Let's paint some maps in EU3 Magna Mundi as the Mongols!

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

So, here we are. The year is 1399 of our Lord Jesus Christ. Genghis Khan's legacy still rings true throughout the world, but his successors have lost that former glory. The Mongol Khanate still remains though, adrift in a sea of incompetent Khans, tribal feuding, and general weakness. At least the map is pretty.

I start it up and am immediately hit with a barrage of events. This is all stuff to activate the new game mechanics, like piracy, tribal and nomadic provinces, etc. Seeing as we are both tribal and nomadic, we get hit with a lot of general penalties. Not particularly bad, but restrictive.

I start by immediately moving one step offensive. Sliders have been modded significantly, so now there are a lot more penalties, but sliders have much more powerful effects. Offensive is best for us as it vastly improves our military, but makes artillery extremely expensive. Likewise with ideas, they now have many, more powerful effects.

Some of the more cowardly mongols oppose this, causing a bit of turmoil amongst the tribes. No matter, they will be anally purged by sword and bow soon enough.

Our standing army is....well, shit. We have two regiments of infantry and no cavalry, for some fucktarded reason. Thanks to our horse nomads modifier, cavalry is cheaper than infantry. It's better as well. The horse nomad modifier also makes our general very awesome. Our Khan, a military 3 incompetent is a 5 fire and 6 shock ubermensch, pretty much doubling the casualties caused by any army he's in.

I disband the infantry regiments and set to work on recruiting some cavalry. This takes a while as recruitment times in Magna Mundi have been quadrupled to prevent countries quickly rebuilding armies after they have been smashed to bits.

On our western flank are the Oirats. We don't need to conquer them to unite the Mongols, so i get a royal marriage with them and make them my bros. They're on the list though. To the south are the Ming. Big and ponderous, with huge numbers of troops. On the bright side their generals and troop quality are shit compared to us. To the west are the Manchu and Koreans. I need the Manchurian capital to unite the mongols, so they're our current rape and pillage target.

Suddenly i'm hit with loads of country modifiers and advisers. We're a medium regional power, so we don't get many significant penalties or benefits. Our administration is shit though, so we get lots of penalties there. Administrative efficiency is improved by being small, having a good ruler, and having a good form of government. It's decreased by having lots of land, particularly non cored land with different cultures or religion. If it's high it gives lots of bonuses but if it's low it gives penalties. It's a nice mechanic that makes ideas like Bill of Rights and Humanist Tolerance worth getting, as they increase it.

Meanwhile i get the border dispute event on Ming, i opt not to antagonize them yet and go for the peaceful option. I already have a better CB on them so it's best to not anger them too much until i am ready to fuck them hard.

The aristocracy is busy. Factions in Magna Mundi are represented by how powerful they are, and how much they like you. If they like you and are powerful, you get bonuses. If they don't like you and they're powerful, penalties. If they're not powerful they disappear as a faction. Aristocrats are probably one of the most important factions due to the huge bonuses or penalties they can give you.

In order to raise money for our war with Manchu, i demand tribute from the tribes. This makes them butthurt, but not enough for them to do anything about it.

Our nomads go pillage shit. It makes the victim butthurt. If it succeeds we get bonuses, if not then penalties. There's a small chance everything can go to shit as well, which will probably happen given Magna Mundi's ability to churn out shitty events.

And of course, they fail.

There. That's all the matters of state out of the way. The war to unite the clans will come later today....

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Thine image tags art broken.

 

[MasterSmithFandango]

Embarassing.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Just gave myself wanker's cramp fixing all the urls.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Fuck you Photobucket. Fuck you right up the ass with a tranny's massive manhands.

So, as i was saying. War is cumming. To achieve the conquest of China, or even a recreation of the old Mongol Empire, the unification of the Mongol clans is required.

We declare war. Korea is allied with me for some reason, but the communist faggots betray me. Manchu is betrayed by the equally faggotish Oirat Horde. Thankfully it's only a one front war. Not to say i couldn't have crushed the Oirats, but it saves me a lot of hassle.

And this, is why being tribal no longer sucks. It's not much later on, but 5k troops out of nowhere in the early game is a godsend, especially when you are on the steppe and lack manpower.

Our magnificent army crushes a small leaderless Manchu army in their northern territory, which i forgot to take a screen of. I then go to attack their capital, where they have assembled all their forces.

Another army seemingly appears out of nowhere and attacks me, only to be crushed almost instantly.Also some of our tribesmen lead a great raid, bringing much needed gold to the treasury.

Their defeated armies split off in two directions. I decide to send a small force after one army and the Khan's main force against their larger army. It pays off and soon their entire army is gone. Another recently recruited force also heads for my territory, but those 5k extra troops i got intercepted them. Now it will come down to many bloody sieges as i wait out all their forts and try not to lose all my men to attrition.

Suddenly though, a large army materializes in their capital, presumably from a tribal assembly event. They manage to kick my besieging force out.

I send the Khan's army to sort this mess out, hoping his superior generalship will win the day against a larger force. He rolls three 1s in a row and fails miserably.

At the very least they retreated to friendly territory, so i let them sit there and recover for a few months. Then the Manchurians got their shit together and attacked the Khan.

I win, follow them back to their capital, and rout them.

Meanwhile, up north, the sieges go well. We've already taken two cities, although the attrition is absolutely raping the anus out of my men. draining my manpower very quickly.

Soon, their cities begin to fall.

Raiddeng is teh hards!

Finally, their last city falls after repeated attacks at it. The attrition in these places is fucking insane.

I demand all their territory, hopefully Korea will annex them so we can attack without a truce and quickly take the last province needed to unite the Mongols.

Map painting ahoy! So, Codex, what do you think the Mongols should do when they've finished uniting with their bros as violently as possible? Cast your votes, THE POWER IS YOURS!

 

[Chef_Hathaway]

Drive to the West. Europe must feel the might of the Great Khan.

 

[anus_pounder]

Drive to the West. Europe must feel the might of the Great Khan.

This.

Its not like you have anything else in the east, just korea and japan i suppose.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Well there's China to the south. Japan is out of the question unless i conquer China, nomads can't build ships. I could conquer Korea to help fuel my expansion.

Edit: Also, remember we have just over 400 years. I can get a lot of shit done in that amount of time.

 

[Trash]

Attack Europe. Like I said, going for Asia is the safe and ultimately lame bet. An LP needs DRAMA and Europe will provide that in spades. Hell, you might even succeed.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Hehe, well it looks like the problem with Korea sorted itself out. This got very interesting very fast. I'll do another update soon, probably tomorrow.

Gotta say, this is some of the most fun i've ever had in a Paradox game, i hope it makes for an equally good update.

 

[oldmanpaco]

I say unite the east, dive into india, then send massive hordes into eastern europe.

 

[Luzur]

are you using a graphics mod?

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Yes, i can't remember what it's called but you can find it on the official EU3 Paradox forums.

Update cumming soon, right over your face.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

After the conquest of Manchu, things quieten down for a couple of years until the truce wears off. I'll just skim over this to show you some of the more interesting mechanics in Magna Mundi. There's plenty of raiding, but it's pretty standard. 90% of the time it fails, 10% it succeeds. Banal shit boring, so i'll leave that out. It gets a bit more interesting when you have lots of raiding between two nomadic countries.


Piracy is represented as an abstract in Magna Mundi. It becomes more and more of problem the more wealthy your coast is.The wealthier you are, the more money and effort you need to spend in preventative measures to keep your coast safe. It's fairly simple, but for wealthy trading nations like England or Portugal, it can severely fuck over your economy if left unchecked. Mongolia is a shithole, so we don't need to worry about it.

Cores are gained through event. The events required fire faster the more connections the province has to you. The same or similar culture speeds it up, as well as the same religion or the same religious group. This makes it so coring isn't a mechanical process, but takes different amounts of time for each province.

The administration goes to shit due to the new conquest.

We also get some nice cores on Ming due to our tribal government. This is one of the few benefits, many more CBs.

I also move one step to offensive, which for some reason makes my generals and aristocracy supremely butthurt.

Anyways, the truce wears off and i immediately attack Manchu. Unfortunately the Oirats join in. At the very least the Manchu don't have an army so it's really just a one front war against the Oirats.

Seeing as they're willing to mint fully and i'm not, i opt for a scorched earth campaign in order to remove their numerical superiority. Meanwhile, the Manchu's capital is besieged

Haixi surrenders quickly, surprisingly quickly considering it's a level 2 fort and their capital. They are annexed, but unfortunately the current Khan is too shit to unite the Mongols. He'll need to die first before the Mongols can become a nation again.

Meanwhile, on the Western front....
After some small clashes against tiny one or two regiment armies, the Oirats sent their entire force against me, into a scorched province. After letting them rot away and shit themselves to death for a bit, i gathered my forces up and attacked. It was a close, albeit somewhat bloodless battle, but...

They are beaten, chased back home, and routed.

Even with no army, and Manchu annexed, the Oirats still refuse a white peace. I place their capital under siege in the hopes of quickly ending the war and consolidating my new conquests. Fate intervenes however, that fat, meddling tranny whore.

THE FUCKING KHAN DIES IN BATTLE

At the least, i can unite the hordes, but the succession crisis creates revolts all across my eastern territory. Thankfully i quickly occupy the Oirat capital, and get a concession of defeat from them, so i can focus on the filthy nigger machete rape gang rebel scum. I also get a nice decision for establishing a royal dynasty in China, if the codex should choose for me to conquer it.

Time for some rebel chasing. They take a few provinces but i quickly crush them and take everything back. Not much to say. I devise a magnificent plan to crush the small rebel stacks quickly before getting rid of the main Mongol pretender army. He's an extremely hardcore general, but is still no match for the new Khan.

Phew. The rebels are smashed about. I'm just about to rout the main pretender army, which should make all the taken provinces defect back to me. When that treacherous nigger is dead, it should give me some much needed breathing room to plan my next mo-

I'LL BUILD A PALACE FROM YOUR BONES AND STUD MY CROWN WITH YOUR EYEBALLS

 

[anus_pounder]

: D looking great so far. Hope the koreans don't pose too much trouble, I'm eagerly awaiting raping or being raped by westerners.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

It's quite surprising how large most eastern armies are in this. This is presumably due to the heavily quantity and serfdom oriented sliders. Even the tiny Japanese fiefdoms can field moderate sized armies. Ming probably has an absolutely endless horde of chinks at their command.

 

[Luzur]

It's quite surprising how large most eastern armies are in this. This is presumably due to the heavily quantity and serfdom oriented sliders. Even the tiny Japanese fiefdoms can field moderate sized armies. Ming probably has an absolutely endless horde of chinks at their command.

if Magna Mundi dont change or mod anything you can easily say that again.

 

[Reject_666_6]

Interesting LP so far. I vote for gathering some neighbours' provinces, then building up a force and heading towards Eastern Europe, ultimately all the way to Spain.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

The problem is my tribal administration. Due to all the horrible penalties associated with tribal nations ruling over vast territory, combined with tribal successions, if i do push west then as soon as my Khan dies it will all go to shit, and i wont be able to afford enough troops to keep everything together. If i go monarchy however i lose the free CB on all non tribals.

Edit: Although i do keep my free CB on all tribals.

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

LAST TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!

To get all my forces to grips with these backstabbing gooks, i quickly move to crush the pretender army. The Khan will drink wine from their skulls! He'll need to find some corks for their eyes though.

Seeing as the Koreans have about 15k men in total, i don't want to risk a direct battle with them. Instead i opted to avoid them and scorch all the provinces around them. Let's see those filthy gooks find dog meat in the Mongolian steppe.

More gooks! Some random kingdom just south of Ming. Not very threatening but they're drawing much needed troops away from the Korean front.

The Koreans take Haixi surprisingly quickly. They split their army up and send half of it to siege another province nearby, sending the other back to Korea for some reason. I allow them to rot for a bit, but then they bring all their troops back to Korea. I chase them onto the peninsula and achieve victory over the filthy city dwelling gooks.

I get a fun decision to send a missionary to Haixi to encourage resistance. It's not the painful for Korea, but it will hurt their internal stability somewhat, which will make the sieging process easier when i've crushed their armies.

I smash the Koreans around some more. They split up in multiple directions, so i split my army up to make sure nothing escapes and reinforces. My heir also dies, only to be replaced by his little bro Chingis. Fun fact: Chingis is an alternate spelling of Genghis, so in 15 years Mongolia could have itself another Genghis Khan.

Some bros also give me some cash. This event has been made to scale to your income in Magna Mundi, so you don't suddenly have some random aristocrat give you 50 times what your entire country generates in a year.

More victories. Korea's army is more or less gone now. Now it's just a matter of taking Haixi back and slowly taking the peninsula.

Meanwhile, on the Southwest front. The Southern Gooks have been raising hell along my border with Ming. I needed all my troops to crush the Koreans so i had to let them stay there until i could spare some troops. They took some territory but now i've got an army heading over ready to rape those yellow monkeys all the way back to 'Nam.

They take another province, which for some reason lowers my authority with the local tribes there. I'm going to have to subjugate them again when i've finished with the Dog-eaters.

They are beaten out of my territory. I then besiege and quickly take back my provinces. All Korea's allies promptly abandon them and now it's a one front war against a broken foe.

Now that all the fun is over, i just send my armies about taking Korean forts and crushing some mercenaries they hired.

Not much to say about this all really, it's pretty standa-

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

You dumb motherfucker. My Khan dies in battle at the age of about 20. I'm stuck with a regency for 13 fucking years until that dumb nigger Chingis gets his thumb out of his ass and becomes Khan.
The succession crisis hurts as well. The main pretender army spawns in a province where two of my regiments are and smashes them, while some patriots spawn in the farthest northwest corner of Manchuria, forcing me to abandon most of my sieges to face them.

A treacherous Mongol allows the Pretender army into Ulaanchab, but before they can take the city my armies attack and crush the most likely gook funded pretender.

Meanwhile, the sieges in Korea progress well, albeit agonizingly slowly. My War Exhaustion is skyrocketing at the moment, but besides the succession crisis, my subjects have been staying quiet.

Korea desperately tries to make peace.

Choices and consequences, gook.

Anyways, after several years of sieges, Korea is eventually completely occupied by our glorious armies.

Now it is up to the Codex to decide what happens to Korea. Are they to be vassalised and made as a wealthy but resentful subject? Should i demand territory, and add settled lands to the Mongol domains? Either choice will have consequences, but mercy will leave Korea as a persistent threat. Cast your votes Codex, THE POWER IS YOURS!

 

[Azira]

Take their territory. Cripple them.

 

[drunkpriest]

Vassalize them. We can only go west and south and we will want to annex those lands. Our admin eff. is p. bad. Also they can be rebel cleaners when we are raping and pillaging to the west.

 

[Ulminati]

Vassalize them. I'll have popcorn ready for when they revolt.

 

[Luzur]

grab some provinces and vassalize them.

btw, will Magna Mundi work with Napoleons Ambition? can i install it/add it or do i need to uninstall and do a clean slate install?

 

[Furious Flaming Faggot]

Don't think so. There is a version for In Nomine i think. If you really want it why not just not remove the expansions you need from an inventory? I don't think you need to do a clean slate install. It installs to your mod folder so it's separate from the main game.