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Completed Let's play: Horde! (Finished)
- Thread starter Darth Roxor
- Start date
*fanfare of trumpets*
Greetings citizens! I'm back (earlier than expected) from the nearly waterless hippie commune, and here I am, revitalising this fine thread.
Stay tuned, for next time, we shall face year 6 - the final year of the Kar-Nyar Desert!
Greetings citizens! I'm back (earlier than expected) from the nearly waterless hippie commune, and here I am, revitalising this fine thread.
Last time we left Chauncey, we observed him fighting through the fourth year in the treacherous desert. Now, you will witness...
YEAR 5
but before we start with the Actual Action (TM), here's something I bought along the way.
A quick view of our promising settlement (even though it's like, three times as small as the swamp one).
And let's continue getting water to this mysterious cactus.
whoop-de-doo.
I love watching them drown.
Citizens of Kar-Nyar! The cow pen is under siege by a hordling menace!
Security breach
What is this nonsense? :evil:
Another drowned sucker
not bad.
something stirs.
Whoa
*Achievement unlocked: grew a magic tree in 5 seconds*
'Sup, talking frog-like creature.
Let's see if the strange objects we found previously in the desert work here.
Why, yes, yes they do.
Oh yeah? And what else do you want, your lordship? A limo and a goddamn red carpet?!
I proceeded to scout the desert for more anomalies that we could drop in front of the tree, but found nothing.
Five? This is suspicious.
Only jumpers?
Two jumpers and three burrowers. P A T H E T I C
Hmmmm... this might be an effect of the previous year's event, when the king told us he's away hunting hordlings.
Yup, we've seen this before. I still have no idea what it means. Might be nothing at all, too.
All I'm doing in the strategy mode now is combing the desert for food.
Still found nothing.
lotsa.
Incoming fighters.
Aaaaawwww... can't breathe under water, huh?
And we aren't mace-resistant too, eh?
Check the two suckers in the north.
*blup blup*
Now to take out the burrowers.
Yes... getting this extra-broad moat was a good investment.
Very good investment...
Jolly good.
Right, I didn't take any screens of the strategy mode of winter, since I spent all the time looking for food again. And haven't found anything.
Again.
Goddamn personal teleporters.
The shaman dropped a large pile of jewish gold. I have no doubts they're being paid by the chancellor
Time to take out non-burrowers.
Splat!
Time to run around after 8 burrowers.
How jolly.
Activated boots to make it faster
Notice that we got 725 instead of 750 for the cows. It means one of them stands on sand. I fucking hate when vapourisation happens during the fighting part.
YEAR 5
but before we start with the Actual Action (TM), here's something I bought along the way.
A quick view of our promising settlement (even though it's like, three times as small as the swamp one).
And let's continue getting water to this mysterious cactus.
whoop-de-doo.
I love watching them drown.
Citizens of Kar-Nyar! The cow pen is under siege by a hordling menace!
Security breach
What is this nonsense? :evil:
Another drowned sucker
not bad.
something stirs.
Whoa
*Achievement unlocked: grew a magic tree in 5 seconds*
'Sup, talking frog-like creature.
Let's see if the strange objects we found previously in the desert work here.
Why, yes, yes they do.
Oh yeah? And what else do you want, your lordship? A limo and a goddamn red carpet?!
I proceeded to scout the desert for more anomalies that we could drop in front of the tree, but found nothing.
Five? This is suspicious.
Only jumpers?
Two jumpers and three burrowers. P A T H E T I C
Hmmmm... this might be an effect of the previous year's event, when the king told us he's away hunting hordlings.
Yup, we've seen this before. I still have no idea what it means. Might be nothing at all, too.
All I'm doing in the strategy mode now is combing the desert for food.
Still found nothing.
lotsa.
Incoming fighters.
Aaaaawwww... can't breathe under water, huh?
And we aren't mace-resistant too, eh?
Check the two suckers in the north.
*blup blup*
Now to take out the burrowers.
Yes... getting this extra-broad moat was a good investment.
Very good investment...
Jolly good.
Right, I didn't take any screens of the strategy mode of winter, since I spent all the time looking for food again. And haven't found anything.
Again.
Goddamn personal teleporters.
The shaman dropped a large pile of jewish gold. I have no doubts they're being paid by the chancellor
Time to take out non-burrowers.
Splat!
Time to run around after 8 burrowers.
How jolly.
Activated boots to make it faster
Notice that we got 725 instead of 750 for the cows. It means one of them stands on sand. I fucking hate when vapourisation happens during the fighting part.
Stay tuned, for next time, we shall face year 6 - the final year of the Kar-Nyar Desert!
Last edited:
Brother None
inXile Entertainment
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 5,673
Hurray Chauncey is back! And his fight with the <s>jew chancellor</s>evil horde continues!
Why no knight in the opening to the cowpen anymore?
Why no knight in the opening to the cowpen anymore?
Brother None said:
There never was one. I didn't put him there, because the entrance is in such a place that I thought nothing would manage to find it.
And well, I was almost right, since it's the first hordling to enter the cow pen through the 'door'.
Jim Cojones
Prophet
Yeah!Darth Roxor said:
Rabidredneck
Liturgist
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2009
- Messages
- 303
Welcome back! Looking forward to moar Horde splattering!
Let's be done with this stupid desert already.
Well then. This concludes the desert! Say 'farewell' to that wretched hive of scum and villainy, and 'hello' to...
... the even more wretched hive of scum and villainy that you will discover in the next update!
YEAR 6
Another look at our fine town.
And this concludes looking at our fine town, since there are hordlings that need a beating.
Multiple suckers coming in fast.
I love slaughtering the regular hordlings.
Hurrrrr, shouldn't have escaped into the water, stupid hordling.
Let's try digging around for the last piece of food for Wimbli. Although I believe this is a lost cause right now.
jewish gold
Allow me to quote a great philosopher:
: Foooooooooooooool
Oops, there's stuff in the village.
That's the first villager lost in a... uh... long time
Damn burrowers act randomly sometimes and stop hugging the coast to charge you.
TWO villagers even. That's uncommon.
Spent the next season looking for food, and didn't find anything again. It's probably lost somewhere in time and space. Oh well, we'll be able to buy Wimbli's item in the next region.
Let's get these suckers in the east
CLEAR! At this point I also heard tanks incoming
ENGAGE ZE WUNDERWAFFE, HERMAN.
(soundtrack to this episode: Anti-Tank (Dead Armour))
Scattered on foreign fields
Lie the burnt out hulls
Of our dead armour
Hold position...
...Position held
Retained new glory sought.
Outgunned...
Outnumbered...
Though never outclassed...
...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THERE'S A TANK IN OUR COW PEN
Taking hits. We've also lost a cow.
STOP BEING DAZED, RETARD
Okay, a funny thing happened here. Notice how the wall looks. Instead of being a solid line of concrete, something strange took place making it 'ribbed', which made the tank stuck and vulnerable to hits.
Oh well, I'm not complaining
Now for the burrowers.
Okay, this is seriously strange. The burrowers must have got an AI boost somewhere between the years, because they keep trying to charge me instead of running along the waterways like retards.
I also have 16 hp now, which means 1 hit = dead.
Fortunately, I was extra careful and managed to not get myself killed for your amusement.
Aaaaaaaaand winter! Time to sell all this crap.
Left only a few knights in places where they can protect 2 houses, just in case. You may never know what will happen in last year's winter.
I must say, it's pretty interesting how new houses are built in a giant clusterfuck next to eachother when you have a small living space in your town, because the roads are limited by a huge ass moat *cough*
SHAMAN
How about you stop beaming out and confusing my knights, cocksucker?!
Thwack!
Now for the lone one in the south, and then reinforce the NE part.
Jumpers prefer to wreak general havoc and mayhem instead of stopping by to eat villagers.
No tanks? In a 'goodbye' season?
Ok, I'm disappointed. Seriously disappointed.
Stupid, useless burrowers.
Zzzzzing!
Eeeehhhh... what?
Another look at our fine town.
And this concludes looking at our fine town, since there are hordlings that need a beating.
Multiple suckers coming in fast.
I love slaughtering the regular hordlings.
Hurrrrr, shouldn't have escaped into the water, stupid hordling.
Let's try digging around for the last piece of food for Wimbli. Although I believe this is a lost cause right now.
jewish gold
Allow me to quote a great philosopher:
Oops, there's stuff in the village.
That's the first villager lost in a... uh... long time
Damn burrowers act randomly sometimes and stop hugging the coast to charge you.
TWO villagers even. That's uncommon.
Spent the next season looking for food, and didn't find anything again. It's probably lost somewhere in time and space. Oh well, we'll be able to buy Wimbli's item in the next region.
Let's get these suckers in the east
CLEAR! At this point I also heard tanks incoming
ENGAGE ZE WUNDERWAFFE, HERMAN.
(soundtrack to this episode: Anti-Tank (Dead Armour))
Scattered on foreign fields
Lie the burnt out hulls
Of our dead armour
Hold position...
...Position held
Retained new glory sought.
Outgunned...
Outnumbered...
Though never outclassed...
...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THERE'S A TANK IN OUR COW PEN
Taking hits. We've also lost a cow.
STOP BEING DAZED, RETARD
Okay, a funny thing happened here. Notice how the wall looks. Instead of being a solid line of concrete, something strange took place making it 'ribbed', which made the tank stuck and vulnerable to hits.
Oh well, I'm not complaining
Now for the burrowers.
Okay, this is seriously strange. The burrowers must have got an AI boost somewhere between the years, because they keep trying to charge me instead of running along the waterways like retards.
I also have 16 hp now, which means 1 hit = dead.
Fortunately, I was extra careful and managed to not get myself killed for your amusement.
Aaaaaaaaand winter! Time to sell all this crap.
Left only a few knights in places where they can protect 2 houses, just in case. You may never know what will happen in last year's winter.
I must say, it's pretty interesting how new houses are built in a giant clusterfuck next to eachother when you have a small living space in your town, because the roads are limited by a huge ass moat *cough*
SHAMAN
How about you stop beaming out and confusing my knights, cocksucker?!
Thwack!
Now for the lone one in the south, and then reinforce the NE part.
Jumpers prefer to wreak general havoc and mayhem instead of stopping by to eat villagers.
No tanks? In a 'goodbye' season?
Ok, I'm disappointed. Seriously disappointed.
Stupid, useless burrowers.
Zzzzzing!
Eeeehhhh... what?
Well then. This concludes the desert! Say 'farewell' to that wretched hive of scum and villainy, and 'hello' to...
... the even more wretched hive of scum and villainy that you will discover in the next update!
Last edited:
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Messages
- 15,003
Can't wait.
Stereotypical Villain
Arcane
We need Horde avatars at some point in the future.
Welcome back, citizens of fair Codexia.
Last time, we left the Kar-Nyar desert. Let's see what the chancellor has for us this time.
Are you a bad enough dude to face the new region full of assholism extraordinaire?
Here we are. Make yourselves at home.
So, uh... about those ways of melting the snow?
Well,
ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
mofo villager is mofo.
Now for some cows and knights.
and more land
much more land
Thar she blows!
Yeah, eventually. Sorry, I'm a casual gamer and demand instant gratification
so I prefer other ways of dealing with the ice, like,
bombing the shit out of it.
Also, let's try a risky tactic and fire knights, get a lot of cows in the south (assuming the hordlings come mainly from the north) and get some archers.
incoming from the north, just as planned.
but there's also stuff in the south, just as NOT planned.
Ooooookaaaaaaaay, this manuever was stupid. Fuck the archers, I'm getting knights next time.
Meh.
Great. We'll probably be getting helluva more water around the village.
I could have used that in the desert. Here? Not so much.
Anyone have any idea what this means? Because I don't.
Let's reorganise this shit a bit.
And clear away some snow.
Later I realised how stupid it was to waste cash on clearing the snow on the reaches of the map, since it comes back in the next season anyway, and I'm not using anything out there.
Get 'em, lads!
Shit... new type of hordling in the ruined house. Let me give you a better view.
This, my gentle readers, is a snow hordling. The nastiest S.O.B. of them all. He's almost as tough as a tank, hits almost as hard, is as intelligent as a thief, faster than a regular hordling, shoots snowballs that can immobilize you for a small period of time iirc, leaves snow in his wake and is immune to our flaming wunderwaffe.
Fucking great, isn't it?
Still, he ain't immune to our knights. Hurrhurrhurr.
ORLY NOW?!
Planted helluva trees. When the map expands further south, I'll make a cow pen there. Right now there's not enough room.
Iiiiiiincomin'
Fucking snow hordlings. I hate them.
HATE THEM.
HATE!!
HATE!!!!!1111111
Well, right. To the shoppe.
The only new item. It's the one we didn't manage to obtain in the previous chapter.
Suffice to say, I have no idea what it does. In all my playthroughs, I managed to get to the ice wastes only once, gave up after the second year, I think, and never bought this trident. But judging from the description, it probably does some sort of a horrible nuclear holocaust.
Anyway, until next time!
Last time, we left the Kar-Nyar desert. Let's see what the chancellor has for us this time.
Are you a bad enough dude to face the new region full of assholism extraordinaire?
Here we are. Make yourselves at home.
So, uh... about those ways of melting the snow?
Well,
ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
mofo villager is mofo.
Now for some cows and knights.
and more land
much more land
Thar she blows!
Yeah, eventually. Sorry, I'm a casual gamer and demand instant gratification
so I prefer other ways of dealing with the ice, like,
bombing the shit out of it.
Also, let's try a risky tactic and fire knights, get a lot of cows in the south (assuming the hordlings come mainly from the north) and get some archers.
incoming from the north, just as planned.
but there's also stuff in the south, just as NOT planned.
Ooooookaaaaaaaay, this manuever was stupid. Fuck the archers, I'm getting knights next time.
Meh.
Great. We'll probably be getting helluva more water around the village.
I could have used that in the desert. Here? Not so much.
Anyone have any idea what this means? Because I don't.
Let's reorganise this shit a bit.
And clear away some snow.
Later I realised how stupid it was to waste cash on clearing the snow on the reaches of the map, since it comes back in the next season anyway, and I'm not using anything out there.
Get 'em, lads!
Shit... new type of hordling in the ruined house. Let me give you a better view.
This, my gentle readers, is a snow hordling. The nastiest S.O.B. of them all. He's almost as tough as a tank, hits almost as hard, is as intelligent as a thief, faster than a regular hordling, shoots snowballs that can immobilize you for a small period of time iirc, leaves snow in his wake and is immune to our flaming wunderwaffe.
Fucking great, isn't it?
Still, he ain't immune to our knights. Hurrhurrhurr.
ORLY NOW?!
Planted helluva trees. When the map expands further south, I'll make a cow pen there. Right now there's not enough room.
Iiiiiiincomin'
Fucking snow hordlings. I hate them.
HATE THEM.
HATE!!
HATE!!!!!1111111
Well, right. To the shoppe.
The only new item. It's the one we didn't manage to obtain in the previous chapter.
Suffice to say, I have no idea what it does. In all my playthroughs, I managed to get to the ice wastes only once, gave up after the second year, I think, and never bought this trident. But judging from the description, it probably does some sort of a horrible nuclear holocaust.
Anyway, until next time!
Last edited:
Stereotypical Villain
Arcane
So snow hordlings are like russian T-34 tanks?
Brother None
inXile Entertainment
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 5,673
Seriously, your solutions to "too much snow" is "BOMB IT"?
...
How American are you?
...
How American are you?
Rabidredneck
Liturgist
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2009
- Messages
- 303
Man, Chauncey's starting to get a bit of an attitude, isn't he?
SerratedBiz
Arcane
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2009
- Messages
- 4,143
Oo, I've never seen the game past the desert. Those snow hordlings look like they came from a whole different can of grafix.
Well, hello again! Don't you think it's high time to thwack us some hordlings?
Well, brace yourself then, because here comes a huge Update XXL
But first, check out this fucking awesome DRM.
Anyway, YEAR 2
Soooo, here's our town. Let's populate it a bit.
This should do. I believe the knights currently outnumber villagers. It's no longer a simple village, but a military base.
INCOMING
SPLAT!
Great
hmm, either I forgot to take any screens of summer strategy mode, or I didn't do anything except chopping/planting trees. Oh well,
Right then, let's go north.
Or not. Shaman in the base!
D: !!!!!
ASSHOLE!!
Crime and pwnishment.
Some more random pictures of random chaos in the village.
Hmmm, we didn't see this for some time now.
Holy shit, he assaulted the knight.
But Chauncey saved him in time
Great. Double cash from crops!
Right, I think there's enough room in the south, let's make preparations for the cow pen.
Removed some snow, and made the first foundations of the walls.
And ran out of time.
There are some seriously low amounts of hordlings incoming this year. Peculiar.
Let's assume the knight can handle the two hordlings coming from the southwest and take the southeast one.
how fucking jolly...
Faggot tried to make a big snowball to take out the knight. Fortunately, I stopped him in the middle of the deed.
Whoa, no losses. And notice the +200 from 25 crops - we get 8 gold per crop instead of 4. Splendid.
Right, the walls are in place. Now to clear the snow and get some bovine
And time's up.
THEY COME FROM ALL SIDES!1
OHMIGOD WE'RE BEING OVERRUN!!1
fuck.
Goddammit, Chauncey's 'swings-till-dazed' limit should increase along with his HP
I heard cows going down at this point, but I couldn't see anything.
SECURITY BREACH!!!!
All hands to battle stations
Fire ze deck guns on ze invaders, Herman.
Jawohl, herr Oberleutnant!
Filzhy schweinhunds
Darn. Oh well, two cows here, two cows there, doesn't matter anyway.
What the hell? :shock:
Anyway, and here you thought I'm gonna stop? HAHA! Fooled you, because I'm gonna start
YEAR 3
Ubercowpen under construction.
*insert Warcraft sounds of saws while buildings are raised*
Work completed.
And moved one of the knights to the northern front. And thanks to a rather interesting missclick, instead of 2 cows, I planted...
two spike traps next to him. Go me.
They seem to really love hugging the walls lately. I think it might be because of its ribbed nature that doesn't allow them to run along its side. Oh well.
Shit, gotta reinforce the north side.
LEAVE SANTA ALONE DOUCHEFAG
Could be worse, I suppose...
Summer. Which means the ice covering the waters melted, so we can dig through them and do something mofo.
So I made a moat around the cow pen. Well, it won't make anything drown in seasons other than summer, but at least when it freezes again, the ice gives faster running speed than snow, so we'll be able to react faster in case of a security breach.
Situation contained. Proceed to other areas of infestation.
Hohohoho. You know what I'm gonna do now? Something I didn't do in a long time and I missed it a lot.
hurrhurrhurr
The tank.
The tank.
The tank is on fire.
so-so.
Dammit, horde crops in the northeast.
We're northbound.
And rightly so.
Gah, stupid villagers shouldn't overextend their goddamn houses so much.
ffs
FFS
One fucking snow hordling took two of our goddamn villagers, and all that because Chauncey can't swing for shit.
Two assholes left.
Epic battle.
THWACK!
What the hell, he went right through the goddamn knight. I'll have to extend these corridors a bit next time.
Hrm.
Corridors extended. Planted another knight in the north.
And bombed some snow. Just for the hell of it.
It's quiet. Too quiet.
Enemy sighted.
Lotsa.
SECURITY BREACH!!!
Two cows lost so far.
Make that three cows.
And now some shitty regulars.
Meh.
But, our finances each year are more or less the same, which is good.
And this concludes today's Update XXL, have fun, and until next time!
Well, brace yourself then, because here comes a huge Update XXL
But first, check out this fucking awesome DRM.
Anyway, YEAR 2
Soooo, here's our town. Let's populate it a bit.
This should do. I believe the knights currently outnumber villagers. It's no longer a simple village, but a military base.
INCOMING
SPLAT!
Great
hmm, either I forgot to take any screens of summer strategy mode, or I didn't do anything except chopping/planting trees. Oh well,
Right then, let's go north.
Or not. Shaman in the base!
D: !!!!!
ASSHOLE!!
Crime and pwnishment.
Some more random pictures of random chaos in the village.
Hmmm, we didn't see this for some time now.
Holy shit, he assaulted the knight.
But Chauncey saved him in time
Great. Double cash from crops!
Right, I think there's enough room in the south, let's make preparations for the cow pen.
Removed some snow, and made the first foundations of the walls.
And ran out of time.
There are some seriously low amounts of hordlings incoming this year. Peculiar.
Let's assume the knight can handle the two hordlings coming from the southwest and take the southeast one.
how fucking jolly...
Faggot tried to make a big snowball to take out the knight. Fortunately, I stopped him in the middle of the deed.
Whoa, no losses. And notice the +200 from 25 crops - we get 8 gold per crop instead of 4. Splendid.
Right, the walls are in place. Now to clear the snow and get some bovine
And time's up.
THEY COME FROM ALL SIDES!1
OHMIGOD WE'RE BEING OVERRUN!!1
fuck.
Goddammit, Chauncey's 'swings-till-dazed' limit should increase along with his HP
I heard cows going down at this point, but I couldn't see anything.
SECURITY BREACH!!!!
All hands to battle stations
Fire ze deck guns on ze invaders, Herman.
Jawohl, herr Oberleutnant!
Filzhy schweinhunds
Darn. Oh well, two cows here, two cows there, doesn't matter anyway.
What the hell? :shock:
Anyway, and here you thought I'm gonna stop? HAHA! Fooled you, because I'm gonna start
YEAR 3
Ubercowpen under construction.
*insert Warcraft sounds of saws while buildings are raised*
Work completed.
And moved one of the knights to the northern front. And thanks to a rather interesting missclick, instead of 2 cows, I planted...
two spike traps next to him. Go me.
They seem to really love hugging the walls lately. I think it might be because of its ribbed nature that doesn't allow them to run along its side. Oh well.
Shit, gotta reinforce the north side.
LEAVE SANTA ALONE DOUCHEFAG
Could be worse, I suppose...
Summer. Which means the ice covering the waters melted, so we can dig through them and do something mofo.
So I made a moat around the cow pen. Well, it won't make anything drown in seasons other than summer, but at least when it freezes again, the ice gives faster running speed than snow, so we'll be able to react faster in case of a security breach.
Situation contained. Proceed to other areas of infestation.
Hohohoho. You know what I'm gonna do now? Something I didn't do in a long time and I missed it a lot.
hurrhurrhurr
The tank.
The tank.
The tank is on fire.
so-so.
Dammit, horde crops in the northeast.
We're northbound.
And rightly so.
Gah, stupid villagers shouldn't overextend their goddamn houses so much.
ffs
FFS
One fucking snow hordling took two of our goddamn villagers, and all that because Chauncey can't swing for shit.
Two assholes left.
Epic battle.
THWACK!
What the hell, he went right through the goddamn knight. I'll have to extend these corridors a bit next time.
Hrm.
Corridors extended. Planted another knight in the north.
And bombed some snow. Just for the hell of it.
It's quiet. Too quiet.
Enemy sighted.
Lotsa.
SECURITY BREACH!!!
Two cows lost so far.
Make that three cows.
And now some shitty regulars.
Meh.
But, our finances each year are more or less the same, which is good.
And this concludes today's Update XXL, have fun, and until next time!
Last edited:
The Genius
Educated
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2009
- Messages
- 38
Epic
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