Faux Gothic: Let's play ArcaniA: Fall of Setarrif! (Done!!)

[Brother None]

You are Mor-Grash man! That's almost as good as Champion of Kirkwall. SOAK UP THE PRAISE WE PRAISE YOU THUS THIS IS A GOOD GAME

 

[Crooked Bee]

The question is just cant be contained any more.

Can you play a female in this game? Is there a nude/seminude mod?

You kiddin'? Of course you can't play a female in this game. This is Gothic!

 

[abnaxus]

No NPC has made fun of the Chosen One's hairdo yet?

 

[Crooked Bee]

Having collected all the four key stones, I can now unlock the door to the ancient tomb. Milten is sure to be overjoyed.

Now the door to the burial temple has opened, and you can enter the temple.

The four artefacts we are looking for are somewhere on the lowest level.

(Of course. )

They are probably not only protected by the key stones. The texts mentioned some deep water and a mechanism holding it back.

(A puzzle? Haha, no way.)

...you'll have to sort that out yourself.

I will. What do the artefacts I have to fetch from the temple look like?

The texts I studied only mentioned the four holy artefacts of the goddess. The Setarrifian kings wielded them in their long fight against the Jharkendar and the demons they had allied with.

...and so their army eventually succeeded against the flood of Jharkendars.

Do you think the artefacts will develop their power for us too?

I do hope so. I hope they will grant you their power.

For me?

(You're the chosen one, duh.)

Many many centuries ago, the Setarrifian kings were the goddess' chosen ones. That is what the texts on the stone block here transmit.

(Transmit? )

I believe that now you are the goddess' chosen one.



(That's captain shepherd, silly.)

Wasn't Melgan, the founder of Feshyr, a bastard of the first Setarrifian king? I remember having read something like that.

Perhaps it doesn't matter at all, and there's something else to you... that made the goddess choose you.

Whatever. I'm going into the temple now to fetch the artefacts.

Yes, my friend. You do that!

With that, the conversation ends.



Soul-searching, my butt.



What? I'm here to descend into the god-damned temple, you stupid prick.



And down I go.



What's with these giant mushrooms, really?



Golems and Emerald Spiders. No, seriously. Emerald. That's what they're called.



Meaningless loot.



And a lever that drains the water from the level below, allowing me to access it. Next-gen puzzles ahoy!



Going down one level means: more spiders, more golems, more zombies.



And vast halls filled with an army of skeletons, of course. The skeletons, just like the possessed, come in three varieties: melee fighters, archers, and mages. Imaginative, isn't it?



The second lever, draining level three of water, is located in a room literally packed with spiders and zombie thingies. This dungeon is even more tedious than the mines, since the enemies here seem to have really bloated HP.



Ain't I a thoughtful one, ain't I a wise one.



Skeleton mages are kind of nasty when in groups. Good thing they're kind of slow.



Note the exclamation mark.



It's the first of the four legendary artefacts we're supposed to find down here.



Looks like I've stripped Ethorn of his dignity. Oh well, such is the life of a hero.

Not pictured: tediously crawling through the next part of the dungeon until I reach...



The second artefact!



Now poor Ethorn is stripped of his honour as well. Eh, he's dead, so it's not like he cares.

Not pictured: tediously crawling through the next part of the dungeon until I reach...



The next exclamation mark!



The demon may look scary and bossy, but it's a wimp at heart.



And Ethorn's fame is now mine, too.

WHEN SUDDENLY

THE SCREEN GOES BLACK

AND A GHOSTLY FIGURE APPEARS

I'm wondering if Xardas is going to appear later in the game.

He did in the OC. As a quite convenient Xardas Ex Machina saying 'I WILL SHOW YOU THE PATH TO VICTORY @_@ ' basically. I am sure he will pop up here, too.

I see you took the goddess' holy artefacts.

I'm still missing one.

You won't find it here.

(Oh for fuck's sake.)

Why not?

(Because this. is. filler.)



(Aaaah those ghostly hands! They scare me!)



(My reaction exactly.)

No, you don't.

?

The Seal of the Goddess is already in Setarrif. Selena, the last of the Ahn'Nosiri, brought it here... but servant demons of the archdemon ambushed her.

(Oh FFS.)

...and the demon will prevail.

Where do I find Selena?

The servant demons are attacking her. Hurry!



Wait... just why have I lost all the artefacts all of a sudden? Have I given them away... to Xardas' ghost?

We've discussed it all.

All right, outside I go, then.



Naturally, I can't just exit the damn place. I have some possessed to slay first.



I see the light!



Oh well, more derpy filler content awaits, so stay tuned!

 

[Brother None]

Short update for what I assume was hella long gameplaywise.

Also, I really dig the way this game explains major plotpoints. It's either "it's too grand for you to understand" or "it doesn't really matter does it?" Brilliant.

 

[lightbane]

Oh my god, Xardas, what they have done to you??? They were too lazy to give you a new model so they recycled a "generic ghost" one, right?

Yeah, like plot shoehorning

Fun fact, I was half-expecting you were to take Ethros' Virginity at some point.

 

[laclongquan]

Lightbane you disappoint!

Yeah, like plot shoehorning

If that doesnt call for a Period Eating Joke I dont know what will.

Of course I can make a vampire joke, but that is too lame to contemplate.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Short update for what I assume was hella long gameplaywise.

Well, it sure felt like eternity. I could've easily included a hundred samey-looking screenshots showing off different parts of the dungeon and all the fights I had to endure through, but I'm feeling merciful today.

 

[spekkio]

Next-gen gaming at its best!

 

[1451]

The puzzles were really topnotch. Comparable only to Riven.

 

[Crooked Bee]

The more i learn, the more unlearnt i feel... paradoxical, isn't it?

Wait. That sounds familiar...

Oh.

 

[CappenVarra]

Lightbane you disappoint!

Yeah, like plot shoehorning

If that doesnt call for a Period Eating Joke I dont know what will.

Of course I can make a vampire joke, but that is too lame to contemplate.

Since you're apparently too cool, I'll take the burden of lameness and say what everybody following VtM LPs is thinking: Tasteful Diablerie is the only answer!! Devour soul!! No gods, no masters!! This. Is. Setarrif!!

 

[ironyuri]

I don't know about 'wise'. I'd say more than anything your char is just tired of being stuck in this fucking awful game.

 

[Storyfag]

Lightbane you disappoint!

Yeah, like plot shoehorning

If that doesnt call for a Period Eating Joke I dont know what will.

Of course I can make a vampire joke, but that is too lame to contemplate.

Since you're apparently too cool, I'll take the burden of lameness and say what everybody following VtM LPs is thinking: Tasteful Diablerie is the only answer!! Devour soul!! No gods, no masters!! This. Is. Setarrif!!

for the Diablerie

and for Devour soul!

 

[Crooked Bee]

I don't know about 'wise'. I'd say more than anything your char is just tired of being stuck in this fucking awful game.

Haha true that. Thanks for setting me straight.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Oh my god, Xardas, what they have done to you??? They were too lazy to give you a new model so they recycled a "generic ghost" one, right? .

No, you do not understand.

It is Xardas casting his ASTRAL PROJECTION from the safety of his MAGNIFICENT TOWER OF DOOM stuck in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, that's just how POWERFUL he is!

 

[lightbane]

I know, but that's the problem, he could teleport anywhere whenever he wanted, it doesn't make any sense that he now decides to send a lame astral projection.

 

[Darth Roxor]

I see you still do not understand the exquisitely deep intricacies of the magical, mystical world of Arcania

 

[Havoc]

I see you still do not understand the exquisitely deep intricacies of the magical, mystical world of Arcania

In short: IT'S SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING HERE?! THEY BUTTFUCK THE WHOLE GOTHIC LORE!

 

[Ammar]

I see you still do not understand the exquisitely deep intricacies of the magical, mystical world of Arcania

In short: IT'S SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING HERE?! THEY BUTTFUCK THE WHOLE GOTHIC LORE!

At least one regard in which they faithfully follow the footsteps of PB.

 

[SCO]

It's on.

 

[Crooked Bee]

It was time for me to change clothes. I was about to rescue a damsel in distress, after all!



So I equipped a powerful all-paralysing two-hander.



Switched my armour for something more shiny.



My ring for a more powerful one.



And my Goblin amulet for a lucky charm.



Hold on, Selena, here comes your knight in shining armour!

(No golden helm, though. )



Luckily, there was only one trash mob on my way...



...to the next exclamation mark!

Hold on, Karella?

Stop.

My ancestors' holy artefacts... I should be the one carrying them!

This is not a game, Princess! Go back to your people, where it is safe.



I'll post the next screenshot as well because...



DAT PALM! :yikes:

I wouldn't hesitate for one heartbeat to shed my blood for Setarrif!



(Ice burn!)

Will you give me the artefacts?

No, I won't!

Milten? He hasn't got the power to decide this. Only Adanos can do that!

What do you want? An ordeal?

Oy, first Zyra, now you!

Is it my hair?

No NPC has made fun of the Chosen One's hairdo yet?

Self-referential fun, the best one. Also, I wonder if it would be possible to 'shop The Nameless One's hairdo into that screenshot.

Come on then - fight!

My new axe has a fancy special ability --



-- it paralyses the foe for a couple of seconds. Handy!

Naturally, I prevail.

Enough! You... you win!

So you accept the divine judgement?

Yes, I do.

Go back to your people. I'll take care of the demon. Alone!

Wait!

What for?



Lord Hathon's Signet Ring gained

If you insist on carrying the artefacts... Then why didn't you fetch them from the temple a long time ago?



Oh sure you didn't. Not like you were scared or anything.

It must be ancient. We Setarrifians believe in Adanos, not in any foreign goddess.

Okay, whatever. I'm on my way.



Another day, another bunch of the possessed to slay.



Oooh, that looks nasty. Must be the demons attacking Selena.



The fight is annoying, but nothing I can't handle.



And here's the promised damsel.

The Seal... They... They took it with them.

Where to?



(Stop moaning, dammit.)

Selena! Talk to me! Where did they take the Seal of the Goddess?

Into the volcano. They... They went through that door there!

Damn! The door is magically sealed!

But they are dead. The barrier's getting weaker... weaker... But... before you go... Have you got... (moans)... the other holy artefacts of the goddess?

Yes, I have them with me. Don't worry!

I have to charge them with the power of the goddess for you, but...

But what?



So I can't be a triple-wielding machine of destruction?

Choose one, and I'll bless it for you... then you can go.



Hmm, let's see... I guess I'll choose Ethorn's Fame since it can set stuff on fire and, being one-handed, can be equipped alongside a shield.

The demon... What exactly is it?

An old fighter of chaos... my goddess banned a long time ago. If you don't stop it...

...not only here on Argaan... all over the world.

Does the demon really have the power to do that?

The divine power of my mistress... It... was still strong in the temple up in the mountain... even after all those centuries.



(So unexpected.)

So it wasn't a volcano that erupted. It was the demon?!

Yes, it was the demon.

Your goddess... What is it with her?

...she keeps it all in balance.

Like Adanos?

(weak laughter) Yes... that's what she's called nowadays.

Adanos is a woman? And what about Innos and Beliar?

The humans turned these into gods... in the course of time.

If your goddess is a mediator between order and chaos, then why doesn't she intervene now?



(Fuck, I can't believe the game's pulling that tired Deist shtick on me.)

They were supposed to determine the course of things. Now it is up to you. It already has been once before, but another human decided differently.

Ethorn?

Exactly.



And that's that. The volcano, here I come!

 

[Wyrmlord]

Why is the Level Up button always showing?

Are you in such a rush to finish the game, that it's tiresome to even go to the Level Up screen?

 

[abnaxus]

Adanos is a woman? And what about Innos and Beliar?

What a tweest.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Why is the Level Up button always showing?

You just don't get it, do you? It's the sign of the true hero's power. The signal of the untapped potential residing within you. The button of awesome, if you will, that you don't even need to press - so powerful you are. Just imagine your foes seeing you carry around such an impressive Level Up button! Wouldn't they be intimidated by the mere sight of it? Sure they would! That's what we, the current-gen devs, call the button-awesome connection (tm).

On a more serious note, I just have a shitton of spare skill points and nothing useful to invest them in. Also, having it in the screenshots makes the game look even more next-gen, which is a plus.

Adanos is a woman? And what about Innos and Beliar?

What a tweest.

Tranny gods! Perfect for a Codex LP.