Let's LARP the Emperor's Finest - a wh40k IF

[Cassidy]

b) Because unlike with space marines(except for Slaanesh's tranny squad), this time we can get away with it.

2) Sounds like a great idea... if you manage to win the battle.

 

[Kz3r0]

b)
3)

 

[anus_pounder]

b) Because unlike with space marines(except for Slaanesh's tranny squad), this time we can get away with it.

2) Sounds like a great idea... if you manage to win the battle.

This

 

[lightbane]

1, let's try to not to provoke a trainweck so soon. Of course, we're male, but where's the tran*THE FOLLOWING WORDS HAVE BEEN CENSORED BY THE INQUISITION*

 

[Esquilax]

2) Sounds like a great idea... if you manage to win the battle.

Yeah, I'm really liking our chances for vict-

it's good to see the minds of the codex gearing up for a trench warfare situation in a highly toxic planet by choosing a legion specialized in mechanized infantry assault and dealing with massed infantry

Fuck.

 

[Renegen]

a
2

 

[Storyfag]

A
3

 

[Random Word]

the Death Korps are en route to show us how war is done

I’ll be damned if I’ll let those dour, cannon-humping drones take the glory from our campaign! I’ll tell you, the things they do with that artillery of theirs when no-one’s looking is-‘

I swear, I was only polishing the Basilisk... lovingly.

A2

Those orders were pointlessly vindictive, anyway, and would have led to us half-assing two critical roles.

 

[treave]

b) Female
3. Us girls gotta band together! Grrrrl power!

 

[Zwist]

B2

Was going with 3 there for a moment, but telling a commissar that we plan to ignore orders might not leave the best of impressions.
No matter the situation.

Although a "the commissar shots you" would be a rather memorable lesson in Choice&Consequence, wouldn't it?

 

[Excidium]

Vote for what you find most fun, not for what might be more safe or anything. This being an Imperial Guard LP you're going to die 2 or 3 updates from now anyway.

Votes so far:

Are you Male or female?

a) 17 (Excidium, lightbane, Renegen, Storyfag, Random Word, Jick_Magger_101, ironyuri, Darth Roxor, Commissar Draco, Kayerts, Eklektic, Hellraiser, CappenVarra, Saark, Oscar, Ratatosk, Reject_666)

b) 9 (Ulminati, Esquilax, Cassidy, Kz3r0, anus_pounder, treave, Zwist, hoodoo, Zero Credibility)

What are you going to do now that the colonel’s gone? It’ll take a few days for the word to spread throughout the trenches and you’ll have some freedom to operate before the next regimental commander is assigned.

1) 11 (Esquilax, lightbane, Darth Roxor, Kayerts, Eklektic, Excidium, Hellraiser, Saark, Oscar, Ratatosk, Reject_666)

2) 10 (Ulminati, Cassidy, anus_pounder, Renegen, Random Word, Zwist, Jaedar, ironyuri, Commissar Draco, CappenVarra, hoodoo)

3) 6 (Omicron, Kz3r0, Storyfag, treave, Jick_Magger_101, Zero Credibility)

Updated

 

[Jick Magger]

A, 5 3, insert generic misogynistic quip here. Women should only be in the Adaptus Kitchenicus, we're manly men doing manly things that men do, the commissar is probably a liberal arts student who makes kickstarter pages for her feminist pop culture videos et cetera et cetera.





I TOLD YOU DAWGS. I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDA GONE WITH THE KRIEG.

 

[Hoodoo]

b)



2)

 

[Excidium]

Under the scarring there's the faint tracing of a fleur-de-lys on her cheek just under the eye, half-hidden beneath a fringe of black hair.

wot a tweest!

Hard to believe this pussy-ass bitch was a Sista tho

 

[Jaedar]

Are we a mixed regiment?

Regardless, I am voting for 2, commissars are outside the chain of command, so I doubt she could help us climb it.

 

[Ulminati]

That's a tie broken. Sweet, maybe there'll be an updatan before the warp compels us to post rule 34

Jaedar: Obviously a mixed regiment or the servitor whouldn't have had to ask in the first place. I guess since it asked we're either a tomboy or a faggoty girly man.

 

[ironyuri]

I vote:

A

2

I do believe we are a bro, so we can bone this hot ex-SoB-Commissar before skullfucking her augmented eye socket.

Also, the Colonel was derisive towards the Commissar, it's unlikely he told his intentions re: orders. This is an opportunity to whip the regiment into shape and make an impact on the front line. If there is no front line, we must create one by taking the fight to the enemy and forcing them to either dig in, or lose ground. Once they've dug in, the Krieg Korps can come and make some trenches to enforce a stalemate while the Steel Legion prepares a mechanized assault on their positions.

I get a feeling root's description of the commissar was inspired by some of our Rule34 and Cosplay pics.

:hmm:

 

[Zero Credibility]

b

3

 

[Darth Roxor]

She used to be quite the looker, you muse drunkenly, as you let her pull you out of the wreckage.

I read it as 'pull you out of the cleavage'



Gender - male (how about you faggots don't go full retard already)

Orders - 1.

Why not 2 - Like the whole company will listen to some lowly friggin lieutenant that nobody likes. Especially considering there are lots of others with higher ranks, as well as there's the prospect of the commissar suddenly going :commissar holt: and assuming direct control due to your bullshit.

Why not 3 - Are you fucking dum. This is like asking to be BLAM'd.

 

[Ulminati]

Gender - male (how about you faggots don't go full retard already)

Dude. The servitor had to ask what our fucking gender were. If we're a man we're a faggoty girly man at best. The kind of virgin young boy ass that Slaanesh loves. Do we really want leftenant limpwrist to hold the line against the multiheaded grimdark?

 

[Darth Roxor]

Make sure to pack your lubricants and turn your back to the warp

 

[Ulminati]

Assume the slaaneshi submission position!

 

[Commissar Draco]

From Lexicanum on training of Commissars:

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Commissar

Commissar Training Squads

Commissar Training Squads are groups of Cadet-Commissars, formed up into a fighting squad and led by a full Commissar into battle. These Cadets are then trained, under battlefield conditions, in how to live, fight and even die alongside the troops they are supposed to one day inspire and discipline. They are sent into the fiercest fighting, in which they are expected to show bravery and devotion enough to earn the respect afforded to them by standard troopers. Commissar Training Squads are highly motivated and pious fighting units and an Imperial Guard force accompanied by such a squad will consider itself destined for victory.[7]
When a Commissar decides that a Cadet has failed in his duty to become a Commissar, but has not shown cowardice or insubordination, the Cadet is relieved and may be either sent to a Stormtrooper unit or become an officer in a penal battalion. Others volunteer for service in a Rogue Trader's entourage, and others may face darker destinies.[7]

Our Lady Commissar displays no values and virtues proper Commissar would have, she was snotty and vain before and troops has no respect or worse still fear towards her or her rank.... which combining with Regiment abysmall performance leads me to believe there is Heresy and Sedition close... Option A is ruse to keep us sidetracked by red tape and C) Although normaly advisable as Commissar is technicly in right to take command over Regiment now untill brevet leader could be chosen and has under normal circustances vast tactical expierence I would not consult with her.... she may be the reason of the rot and corruption..... or in best scenerio incompetent to tackle it in proper Commissariat aproved way.

Choose A and 2 than.

 

[Kayerts]

A1 -- Quartermastery may not be glamorous, but neither is watching the regiment founder because no one was making sure it got fed.

 

[eklektyk]

A1 -- Quartermastery may not be glamorous, but neither is watching the regiment founder because no one was making sure it got fed.

this ist least fun option so i vote for it! problem codex?