, please, grant us one wish.
Make the tales true, and burn this world away."

 

[Skinwalker]

Huh no? The very first corvian you talk to in that village explains it to you straight.

That's an extremely cryptic way of explaining things. In hindsight it makes sense, but it depends on a lot of prior knowledge. E.g. how is someone supposed to make sense of these lines?

"My Lady must see flame, and you have only to show her."
"But that witch fooled the good Father, and buried the flame."

It sounds like the plucked chicken is just insane and contradicting himself, because at that point the only "lady" you've met was Friede, and she seems to also be the witch, so what gives? Oh right, the "lady" here is actually the autistic painter child (with unexplained origins), whom you meet for the first time some time AFTER talking to the plucked chicken. By which time you would have long forgotten the disgusting talking chicken's ramblings (what do they all have sticking out of their assholes, is it a giant leech or a colon prolapse? ewwwwww fuck you, FromSoftware).

"Oh wondrous Ash, grant us our wish.
Make the tales true, and burn this world away."

This also sounds like insane gibberish when you first hear it. Soulsgames are filled with NPCs who are obsessed with weird, insane, disgusting, and/or self-destructive things for no real reason (other than terminal madness), it's hard to take them all seriously. Oh, but turns out, burning this world away is the natural order which paves the way for a new and better world. If only they put even a hint of this in the chicken's speech.