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Let's LARP the Emperor's Finest - a wh40k IF

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by Holy Cow, Jun 22, 2012.

  1. Storyfag Perfidious Pole Patron

    Storyfag
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    A
    3
     
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  2. Random Word Arbiter Patron

    Random Word
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    MCA Project: Eternity
    :yeah:

    I swear, I was only polishing the Basilisk... lovingly. :oops:

    A2

    Those orders were pointlessly vindictive, anyway, and would have led to us half-assing two critical roles.
     
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  3. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Codex 2012
    b) Female
    3. Us girls gotta band together! Grrrrl power!
     
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  4. Zwist Learned

    Zwist
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    B2

    Was going with 3 there for a moment, but telling a commissar that we plan to ignore orders might not leave the best of impressions.
    No matter the situation.

    Although a "the commissar shots you" would be a rather memorable lesson in Choice&Consequence, wouldn't it?
     
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  5. Excidium P. banal

    Self-Ejected
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    Vote for what you find most fun, not for what might be more safe or anything. This being an Imperial Guard LP you're going to die 2 or 3 updates from now anyway.

    Votes so far:

    Are you Male or female?

    a) 17 (Excidium, lightbane, Renegen, Storyfag, Random Word, Jick_Magger_101, ironyuri, Darth Roxor, Commissar Draco, Kayerts, Eklektic, Hellraiser, CappenVarra, Saark, Oscar, Ratatosk, Reject_666)

    b) 9 (Ulminati, Esquilax, Cassidy, Kz3r0, anus_pounder, treave, Zwist, hoodoo, Zero Credibility)

    What are you going to do now that the colonel’s gone? It’ll take a few days for the word to spread throughout the trenches and you’ll have some freedom to operate before the next regimental commander is assigned.

    1) 11 (Esquilax, lightbane, Darth Roxor, Kayerts, Eklektic, Excidium, Hellraiser, Saark, Oscar, Ratatosk, Reject_666)

    2) 10 (Ulminati, Cassidy, anus_pounder, Renegen, Random Word, Zwist, Jaedar, ironyuri, Commissar Draco, CappenVarra, hoodoo)

    3) 6 (Omicron, Kz3r0, Storyfag, treave, Jick_Magger_101, Zero Credibility)

    Updated
     
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  6. Jick Magger Arcane Patron

    Jick Magger
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    PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Bubbles In Memoria
    A, 5 3, insert generic misogynistic quip here. Women should only be in the Adaptus Kitchenicus, we're manly men doing manly things that men do, the commissar is probably a liberal arts student who makes kickstarter pages for her feminist pop culture videos et cetera et cetera.





    I TOLD YOU DAWGS. I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDA GONE WITH THE KRIEG.
     
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  7. Hoodoo It gets passed around. Dumbfuck

    Hoodoo
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    b)



    2) :troll:
     
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  8. Excidium P. banal

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    wot a tweest!

    Hard to believe this pussy-ass bitch was a Sista tho
     
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  9. Jaedar Arcane Patron

    Jaedar
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    Project: Eternity Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Are we a mixed regiment?

    Regardless, I am voting for 2, commissars are outside the chain of command, so I doubt she could help us climb it.
     
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  10. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    That's a tie broken. Sweet, maybe there'll be an updatan before the warp compels us to post rule 34 :thumbsup:

    Jaedar: Obviously a mixed regiment or the servitor whouldn't have had to ask in the first place. I guess since it asked we're either a tomboy or a faggoty girly man.
     
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  11. ironyuri Guest

    ironyuri
    I vote:

    A

    2

    I do believe we are a bro, so we can bone this hot ex-SoB-Commissar before skullfucking her augmented eye socket.

    Also, the Colonel was derisive towards the Commissar, it's unlikely he told his intentions re: orders. This is an opportunity to whip the regiment into shape and make an impact on the front line. If there is no front line, we must create one by taking the fight to the enemy and forcing them to either dig in, or lose ground. Once they've dug in, the Krieg Korps can come and make some trenches to enforce a stalemate while the Steel Legion prepares a mechanized assault on their positions.

    I get a feeling root's description of the commissar was inspired by some of our Rule34 and Cosplay pics.

    :hmm:
     
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  12. Zero Credibility Arcane

    Zero Credibility
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    b

    3
     
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  13. Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis

    Darth Roxor
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    I read it as 'pull you out of the cleavage' :oops:



    Gender - male (how about you faggots don't go full retard already)

    Orders - 1.

    Why not 2 - Like the whole company will listen to some lowly friggin lieutenant that nobody likes. Especially considering there are lots of others with higher ranks, as well as there's the prospect of the commissar suddenly going :commissar holt: and assuming direct control due to your bullshit.

    Why not 3 - Are you fucking dum. This is like asking to be BLAM'd.
     
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  14. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    Dude. The servitor had to ask what our fucking gender were. If we're a man we're a faggoty girly man at best. The kind of virgin young boy ass that Slaanesh loves. Do we really want leftenant limpwrist to hold the line against the multiheaded grimdark?
     
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  15. Darth Roxor Prestigious Gentleman Wielder of the Huegpenis

    Darth Roxor
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  16. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    Assume the slaaneshi submission position!
     
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  17. Commissar Draco Codexia Comrade Colonel Commissar Patron

    Commissar Draco
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    From Lexicanum on training of Commissars:

    http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Commissar

    Our Lady Commissar displays no values and virtues proper Commissar would have, she was snotty and vain before and troops has no respect or worse still fear towards her or her rank.... which combining with Regiment abysmall performance leads me to believe there is Heresy and Sedition close... Option A is ruse to keep us sidetracked by red tape and C) Although normaly advisable as Commissar is technicly in right to take command over Regiment now untill brevet leader could be chosen and has under normal circustances vast tactical expierence I would not consult with her.... she may be the reason of the rot and corruption..... or in best scenerio incompetent to tackle it in proper Commissariat aproved way.

    [​IMG]

    Choose A and 2 than.
     
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  18. Kayerts Arcane

    Kayerts
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    A1 -- Quartermastery may not be glamorous, but neither is watching the regiment founder because no one was making sure it got fed.
     
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  19. eklektyk Erudite

    eklektyk
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    this ist least fun option so i vote for it! problem codex?:smug:
     
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  20. ironyuri Guest

    ironyuri

    Comrade Commissar Draco speaks truth brothers.

    Also, 2 does not preclude our lieutenant taking on quartermaster duties, infact we could just appoint a loyal trustworthy commissar ourselves, since we said we'd do it in the first place before the ex-Colonel told us not to.

    2 for victory and using our dicks as thehy were intended.
     
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  21. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    Getting the commissar "accidentally" killed is probably a good idea. SoB fall under the ecclesiasty (sp?). That's a seperate organ from the IG and going from SoB to commissar is effectively a demotion since the bolter bitches are Spehzz Mahreens Light. Clearly she's a warp-tainted whore who fucked up and didn't have the piety to besome a sister repentia, charging naked into battle with a giant chainsword. My interest in her reaches only so far as to ascertain what corrupt official let her switch from SoB to the commissariat that I may cleanse the infection with the fires of holy promethium.

    And Kayerts -- Commissars sit outside the normal rank hierachy. We can't just appoint a new one willy-nilly. That would be absurd.

    Pity about the sudden surge in votes for sausage party. :(
    Remember BROs: A moment of voting for wimmin leads to a lifetime of glorious misogyni.

    Show Spoiler

    On the topic of female commissars in a legion that wears gas masks. If it wasn't for the godamn animu sword scabbard I might have to track down that mini. Everything else that's retarded about it could be fixed easily with greenstuff and weaponswaps.
    [​IMG]
     
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  22. Excidium P. banal

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    The whole thing is very strange, if anything about her faith or character was questionable (which seems to be the case) she wouldn't have been accepted into an order in the first place. Maybe she just thought the symbol was cool and tattoed it.

    Bah I'm flopping to 1, fuck this stupid ho. The accident that killed the Colonel was caused by the lack of a quartermaster, we need to put order on the house before the Korps arrive.
     
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  23. Commissar Draco Codexia Comrade Colonel Commissar Patron

    Commissar Draco
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    Not to mention having proper equipment will let us... interrogate her properly, before she will be sent back to Penal Adeptus Kitchenus Unit. :incline:
     
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  24. Ulminati Kamelåså! Patron

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    :butthurt:
     
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