Game News David Gaider's reaction to Rock, Paper, Shotgun preview

[Annie Mitsoda]

Those pesky Archdemons, with their armies and their stripey pants and their hip-hop music! Bringing down the property value! HEY! GET YOUR DAMN ARMY OFF MY LAWN!

(sorry, had to. for NO REASON)

 

[Kingston]

" Every once in a while, an Archdemon rises up and gathers a dark army. "

Shit, nice epic plot.

Darkspawn: Hey boss, wake up. We gotta get going

Archdemon: *Moans* What? That time of the year already?

Darkspawn: Yup, c'mon then. We don't want to be late.

Archdemon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. *sighs* Fucking hangover... Alright everyone, let's get you know moving. Get the swords and whatever. The wolves and shit.

Darkspawn: We know boss.

Archdemon: Yeah, exactly. What the fuck do you need me for? This is so fucking pointless, we're gonna get our asses kicked man. I'm telling you.

Darkspawn: We know boss.

Archdemon: Every year, man. Those humans are always so excited, prepare their whole lives for this shit. It's just a stupid battle. They're out there all pumped up waving their swords and hurr durring around the place.

Darkspawn: We know boss. You said that last time boss.

Archdemon: Yeah yeah. Why don't we just bail this year? You know, stay here and smoke pot. Let those gay wardens stay up there holding their dicks. I'm tired of this shit.

Darkspawn: We can do that?

Archdemon: We're demons, ain't we?

 

[BlitzKitchen]

" Every once in a while, an Archdemon rises up and gathers a dark army. "

Shit, nice epic plot.

Darkspawn: Hey boss, wake up. We gotta get going

Archdemon: *Moans* What? That time of the year already?

Darkspawn: Yup, c'mon then. We don't want to be late.

Archdemon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. *sighs* Fucking hangover... Alright everyone, let's get you know moving. Get the swords and whatever. The wolves and shit.

Darkspawn: We know boss.

Archdemon: Yeah, exactly. What the fuck do you need me for? This is so fucking pointless, we're gonna get our asses kicked man. I'm telling you.

Darkspawn: We know boss.

Archdemon: Every year, man. Those humans are always so excited, prepare their whole lives for this shit. It's just a stupid battle. They're out there all pumped up waving their swords and hurr durring around the place.

Darkspawn: We know boss. You said that last time boss.

Archdemon: Yeah yeah. Why don't we just bail this year? You know, stay here and smoke pot. Let those gay wardens stay up there holding their dicks. I'm tired of this shit.

Darkspawn: We can do that?

Archdemon: We're demons, ain't we?

Dragon Age might just be so horrible of a game that the AI will refuse to play.

 

[Chefe]

Dragon Age will truly be the epic to end all epics.

The real question is, will I finally be able to have sex with Imoen in this game?

 

[Lurkar]

...How the christ did they go even lower then my expectations...?!

 

[Shannow]

They did change my criticism in one point, though. Since I seem to have been the only one who cared I don't expect you to give a fuck, but I'll still tell you:
Before it always sounded as if your romancing/influence would influence their stats (and possibly yours) like in MotB, e.g.. I always found the whole concept crappy. Now they called this "you have inspired her and she will fight better". I now see the concept from another side and don't think it sucks outright. Now I'd say it depends on execution (does it work like a constant "Bless" or like constant "Greater Heroism", eg., does it make a pitifully easy game even less challanging or is it a much needed boost, does it make sense like with Morte or is it fucked up like in MotB, is it interesting to get to know your companions enough to achieve it, again like in PS:T, or rather meh like in ME, NWN(2) et al., etc, etc).

 

[Jaesun]

" Every once in a while, an ArchCat rises up and gathers a dark army. "

Shit, nice epic plot.

 

[Jim Cojones]

Morrigan's "It is cold in my tenet all alone." was probably the most terrifying example of bad voice-acting I've ever heard.

Amazing shot. They certainly know in Bioware how to use camera to present what is the most important part of an RPG!

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Hueg shoulder pads, giant gargantuan sword or (lack of) clevage?

Darkspawn: We can do that?

Archdemon: We're demons, ain't we?

I think demons are supposed to like senseless stupid shit, aka chaos

 

[Chefe]

They're demons of the RAWR KILL EVERYTHING variety? Boo

 

[FeelTheRads]

If you're going by the comments there you're immature if you consider these romances fake.

...

And god, the voice acting... TEH VOICEACTING!!!!

 

[RK47]

And god, the voice acting... TEH VOICEACTING!!!!

Bioware responds:

1.And? What do you want me do about it?
2.Then get a thicker blanket.
3.Well we can't have that.
4.You must be joking

 

[Clockwork Knight]

They're demons of the RAWR KILL EVERYTHING variety? Boo

not every demon can be a manipulating behind-the-curtains mastermind

 

[poocolator]

 

[Chefe]

They're demons of the RAWR KILL EVERYTHING variety? Boo

not every demon can be a manipulating behind-the-curtains mastermind

At least give them some ambition beyond "I HATE THE REALM OF MAN! LETS KILL 'EM ALL!"

 

[bhlaab]

Morrigan's "It is cold in my tenet all alone." was probably the most terrifying example of bad voice-acting I've ever heard.

Amazing shot. They certainly know in Bioware how to use camera to present what is the most important part of an RPG!

hm, well she's talking so it would make sense that they'd try to center on her eye level. And they don't want to give off the intention that she's cowering below you, so it's not angled down. Still, they could have backed your character up a bit to make him look less towering but maybe that's the point.

 

[Chefe]

 

[MetalCraze]

A goddamn shoulder covering more than half of the screen - CINEMATIC

 

[Gosling]

Morrigan's "It is cold in my tenet all alone." was probably the most terrifying example of bad voice-acting I've ever heard.

Amazing shot. They certainly know in Bioware how to use camera to present what is the most important part of an RPG!

Did they summon Jorn Utzon's spirit to design the shoulder pads?

 

[Monocause]

 

[Lurkar]

You know, if the demon wakes up every once in awhile, it's not exactly an eternal slumber, is it?

Honestly though? I can't even come up with complaints. That's not to say I have no complaints, simply that I don't see the purpose of listing them. Good fucking christ that video was so fucking horrible, I'm at a loss of words to describe it.

 

[Jaime Lannister]

So they put up the presentation or at least a bit of it. The dialogue, voice acting and presentation are all every bit as awful as RPS describes it, sadly.

games really need to go back to a black screen for sex, Fallout 1 and 2 and BG2 had it and it lessened the pain of amateur writing.

 

[Wyrmlord]

A goddamn shoulder covering more than half of the screen - CINEMATIC

That's pretty much every DA dialogue screen.

 

[aries202]

-ehm-

I think you're missing the big picture here. There are ancient gods sleeping eternally deep inside the caverns beneath Fereldan soil. The old gods are gone now, except for maybe 7 or 8 that still sleeps.

When the Blight happens, it is the Darkspawn that awakens the Dragon, the old God, they corrupt this old god to become the Archdemon. After each defeated Blight, one of the old Dragons, the Archdemon, dies. And then the countdown begins. How many old Gods are there left now ?

In a more general comment, less is indeed more when it comes to sex or love scenes in in games.
What is wrong with showing a sword being put into the fire, and then a fade to black or a cut to the next morning. In old movies they would have the train travel through a tunnel to suggest to the audience what was going on between the man and the woman in that scene. Worked quite well, I find.

Suggestions and hinting are often more stronger than showing sex or love scenes directly - as this allows us to use our own imigination.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Not to mention clever dialogues... oh wait, we are talking about a Bioware game, never mnid.