Completed Let's play: Horde! (Finished)

[Darth Roxor]

Why, yes, I believe you might be right.

 

[ghostdog]

I was just playing SOC and everything was fine , until...

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ?!!!

 

[denizsi]

Morningstar, coupled with the flute, makes you destroyer of the worlds. You go towards the horde, preferably out of your village; play the flute, switch to the morningsta and watch the grinding meat. The two are definitely worth it. Especially if you have the teleportation ring, horde waves will become a joke. You teleport to wherever they're coming from, right between them and do the flute+morningstar. Whole wave will be over in seconds.

Additionally, if you can afford to spend ~480, build 3 straight and adjacent rows of canals against where the horde comes from the most, and build a 4th row of walls by the canal. Most of the hordlings will drown before they even find either end of the wall. This pays terribly good in the long run. I've repelled horde waves doing nothing but this, except when a tank, shaman or a burrower would show up. Placing a knight+archer on each end will decrease the odds of a fuck up. You gotta watch for the village roads, though. Sometimes they will be built over walls, but you can stop roads by placing a trap on where they seems to be going to.

edit: Don't forget to get the trident!

edit2: Burrowers can actually swim, but I think that's because of a bug. I've seen them swim plenty of times when I was chasing one across the water, but not when I was in the village, waiting.

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

I was just playing SOC and everything was fine , until...

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ?!!!

All is as planned... Mwhah. :twisted:

 

[Lim-Lim]

Could you give me more horde thwacking, please?

 

[Darth Roxor]

To everything there is a season, a time for every hordling under the heaven, so be patient.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Kar-Nyar desert, year two, take two:

Spoiler

Everyone, on your places!

Aaaaaaaaaand, ACTION!

More moat digging. Jolly.

Dammit, I could really use some more time during the set up phase.

The regulars can also plant evil saplings? Curious.

so-so.

Hohoho, guess what we'll do now.

Yup, dig more waterways.

How exciting! I think I'm gonna change the thread's title to 'Let's play: Moatdigging!'

Anyway, dropped some cows in random places in the southern area, I desperately need incomes, if I'm gonna continue the digging.

Oh yes, did I mention that attacking the burrowers is a PAIN IN THE ARSE?

Uh... that doesn't sound too good *puts on a barrel with 'THE END IS NIGH' written on it*

Oh, good. I placed half of my lunch money on the Jousters.

HOLY SHIT. Well, the meteor flew straight through our village, but fortunately, it crashlanded far in the northwest corner

and left some nukular fallout behind it.

I'M A MOATDIGGER AND I'M OK!

I THWACK ALL NIGHT AND I SHOVEL ALL DAY!

Dropped some more random cows. Would drop even more and maybe some knights too, but I keep running out of time.

12 hordlings incoming.

And the ones in the north are not quite burrowers

Time to put on my blue suede shoes

Whoa, lotsa

Taking hits!
The boots have one disadvantage. The haste makes careful manuevering kinda hard, and often you run into enemies.

INTRUDER IN THE SOUTH AREA

Damn jumpers.

So, uh... where's the last one?

Ah, there he is, in the north.

The idiot got stuck in a loop, and kept running around from point A on the left side of the moat to B on the right side.

So I went after him with the hordling prod.

And lured him into a knight.

meh.

Behold, the UBERKEEP! Moat to keep away burrowers, walls to keep away anything else, and a knight put inside a choke point to give away divine punishment.

and some cows.

Shaman beamed in next to the lone knight in the middle.

I'm not afraid of your shitty fireballs

Because in the end, grimthwacker > you.

FUCK. Houston, we have a porblem.

A tank penetrated our uberkeep.

Took out the hordlings pestering this house, time to go save the cows.

Yup, turns out I DIDN'T take out all the hordlings pestering the house. Gah, no matter. Time to activate the turboengines

shit.

LET THE SACRED FLAMES PURGE THE SINNERS.

Ouch. Crap, another one.

I'm afraid these cows are out of our reach now... oh well.

BURN!!!

got hit again... not good, one more hit and sir Carter will have to sacrifice himself AGAIN.

BUUUUUUUUURN!!!!!!!

Hmmm... the wall got a little bit... decimated. Let's get the burrower ravaging in the village.

ffs

HOLY SHIT HE'S AFTER ME

I'm not taking any chances.

Oh, good. He got bashed by the knight.

Now for the last one.

Here, I had to make a matrix dodge across the water, because the hordling tried to charge me.

Sorry villager, your sacrifice will be remembered.

ouch...

Also, now that I think about it, it was a really fucking stupid idea to take the walls and cows NORTH whence nearly all the assaults come instead of south, which doesn't see almost any enemies. Gonna move the uberkeep in the next year, then.

:evil:

Guess I'll skip the morning star again this time.

Until we meet again *fanfare of trumpets*

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

got hit again... not good, one more hit and sir Carter will have to sacrifice himself AGAIN.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

You need more fucking knights.

 

[Claw]

I told you to get some archers, but nooo, you put down a stupid wall. Also, placing a cow diagonally next to a knight was just brilliant!
It's kinda funny tho how tanks appear just as you put down a wall, and charge right into it. It's pretty much the worst that could happen: Tanks break through your wall right into your largest group of cows, while burrowers destroy your village.

The hoardlings get an A- for their battle plan.

PS:
Finish the moat around your village already! And give it some space to expand. Right now the village is constricterd by desert on two sides and water on the others.

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

Finish the moat around your village already! And give it some space to expand. Right now the village is constricterd by desert on two sides and water on the others.

So he's building a virtual version of Dubai?

 

[ghostdog]

Call out the giant worms and harvest some spice !!


Also , the source of your bad luck :

 

[wjw]

Quiet an epic fight... that last one!

 

[oldschool]

That was some serious moat digging!

Moar please.

Also: Did you find any goodies where the meteor crashed?

 

[Darth Roxor]

Also, placing a cow diagonally next to a knight was just brilliant!

Well, I was putting down cows completely at random to get as many of them as possible, before the fucking time runs out :evil:

 

[Claw]

Oh, I'm sure the hoardlings appreciated it.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Welcome to Horde LP.

This is Horde LP. Welcome.

This is Horde LP. Welcome... to Horde LP.

You can do ANYTHING at Horde LP. Anything at all... the only limit is yourself.

You have come... to Horde LP. Welcome to Horde LP.

This is Horde LP. WELCOME! Yes... This is Horde LP and welcome to YOU who have come to HORDE LP.

Anything is possible at Horde LP. You can do ANYTHING at Horde LP.

THE INFINITE IS POSSIBLE AT HORDE LP!

THE UNATTAINABLE IS UNKNOWN AT HORDE LP!

Welcome... To Horde LP.

Spoiler

We pick off in spring of Year III. First thing we do is...

Take down the Berlin Wall.

And get the cows south.

And dig some more water after that.

Now it's time to THWACK!

Holy shit... is that a cow/building hybrid created by the nukular fallout from the crashed meteor?!

Hurr, suckers come from the north, but there is NOTHING in the north. I tricked them, haha!

Hmmmm, lotsa. But, who cares about regular hordlings, they might as well come in hundreds and they'd still not matter.

Good results over here.

Woohoo, now the moat is ENTIRELY covering the village, which means we're impervious to the burrowers *high five*

Let's extend the south waterways to get more grass in order to build the Uberkeep.

The most I managed to do before running out of time.

Multiple hostiles incoming. Those in the north need to die.

The rest are burrowers that can't enter our settlement...

OH BOOHOO : (((((((((((

I found a good way to deal with them. Since they're hugging the coast, all you need to do is run beside them and whack when you pull level with them.

Sup, cows. I have no idea why I kept this knight out here, but let's pretend he doesn't exist.

Now for some absolutely uninteresting chase scenes.

Yup, it is as uninteresting as it looks. I'll cut down on the amount of burrower-chasing images later though, I promise.

Fun.

WHAT!? Right, there go your jewish archers, Claw. Now I'm certainly not going to hire them

Ah, yes, that's understandable then.

Filled the holes in the southern wall.

Gonna expand it further to the east later

Because right now, we ran out of time.

The lone hordling in the north already got stalled by the moat so he's a burrower, which makes him irrelevant to our interests. Let's head west.

How dare you attack me, whelps?

BLOODLUST!!11111

Uh, shit.

And apparently there are more tanks in the south. How fucking jolly is that?

Let's burn this one down first and head south.
(soundtrack for this episode: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_cTBgxcOKs)

The night erupts with the sound of small arms fire

I raise my gun and let lead fly

mow 'em down left to right

I've tasted blood now I want more

Screams of pain echo through the night

as bullets find their targets

Into our trench they fall

The combat goes hand to hand

In a killing frenzy I split someone's head.

(and I don't give a damn if you don't like death metal )

The rest of the season are chase scenes, so I'll skip to the results.

Only one cow lost to the panzer battalion. Not bad.

Right, expanded the southern wall, added as many cows as possible without having them directly next to each other. Also left one entryway from the side of the village if we need to get into the pen to whack wayward shamans or something.

Now I'll proceed to plant some trees, because we have pretty much none of them, and I'm sure having more of them is a good idea.

Hmmmm, it's winter already? I honestly didn't notice.

ACHTUNG! SHAMAN IN THE VILLAGE!

Did I mention the boots make you run into enemies frequently? Well, I'm saying that again.

Dammit, he beamed out into our cowpen! Good thing I left that entryway.

Stop running, coward!

Now, which red dot would the shaman be...?

Not the upper one, alright.

Ah, there you are! Way to miss a fireball, shithead.

Shaman dropped dead. Now for the rest of the hordling crew.

non-burrowers first

This looked pretty ridiculous. The jumper got stuck and kept jumping in and out of the water into the wall all the time.

I put him out of his misery

Now for some chase scenes.

No cows lost. Fine work, lads.

I love how nefarious the chancellor is.

Anyway, I think I'll skip the morningstar again, I don't think I'll be needing it too much now that I have the moat and cow pen. Gonna buy it if things get ubertough later.

Next year I'll try to reach the cow limit and make some knight posts like I did in the swamp. Also gonna plant helluva more trees.

Until we meet again!

 

[ghostdog]

You know haven't seen those hordlings attack from the east. You should expand there and place some more cows and let Murphy's law do the rest !

 

[Rabidredneck]

might be a good idea to get your funds built back up.

 

[Ashery]

might be a good idea to get your funds built back up.

 

[Darth Roxor]

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do now. Actually, I decided that maybe I should do a risky manuever and screw the knights all together, but nevertheless, I'll expand the southern cow pen in the place with the double line of water in SE, since it's pretty much always completely safe and place all remaining cows there, and I'm gonna plant helluva trees everywhere.

 

[Darth Roxor]

The Kar-Nyar desert hath been invaded by vile Hordlings.

Art thou a valiant enough servant of the kingdom to reclaim the desert?

Spoiler

YEAR 4

Let's get to work on these knight posts. Gonna hire knights after all, since they do make the job done a lot faster.

And they still cost 50% more gold...

Yup, should do. Cows at limit, jolly good. Now all that needs to be done is sit tight and hoard jewish gold.

and plant helluva trees.

Seems that they come from the west this time.

Or not. Security got breached the moment I left to fend off the western wave. They must have a master tactician somewhere there

God, the retards can't even guard cows properly. But that's mostly because of their MAGNIFICENT turning speed, so it takes years for them to do a 180 degrees turn.

not bad.

more trees.

more horde.

Again. I just went south, and they sent in a spec-ops squad in the north to assassinate villagers and demolish houses

FUCK. I was a 0.1 sec late to save the villager.

Now for the rest.

It turns out not all remaining hordlings are burrowers.

At least now that we are back at the cow limit we get helluva money again. We'll be needing a lot of it in the next area...

So we'll probably be facing less hordlings in the coming seasons. Neat

Right, since most of the regular hordlings come from the north and are a general nuisance to peasants stationed there, let's make their lives a bit more miserable.

Hurrrrrr. This broad moat should teach ANY incoming regular hordlings that swimming lessons are an important thing to take.

While planting trees, I come upon this.

What the hell? Well, we'll keep this and see if it becomes handy.

But first, there's a job that needs to be done.

Oh lawd, you can't burrow through water, aye, punks? I feel for you.

epic battle ensues.

At this point I also heard the rather distinctive roars of tanks.

Let's check the map for any latecomers... Yup, apparently three tanks incoming.

Activate ze turboengines Herman. Full speed ahead on ze battleships.

Jawohl, Herr Oberleutnant!

Prepare ze wunderwaffe.

FEEL ZE WRATH OF ZE KRIEGSMARINE, RED SCHWEINHUND.

One down. Take us to ze second target Herman.

Zhey are trying to get away, but zhey will sleep with ze fishies today.

Sieg.

Locate und approach ze third target.

TAKE AIM...

FEUER!!!!!!!

Haha! Ze Vaterland ist victorious once again!

Now ze smaller vessels.

Juden gold.

Und juden gems.

That's the last of 'em.

The moat seriously made things a lot easier...

While scouting the desert for more strange things, I found this. Its purpose is probably similar to the green meat found before, why is it here still eludes me.

Also found some strange, small cactus in the desert that I couldn't remove with the shovel. Maybe something will happen if I drive water to it (taking screenshots of said cactus has been forgotten)

Moar!

Shaman beams into the village.

Chauncey gets dazed while trying to kill it. But fortunately, just after that he was shot with a fireball that snapped him out of it.

Go away shaman, nobody likes you.

Now to kill some random hordlings throughout the village.

And lastly, the useless burrowers.

Splat.

Thwack.

Slash.

Stab (jewish gold).

Aaaaaand this concludes year 4. There are two more years to face in the desert, thanks to the general uselessness of the burrowers, I don't foresee too many problems (unless we get attacked by 20 tanks).

Also, important notice: I'm sad to announce that this LP is currently on hold 'till the start of July, since tomorrow I'm leaving for well-deserved (hurrr) 20 days of vacation.

Chauncey and Co. will see you back in a month then!

 

[Satori (original)]

Chauncey and Co. will see you back in a month then!

FUCKER! Hope you have yourself a nice time.

 

[SlavemasterT]

Also, important notice: I'm sad to announce that this LP is currently on hold 'till the start of July, since tomorrow I'm leaving for well-deserved (hurrr) 20 days of vacation.

Dammit! This has been a kick-ass LP, you'd better not quit on it.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Dammit! This has been a kick-ass LP, you'd better not quit on it.

No sweat, when I'm back I'm gonna continue.