Dragon Age Dragon Age: The Veilguard Pre-Release Thread [GAME RELEASED, GO TO NEW THREAD]

[Silverfish]

Those two screencaps back to back are the funniest shit ever.

 

[mediocrepoet]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard --> Dragon Age: TV --> Dragon Age: Transvestite

I kind of like this. It's like: Hey, it's okay that you aren't getting laid. It could be worse, you could be getting this.

 

[jaekl]

Spoiler

I'd like to submit my dream wife-u for dragon age - Deborah AKA "Debbie" - Debbie is a powerful trans woman of colour with a couple of disabilities which she NEVER lets slow her down. In many ways, dating debbie is like parenting a child because she had a few unfortunate birth defects and a major head injury which impair her cognition quite a bit. She also has no arms or legs but thanks to the dwarven smiths of moria, she has little sword arms and a skateboard. I wouldn't want to be a darkspawn at the bottom of a hill, I'll tell you that much!! The most touching moment in her romance storyline is when you're watching the sun set and you notice her snot and boogers are dripping into her open mouth so you wipe her nose for her. So romantic!! I can't fucking wait to see this beauty naked.

 

[RepHope]

I think it's fair to say this is Bioware's last chance. If it doesn't do well, PapEA will be bringing the studio behind the shed. Bioware haven't done well in, like, what? 10 years? I'm surprised EA haven't pulled the trigger yet.

Everyone has been saying this for years, I thought they were toast after Anthem, yet it never happens I do have a theory as to why and it relates to this second quote:

The fact that the magenta dangerhair zoomer aesthetics led to catastrophic flops in the online shooter market, populated mostly by highly competitive toxic males, doesn't mean it has the same effect elsewhere. Look at BG3, from distance it looks like the gayest RPG ever made, most characters look like a fucking Zoolander, and it sold like cocaine.

The RPG market is just different, you can bet your balls the game will be chock full of social features like romances, dating, weird sex options and other assorted faggotry. Millions of weirdos might temporarily drop their Nintendo controllers and jump into Veilguard.

Fair points, but I think the Fortnite style graphics are even breaking some sense into the normie cunts. BG3 still looked a bit fantasy, DA:tVG looks Overwatchy and even the Inquisition-loving normies know it...

It certainly wouldn't surprise me if it started to snag some Nintendo fanboys though. It's horrid, garish style, I think it's fair to say this is Bioware's last chance. If it doesn't do well, PapEA will be bringing the studio behind the shed. Bioware haven't done well in, like, what? 10 years? I'm surprised EA haven't pulled the trigger yet.

EA has obviously given some kind of blessing to this disgusting wokefest, but why? I have a theory on why EA has tolerated this purple shit factory known as Bioware for this long. Maybe EA is using Bioware as means to test the waters, to see how far they can take the political content without also infecting their mainline franchises with it. Failguard won't make them much money, not as much as it could, but EA can actually take the hit. For market research purposes. Maybe they figured that this experiment might pay off in the future. BG3 would of course serve as proof that a game can be ultra-woke as long as it covers the other coveted grounds as well. Woke in itself without competence is a death warrant.

EA was one of the first companies to pioneer this “rainbow capitalism” faggotry you see everywhere nowadays. Back in 2012 they spoke out in favor of gay marriage, and they’ve long had a reputation for supporting “progressive” agendas. Of course they only support said agenda when it doesn’t hurt their returns, which means primarily supporting social globohomo initiatives. They’re all too eager to jew customers wherever they can, however they can. Being shitlibs mean they can sell you rainbow skins for Pride Month at $9.99 a skin and still have the leftard press praise them for it. I think they keep BioWare around because BioWare also has a rep for being “progressive”, and they get brownie points with queers for letting BioWare crap out some slop for the trannies every five years or so. Otherwise I guess it’s because BioWare is the only RPG studio they have and they don’t want to completely abandon that genre just yet.

 

[lycanwarrior]

I think it's fair to say this is Bioware's last chance. If it doesn't do well, PapEA will be bringing the studio behind the shed. Bioware haven't done well in, like, what? 10 years? I'm surprised EA haven't pulled the trigger yet.

Everyone has been saying this for years, I thought they were toast after Anthem, yet it never happens I do have a theory as to why and it relates to this second quote:

The fact that the magenta dangerhair zoomer aesthetics led to catastrophic flops in the online shooter market, populated mostly by highly competitive toxic males, doesn't mean it has the same effect elsewhere. Look at BG3, from distance it looks like the gayest RPG ever made, most characters look like a fucking Zoolander, and it sold like cocaine.

The RPG market is just different, you can bet your balls the game will be chock full of social features like romances, dating, weird sex options and other assorted faggotry. Millions of weirdos might temporarily drop their Nintendo controllers and jump into Veilguard.

Fair points, but I think the Fortnite style graphics are even breaking some sense into the normie cunts. BG3 still looked a bit fantasy, DA:tVG looks Overwatchy and even the Inquisition-loving normies know it...

It certainly wouldn't surprise me if it started to snag some Nintendo fanboys though. It's horrid, garish style, I think it's fair to say this is Bioware's last chance. If it doesn't do well, PapEA will be bringing the studio behind the shed. Bioware haven't done well in, like, what? 10 years? I'm surprised EA haven't pulled the trigger yet.

EA has obviously given some kind of blessing to this disgusting wokefest, but why? I have a theory on why EA has tolerated this purple shit factory known as Bioware for this long. Maybe EA is using Bioware as means to test the waters, to see how far they can take the political content without also infecting their mainline franchises with it. Failguard won't make them much money, not as much as it could, but EA can actually take the hit. For market research purposes. Maybe they figured that this experiment might pay off in the future. BG3 would of course serve as proof that a game can be ultra-woke as long as it covers the other coveted grounds as well. Woke in itself without competence is a death warrant.

EA was one of the first companies to pioneer this “rainbow capitalism” faggotry you see everywhere nowadays. Back in 2012 they spoke out in favor of gay marriage, and they’ve long had a reputation for supporting “progressive” agendas. Of course they only support said agenda when it doesn’t hurt their returns, which means primarily supporting social globohomo initiatives. They’re all too eager to jew customers wherever they can, however they can. Being shitlibs mean they can sell you rainbow skins for Pride Month at $9.99 a skin and still have the leftard press praise them for it. I think they keep BioWare around because BioWare also has a rep for being “progressive”, and they get brownie points with queers for letting BioWare crap out some slop for the trannies every five years or so. Otherwise I guess it’s because BioWare is the only RPG studio they have and they don’t want to completely abandon that genre just yet.

But is there newest game really a "RPG" at this point???

Yeah, I guess for the younger gamers it probably is since the genre has been bastardized and watered-down in barely means anything anymore.

 

[lycanwarrior]

Kingdoms of Amalur had hot goth bitches in it.

Sure, but it was also a goofy action game with mediocre gameplay.

The combat was still very fun, at least if you played as a thief IMHO. The special attacks and combos were pretty satisfying.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

Thing is, modern BioWare includes DAO Baldur's Gate. That game was already a huge disappointment.

I don't usually write "I fixed it for you", but I fixed it for you.

 

[Lacrymas]

BG1 shouldn't have been RTwP.

 

[processdaemon]

Are these real? Is it just me or did they turn Dragon Age into Kingdoms of Amalur?

Agreed on how it seems to play but if I thought Bioware were going to pull off something as fun as the House of Ballads questline even in an otherwise mid game I'd consider buying it, so saying it's like Kingdoms of Amalur may be overselling it if anything.

 

[processdaemon]

I'd like to submit my dream wife-u for dragon age - Deborah AKA "Debbie" - Debbie is a powerful trans woman of colour with a couple of disabilities which she NEVER lets slow her down. In many ways, dating debbie is like parenting a child because she had a few unfortunate birth defects and a major head injury which impair her cognition quite a bit. She also has no arms or legs but thanks to the dwarven smiths of moria, she has little sword arms and a skateboard. I wouldn't want to be a darkspawn at the bottom of a hill, I'll tell you that much!! The most touching moment in her romance storyline is when you're watching the sun set and you notice her snot and boogers are dripping into her open mouth so you wipe her nose for her. So romantic!! I can't fucking wait to see this beauty naked.

I'm afraid that having swords for arms means she might actually be useful in combat occasionally, and after playing Andromeda I can say with some confidence that Bioware won't stand for that in their companions. Have you considered replacing the swords with anti-Chantry protest flags?

 

[Fedora Master]

I'd consider buying it

after playing Andromeda

Not making a good impression here, bruh

 

[processdaemon]

Not making a good impression here, bruh

I'm happy to stand by the statement that if there was any possibility that the game could have some genuinely good parts I'd buy it, the problem is that Bioware/EA have gone out of their way to show that that's not going to happen in their promotional material so I have no reason to give it a chance.

I'll give you that playing Andromeda is difficult to defend though, that was a bad life choice.

 

[PunchYouInTheFace]

I have no idea what this retard is talking about but..

Are you on a fucking FACEBOOK???

 

[Necrensha]

To BioWare's previous offerings, obviously. Specifically, even ToB was much better, and BG2 simply stellar in comparison. Should we judge DAO along with its contemporaries, it pales in comparison to The Witcher. Admittedly, Fallout 3 and Oblivion are worse.

On one hand true, on the other hand there's very few rpgs that won't look disappointing compared to BG2.

 

[Child of Malkav]

I'd like to submit my dream wife-u for dragon age - Deborah AKA "Debbie" - Debbie is a powerful trans woman of colour with a couple of disabilities which she NEVER lets slow her down. In many ways, dating debbie is like parenting a child because she had a few unfortunate birth defects and a major head injury which impair her cognition quite a bit. She also has no arms or legs but thanks to the dwarven smiths of moria, she has little sword arms and a skateboard. I wouldn't want to be a darkspawn at the bottom of a hill, I'll tell you that much!! The most touching moment in her romance storyline is when you're watching the sun set and you notice her snot and boogers are dripping into her open mouth so you wipe her nose for her. So romantic!! I can't fucking wait to see this beauty naked.

Wow! So stunning and brave, subverting all the expectations of the patriarchy and demolishing norms. Farry Link would be very proud. Here's your +1000 ESG points. And now go and spread the DEI word to the masses and remember: necromorph lives matter!

 

[Just Locus]

Exactly. With this approach you can have "hundreds" of skills, if most of them add +1% to specific damage type. And they can go "look how complex this is".

My impression is that they do it to go either, "LOOK HOW HUGE THIS SKILL TREE IS!" or go, "You have over 200+ skills to pick from!" — You already know this type of marketing, the type that focuses on the scale of things instead of the quality.

 

[La vie sexuelle]

There is two month to premiere.

Where are materials? I know, there was some, but still marketing for this game feels...tame.

 

[jaekl]

I'd like to submit my dream wife-u for dragon age - Deborah AKA "Debbie" - Debbie is a powerful trans woman of colour with a couple of disabilities which she NEVER lets slow her down. In many ways, dating debbie is like parenting a child because she had a few unfortunate birth defects and a major head injury which impair her cognition quite a bit. She also has no arms or legs but thanks to the dwarven smiths of moria, she has little sword arms and a skateboard. I wouldn't want to be a darkspawn at the bottom of a hill, I'll tell you that much!! The most touching moment in her romance storyline is when you're watching the sun set and you notice her snot and boogers are dripping into her open mouth so you wipe her nose for her. So romantic!! I can't fucking wait to see this beauty naked.

I'm afraid that having swords for arms means she might actually be useful in combat occasionally, and after playing Andromeda I can say with some confidence that Bioware won't stand for that in their companions. Have you considered replacing the swords with anti-Chantry protest flags?

Please keep in mind that Debbie scores very low on the oppression pyramid so we had to make her extremely overpowered to make up for thousands of years of oppression against her various defects. That said, her arm sockets will be highly moddable and you can purchase various flags using points in our cash shop. She is balanced because she gets stuck in any terrain that isn't flat and paved, at which point you'll have to tie a rope to her and use her as a flail which keeps you from using your main weapon. This can be a problem if you're a magic user. Good luck and we'll see you in the veil, fellow gamers!!

 

[Semiurge]

Spoiler

I'd like to submit my dream wife-u for dragon age - Deborah AKA "Debbie" - Debbie is a powerful trans woman of colour with a couple of disabilities which she NEVER lets slow her down. In many ways, dating debbie is like parenting a child because she had a few unfortunate birth defects and a major head injury which impair her cognition quite a bit. She also has no arms or legs but thanks to the dwarven smiths of moria, she has little sword arms and a skateboard. I wouldn't want to be a darkspawn at the bottom of a hill, I'll tell you that much!! The most touching moment in her romance storyline is when you're watching the sun set and you notice her snot and boogers are dripping into her open mouth so you wipe her nose for her. So romantic!! I can't fucking wait to see this beauty naked.

Could use some vitiligo.

 

[Reinhardt]

Spoiler

I'd like to submit my dream wife-u for dragon age - Deborah AKA "Debbie" - Debbie is a powerful trans woman of colour with a couple of disabilities which she NEVER lets slow her down. In many ways, dating debbie is like parenting a child because she had a few unfortunate birth defects and a major head injury which impair her cognition quite a bit. She also has no arms or legs but thanks to the dwarven smiths of moria, she has little sword arms and a skateboard. I wouldn't want to be a darkspawn at the bottom of a hill, I'll tell you that much!! The most touching moment in her romance storyline is when you're watching the sun set and you notice her snot and boogers are dripping into her open mouth so you wipe her nose for her. So romantic!! I can't fucking wait to see this beauty naked.

Could use some vitiligo.

it's inside

 

[jaekl]

Spoiler

I'd like to submit my dream wife-u for dragon age - Deborah AKA "Debbie" - Debbie is a powerful trans woman of colour with a couple of disabilities which she NEVER lets slow her down. In many ways, dating debbie is like parenting a child because she had a few unfortunate birth defects and a major head injury which impair her cognition quite a bit. She also has no arms or legs but thanks to the dwarven smiths of moria, she has little sword arms and a skateboard. I wouldn't want to be a darkspawn at the bottom of a hill, I'll tell you that much!! The most touching moment in her romance storyline is when you're watching the sun set and you notice her snot and boogers are dripping into her open mouth so you wipe her nose for her. So romantic!! I can't fucking wait to see this beauty naked.

Could use some vitiligo.

it's inside

Yes, thank you for your concerns guys. I hate to spoil this fantastic romance arc but in the interest of keeping you from getting upset with us, I must bring this to light.

You'll find out while dating Debbie that she won't ever let you take her shirt off, even when you're pumping loads into her artificial pussy cavity. This is because she is falsely ashamed of the skin condition hiding beneath it. Through the power of love you will be able to help her overcome this fear and she'll later win the national beauty pageant. Hope this alleviates any concerns you may have.

 

[Terenty]

she'll later win the national beauty pageant.

Is it true that she wins both Miss Universe and Mr. Olympia at the same time?

 

[Storyfag]

Reminder:

Is this replacing the blood mage?

Yeah, to really drive home the blasphemous, unspeakable, and vile nature of such magic.

 

[Ryzer]

she'll later win the national beauty pageant.

Is it true that she wins both Miss Universe and Mr. Olympia at the same time?

It's a 10/10 in England.

 

[Goldschmidt]

This 'game' has nothing to do with gaming anymore and is just a romance simulator for women and gays, and trannies.