HL2: EP3 is a cumming.

[racofer]

• Valve cancels Portal 2 press event at E3 and it's amazing
  
  I'm deep in E3 planning, so when any one event gets canceled or shuffled, I'm not entirely pleased. But Valve, it can do whatever it wants.
  
  See, it had a Portal 2 press conference event taking place on Monday, June 14. Now it's not happening; it's been canceled. Valve says that it has replaced the event with a "surprise," but doesn't go into any details. I'll find out, I'm sure -- I'm already penciled in to see Portal 2 (and whatever else they'd like to show me -- begin speculation now) behind-closed-doors.
  
  But why is this so amazing? It's how they canceled it. The full email, in all of its glory, after the jump.
  
  

  Subject: A note from Aperture Science
  
  Dear Subject Name Here,
  
  Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word "surprise", of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise.
  
  If you'd like to ask fruitless questions about the E3 Portal 2 surprise or, more fruitfully, schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's Special Envoy to Surprises, Doug Lombardi.
  
  Thank you for <<RECORD SCRATCH!!!>>
  
  PS: The surprising record scratch is also not the surprise.

If not, they will have it :!:

 

[kingcomrade]

portal was popamole

 

[poocolator]

Halif-Life RPG here we cooooooooooooooome.

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN WHAT IF EP3 IS GOING TO BE BUNDLED WITH PORTAL 2 OH GOD TAKE ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW GABEN

 

[Destroid]

Half-life: Online

 

[BLOBERT]

BROS FUCK THIS POPAMOLE BULLSHIT REAL MEN WHILL PLAY MINESWEEPER I AM SO DRINKL I CAN HARDLY SEE THE KEPTYBOARD

 

[Jack]

BROS FUCK THIS POPAMOLE BULLSHIT REAL MEN WHILL PLAY MINESWEEPER I AM SO DRINKL I CAN HARDLY SEE THE KEPTYBOARD

THAT'S THE SPIRIT BRO YOU WILL TOTALLY GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS ONE OF THE BROEST OF BROS!

 

[BLOBERT]

BRO WE ARE TOTAL BROS NROPFIST>>>>>???

 

[Jack]

TOTALLY BROFIST BRO!!!

 

[Destroid]

The only good things valve ever made were steam and half life 1 engine.

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

EXCUSE ME YOUARE WRONG HALF LIFE 2 : OWNS
PROTAL: WNS
LEFT FORU DEAD: OWNS
LEFT FOUJR DEAD TWO: OWNS
TEAM FORPTRESS TWO OWNS:
COUNTER STRIKE STORUCE OWNS
DAY OF DEFEAT OWNS
VAMPIRE TTEHE MASKERATE BLOODLIENS OWNS
THE SHIP OWNS
HALF LIFE BLUESHIFT OWNS
HALF LIFE OPOOSING FORCE OWNS

 

[Felix]

Half of those weren't made by Valve.

 

[Jaesun]

Half of those weren't made by Valve.

The village Idiot tag would be so relevant... But I think he is trying TOO hard for it.

 

[relootz]

Half of those weren't made by Valve.

The village Idiot tag would be so relevant... But I think he is trying TOO hard for it.

Really? You think?

Anyway i will play it even when i did not finish HL2 EP2, i should replay that i guess.

 

[Jimmy McDunce]

i cum too

 

[ScottishMartialArts]

Anyway i will play it even when i did not finish HL2 EP2, i should replay that i guess.

Out of curiosity, why didn't you finish episode 2? I quite enjoyed that one.

 

[relootz]

Anyway i will play it even when i did not finish HL2 EP2, i should replay that i guess.

Out of curiosity, why didn't you finish episode 2? I quite enjoyed that one.

I formatted and didn't save my savegames , but the FOV of HL2 give me a headache and to be honest EP2 is only decent because of the continuity of the story, not because EP2 is that good.

 

[ScottishMartialArts]

Anyway i will play it even when i did not finish HL2 EP2, i should replay that i guess.

Out of curiosity, why didn't you finish episode 2? I quite enjoyed that one.

I formatted and didn't save my savegames , but the FOV of HL2 give me a headache and to be honest EP2 is only decent because of the continuity of the story, not because EP2 is that good.

I've heard that a lot of people have trouble with motion sickness in source games because the FOV is a bit unusual. You can edit the FOV in the options screen though, if that's a problem for you.

At any rate, I thought Episode 2 had some pretty nice moments too it and was a very polished and entertaining shooter. Also, Doctor Magnussen was a hoot.

 

[Malakal]

Werent they supposed to release one episode every six months? Now it doesnt make any goddamn sense, I forgot what was going on anyway.

 

[Konjad]

Well, there were COMBINES attacking EARTH and GORDON FREEMAN FREED MEN from COMMUNIST ALIENS.

Looking forward to EP3

 

[Gragt]

What a well-staged surprise.

 

[Sceptic]

Werent they supposed to release one episode every six months?

Yeah I was wondering what happened to the whole idea of episodes in the first place. Wasn't the whole point that development would NOT drag on for 3 years in-between releases?

 

[Konjad]

Perhaps they saw how retarded that idea was.
At least I hope so.

 

[Rhalle]

If this is Doug Lombardi's doing, it's probably a press conference revealing that Portal 2, even though it is only 3 hours long, will come in 146 different Episodes of DLC, each unlockable after thirty seconds of gameplay and for only $9.99 each, and that HL2:EP3 will be released in 2015 as an XBOX 1080 exclusive.

Wait, am I doing it wrong?

THEY HAD TO CANCEL THE MEETING BECAUSE GABE ATE ALL THE DONUTS HE IS RLY FAT BRO WE DONT NEED A NEWS CONFERENCE TO LEARN THAT

 

[Wulfstand]

HL 2 EP 3 is coming out

So what?

 

[Gerrard]

Gabe is a pretty cool guy.

 

[Multi-headed Cow]

Oh Gaben I love you.