Completed I want to be an Urist - A community Dwarf Fortress LP

[GarfunkeL]

Yay for more DF! Too bad I won't have time to join in but I'll cheer from the sidelines!

 

[Krash]

Hellraiser has mandated the production of updates!

Guess what's coming?

 

[Krash]

The following are extracts from the diaries of Krash Sigunàlil, from the early days of Virgintraded.

Krash’s diary, 10th of granite

Took a walk to get my bearings around the fort. It is functional, just like William said, but fuck we dwarfs can do more than functional. No one builds huge towers, trapped pyramids, or intricate mechanical devices because they need them; they build them because they can!

What’s needed here is vision and creativity – and I’ll be the supplier.

Note the gorgeous location for a ramp over the lava – with that we won’t even have to freeze when we fight.

Laborers have been reorganized for the tasks at hand. I told the miners to focus on mining and nothing else, while the rest of our merry gang has been divided into teams responsible for food, making stuff, and all those other little things that aren’t as important as mining. I was really surprised there are no cooks and, even more outrageous, no good brewers among us! Guess we’ll live on gruel and burnt black meat with soggy plump helmets cores and piss for drinks, at least for a few years or so. Feels like my good ol army days already!

Now get to work you pansy elfin girls!

Krash’s diary, 26th of granite

We’ve begun to plug the opening to the underground caves. As much as I like punching gremlins and pond grabbers, there might be real threats down below, and I’m not about to put the fort in more danger than it already is.

The Yetis are more brave than they are intelligent. Guess that’s why they’re so rare outside of these frozen wastes.

I do appreciate some tasty yeti meat. Too bad the cooks here are so useless they ruin even that.
Speaking of taste, I’ve had a new supply depot built. In solid gold. Bet it will be swarming with eager merchants soon.

Krash’s diary, 12th of slate

And the hole still isn’t plugged! It’s a race against the clock now!

(The forgotten beast has deadly dust, a very, very lethal ability (bugged). Nokast, the monster that nearly destroyed Anusblaze, also had deadly dust, spreading a nasty syndrome with it as a bonus.)

Yes that’s fascinating, really, but I’m busy now. Go away.

Krash’s diary, 12th of slate

We managed to close the opening before the beast got in. I can still hear it rampaging down there, probably enraged that it was denied a tasty dwarf buffet. I wonder if rerouting some magma would be enough to kill it? Or perhaps we should cave in the underground cavern? Decisions decisions…

Krash’s diary, 15th of slate

My kids tell me there’s vermin in the trash dump and the food stockpiles. After punishing them for playing in the yeti remains, I put down some notes about buying cats. I love cats – on a stick over an open fire they get kinda crispy without losing the tenderness of their meat, especially the fat ones. And unlike rats they’re quite easy to skin.

Speaking of vermin, we’ve got a brand new little parasite of our very own kind.

Right in William’s office too. He wasn’t overjoyed.

Krash’s diary, 2nd of felsite

Seems like this place is getting some attention. There’s a shitload of hungry, exhausted migrants at our gates, wanting to be let in. Potters, fish dissectors, glassmakers, pressers, and children; I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a useless lot. (Seriously this might be the most worthless migrant wave I’ve ever seen since I started playing DF.) A few of them can fight though. The militia will get the dwarfs they need.

One boasted about having felled over a hundred. “Names?” I asked him. He looked at me funny and showed me a list. A list of animals mostly. How very disappointing.

Who in the name of fuck catalogs the sex of the animals they kill? Nish Cilobzatthud, I’m keeping an eye on you.

I’ve ordered all the migrants’ animals slaughtered. There’s no feed for herbivores on a glacier.

 

[Cassidy]

Second entrance bypassing my building destroyer immune floor hatches and large array of traps?

I like where this is going.

 

[Krash]

Well, as much as I like your solution it just wasn't FUN enough.

Imagine the potential for a brutal, final duel on that walkway between an adamantine decked-out dwarf champion and demon from far beneath the ice.

EDIT: It's interesting how different our play styles are. I'm an OCD like form-before-function DF player, while you seem more down to earth efficient. Not to say I don't have practical considerations myself, but sometimes a few dwarf lives can be spent making it all look a little more fabulous, is all. There are always more migrants.

 

[Hellraiser]

Looks like we've got FUN downstairs. Is a cavern system in DF good for anything other than imminent doom?

 

[Krash]

There's trees, water, food (prey), and often cave spider silk down there, but none of it is absolutely necessary.

 

[SerratedBiz]

It's always nice to see the basic groundwork for the fort's destruction is taking shape. Given that we're on the second year and (I think) without weapons, that Vutu dude would wipe the fortress clean even without the dust to back it up.

 

[Hellraiser]

We can survive without weapons for quite a bit assuming we have only one entrance, that thanks to its traps, acts as a sort of vagina dentata of virgintraded. Unfortunately Krash is drilling a new wide orifice in our fortress, unless he fills it with traps first he will just invite goblin ambushers in. Trap immune epic creatures spawn really late on the surface, way after sieges IIRC. And sieges can be defeated with traps, assuming the enemy is dumb enough to walk into them. So we can survive for a bit without them. But not if an epic beast emerges from the depths of the underworld and gets inside the fortress before the breach is sealed with walls.

 

[Krash]

Don't worry, I'm not opening anything before it's bristling with weapon traps. I've got a half decent weaponsmith who needs practice and plenty of iron. We need weapon traps in any case because stonefall traps are p shit against armor and can barely stop a big bunch of goblin ambushers.

Also, forgotten beasts with only flesh/scales/hide/whatever as protection are little threat except for eventual syndromes. The danger with Vutu is all about the dust, believe me. Now if he was made of steel or crystal or something in that vein, it'd be an entirely different story. I had a crystal forgotten beast once, with fire pulsating out from it. My military was chanceless (they could only bruise it at best), getting ignited like torches from just standing close. It took a cave in to kill.

 

[laclongquan]

This is quite interesting... though not interesting enough to overcome its ascii art though.

FFS, devs! Build some fucking proper art for DF already. I dont ask much, UnrealWord level is enough.

 

[TripJack]

^^
what ascii art? they are using a graphical tileset

i actually prefer the ascii though

Is a cavern system in DF good for anything other than imminent doom?

theres plenty of things the caverns can provide, (un)fortunately the risks in utilizing them are usually quite high

 

[Hellraiser]

That was my point, sure you may find some freshwater, fungiwood and food down there. But 9 out of 10 times an epic beast spawns soon after you discover such a system.

 

[Cassidy]

That was my point, sure you may find some freshwater, fungiwood and food down there. But 9 out of 10 times an epic beast spawns soon after you discover such a system.

If you end with the misfortune of a site with either very little or without magma-safe ores, nether-cap can be very, very useful if you want to either burn the surface or keep a perpetual layer of obsidian over it.

Of course you can just explore the lowest level cavern, wall it off, and if you have soil or a large amount of irrigated areas, trees will start growing on them in a matter of years, although nether-cap won't show up immediately. Another possibility is to wall-off an entire sector of a cavern, and I mean all its z-levels blocking totally passage to the rest of the cave.

 

[Krash]

Krash’s diary, 8th of Felsite

My reorganization of the fort’s doing good – look at all that dwarfpower in action! At this rate we'll be done with my plans come winter.

Krash’s diary, 16th of Felsite

Goblin NAMBLA members tried to snatch away children this morning. Unfortunately, our stone-fall traps killed them before I got there with my pickaxe.

When we got to the bodies, we noticed something disturbing:

At first I thought someone had diluted my ale. Whatever this is, it’s unlike any goblin I’ve ever seen. Webbed feet, gills to the sides of the head, and the entire body covered in green scales. Creepy as fuck.

In the middle of the bloody mess, an elven caravan arrived. Those fuckers know when we don’t want to see them; I swear it’s like a sixth sense. They were all angry at first because they thought we’d killed something nice and fluffy (the entrance looks like a bloodbath, literally), but then they saw the bodies and turned pale. It took all my good words to convince them not to turn tail right away. Whatta bunch of wusses.

I’ve ordered the weaponsmith to make serrated discs – whatever these goblin creature are, they can’t run from us without extremities, now can they? And JagreenLern has assembled a militia made up of volunteers with non-critical jobs, so we can defend ourselves if we need to.

The Turquoise Pets, as they will henceforth be known, promptly caught one of the strange goblins loitering around our entrance and taught him a dwarf-styled lesson.

All eight of them bravely ripped the scum into little pieces.

Krash’s diary, 19th of Felsite

Good bye and good riddance to the elven traders. Brought wood, food and enough drink to last us a while. I had to give strict instructions that there be no yeti parts among the junk we sold. Stupid elves say it’s an endangered species or something. I’d love to drop the elves in a pit with some of those endangered buggers, see for how long they’d keep up that “yetis are misunderstood” litany while getting ripped to chunks.

You know, that does sound like fun, doesn’t it? The birth of a new tradition?

Krash’s diary, 23rd of Hematite

The new barrack was inaugurated and our brave dwarf warriors began sparring for the first time.

Krash’s diary, 25th of Hematite

Guess they haven’t heard about the goblins that raided us. Too late to go back now! This bunch is about as useful as the last. I mean, wood burner? Is that a marketable skill these days?

Krash’s diary, 29th of Hematite

èsum Eralsolon, our newly appointed Mayor, decided that we should not export large gems. She had some kind of stupid excuse, but I bet she just wants something nice to wear in her beard when she meets her new love.

Well done William! Maybe you can stop studying those strange goblin corpses now?

 

[Hellraiser]

So aquatoids or lovecraftian fish-people are living around virgintraded? I fear what else Cassidy might have put in there, considering the introduction evoking the feel of the mountains of madness. ITZ coming to virgintraded?

Well at least we have a militia now. Surely it will get horribly raped by repel the forces of cosmic horrors that cannot be grasped by a mere dwarven mind.

 

[Krash]

So aquatoids or lovecraftian fish-people are living around virgintraded? I fear what else Cassidy might have put in there, considering the introduction evoking the feel of the mountains of madness.

Indeed he did. I'm getting just as surprised as everyone else.

Well at least we have a militia now. Surely it will get horribly raped by repel the forces of cosmic horrors that cannot be grasped by a mere dwarven mind.

Dwarfs in general are p. nuts, and many of them worship the goddess of chaos, so maybe they're not as easily bothered by cosmic horrors as we feeble humans. Only one way to find out. In any case, I'm gonna beef up the militia a bit in the next update and arm/armor them properly.

 

[Phelot]

Nice update!

What exactly does a wood burner do? And don't say "burn wood" I mean, what exactly is the point of them?

 

[Cassidy]

Nice update!

What exactly does a wood burner do? And don't say "burn wood" I mean, what exactly is the point of them?

As in why the fuck would anyone bother implementing such an inane and limited skill set for a game?

But when most game developers without any kind of "different" thought pattern are like

The assburgers developers are our only hope.




As for dorfs. Countless experiences with forgotten beasts and what lies beneath the magma ocean have demonstrated that merely gazing and being close to great horrors won't drive them mad.

Witnessing such horrors killing all their friends and family, on the other hand...

 

[TripJack]

good work bro you've got to keep those eldritch pederasts at bay

What exactly does a wood burner do? And don't say "burn wood" I mean, what exactly is the point of them?

they burn wood yo, they make all that masterwork charcoal

but no, 'wood burner' is usually just a fancy euphemism for 'peasant hauler' and/or 'cannon fodder'

 

[Cassidy]

eldritch pederasts

This reminds me of something.

http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/inde...-the-neonomicon-alan-moore-writes-porn.63348/

 

[Krash]

What exactly does a wood burner do? And don't say "burn wood" I mean, what exactly is the point of them?

They produce coal, which you need for steel, and ash, which is the first step in making soap. Either way, the only advantage of experienced dwarf versus noob dwarf when it comes to wood burning is the speed, since neither ash nor charcoal have any levels.

So yeah, useless.

As for dorfs. Countless experiences with forgotten beasts and what lies beneath the magma ocean have demonstrated that merely gazing and being close to great horrors won't drive them mad.

Witnessing such horrors killing all their friends and family, on the other hand...

And everyone has family all over the place. One dwarf even has a grandmother present.

This will end in a vicious tantrum spiral.

 

[Phelot]

Well, I just love the ridiculous level of detail in the game even though I have never had the time or patience (as of yet) to figure the game out.

Also, I've mentioned it before, but the DF damage descriptions are worse than some gore vids. Ugh. Something about bruising creatures kidney's...

 

[Zdzisiu]

Wood burner was more useful when magma was not always present on any map. And I often used him to start my coal production, as you need some kind of fuel to make coal from minerals so I burned 1 log for 1 charcoal and then proceed to use that charcoal to make more coal from appropriate minerals.

 

[TripJack]

when magma was not always present on any map

im glad i didnt get into df until after .31 came out