sser
Arcane
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2011
- Messages
- 1,866,893
Has anyone in the development team for Kingdom Come actually picked a lock before? What the fuck. What am I Tom Cruise on a zip line? For a medieval lock? Are you fucking shitting me? I could pick my way into my own front door using unshielded wire and a plastic jam and that's for the security I trust to keep me cozy at night. Unbeknownst to me a medieval peasant covets his property so much he employs multidimensional locking gauges. I looked to see where my pick was going and apparently it's going across and over the scales of reality. I saw my pick dancing with the aethereal cosmic beings. I saw it twist against the astral planes. And when I finally tickled the arse of god himself, when I finally jimmied open the chest, by the time the noise of my infinite travels had roused a local guard, I found the couple of coins there in the boot into which I had picked. And so lost into the gaze of this process I was, so into the afterness of everything, the guard slew me down and I was thrown back a couple of hours to the start of the game whence I came, a true time traveler, and the lock unpicked itself whole, and in turn picked my mind and therein quickly found madness. Such are the darkly designs of the evils I must defeat in this opening village.