Game News GOLDEN BABY RISING - Grimoire Released!

[Jaesun]

Commie is so butthurt he may not be able to sit down for six months.

Hope there's a cream for that....

 

[Daemongar]

You take issue with my honest opinion? Move to Saudi Arabia if you can't handle dissent!

Besides, the positive reviews are rarely about anything game related and most were made in the first half hour, and all they do is praise Cleve for the Incline...just memes! Why not go to task with them?

People actually played this game much longer, you know, the beta. You didn't. Your opinion is just trolling. Sorry that Cleve hurt you, but you should be a big enough man to move on. I know, his barbs go deep.

 

[commie]

Commie is so butthurt he may not be able to sit down for six months.

Hope there's a cream for that....

Go cry some more, faggot....

You take issue with my honest opinion? Move to Saudi Arabia if you can't handle dissent!

Besides, the positive reviews are rarely about anything game related and most were made in the first half hour, and all they do is praise Cleve for the Incline...just memes! Why not go to task with them?

People actually played this game much longer, you know, the beta. You didn't. Your opinion is just trolling. Sorry that Cleve hurt you, but you should be a big enough man to move on. I know, his barbs go deep.

I did play the beta...it's called the released game. Even uses the beta .exe..... Besides, even if they played a beta, so what? I played the RELEASED game, so I know how utterly shit it is. Go cry some more. If you can't even afford the game, I can give you a link to it. Don't be shy to ask.

 

[Morality Games]

Bought it, played it...well tried to, but the bugs....oh my! Looks like shit, plays like shit when it 'works'. Refunded, left a negative review(that all things considered is very even handed compared to the most recent ones now.)

Feel sad actually. So much effort for such an utterly mediocre product.

20 fucking years.....

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[Iznaliu]

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."

The torments are infinite anyway. Infinity+1 is still infinity. You might as well hope.

 

[Morality Games]

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."

The torments are infinite anyway. Infinity+1 is still infinity. You might as well hope.

Alright then. Then I suppose:

"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[Daemongar]

I did play the beta...it's called the released game. Even uses the beta .exe..... Besides, even if they played a beta, so what? I played the RELEASED game, so I know how utterly shit it is. Go cry some more. If you can't even afford the game, I can give you a link to it. Don't be shy to ask.

12 minutes. That's pretty sad. You've spent 10x more time bitching about something that cost you nothing.

 

[Iznaliu]

12 minutes. That's pretty sad. You've spent 10x more time bitching about something that cost you nothing.

As I've said, some people are simply unwilling or unable to handle pure concentrated incline.

 

[Crispy]

Just wanted to say that the game is extremely fun so far, it's refreshingly HARD, and I love it.

Bye!

 

[Lady_Error]

Fuck that shit. Ain't nobody got time for that shit

To understand Commie's butthurt, we need to go all the way back to 2014:

Cleve had his chance. I'm no longer in Australia anymore. Tried getting in touch with Cleve to arrange a date when I was there for 8 months, but he chickened out, failing to reply. He even moved states to make sure I couldn't find him.

Cleve's version of events was somewhat different:

Commie, what is it that bothers you about me waiting for you to show up at Anytime Fitness for three years? The straightforward masculinity? The complete lack of any fear? I think at one point you were promising to bring a cop with you from the QLD police. No, commie, what you really should have brought is a tank from the QLD Army reserves packing armor piercing shells. This is what a Neanderthal calls a "fair fight" with a Homo Sapiens behind the controls of the tank. Apparently, Homo Sapiens also regards this as "even" judging from the fossil remains of previous conflicts between my species and yours.

All those years I kept expecting you to roll up, imagining you a cross between Paul Reubens and Ron Palillo with an entire squad of corrupt policemen behind you, screaming out in a high-pitched girly man voice across the background noise of the gym …. "IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, BEEYOTCH! HEH HEH HEH! MEET ME OUT ON THE SIDEWALK, SUPERBOY! MY FRIENDS AND I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU!" with your severe acne turning a bright red from excitement and a sheeny film of oil running out of your greasy hair like a broken pipeline drowning some ducks in Alaska.

Thinking fast, I would grab a squat rack and conceal it behind my back subtly as I followed you down the stairs and out into the street. I would then emerge from the door and throw the squat rack into the arms of the gendarmes whilst simultaneously clapping both hands to either side of your skull, causing your head to burst like an overripe melon and spray the air in a crimson cloud of high pressure vapor.

There'd be a long pause as your headless corpse crumpled to the street and lay in a gigantic pool of blood. Finally one of the policemen would speak up. "You must be that Yank I've heard about. Could you give me an autograph?" There'd be laughs all around and we would part good friends as they stepped over your now rigid remains leaving them to be discovered by the cleaning lady who picks up the gym in the morning. After a short inquiry with the Slavic embassy, they would receive a communique from your relatives that they could not afford to have your body shipped back to Slavistan because they were saving money for a big screen television.

That's what I have been expecting. But you never showed up. Still twinking on me, though. If you look up "twink" in the dictionary, the word is illustrated with a small photo of you in that commie cap.

 

[FUDU]

Never realized commie was such a butthurt little douche.

Wonder how much longer he'll be throwing his toys out of the pram.

 

[Ranarama]

Leftist review bombing has already begun.

All the reviews by 0-level accounts with 1 game are positive and hidden behind non-english languages. Say hi to Cleve in the review comments.

 

[Wehraboo]

Leftist review bombing has already begun.

All the reviews by 0-level accounts with 1 game are positive and hidden behind non-english languages. Say hi to Cleve in the review comments.

How did you know I am a cleve alt? You are just so clever.

 

[Vorark]

Wow.

Someone should narrate the whole Grimoire saga.

 

[Lady_Error]

Reviews went up to 'Mostly Positive' and all but two negative reviews are gone from the first page.

 

[Wehraboo]

He should have left the shlomodollarstein one at least

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

There are now three eras of RPG history:

I. 1974-1994 Before Grimoire began development
II. 1994-2017 During Grimoire's development
III. 2017-???? The Golden Age of Grimoire

 

[taxalot]

Interesting that my laptop powersupply decided to die on the very same day.

 

[Forest Dweller]

Looks gay.

 

[UnknownBro]

Unbelievable.

 

[Zewp]

I guess I must be one of the lucky ones. I haven't encountered any issues in +- 2 hours of gameplay. It launched right into the game and made my way through the Raptor Shrine with no bugs that I could find.

It's all that was needed to get 5 CTD's and random fuck ups. Fuck that shit. Ain't nobody got time for that shit especially when the fat old faggot promised virtually no bugs and gloated how sublime his code was. In that time I could also see how fucking ugly the game was, the terrible movement, obtuse interface and shit palette with totally shit animations.

You take issue with my honest opinion? Move to Saudi Arabia if you can't handle dissent!

Besides, the positive reviews are rarely about anything game related and most were made in the first half hour, and all they do is praise Cleve for the Incline...just memes! Why not go to task with them?

Interesting that you felt confident enough to comment on the gameplay for a game which you played a full 12 minutes, during which there were also 5 CTDs. I'm sure 12 minutes - 5 CTDs was more than enough time to learn the interface and gameplay complexities, though.

 

[Forest Dweller]

One of the reviews:

So GRIMOIRE is out. It's a little late, since it was delayed from its original August 1 release date, which was delayed from its June release date, which was delayed from its original March 2013 release date, which was delayed from its 2005 release date, which was delayed from its 2000 release date, which was delayed from its 1997 release date. So it's been a long time coming! In the meantime, Cleve "Neanderthal" Blakemore has espoused his opinions on many things, like game design and black people and the fact that satanists designed television to make women to go crazy and eat Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream and this causes men to become stupid because they can't have sex with women who are eating ice cream so much. It's definitely a real problem, which is explained on his blog here http://vault-co.blogspot.com/2007/06/television-is-designed-to-kill.html . Fortunately men playing videogames for 600 hours doesn't affect women or themselves in any way, so Cleve is definitely NOT a hypocrite for making an endless CRPG and that's not a big deal. Phew!

Anyway, I don't want to get sidetracked with discussing Cleve's opinions, like how he thinks Stephen Hawking secretly died and was replaced by a duplicate or that black people are intrinsically stupid. Let's discuss the game! If you are familiar with CRPGs from the late 90s, you know that Wizardry 7 was to many people the pinnacle of game design and dungeon crawling. It's a well-designed product, and stands out from the other games that came out at the time, most of which tried to improve on the formula by adding bad gimmicks or lots of meaningless stats or changing the combat in ways which were detrimental to the experience. For example, FATE "improved" on Wizardry by making everything enormous for no reason, which allowed them to claim 200 hours of gameplay even though most of the world was empty or contained repeats of other areas because they simply didn't have time to make a game that big and put interesting things in all of it. Grimoire fits right into this period of CRPG design, because it's clearly based on Wizardry -- and Wiz7 in particular -- but changes the formula in ways that make it worse.

Let's talk about party composition. Wizardry had six party members. Grimoire has eight! EIGHT IS MORE! IT'S BETTER BECAUSE MORE!!! Anyway eight characters attacking an enemy at once would be a bit much if they remained the same as in Wizardry or Bard's Tale or whatever so as a result Cleve has to weaken party members and buff enemies. The result is over a long term the same balance is maintained, but in the specific case random encounters can simply kill your party members with no recourse and with nothing you could have done to prevent it. This is mostly true early on, of course, before you get spells and skills to mitigate it, and before you grind out the levels to improve your characters. If you're a big Bard's Tale fan you won't mind having your party die for no real reason over and over again early on. Anyone who's used to newer RPG design, or early RPG design in actual good games, should stay away. This ain't Might & Magic; it's more of a Wizards & Warriors. I was originally going to call it Dungeon Lords but that's, frankly, too harsh for this game. Cleve Blakemore may believe that Europeans are genetically predisposed to avoid jaywalking and Americans jaywalk because of all the non-white people poisoning our genes but even he doesn't believe David W. Bradley's Dungeon Lords is good.

Anyway! If you like shoddy Wizardry ripoffs that overpromise on everything but more or less deliver some dungeons and places to explore and items to puzzle over, and you don't mind giving your money to an insane white supremacist, then you should buy Grimoire Heralds of the Winged Exemplar. I can't say you should buy it if you like Wizardry, because those games are too good to really serve as a measuring stick. This is a game for people who have exausted every CRPG series already, for people who struggled through every other game there is. This is a game for people who think insect noises that repeat every half a second, layered for every insect in a six-enemy stack so that they make you want to kill yourself, and which you can't turn off without also turning off the music because apparently coding SFX and BGM meters separately is too hard even for a Neanderthal Supergenius, are good and cool. This is a game for people who like Eye of the Beholder -- not the real one, the GBA one -- or I guess for people who really really hate Aboriginal people. If you fit both those descriptions, buy Grimoire immediately. You will never find another game as perfect for you as this one. Hell, maybe someday Cleve will add custom portraits and you can make everyone look like Pepe or something and then you'll never need to play another game as long as you live! Mazel tov!

 

[Darkforge]

Congratulations Cleve on finally releasing the game.

Did find it amusing that none of the issues I found in the super-demo have been addressed in particular the fact that the mouse will float around the screen entirely on it's own accord on any computer faster than a potato.....

 

[Chamezero]

I don't want to get sidetracked with discussing Cleve's opinions so here's a review that is 50% that, 25% actual info about bugs and 25% "I'm bad so the game is bad"

leftards are truly the lowest life form that exists on this planet

 

[Zorba the Hutt]

Congratulations Cleve on finally releasing the game.

Did find it amusing that none of the issues I found in the super-demo have been addressed in particular the fact that the mouse will float around the screen entirely on it's own accord on any computer faster than a potato.....

Some people on the Steam forums fixed this by reducing the polling rates on their mouse to 150. Cleve said he was looking into it on his end too.