That is the difference, men are pretty straightfoward, go to Tinder and say you are an obese dwarf on minimum wage to see how women like your "personality".
I have never heard a gay guy say "the guys in my media are/should be objects for my sexual pleasure", so I'm not so sure about whether it's about women "just being women". Maybe both women and gay men are thinking it, but never say it. I'm not a mind-reader, however, so I wouldn't know.
It is simple, emphaty isnt something automatic despite what lefties like to claim, you dont give a shit about people for their personality until they actually enter on your group and you get to know them personally, your ugly as fuck friend, you like him because you got to know him, he proved his personal worthy to you. A random stranger that looks to your friend, he couldnt give a shit for him because his qualities arent visible or quick to grasp and a random stranger doesnt care into getting to know your ugly friend because he already has his friends and he has better things to do. In real life, there is a chance for this total stranger to get to know and be his friend. So, how many opportunities you have to befriend the necromancer on Diablo II? Or the Amazon?
The situation is similar when you are trying to sell a character, if you are selling a character, it is like you are trying to sell to a total stranger that this character is cool, it is the same process, the stranger will look to the character and only notice his superficial qualities, he doesnt care for the rest. If he sees that the character is sexy on the case of women or strong in the case of men, those are easy qualities that can be quickly signaled by appearances alone. This is character design 101, so, yes, all fictional characters are objects because they must be sold, contrary to normal human beings. So, they must be remarkable on some way and you must transmit the mensage you wanna sell on miliseconds. Otherwise people couldnt give a fuck and you arent entitled to their time.
Characters that are avatars to the player must transmit their qualities just by looking to them, you wont talk with those characters so you wont get to know their nuances. Assassin: "Sexy lady with edge." The player feels, hmm, I like to play that. Amazon: "Fit, athletic warrior woman." humm, I like to play that, Barbarian: Hulk smash, hmmm, I like to play that. I like seeing this sexy warrior woman stabbing stuff, I like strong man going Hulk smash and etc.
The retarded feminists are right, yeah, those characters are all objects but they completely miss the point, people dont give a shit for Miss Land Whale not because of an unrealistic "standard" of beauty but because emphaty isnt automatic and if she is exposed to a stranger, the stranger will see her like a stranger would, she has no visible, easy to grasp quality as your ugly friend, she isnt entitled to princess treatment with total strangers being forced to care about her only because she exists.
If feminists successfully ban beauty, they will be very wrong thinking people will start caring more for them because they will be still lacking the qualities people seek and on the long run, all tyrants end hanged.