Let's Read Heroes Never End (LR: WildStorm)

[Stereotypical Villain]

Where's my update?!

 

[Sceptic]

The only power he has is to manipulate people in any way he wants by talking to them. I don't see how it's retarded

That's the thing. The power itself is completely retarded. Especially since the actual arguments we read are just laughable. Of course if you accept the power then the actual use isn't retarded and makes sense, but being told that he can manipulate people into the most advanced version of mind control evar (see what Lynch says about Grifter) just by talking like Oprah is, well...

Also, the Authority's coup wasn't Bendix's plan, he just orchestrated their downfall.

Yeah, but that was only possible because they were the US government, and that only happened because of a completely random TAO plot that TAO (and the writers) then seems to forget about entirely.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Anyway, you want me to post the StormWatch series for World's End now? After it, the titles are condensed to just WildCATs and Authority.

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

StormWatch doesn't scratch my itch anymore... especially not since Yuri Geller grew a fucking white beard.

I say skip forward to the douchebags we care about... or a parallel universe where Team Achilles is still around.

 

[Sceptic]

Anyway, you want me to post the StormWatch series for World's End now?

Is that even a question? Of COURSE we want! Even if Ellis StormWatch was the best. Might as well post the full thing!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Wait, you want me to start from the beginning of PHD, before World's End? It's a good series, even if the PHD team leader John Doran is an unbearable Nigger Sue.

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

ARGH! Just post something! I'm going insane over here, BRO!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Bro, I gotta know what to post next!

 

[Sceptic]

Wait, you want me to start from the beginning of PHD, before World's End? It's a good series, even if the PHD team leader John Doran is an unbearable Nigger Sue.

Who is PHD again? I meant post the StormWatch World's End, especially if it makes sense in light of the WildCats and Authority WE. If you mean posting StormWatch from before Ellis took over (and before the very first ones you posted), probably don't bother, as it'll only confuse the hell out of us. Just keep going chronologically from where we are now.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

PHD = Post-Human Division. Before the usual team got their regular title again following Number of the Beast (Post-Human Division was renamed Post-Earth Division for a while, before the title was just called StormWatch again).

Basically, the idea of StormWatch: Post-Human Division was that Jackson King initiates a program to provide affordable SPB law enforcement specialists on a city level, with the first experimental PHD set up in NYPD. The only previous acquintance on the team is the depowered (for the time being) Fahrenheit, others are new characters (or reformed bad guys from the pre-Ellis and pre-Moore days). The only member of the cast who appears after the series is Paris, who was the guy you saw in WildCATs. The other members are The Machinist (a former B-list supervillain coerced by Jackson to join PHD in exchange for pardon, middle-aged and lives with his mom, essentially a super-tech MacGuyver.), Monstrosity (human/daemonite hybrid who in human form is a timid, frail and puny forensics scientist whose giant-size extremely strong daemonite form on the other hand is violent and strong-willed. Extremely sexually frustrated, and it's good to point out that both forms modify the base personality and aren't at odds with each other), Paris (former StormWatch human soldier, likes animals more than people, extremely skilled and brutal hand-to-hand combatant, and has natural affinity to detect weaknesses), Gorgeous (as name suggests, a gorgeous blonde, but also has genius level IQ and is a skilled psychologist and manipulator, before Jackson coerced her to join PHD she lived comfortably as a free-loading trophy woman for various minor supervillains), Black Betty (a sorcerer's apprentice who doesn't use magic herself, relies on knowledge and wit instead) and John Doran AKA Nigger Sue (the team leader, an NYPD cop whose a usual+ badass cop, but we have to reminded about how much integrity and honor he has ALL THE FUCKING TIME).

 

[Sceptic]

OK, the PHD sounds highly unlikable from what you've posted. Still, for the sake of completeness and not having random references that nobody gets, I would request that you post the World's End PHD.

Also, where is everyone? Are Essvee and I the only people still reading this?

 

[acolyte]

I liked The Authority's World's End a lot, so I say post Stormwatch WE too. But if it won't make sense without the previous issues of PHD, maybe it's better if you could post that first? I don't know.

Also, I'm afraid this is coming to an end, right? If so, maybe posting all of PHD would keep it alive a bit longer as well.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Nah, nothing from the PHD series itself really carries over, since following World's End the series switches entirely to the regular StormWatch. The only thing you need to know is that due to extreme trauma and stress brought on by the fact hers and Jackson's baby was stillborn, Christine tried to shortcircuit Jackson's powers by having a robot make a precise laser shot at his head so he would stop being a workaholic. Needless to say, her plan had the opposite effect and Jackson's telepathic powers only heightened. Christine has been cleared by the psychiatrists since then.

 

[SoupNazi]

Yes, start from the beginning!

 

[abnaxus]

Is the entire Wildstorm universe getting a reboot along with DC? I noticed there's a #1 issue out of Stormwatch.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Actually, DC shut down WildStorm as a separate imprint and absorbed all their assets and IPs to itself. With the DC reboot, they're integrating WildStorm characters to the DCU as well, which is REALLY troubling if you ask me.

But yea, StormWatch is one of the reboot titles, and in the new DCU continuity Justice Society doesn't exist, but rather StormWatch. And it's not really StormWatch, but rather Authority + Martian Manhunter, judging by the team lineup. Grifter and Voodoo are also getting their own titles.


Anyway... Uploading the first update of StormWatch: World's End now.

Btw, does imgur check the email accounts used at registration? I've created a dozen Yahoo accounts so far for this LR...

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

 

[oldmanpaco]

I for one am all in favor of Asian schoolgirl super humans who are shown in every other frame with gratuitous pantie shots.

Why did they kill her off?

 

[Ulminati]

Clear over the Dr. Phil story arc last time

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Why did they kill her off?

You mean storywise or on a company level?

Well, storywise it was clear: They weren't going to play along with StormWatch, so they had to be removed.

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

More.