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Let's play Mother 3 (Completed)
- Thread starter lightbane
- Start date
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update 16: Twenty thousand inane leagues under the sea
Well we’re here. In this update the game’s mindfuck factor will reach its peak.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA1fZXbX ... re=related
The screenshots cannot show it correctly but this arrow is constantly moving upwards and downwards, Lucas and co decide to examine it.
Crab: “Real crabs try to copy our taste, color, and texture, but we just look the other way. What CAN’T be overlooked, though, is Tanetane Island south of here. You’re headed there too, right? I pretty much knew before I even saw ya. You can wait all you want but no ship’s gonna come. You gotta walk across the ocean. First, talk to the sea. Get up real nice and close. And then everything’ll start from there.”
Screw it, before attempting such inane voyage, we return to the Highways.
If you do you’ll find this nice easter egg. This vehicle is useless by this point but it includes its own sound effects just because it wasn’t random enough.
There we go, we’ll have to run below the sea until we reach the Tanetane Island, fuck logic and common sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEIb2kF2KdY
Yes, EXACTLY what it looks like, that “male siren” is kissing a porksoldier. Don’t ask.
”I know they supply us with oxygen, but these machines just aren’t my thing… They’re really demoralizing.”
The porksoldier slowly backs away.
Now the action returns to our party. You see, since we’re below the water the party has a limited supply of oxygen (shown by the bar at the left corner), if the bar reaches zero Lucas and co drown and you’re forced to start again (but all of the stuff you looted and such is maintained). To complicate matters it’s not possible to run here, the party is slightly pushed by the ocean currents when you’re moving (thus making it harder to navigate), and there aren’t any save points until the end of this level (savestates don’t count).
”Don’t forget to supply yourself with oxygen while underwater. Use the oxygen supply machines efficiently and effectively.”
”Ask it for some oxygen?”
To refill your oxygen supply you must “ask” these machines, the party will be “kissed” and the air reserves replenished, Lucas’ already cracked sanity be damned (more proof of how evil the jewtech is, only the most evil and twisted mind would create these machines, right Andonuts?)
For those interested of how it works: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsWEjcdAlBA
Of course, the ocean is filled too with bloodthirsty creatures like:
It can use Psi Freeze Beta, so it must be exterminated immediately
There some gifts to loot too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw_Izr1Ylr8
Another new porksoldier, this variant is an obvious parody of the Navy SEALS that can shoot a powerful laser and even shoot torpedoes that hit the entire party, but when they’re seriously hurt they randomly may decide it’s time to go on a paid vacation and run away (seriously, the game’s text says this). Trivia: There’s an unused Navy SQUEAL sprite in the game, which sports yellow and brown colors (probably an advanced enemy that was cut).
Yes, we have to go all the way to the South until we reach the other side. Since the path is mostly a straight line I’ll only post the relevant stuff, assume the party continues their evolution using the oxygen machines when needed.
”Are you an enemy? An enemy of all fishkind? IF so, then what do you say we fight? (Gladly) No, you shouldn’t do that. Fighting isn’t nice. It’s like they say, ‘Claw me and I’ll claw thee.’ Treasure the fish you catch. No, wait! Don’t catch fish! Let’s all get along.”
Wuss.
”He was like ‘You’re such a loser! You deserve to crawl around the sea floor without a shell!’ He was so mean and hurtful! He might as well have just thrown saltwater in my eyes.”
Rock Lobsters? Terrible creatures, I saw one the other day.
”I’m a real hard worker, so I’m gonna make it big in life. I’m talking BIG here! Maybe even bigger than a whale!”
Somewhere on the path I found this enemy guarding some loot, believe it or not it’s a strong miniboss, able to deliver powerful attacks such as:
Taking out between 80-120 hp per attack. Naturally we crush it with some psychic attacks, but even then it has a last trick to perform:
Luckily the battle ended before the damage was too great.
Our reward for defeating the boss, a nice headgear for Lucas that will stay with him until the endgame (once more, this could be a reference to Earthbound’s Poo, who was such a snob that had exclusive items named “X of the Kings”).
More new mooks, these don’t have anything relevant so they’re quickly bashed to death.
When you reach this point, you must move very fast because your oxygen will probably be very low, what’s more, here you find an oxygen machine…
But it’s broken
Fear not, there’s another functional machine a bit further away from here, so the party continues… until we find something more horrible, more terrible than the mudcrabs: the Rock Lobsters!
Awesome design is awesome. These cool bugs may not look very threatening but they’re surprisingly hard to kill, use one Smoke Bomb to blind them and then abuse of PSI/physical attacks until they’re knocked down (they may have the power of Rock but our party has even greater Bro-power).
Now we could backtrack to the Hermit Crab to complete the mini-sidequest, but it’s faster allowing Lucas to drown and respawn at the start.
”Please! Give it back to me! Thank you! I can’t give you anything in return, but I do have some cash, if that’s okay with you! How much shall I give you? 1000 DP or so? Please accept it!”
1000 DP? Not bad, helping random crabs is more productive than I thought.
We’re getting closer to our goal. So far we’re good…
”There, you’ll find the forbidden… The forbidden… What was it again? There’s a forbidden what-was-it-again there!”
Here the party spots a Save Frog, this must mean a boss fight is nearby.
”Save your game?”
Just as planned, here’s the boss.
Djinn exists, and he’s angry
”I didn’t get swallowed –this is actually an one-on-one, all-out battle.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEdZVcE8 ... re=related
”Eat them anyway?” (Hell no) But there doesn’t seem to be anything else that’s edible.
Well, we’re fucked, we don’t have any PP, only 1 hp, and no healing items except some suspicious-looking mushrooms.
And the path is blocked by a fearsome enemy.
Still, we can win if we’re lucky, chaaarge!!!!
…Guess not, this enemy uses a technique that’s very weak but enough to one-hit ko all of the party members. Lucas will have to eat the mushrooms to continue, let’s hope these are not poisonous.
”but they’re okay to eat, right? Are you really going to eat them?”
Yes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, no? Besides, it worked for Mario…
Everyone but Ghostdog eats some mushrooms…
Suddenly, the music and the screen changes.
MINDFUCK!! It’s like Moonside all over again!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbPnkYVg ... re=related
Welcome to the weirdest part of the game, with even more mindfuck and creepy stuff than Gygas (except the ending). In fact, the rumors say the 1st script of this area was discarded because Itoi himself found it too creepy and disturbing, a shame.
Since Lucas and his friends are totally not tripping balls, all of the enemies here are shown as people the party knows, with some disturbing comments.
”Are you lost? Oh, there’s nothing wrong with being lost!”
A mid-boss that’s nothing more than a pushover if you abuse your powers. All of the “aggressive” illusions are “disguised” enemies, after a few hits they’ll reveal their “true” form. Also, it’s not very clear on screenshots but every time that a hostile hallucination is talked to, Ghostdog starts barking to warn you of the danger.
You can eat again the mushrooms to completely restore the party’s hp and pp (or that’s what they believe to happen). Now we must find the Magypsy before the party accidentally kill themselves and pray the 'gypsy will help us.
”I’m sorry… Don’t leave me again. Come with me. Let’s leave this place together. (If you don’t agree) You ungrateful child. You would make anyone cry. // (If you agree) Oh, wonderful! Oh, I know! Let’s take Princess Asuka with us, too! To a dark, far-away place!”
All of the hallucinations show the party members’ deepest fears, being Lucas’ ones the most abundant and the most fucked up (insert Freudian joke here).
For some reason all of the gifts here are replaced by thrash cans, and every item you get has that “maybe” line, making you wonder what's really happening there (the items still work as they should, though).
”Peek inside? There are lots of postcards inside. Read them? (Yes)The boy named Lucas is crying at a grave. The boy named Lucas and his dog are loitering in the forest. The boy name Lucas is getting into trouble in the mountains. The boy named Lucas stole Nuts from our garden. The boy named Lucas is bullying animals. The boy named Lucas learned some bad magic. The boy named Lucas… The boy named Lucas… The boy named Lucas… The mailbox let out a tremendous scream.”
Another item you can find on this inane island is a bunch these strange mailboxes. All of them contain fragments of the tortured, unbalanced mind of Lucas.
Hey, is that Claus? (Ghostdog starts barking as soon as you approach him)
”Yes! Okay, then I’ll be at the very end! Thanks!”
But as soon as you move…
”I’m Claus. Claus. I’m the Claus you can’t see, Lucas.”
Well we’re here. In this update the game’s mindfuck factor will reach its peak.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA1fZXbX ... re=related
The screenshots cannot show it correctly but this arrow is constantly moving upwards and downwards, Lucas and co decide to examine it.
Crab: “Real crabs try to copy our taste, color, and texture, but we just look the other way. What CAN’T be overlooked, though, is Tanetane Island south of here. You’re headed there too, right? I pretty much knew before I even saw ya. You can wait all you want but no ship’s gonna come. You gotta walk across the ocean. First, talk to the sea. Get up real nice and close. And then everything’ll start from there.”
Screw it, before attempting such inane voyage, we return to the Highways.
If you do you’ll find this nice easter egg. This vehicle is useless by this point but it includes its own sound effects just because it wasn’t random enough.
There we go, we’ll have to run below the sea until we reach the Tanetane Island, fuck logic and common sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEIb2kF2KdY
Yes, EXACTLY what it looks like, that “male siren” is kissing a porksoldier. Don’t ask.
The porksoldier slowly backs away.
Now the action returns to our party. You see, since we’re below the water the party has a limited supply of oxygen (shown by the bar at the left corner), if the bar reaches zero Lucas and co drown and you’re forced to start again (but all of the stuff you looted and such is maintained). To complicate matters it’s not possible to run here, the party is slightly pushed by the ocean currents when you’re moving (thus making it harder to navigate), and there aren’t any save points until the end of this level (savestates don’t count).
To refill your oxygen supply you must “ask” these machines, the party will be “kissed” and the air reserves replenished, Lucas’ already cracked sanity be damned (more proof of how evil the jewtech is, only the most evil and twisted mind would create these machines, right Andonuts?)
For those interested of how it works: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsWEjcdAlBA
Of course, the ocean is filled too with bloodthirsty creatures like:
It can use Psi Freeze Beta, so it must be exterminated immediately
There some gifts to loot too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw_Izr1Ylr8
Another new porksoldier, this variant is an obvious parody of the Navy SEALS that can shoot a powerful laser and even shoot torpedoes that hit the entire party, but when they’re seriously hurt they randomly may decide it’s time to go on a paid vacation and run away (seriously, the game’s text says this). Trivia: There’s an unused Navy SQUEAL sprite in the game, which sports yellow and brown colors (probably an advanced enemy that was cut).
Yes, we have to go all the way to the South until we reach the other side. Since the path is mostly a straight line I’ll only post the relevant stuff, assume the party continues their evolution using the oxygen machines when needed.
Wuss.
Rock Lobsters? Terrible creatures, I saw one the other day.
Somewhere on the path I found this enemy guarding some loot, believe it or not it’s a strong miniboss, able to deliver powerful attacks such as:
Taking out between 80-120 hp per attack. Naturally we crush it with some psychic attacks, but even then it has a last trick to perform:
Luckily the battle ended before the damage was too great.
Our reward for defeating the boss, a nice headgear for Lucas that will stay with him until the endgame (once more, this could be a reference to Earthbound’s Poo, who was such a snob that had exclusive items named “X of the Kings”).
More new mooks, these don’t have anything relevant so they’re quickly bashed to death.
When you reach this point, you must move very fast because your oxygen will probably be very low, what’s more, here you find an oxygen machine…
But it’s broken
Fear not, there’s another functional machine a bit further away from here, so the party continues… until we find something more horrible, more terrible than the mudcrabs: the Rock Lobsters!
Awesome design is awesome. These cool bugs may not look very threatening but they’re surprisingly hard to kill, use one Smoke Bomb to blind them and then abuse of PSI/physical attacks until they’re knocked down (they may have the power of Rock but our party has even greater Bro-power).
Now we could backtrack to the Hermit Crab to complete the mini-sidequest, but it’s faster allowing Lucas to drown and respawn at the start.
1000 DP? Not bad, helping random crabs is more productive than I thought.
We’re getting closer to our goal. So far we’re good…
Here the party spots a Save Frog, this must mean a boss fight is nearby.
Just as planned, here’s the boss.
Djinn exists, and he’s angry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEdZVcE8 ... re=related
Well, we’re fucked, we don’t have any PP, only 1 hp, and no healing items except some suspicious-looking mushrooms.
And the path is blocked by a fearsome enemy.
Still, we can win if we’re lucky, chaaarge!!!!
…Guess not, this enemy uses a technique that’s very weak but enough to one-hit ko all of the party members. Lucas will have to eat the mushrooms to continue, let’s hope these are not poisonous.
Yes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, no? Besides, it worked for Mario…
Everyone but Ghostdog eats some mushrooms…
Suddenly, the music and the screen changes.
MINDFUCK!! It’s like Moonside all over again!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbPnkYVg ... re=related
Welcome to the weirdest part of the game, with even more mindfuck and creepy stuff than Gygas (except the ending). In fact, the rumors say the 1st script of this area was discarded because Itoi himself found it too creepy and disturbing, a shame.
Since Lucas and his friends are totally not tripping balls, all of the enemies here are shown as people the party knows, with some disturbing comments.
A mid-boss that’s nothing more than a pushover if you abuse your powers. All of the “aggressive” illusions are “disguised” enemies, after a few hits they’ll reveal their “true” form. Also, it’s not very clear on screenshots but every time that a hostile hallucination is talked to, Ghostdog starts barking to warn you of the danger.
You can eat again the mushrooms to completely restore the party’s hp and pp (or that’s what they believe to happen). Now we must find the Magypsy before the party accidentally kill themselves and pray the 'gypsy will help us.
All of the hallucinations show the party members’ deepest fears, being Lucas’ ones the most abundant and the most fucked up (insert Freudian joke here).
For some reason all of the gifts here are replaced by thrash cans, and every item you get has that “maybe” line, making you wonder what's really happening there (the items still work as they should, though).
Another item you can find on this inane island is a bunch these strange mailboxes. All of them contain fragments of the tortured, unbalanced mind of Lucas.
Hey, is that Claus? (Ghostdog starts barking as soon as you approach him)
But as soon as you move…
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
continued, Lucas desperately needs a hug
”You hid me, didn’t you?”
”Don’t do aaanything. Don’t see anyone. Just sleep. It’ll be oh, so much fun…….! Ohohohohohohoho!”
Some of the hallucinations are just a bunch of non-sensical words, but these still "hide" a monster.
”Everyone’s waiting to throw rocks at you, spit on you, and you’re your life hell. Who’s ‘everyone’..? Everyone you love (incidentally that’s Itoi’s deepest fear, included here just because).”
This Claus’ illusion doesn’t even bother to wait, it directly pounces at you as soon as you walk closer.
”…Or so it seemed, but you were the one looking from the other side, too.”
”She’s waiting for you with fresh-made Omelets. She’s waiting. SHE’S WAITING FOR YOU!”
Notice the absence of a Hinawa telling Lucas he should had never been born or something like this, I think that could be part of the cut content of the island, removed to prevent it to be too disturbing (as if it really mattered).
Like the previous “not-Claus”, this enemy ambushes you.
”You haven’t eaten? You haven’t eaten? You haven’t eaten? You haven’t eaten? You haven’t eaten? You haven’t eaten?”
And then it attacks, but the party destroys it and continue forward.
More "ambushing Clauses".
”Lucas. Lucas. Let’s switch places. You’re more…”
”on on on on on on my my my my my my face face face face face face face face face face face face face face????????? …………. You’re scary. You’re you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re TOO TOO TOO TOO ssss ssss ssss ssscary scary.”
”What? She’s not coming back? Why, did you do something to her? Huh? I did it to her? Hinawa isn’t coming back? Who are you? What did you do? It’s time for supper. It’s time for supper. It’s time for supper.”
””Daddy’s gonna beat you”
These two hallucinations attack you right one after the other (the second one may be something true, considering how aggressive Clint is when enraged he probably had bashed the twins on the past).
”Wh wh whooo whooo who ww were w wwww were you yyyou youuuu y you again? Hyahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!”
We kill the monster and it drops something truly incredible.
That’s possibly Asuka’s best weapon, it increases all of her stats like Garret’s Mystical Shoes, and it’s VERY hard to obtain.
”I can talk forever and ever about how it was Lucas’ fault I wound up in trouble. Lucas did it. Lucas did it. Lucas did it. LUCAS DID IT.”
Screw you stupid monkey, you deserve to suffer for unleashing the Ultimate Chimera (even if it’s just an illusion).
Lucas' friends should consider bringing Lucas to a therapist after the world is saved, his mind is really unstable to say and if he isn't helped it will derange to something really awful like a compulsion to masturbate to comatose girls or worse.
For some reason Ghostdog whines and refuses to enter the Hot Spring (assuming that’s really a Hot Spring) but he is still fully restored.
There’s a mirror here but oddly enough it doesn’t show Lucas’ reflection when all of the other mirrors did.
”There is no such thing. Let’s hurry home no. Needle? A needle you say? Are you the needle? Don’t be stupid! I oughta pull you!”
”Touch my heart. See how it beats in and out? Lucas! There’s noooooothing to worry about now. It’s me! Claus!”
Fun fact, depending of your party’s composition when you go to this island the dialogues and hallucinations change (in other words, if you decided to directly go here with only Lucas and Gohstdog the Asuka’s hallucinations would be replaced with someone else and so on).
”She’s like a stick no one loves.”
That's partly her fault, if she was less bitchy she could have more friends. By the way, this is the final hostile illusion, all of the following ones are inoffensive (although the possibility of Asuka not being a real princess is intriguing).
”It’s scary even when it’s stopped.”
”A needle? A needle? A needle’s stuck in you? I’ll take it!”
”Truths are lies, and lies are truths. You, you’re all lies.”
So all of Mother 3 is Matrix 2.0? I would pay for that, Lucas is mute and yet much more expressive than Keanu “Stoneface” Reeves.
Right. Here's the "Magyhouse", even when tripping its inane design is the same.
”You’re weak! You’re weak! Lotus rooot!”
”Isn’t she pretty?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_jAzZ2Cu6k
”…You people stink.”
Quiet you, you're the only one that got some benefit considering how ugly Magypsies are.
”Might you be Lucas, Asuka, and Garret?”
Lucas, still drugged, replies negatively for no real reason.
”…Wow, you guys really stink. Ionia told me about you. I’m Mixolydia, one of the Magypsies. If that’s too hard to remember, ‘Mixo’… No, ‘Missy’ will do just fine. Okay… Line up here.”
”Just a tiny bite of those mushrooms will cause terrible hallucinations. Powerful hallucinations that tear at your weaknesses and the scars in your heart. But I’ll bring back to your senses now.”
Mixo uses its powers to restore the party to their senses by smacking them on the back of the head with a 2x4. So much for limitless power.
”I know what you want to ask. This island’s Needle is at the top of the hill. I sense that ‘the time’ has come, too. So whenever you want to pull it, go ahead… That’s assuming you can get rid of the special barrier I set up to protect it, of course… Oh I almost forgot. My friend Ocho here picked up each and every item you dropped in the ocean. Be sure to thank him.”
”Picking up those things along the beach is known as ‘beachcombing’, and I just loove it.”
Good, now we can go straight to the Needle’s place or backtrack and explore the island again, to see how it really looks. I'll do the latter.
The dialogue is the same as the mole cricket vendor of the previous update, so I skip it.
We update our gear and buy some food.
Heh, no wonder Ghostdog did not wanted to enter the Hot Spring. The real hot springs was hidden behind the supposed mirror.
These were the monsters we were fighting all the time (another fun fact: the moves these enemies use when the party was drugged are different of their usual ones but the effects were the same).
These things are very dangerous because they like to spam a multi-target attack, but in exchange they give you lots of XP, making them very easy to abuse to farm xp.
This island is filled with high-level gear. By the way, I’m sorry but at this point of the game I had to grind for some time until Lucas reached level 50 and learned Lifeup Omega, this move is really recommended to have for the incoming boss (if you don’t your party will learn what’s true suffering). Now, the boss:
”Barrier Man, Barrier Gal, Barrier Dude… Are they really that strong?”
… That’s it. Lulz. Fuck Dragon Age, it has been permanently defeated by the most mature boss ever, the homogay golems.
Here’s the conclusion, I separated it on another video because if I didn’t it would be too long
That was really disappointing, but what's done it's done, we have to return to Tazmily and proceed to the next Needle.
”I know I’m an octopus but please get on.”
The others managed to jump on the octopus on their first try but when Ghostdog attempted to climb the octopus he nearly slipped.
And that’s the end of this update, next one will cover what remains of Tazmily (now practically a ghost town) and the next Needle, ending this chapter and finally starting the last chapter of the game. Stay sharp!!
Some of the hallucinations are just a bunch of non-sensical words, but these still "hide" a monster.
This Claus’ illusion doesn’t even bother to wait, it directly pounces at you as soon as you walk closer.
Notice the absence of a Hinawa telling Lucas he should had never been born or something like this, I think that could be part of the cut content of the island, removed to prevent it to be too disturbing (as if it really mattered).
Like the previous “not-Claus”, this enemy ambushes you.
And then it attacks, but the party destroys it and continue forward.
More "ambushing Clauses".
These two hallucinations attack you right one after the other (the second one may be something true, considering how aggressive Clint is when enraged he probably had bashed the twins on the past).
We kill the monster and it drops something truly incredible.
That’s possibly Asuka’s best weapon, it increases all of her stats like Garret’s Mystical Shoes, and it’s VERY hard to obtain.
Screw you stupid monkey, you deserve to suffer for unleashing the Ultimate Chimera (even if it’s just an illusion).
Lucas' friends should consider bringing Lucas to a therapist after the world is saved, his mind is really unstable to say and if he isn't helped it will derange to something really awful like a compulsion to masturbate to comatose girls or worse.
For some reason Ghostdog whines and refuses to enter the Hot Spring (assuming that’s really a Hot Spring) but he is still fully restored.
There’s a mirror here but oddly enough it doesn’t show Lucas’ reflection when all of the other mirrors did.
Fun fact, depending of your party’s composition when you go to this island the dialogues and hallucinations change (in other words, if you decided to directly go here with only Lucas and Gohstdog the Asuka’s hallucinations would be replaced with someone else and so on).
That's partly her fault, if she was less bitchy she could have more friends. By the way, this is the final hostile illusion, all of the following ones are inoffensive (although the possibility of Asuka not being a real princess is intriguing).
So all of Mother 3 is Matrix 2.0? I would pay for that, Lucas is mute and yet much more expressive than Keanu “Stoneface” Reeves.
Right. Here's the "Magyhouse", even when tripping its inane design is the same.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_jAzZ2Cu6k
Quiet you, you're the only one that got some benefit considering how ugly Magypsies are.
Lucas, still drugged, replies negatively for no real reason.
Mixo uses its powers to restore the party to their senses by smacking them on the back of the head with a 2x4. So much for limitless power.
Good, now we can go straight to the Needle’s place or backtrack and explore the island again, to see how it really looks. I'll do the latter.
The dialogue is the same as the mole cricket vendor of the previous update, so I skip it.
We update our gear and buy some food.
Heh, no wonder Ghostdog did not wanted to enter the Hot Spring. The real hot springs was hidden behind the supposed mirror.
These were the monsters we were fighting all the time (another fun fact: the moves these enemies use when the party was drugged are different of their usual ones but the effects were the same).
These things are very dangerous because they like to spam a multi-target attack, but in exchange they give you lots of XP, making them very easy to abuse to farm xp.
This island is filled with high-level gear. By the way, I’m sorry but at this point of the game I had to grind for some time until Lucas reached level 50 and learned Lifeup Omega, this move is really recommended to have for the incoming boss (if you don’t your party will learn what’s true suffering). Now, the boss:
… That’s it. Lulz. Fuck Dragon Age, it has been permanently defeated by the most mature boss ever, the homogay golems.
Here’s the conclusion, I separated it on another video because if I didn’t it would be too long
That was really disappointing, but what's done it's done, we have to return to Tazmily and proceed to the next Needle.
The others managed to jump on the octopus on their first try but when Ghostdog attempted to climb the octopus he nearly slipped.
And that’s the end of this update, next one will cover what remains of Tazmily (now practically a ghost town) and the next Needle, ending this chapter and finally starting the last chapter of the game. Stay sharp!!
Admiral jimbob
gay as all hell
Jesus Christ that mushroom section
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
spekkio said:
Good job, soldier...
That was to be expected, after all the Magypsies were involved (and still, this boss' design is awesome and original even nowadays). However, the homogolems' power is equal to their gayness, which means they can be deadly for your 1st playthrough, when you don't know their abilities (if you don't kill them as fast as possible when their "formation" breaks, they start spamming Starstorm and your party is obliterated). I'm considering the idea of uploading some pics as avatars when I finish the lp, but I don't know how to do it.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update 17: One step closer to Hell (and Heaven)
In this update we’ll get another Needle and at last finish chapter 7, the longest one of the game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc_VBFu9VLY
Alec: ”Slowly but steadily, the people of Tazmily’ve been heading into the big city. I didn’t know you guys were still here, though. What’s that? You’re looking for Ionia’s house? It’s certainly not nearby, I can tell you that. Do you remember my little cabin in the mountains where you used to come visit? To the west of that old cabin is Argilla Pass. You can get to Ionia’s place from there. Whatever the case, it’d probably be a good idea to take a map… I ran into Mapson just a minute ago. He might still be around somewhere. You should get him to mark your map for you.”
Mapson: ”I don’t know anything about this Ionia person, but I do know where Argilla Pass is. Let me see your map for a second… There. This mark shows where Argilla Pass is. Bye now. This has been the map-loving and map-owning Mapson. Bye.”
And then he leaves, for real.
Nana: ”When did everyone suddenly get together to DISCUSS leaving for the big city?”
Using the powers of npcs’ off-screen teleport, duh.
Thomas: “Not me, though. I can’t just up and leave my store behind. Would you like to buy something?”
Thomas is a true bro, unfortunately his shop is irrelevant by now.
Guy: “Finally, I worked up the resolve to not care what happens, so I stepped outside… and everyone was gone. Which means this hotel now belongs to me. This is what they mean by ‘Stepping outside your comfort zone will lead to greater things.’ Understand, kid? Learn by my example! I went from a man with no money whatsoever to a hotel king! Welcome! ”
Shame no-one is here to congratulate you, you retard.
Pusher: “Even so, I really want to go. I should just ditch this miserable little village and be done with it… Oh, Lucas! You didn’t hear me talking to myself just now, did you?”
So much for being responsible and dedicated. Still, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Elmore: “Oh, why did he have to be the mayor of this dinky little village?”
Sebastian: “I couldn’t care less about the mayor and his wife. So I’m going to suddenly up and disappear in a day or two.”
Pigtard: “Once I close this gate, I’m off to New Pork City, too. But this stupid thing refuses to close. Gaah! C’mon!”
Even the Pigmen are gone.
Wess: “(Perception check): I have a bad feeling about this…”
Lighter: “or should we stay behind and keep an eye on the village? I just can’t decide…”
Yeah, it’s not like the world will probably be destroyed… oh wait. By the way, you’re not required to do this but if you go to the Pigmen Factory you’ll find this.
Now, time to continue the plot, we go to the indicated place, the trip is uneventful, so I skip the action until we reach this area:
Asuka: ”I recognize this area. Ionia’s house is north of here. The western path should lead us there. Let’s go!”
”Be careful not to drop anything.”
Unfortunately, the party ignores the sign and they stumble, losing the Jar in the process. If at least Lucas had a backpack/satchel like Ness did (and/or a belt for his pants)…
Asuka: ”Where’ the Jar of Yummy Pickles go? Did we drop it?! Though I guess that’s what happens when it’s easy to drop and easy to roll around…”
Garret: “Ghostdog. You help, too.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvbHvh5YxsY
For this minigame you gain control of Ghostdog. The goal here is to find the Jar (hidden in one of the “flashing lights”), but it’s better to examine everything, there are several items that are good finds (btw, the party needs more Skill ranks on the Search skill).
That’s one of the “flashing lights” I mentioned before.
That was a Pumice Charm, a defense-boosting accessory.
Now we can continue the game, entering a new “dungeon” with more quirky enemies.
This enemy is a very strange one, its attacks are very weak but it has a very high defense, but it dies after a single PSI Thunder power (any version works) or after ten physical attacks. When killed, this happens.
But it doesn’t give any real xp, I don’t know what was that about.
Another wandering mole cricket vendor. We buy some food items and the defensive gear, the weapons are good but Garret and Asuka’s ones are much better, so we ignore these and move on.
More new enemies. These two always appear in pairs, and what’s worse, the Tree is another kamikaze.
The party kills the last bunch of these thingies and enters a longish cave.
We’ll explore everything before moving to the eastern section.
The most advanced version of the Mole enemies, not a real threat but can call for reinforcements.
These fuckers (reminiscent of Earthbound’s Carefree Bombs), are deadly; they have a moderately high quantity of hit points, like to throw Bombs and Superbombs to hit your entire party, and lastly but not least they love to clung to one of your party members and initiate a self-destruct sequence. Alone they’re challenging, in groups either you spam psychic attacks or your party will be obliterated in a few turns.
We find a good item for Asuka.
This creature is awesome: It’s the incarnation of emoness, impotence and “pussyness”. It’s main strength is having lots of health and no elemental weaknesses, but his combat moves are...
I suggest that when I finish this lp we convert this sprite into of the Codex’s emoticons (and believe it or not, this encounter may or may not have plot relevance, you’ll understand what I mean later).
More slugs, aka pushovers.
A new “weapon” for Ghostdog.
This thing is the strongest enemy we meet until now. They’re very tough, can hit the entire party with massive shockwaves, and give tons of xp (but they can kill you very quickly if you subestimate them). Also, they have a 3% chance of dropping the Mystical Stick, Lucas’ equivalent of the “legendary” gear like Garret’s Mystical Boots. Since I need a pretty high level for the following section I decided to grind these fuckers until the party reaches level 55 (getting the Mystical Stick in the process, cool).
At last, the dungeon’s exit (I had been grinding for nearly half an hour here for the damned Mystical Stick).
To the north there’s a temple but it’s impossible to enter.
Here’s the Magypsy lair.
”Lucas. You always struck me as a bit of a crybaby, but you’ve grown so strong. (This could be a plot-hole, how could Ionia know that if he meet Lucas a few days ago? Unless it was spying Lucas for these 3 years, something that’s really possible it should not know that, whatever. Now he turns to face each party member starting from the right). Ghostdog. You came with him all this way? Good boy! Shake. Shake! (Ghostdog refuses to sake for obvious reasons)… Oh, you don’t know any tricks? Let’s see… This slightly plain-looking fellow… What was it again? Oh yes… Garret. I you’re your name! I was only teasing, dearie! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Garret. I know very well that your fate lies in helping cute li’l Lucas here.
Asuka. I’ve watched you since you were very little, but this is the prettiest you’ve ever been now. You’re absolutely FABULOUS. I know you might say, ‘Cut that crap out!’… But it’s the truth. *giggle* By the by, what’s in that jar you have there? It looks easy-to-drop and easy-to-roll. (Handed over the Jar). Oooh! FABULOUS! My absolute favorite! Yummy Pickles! You brought them all the way here for me? Thank you! These pickles will be the last thing I eat before I vanish… I’m going to really enjoy them. You don’t need to say anything. I understand. Five Needles have been pulled now.
Aeolia, Doria, Lydia, Phrygia, and Mixy… They’ve all disappeared, now that ‘the time’ has come… And now it’s my turn. That leaves only my Needle in Chupichupyoi Temple, and the one missing Needle… Now, adorable little Lucas, go to Chipichupyoi Temple. The temple is covered in vines frozen in time. You can’t get inside with them as they are. You’ll need to sprinkle these ‘Waters of Time’ on them (this may or may not be a joke to the Prince of Persia Sands of Faggotry series)."
We rest to heal our wounds, now onward to our victory!
A Franklin Badge? How could Clint have that? Is he’s Ness’ descendant (or an aged Ness)? These are questions that the game will leave up to interpretation.
The jewgolem continuously charges trying to break the vines with little success.
The Commander is so EXTREME that he throws a bomb to the barrier, the vines are unharmed but the golem is destroyed.
The pigmen spots the party and charges. The Colonel is an elite pigsoldier, for being a weak human he’s formidable (and starts with anti-physical attacks Barrier). Should the pigarmy had send them when Lucas started pulling the Needles they could destroy the party, alas it’s too late for them now. The Colonel is very vulnerable to Wall Staples (blame his cape), but I did not bother, I used Lucas’ strongest BROFORCE power and the bloom pwned them on a single turn.
Then, the commander uses his telepathic powers to order the soldiers to GTFO, he wants to deal with the party personally
The pigmen retreated after the Commander’s cyber-ass was properly kicked, so we’ll do what we have to do.
Using the magical Waters, the vines quickly flourish, wither and die.
Lastly but not least, here’s the end of this chapter
And that’s it. Who could be this last Magypsy? What will happen when all of the Needles are pulled? What will the Pigarmy do to stop us from succeeding? All of these questions will be replied on the next updates, only one Needle remains, we’re finally at the endgame gentlemen, only 3 or 2 updates remain. The end is nigh!
In this update we’ll get another Needle and at last finish chapter 7, the longest one of the game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc_VBFu9VLY
Alec: ”Slowly but steadily, the people of Tazmily’ve been heading into the big city. I didn’t know you guys were still here, though. What’s that? You’re looking for Ionia’s house? It’s certainly not nearby, I can tell you that. Do you remember my little cabin in the mountains where you used to come visit? To the west of that old cabin is Argilla Pass. You can get to Ionia’s place from there. Whatever the case, it’d probably be a good idea to take a map… I ran into Mapson just a minute ago. He might still be around somewhere. You should get him to mark your map for you.”
Mapson: ”I don’t know anything about this Ionia person, but I do know where Argilla Pass is. Let me see your map for a second… There. This mark shows where Argilla Pass is. Bye now. This has been the map-loving and map-owning Mapson. Bye.”
And then he leaves, for real.
Nana: ”When did everyone suddenly get together to DISCUSS leaving for the big city?”
Using the powers of npcs’ off-screen teleport, duh.
Thomas: “Not me, though. I can’t just up and leave my store behind. Would you like to buy something?”
Thomas is a true bro, unfortunately his shop is irrelevant by now.
Guy: “Finally, I worked up the resolve to not care what happens, so I stepped outside… and everyone was gone. Which means this hotel now belongs to me. This is what they mean by ‘Stepping outside your comfort zone will lead to greater things.’ Understand, kid? Learn by my example! I went from a man with no money whatsoever to a hotel king! Welcome! ”
Shame no-one is here to congratulate you, you retard.
Pusher: “Even so, I really want to go. I should just ditch this miserable little village and be done with it… Oh, Lucas! You didn’t hear me talking to myself just now, did you?”
So much for being responsible and dedicated. Still, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Elmore: “Oh, why did he have to be the mayor of this dinky little village?”
Sebastian: “I couldn’t care less about the mayor and his wife. So I’m going to suddenly up and disappear in a day or two.”
Pigtard: “Once I close this gate, I’m off to New Pork City, too. But this stupid thing refuses to close. Gaah! C’mon!”
Even the Pigmen are gone.
Wess: “(Perception check): I have a bad feeling about this…”
Lighter: “or should we stay behind and keep an eye on the village? I just can’t decide…”
Yeah, it’s not like the world will probably be destroyed… oh wait. By the way, you’re not required to do this but if you go to the Pigmen Factory you’ll find this.
Now, time to continue the plot, we go to the indicated place, the trip is uneventful, so I skip the action until we reach this area:
Asuka: ”I recognize this area. Ionia’s house is north of here. The western path should lead us there. Let’s go!”
Unfortunately, the party ignores the sign and they stumble, losing the Jar in the process. If at least Lucas had a backpack/satchel like Ness did (and/or a belt for his pants)…
Asuka: ”Where’ the Jar of Yummy Pickles go? Did we drop it?! Though I guess that’s what happens when it’s easy to drop and easy to roll around…”
Garret: “Ghostdog. You help, too.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvbHvh5YxsY
For this minigame you gain control of Ghostdog. The goal here is to find the Jar (hidden in one of the “flashing lights”), but it’s better to examine everything, there are several items that are good finds (btw, the party needs more Skill ranks on the Search skill).
That’s one of the “flashing lights” I mentioned before.
That was a Pumice Charm, a defense-boosting accessory.
Now we can continue the game, entering a new “dungeon” with more quirky enemies.
This enemy is a very strange one, its attacks are very weak but it has a very high defense, but it dies after a single PSI Thunder power (any version works) or after ten physical attacks. When killed, this happens.
But it doesn’t give any real xp, I don’t know what was that about.
Another wandering mole cricket vendor. We buy some food items and the defensive gear, the weapons are good but Garret and Asuka’s ones are much better, so we ignore these and move on.
More new enemies. These two always appear in pairs, and what’s worse, the Tree is another kamikaze.
The party kills the last bunch of these thingies and enters a longish cave.
We’ll explore everything before moving to the eastern section.
The most advanced version of the Mole enemies, not a real threat but can call for reinforcements.
These fuckers (reminiscent of Earthbound’s Carefree Bombs), are deadly; they have a moderately high quantity of hit points, like to throw Bombs and Superbombs to hit your entire party, and lastly but not least they love to clung to one of your party members and initiate a self-destruct sequence. Alone they’re challenging, in groups either you spam psychic attacks or your party will be obliterated in a few turns.
We find a good item for Asuka.
This creature is awesome: It’s the incarnation of emoness, impotence and “pussyness”. It’s main strength is having lots of health and no elemental weaknesses, but his combat moves are...
I suggest that when I finish this lp we convert this sprite into of the Codex’s emoticons (and believe it or not, this encounter may or may not have plot relevance, you’ll understand what I mean later).
More slugs, aka pushovers.
A new “weapon” for Ghostdog.
This thing is the strongest enemy we meet until now. They’re very tough, can hit the entire party with massive shockwaves, and give tons of xp (but they can kill you very quickly if you subestimate them). Also, they have a 3% chance of dropping the Mystical Stick, Lucas’ equivalent of the “legendary” gear like Garret’s Mystical Boots. Since I need a pretty high level for the following section I decided to grind these fuckers until the party reaches level 55 (getting the Mystical Stick in the process, cool).
At last, the dungeon’s exit (I had been grinding for nearly half an hour here for the damned Mystical Stick).
To the north there’s a temple but it’s impossible to enter.
Here’s the Magypsy lair.
Asuka. I’ve watched you since you were very little, but this is the prettiest you’ve ever been now. You’re absolutely FABULOUS. I know you might say, ‘Cut that crap out!’… But it’s the truth. *giggle* By the by, what’s in that jar you have there? It looks easy-to-drop and easy-to-roll. (Handed over the Jar). Oooh! FABULOUS! My absolute favorite! Yummy Pickles! You brought them all the way here for me? Thank you! These pickles will be the last thing I eat before I vanish… I’m going to really enjoy them. You don’t need to say anything. I understand. Five Needles have been pulled now.
Aeolia, Doria, Lydia, Phrygia, and Mixy… They’ve all disappeared, now that ‘the time’ has come… And now it’s my turn. That leaves only my Needle in Chupichupyoi Temple, and the one missing Needle… Now, adorable little Lucas, go to Chipichupyoi Temple. The temple is covered in vines frozen in time. You can’t get inside with them as they are. You’ll need to sprinkle these ‘Waters of Time’ on them (this may or may not be a joke to the Prince of Persia Sands of Faggotry series)."
We rest to heal our wounds, now onward to our victory!
A Franklin Badge? How could Clint have that? Is he’s Ness’ descendant (or an aged Ness)? These are questions that the game will leave up to interpretation.
The jewgolem continuously charges trying to break the vines with little success.
The Commander is so EXTREME that he throws a bomb to the barrier, the vines are unharmed but the golem is destroyed.
The pigmen spots the party and charges. The Colonel is an elite pigsoldier, for being a weak human he’s formidable (and starts with anti-physical attacks Barrier). Should the pigarmy had send them when Lucas started pulling the Needles they could destroy the party, alas it’s too late for them now. The Colonel is very vulnerable to Wall Staples (blame his cape), but I did not bother, I used Lucas’ strongest BROFORCE power and the bloom pwned them on a single turn.
Then, the commander uses his telepathic powers to order the soldiers to GTFO, he wants to deal with the party personally
The pigmen retreated after the Commander’s cyber-ass was properly kicked, so we’ll do what we have to do.
Using the magical Waters, the vines quickly flourish, wither and die.
Lastly but not least, here’s the end of this chapter
And that’s it. Who could be this last Magypsy? What will happen when all of the Needles are pulled? What will the Pigarmy do to stop us from succeeding? All of these questions will be replied on the next updates, only one Needle remains, we’re finally at the endgame gentlemen, only 3 or 2 updates remain. The end is nigh!
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update this weekend, if possible. Also, CURSE YOU SMT: STRANGE JOURNEY!!! Just when I thought the series were worth of not wasting my attention after the horrible shit that was Derpsona 4, then I found that little, awesome and addictive game. Is Devil Survivor as good?
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2007
- Messages
- 11,158
Have you actually managed to finish any of the SMT games ? During the end ALL of them have bigger and bigger dungeons with more and more enemies and I always stop at some point. The only one I've managed to finish is SMT1 and it took some effort to do so.
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
For now I managed to finish the Digital Devil Saga series, these are easier than the rest and that's the point, the games are to welcome beginners to Atlus' rpgs and mindfuckery and thus it doesn't have as many "lol FUCK YOU SURPRISE INSTANT DEATH!" moments as let's say Nocturne but they're still here; it also doesn't have multiple endings 
Then I tried Persona 4 but either I dislike the dating sim parts or I'm too old to care anymore for wangsty tenageers, the point is that I could not play it more than a few hours. For now I'm playing Strange Journey (that's a dungeon crawling like the first two SMT) and Devil Survivor (so hardcore that my entire party was killed in a random encounter due a minor mistake I accidentally made).
Then I tried Persona 4 but either I dislike the dating sim parts or I'm too old to care anymore for wangsty tenageers, the point is that I could not play it more than a few hours. For now I'm playing Strange Journey (that's a dungeon crawling like the first two SMT) and Devil Survivor (so hardcore that my entire party was killed in a random encounter due a minor mistake I accidentally made).
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Update 18: The End of Earthbound, 1: Was Cleve right?
Let’s continue the show. Chapter 8 (the final chapter, oh my pork!)’s intro here, as usual: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xmn0pL17yg
Guy: ”You’re here to destroy New Pork City, aren’t you?”
Luckily for us this retard has the initiative of a consoletard, he will do nothing to stop us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWbTkl_XJkg
But is not real freedom if someone is the one giving… Bah, why I bother if he’s another weakling, mindless, retarded slave of the Porkarmy. Also, now that Lucas is finally here we’ll meet all of the Tazmily villagers that were “encouraged” to come here.
The city, despite being impressive at first glance, on a closer inspection you notice everything is made of shitty cardboard (like Fallout 3 lol).
Bateau: “I figured there’d be something for me if I came, but now I dunno. I’m not really sure… Do you feel the same way, Lucas?”
Mike: “Did you follow me here for some of my slightly unclean and not very tasty cookies? Because I don’t make those anymore. Have you forgotten?”
Didn’t you already have the “rights” to do all of that, you retard?
Butch: “I was just talking about old times with Isaac. He’s an important guy nowadays, you know.”
Isaac: “Oh, it’s me! Isaac! I’m a big shot now. But, Lucas. I didn’t know you were anyone special! If you do anything to defy Master Porky… then you and me’ll be enemies!”
Isaac continues to be an asshole as always and he still dares to threatens us, his “porkassimilation” is complete. Great, that means we could have a chance to kill him
.
Guy: “Maybe I should just blow this popsicle stand.”
Researcher: “I’d love to study them to find out even more, but… they’re just so stinky!”
Woman: “We’re showing a wonderful adventure movie personally selected by Master Porky himself! But apparently a stinkbug has snuck inside and stunk up the place.”
This city has lots of lots of throwbacks to Earthbound, starting with the theater: http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=SLnW6A6 ... re=related
Strangely enough it lacks the parts where he has his ass kicked as Ness and co destroyed Gygas, I wonder why.
This city has lots of interesting items to buy, however the catch here is that EVERYTHING is overpriced, shouldn’t I grinded to gain a few levels and some extra money, I would be broke before buying half of the stuff here. Just to show off how much of the detail the developers included on this game, the “fake” weapons are a curious easter-egg: they’re absolutely shitty weapons but when used in combat they change Lucas and Kumatora’s “battle sounds” to the ones that a frying pan and a bat would do when they hit something (but I still will not buy them, I don’t need any new weapon for now, and the Awesome Crown is better than the Red Hat, so I only buy some food items, the Angel Ribbon for Asuka, and the Red Hat for Ghostdog).
Caroline: ”Whenever you’re not really sure what to do, the theater’s the best place to go! Yep!”
Angie: “I guess everyone from Tazmily is here now. Eeeeeveryone.”
Man: “What in the world you guys do?! Your guy’s leader is locked up in an apartment building underground. Huh? You don’t know nothin’ about no leader? But your leader wants to see you. Here I am, puttin’ myself at risk to tell you this, and you honestly don’t know the guy? I see. In that case, maybe you’re supposed to meet him without knowin’ who he is. Anyways, that’s all I can tell ya.”
Leader? Who, the Mayor? If one thing was certain on Tazmily village was a total lack of unity, coordination and competence, everyone did whatever the hell they wanted regardless of the situation.
Woman: “Absolutely unbelievable. So THAT’S why this theater stinks to high heaven. It even looks like stinkbugs use it to come and go as they please!”
”but he’s actually a figure made out of clay and dough. It’s well-crafted.”
”but he’s actually just a figure made out of clay and dough, holding a bucket. You get the feeling you’ve seen it somewhere before.”
We’ll get back here later, for now we continue exploring the city.
”but you should buy some of the sophisticated goods that New Pork has to offer!”
Gross-tastic! :shock:
Lady: ”I head from Master Porky that you would be coming here. He says you’re quite strong. In one way or another…”
Unfortunately Lucas is a minor withsome LOTS of repressed issues, so nothing more will happen.
Man: ”In fact, go have a look around at everything. They say the DCMC are gonna have a concert in this city. I guess in that way, this city might not be half as bad at all.”
Woman: “I can’t tell if it’s kiddie-like, creepy, disgusting, flashy or what…”
All of the above, I can tell you.
I buy one Super Bomb for Garret, it will be come in handy.
Man: “More specifically, it’s supposedly the divine protector of this city. I also hear some morons somewhere picked a fight with it and wound up in a world of hurt.”
I’ll comment about this line in the next update, this may or may not be another reference to Earthbound.
”Here stands a statue of our great leader, Master Porky.”
I'll reserve my opinion about this moron.
Abbey: “Even if the world was a four-chapter story, I’d spend all four of those chapters with him.”
Abbot: “I’d say we’re at the start of the 15th chapter, out of 16 total.”
You both are wrong, we’re on the last episode, so your deaths could be close.
”Don’t dare touch it you’re your filthy, sticky fingers! If you’d be so kind. *smile*”
Totally not suspicious at all, no.
This lonely vendor machine sells some really useful stuff compared with the overprized crap of the other shops.
Sadly our weapons are still better than these so I only buy 3 Heavy Charms, one Kite Bandana and a Bracelet for everyone but Ghostdog.
Jill: “This really brings back memories. *giggle*”
Matt: “I hear that you say rude stuff about me, like that I’m a drunk and that I’m a boozehound. What’re you talkin’ ‘bout? *hic* I’m just a middle-aged guy with hiccups!”
You’re a sad, poor, delusional, drunk motherfucker.
Richie: “He’s the person who built this city!”
It’s called mind-control/ evil influence.
Hey! These were in Earthbound too! Why there are so many Earthbound cameos? Everything will be explained by the end of this update.
I got nothing after a few tries so I ditch them and continue exploring.
Betsy: “are robots built to look like the mother of some really important person.”
Dona: ”The lion-ness gushing forth from it! The mask-ness dripping from it! And the nose hair-ness! And the archaicness…? It’s so magnificent it’s positively frighting!”
Bob: ”She’s been stuck to this spot for what seems forever now.”
If that’s art then I’m the goddamn Batman, the bitch is insane and that’s it.
Jackie: “I was just talking business with this tiny fellow here. I’m not really sure what I should do, though…”
Mole Cricket: ”I feel the time is finally ripe for us mole crickets to try our luck in the big city, you see. Are you an acquaintance of Jackie’s, by any chance? Could you ask him if he’d willing to partner with us mole crickets to strike it rich? *twinkle*”
Linda: “Let’s go have a look!”
Now I’ll start investigating the buildings that are accessible, starting with the Beauty & Tasty restaurant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj738ICGBy4
WHAT. THE. HELL??? Don’t tell me that Porky really made all of these robots resembling his mother (the father is nowhere to be seen). Disturbing.
”Omelets Bowl, Omelets Curry, Omelets Fried Rice, Omelets Egg Soup, Meh Salad with Omelets Topping, Omelets Lunch, Omelets Combo, Omelets Set, Jumbo Omelets, Omelets Parfait, Omelets Juice, Omelets Special”
Freud would like to have a long, intense talk with Porky if he had the chance.
Because the party’s pockets were too full I bought nothing of this crap (besides I have Lucas for when I need healing).
”That’s this restaurant’s… rule.”
This restaurant is unhealthy as hell.
Next, the “Pork Tower.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jru55_PGA7Q
Same as before.
Woman: “This is the Empire Porky Building, home of the great Master Porky.”
Brenda: ”Please, don’t cause us any more trouble.”
Jonel: “Is Clint still out looking for his missing son? IF only he’d come to me for serious help, we might’ve been able to find him… He’s an awkward fellow, that father of yours.”
Says a complete egoistical bastard.
This line perhaps is a reference to the “Don’t stare at my hips” one of Earthbound.
Man: “He must be amazing to build a city like this.”
Huh, in that case we’ll have to do something first before being able to explore this building (fun fact: I like how absolutely EVERYTHING here is labes as "Porky-related", even the music).
The building’s east wing contains a Hot Spring and that’s all. Time to explore the arcade: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DAn9YdtUKY
Thomas: “And don’t you dare try to ram into me!”
You mean like this?
Thomas: “Ugh. Now I gotta start ALL over again… *grumble*”
If you do Lucas starts playing. Despite the game it’s not shown I can deduce that it must be some sort of Space Invader clone, he plays for a while until this message is shown.
Oops, I forgot, we have to go back to the theater to continue.
Guy: “but you gotta go through the sewers to get there. As the name suggests, the place is empty. No one lives there at all. UçIt’s now a breeding ground for violent attack roaches, stinkbugs, rats, and stuff. So you could probably you’re your way there by following a stinkbug or something.
And that’s what we do: As this guy says, you must search for the stinkbug by examining every seat until you find the one where the bug is hiding, like this:
The bug, feeling threatened, runs away but Ghostdog chases after it.
To enter the sewers you have to go to the arcade and talk to the guy that complained about the air.
Guy: “I think it’s somewhere right below us. I can’t go check it out, though. The reason being that I’m afraid of dogs. Seriously, their noses are wet, they wag their tails, they lick people’s faces… Gwah, I TOTALLY can’t handle that. So could you go look for the dog instead? Really?! You must like dogs then. So you’ll go look for me? Okay, I’ll open this heavy cover. I’m putting myself at major risk, though.”
As Asuka says you’ll hear Ghostdog barking until you find him (at the other side of this dungeon, that is).
The sewers are overpopulated with hyper-aggressive vermin like this thing, it’s surprisingly powerful but gives tons of xp.
This is a throwback to Earthbound but here it received an upgrade: it can provoke the “Nausea” ailment to one party member and throw poisonous spores that hit the entire party (these can provoke the “poison” ailment, of course). To compensate it gives you like more than 3000 experience points, making these enemies worthy of grinding if you wanted to.
As ANOTHER reference to Earthbound the gifts here are disguised as thrash cans. The left and the middle one contain one Magic Pudding and one Saltwater gun, while the right thrashcan is instead a disguised monster.
Yep, even this “sewer dungeon” has a hot spring. Don’t ask.
A mole-cricket vendor is located here, that means that trouble is incoming (like a boss fight).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wsNJ9K9ROw
Damn, that’s really a shitty apartment, so much that none of the rooms here can be entered.
Hey, that’s Leder! What the hell is he doing here? How did he managed to come here, to start?
Well gentlemen, it’s video time, and I warn you that this one contains ground-breaking, mind-shattering revelations:
So Cleve really was right after all, and even worse than expected.
Ugh, that was really awful, painful truth. I wonder how Lucas and co can stomach it.
”Wow, that explains many things. First, according to their ages (and the Osohe castle’s ghosts) Hinawa was the first one of the Tazmily Village to die, all of the other graves were already here (that doesn’t explain the zombie part though). Second, the reason why all of the villagers are inane, self-centered jerks is due their strict programming, randomly distributing several, cliché roles (explaining how a powerful necromancer ended as a random gravedigger, why all of them were kinda off, and why most of the villagers were so different, they were never related).
Man, it’s depressing that a village of like 30 persons that are totally incompetent is all that remains of the human race, they were pretty desperate (or spineless) if they ignored the alternatives (like building a space ship to discover a new hospitable planet, a mass clonation or even freeze themselves with cryostasis until the shit was over), decided to blame technology for their fault and then to waste what remains of Humanity with a massive LARP experiment (even worse, it would require a single catastrophe like a fire, expending the natural resources or the population starting to inbreed and degenerate to destroy Humanity). What kind of inane luddite would do that?
So Mother 3 was a post-apocalyptic game after all, I blame the sheeple for allowing the world to be destroyed… Wait a minute, if the world was still destroyed anyways in my generation or several later, that means that I defeated Gygas for nothing, that I WASTED SIXTH MONTHS OF MY LIFE BEING IN CONSTANT DANGER AND RISKING MY LIFE IN VAIN!!! FUCKING RETARDS ASSHOLES!!! I HAD NOTHING TO OFFER THAN BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS FOR NOTHING AT ALL? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! ”
” Hey, will you stop whining? At least you got a sequel, I’m condemned to be forgotten and cast into Oblivion until someone decides is time to rape another license and do a remake, a new trilogy of… How do they call it… Ah, yes: A trilogy of ‘epic, stream-lined, emotionally engaging, cinematic, multi-console games’ (add or take more buzzwords). That would translate as another Gears of War clone with popamole cover, regenerating health, the protagonist as an over-used, copy-pasted overmuscled freak, a grey/dark filter as the only “acceptable” color, the psychic powers being a gimmick instead of a major feature and a gameplay ratio of 5 minutes of cutscenes for every 30 seconds of actual playing.
Also, since the game has psychic powers that minimally alters the gameplay it would be considered a rpg, and for this reason there would be a retard that would blame ME for stealing Bioshock, goddamit! Then the second game would be even more dumbed down with less features and more grey color, and so on.”
”I think you’re exage...”
” Really? No I’m not, look at what they did to Harry Potter. LOOK AT IT. It started as a series of adventure/action games and it degenerated into another, poorly disguised GoW mod. At least, in your case, since you’re from a japanese game that will not happen; instead, it’s possible that for Final Fantasy XX they’ll steal every of your unique elements, add thirty tons of faggotry and anime-hair and call it as their own, in other words a fate nearly as horrible as mine now that I think about it. Nowadays gaming is dea…“
Will you stop ranting? Let’s return to the game, we still have stuff to do. For example, before exiting the sewers I grind for 10 minutes until Lucas and Asuka learn Refresh and PK Ground respectively, the best of their powers.
Refresh regenerates up to the 10% of all conscious party members’ hitpoints per turn for the duration of five turns, preventing them being knocked down thanks to the hp meter rolling system as long as the power works. PK Ground is an overpower psychic attack that hits FIVE times every enemy, ignores shields and can force an enemy to stumble and fall to the ground (wasting one turn to get up). It’s the equivalent of the broken Bottle Rocket battle items but even easier to use (the only drawback is that flying enemies are unaffected). Lastly but not least, I’ll finish this update with a video:
Our favorite reconstructed enhanced enhanced sandnigger villain is back! This time he’ll fight to death!
So that’s Fassad’s demise, to drown in the residual waters as he’s covered with shit. I say that’s a fitting ending. And that’s all for now, only two updates remain for the endgame...
Let’s continue the show. Chapter 8 (the final chapter, oh my pork!)’s intro here, as usual: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xmn0pL17yg
Guy: ”You’re here to destroy New Pork City, aren’t you?”
Luckily for us this retard has the initiative of a consoletard, he will do nothing to stop us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWbTkl_XJkg
But is not real freedom if someone is the one giving… Bah, why I bother if he’s another weakling, mindless, retarded slave of the Porkarmy. Also, now that Lucas is finally here we’ll meet all of the Tazmily villagers that were “encouraged” to come here.
The city, despite being impressive at first glance, on a closer inspection you notice everything is made of shitty cardboard (like Fallout 3 lol).
Bateau: “I figured there’d be something for me if I came, but now I dunno. I’m not really sure… Do you feel the same way, Lucas?”
Mike: “Did you follow me here for some of my slightly unclean and not very tasty cookies? Because I don’t make those anymore. Have you forgotten?”
Didn’t you already have the “rights” to do all of that, you retard?
Butch: “I was just talking about old times with Isaac. He’s an important guy nowadays, you know.”
Isaac: “Oh, it’s me! Isaac! I’m a big shot now. But, Lucas. I didn’t know you were anyone special! If you do anything to defy Master Porky… then you and me’ll be enemies!”
Isaac continues to be an asshole as always and he still dares to threatens us, his “porkassimilation” is complete. Great, that means we could have a chance to kill him
(sadly we don’t)
Guy: “Maybe I should just blow this popsicle stand.”
Researcher: “I’d love to study them to find out even more, but… they’re just so stinky!”
Woman: “We’re showing a wonderful adventure movie personally selected by Master Porky himself! But apparently a stinkbug has snuck inside and stunk up the place.”
This city has lots of lots of throwbacks to Earthbound, starting with the theater: http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=SLnW6A6 ... re=related
Strangely enough it lacks the parts where he has his ass kicked as Ness and co destroyed Gygas, I wonder why.
This city has lots of interesting items to buy, however the catch here is that EVERYTHING is overpriced, shouldn’t I grinded to gain a few levels and some extra money, I would be broke before buying half of the stuff here. Just to show off how much of the detail the developers included on this game, the “fake” weapons are a curious easter-egg: they’re absolutely shitty weapons but when used in combat they change Lucas and Kumatora’s “battle sounds” to the ones that a frying pan and a bat would do when they hit something (but I still will not buy them, I don’t need any new weapon for now, and the Awesome Crown is better than the Red Hat, so I only buy some food items, the Angel Ribbon for Asuka, and the Red Hat for Ghostdog).
Caroline: ”Whenever you’re not really sure what to do, the theater’s the best place to go! Yep!”
Angie: “I guess everyone from Tazmily is here now. Eeeeeveryone.”
Man: “What in the world you guys do?! Your guy’s leader is locked up in an apartment building underground. Huh? You don’t know nothin’ about no leader? But your leader wants to see you. Here I am, puttin’ myself at risk to tell you this, and you honestly don’t know the guy? I see. In that case, maybe you’re supposed to meet him without knowin’ who he is. Anyways, that’s all I can tell ya.”
Leader? Who, the Mayor? If one thing was certain on Tazmily village was a total lack of unity, coordination and competence, everyone did whatever the hell they wanted regardless of the situation.
Woman: “Absolutely unbelievable. So THAT’S why this theater stinks to high heaven. It even looks like stinkbugs use it to come and go as they please!”
We’ll get back here later, for now we continue exploring the city.
Gross-tastic! :shock:
Lady: ”I head from Master Porky that you would be coming here. He says you’re quite strong. In one way or another…”
Unfortunately Lucas is a minor with
Man: ”In fact, go have a look around at everything. They say the DCMC are gonna have a concert in this city. I guess in that way, this city might not be half as bad at all.”
Woman: “I can’t tell if it’s kiddie-like, creepy, disgusting, flashy or what…”
All of the above, I can tell you.
I buy one Super Bomb for Garret, it will be come in handy.
Man: “More specifically, it’s supposedly the divine protector of this city. I also hear some morons somewhere picked a fight with it and wound up in a world of hurt.”
I’ll comment about this line in the next update, this may or may not be another reference to Earthbound.
I'll reserve my opinion about this moron.
Abbey: “Even if the world was a four-chapter story, I’d spend all four of those chapters with him.”
Abbot: “I’d say we’re at the start of the 15th chapter, out of 16 total.”
You both are wrong, we’re on the last episode, so your deaths could be close.
Totally not suspicious at all, no.
This lonely vendor machine sells some really useful stuff compared with the overprized crap of the other shops.
Sadly our weapons are still better than these so I only buy 3 Heavy Charms, one Kite Bandana and a Bracelet for everyone but Ghostdog.
Jill: “This really brings back memories. *giggle*”
Matt: “I hear that you say rude stuff about me, like that I’m a drunk and that I’m a boozehound. What’re you talkin’ ‘bout? *hic* I’m just a middle-aged guy with hiccups!”
You’re a sad, poor, delusional, drunk motherfucker.
Richie: “He’s the person who built this city!”
It’s called mind-control/ evil influence.
Hey! These were in Earthbound too! Why there are so many Earthbound cameos? Everything will be explained by the end of this update.
I got nothing after a few tries so I ditch them and continue exploring.
Betsy: “are robots built to look like the mother of some really important person.”
Dona: ”The lion-ness gushing forth from it! The mask-ness dripping from it! And the nose hair-ness! And the archaicness…? It’s so magnificent it’s positively frighting!”
Bob: ”She’s been stuck to this spot for what seems forever now.”
If that’s art then I’m the goddamn Batman, the bitch is insane and that’s it.
Jackie: “I was just talking business with this tiny fellow here. I’m not really sure what I should do, though…”
Mole Cricket: ”I feel the time is finally ripe for us mole crickets to try our luck in the big city, you see. Are you an acquaintance of Jackie’s, by any chance? Could you ask him if he’d willing to partner with us mole crickets to strike it rich? *twinkle*”
Linda: “Let’s go have a look!”
Now I’ll start investigating the buildings that are accessible, starting with the Beauty & Tasty restaurant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj738ICGBy4
WHAT. THE. HELL??? Don’t tell me that Porky really made all of these robots resembling his mother (the father is nowhere to be seen). Disturbing.
Freud would like to have a long, intense talk with Porky if he had the chance.
Because the party’s pockets were too full I bought nothing of this crap (besides I have Lucas for when I need healing).
This restaurant is unhealthy as hell.
Next, the “Pork Tower.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jru55_PGA7Q
Same as before.
Woman: “This is the Empire Porky Building, home of the great Master Porky.”
Brenda: ”Please, don’t cause us any more trouble.”
Jonel: “Is Clint still out looking for his missing son? IF only he’d come to me for serious help, we might’ve been able to find him… He’s an awkward fellow, that father of yours.”
Says a complete egoistical bastard.
This line perhaps is a reference to the “Don’t stare at my hips” one of Earthbound.
Man: “He must be amazing to build a city like this.”
Huh, in that case we’ll have to do something first before being able to explore this building (fun fact: I like how absolutely EVERYTHING here is labes as "Porky-related", even the music).
The building’s east wing contains a Hot Spring and that’s all. Time to explore the arcade: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DAn9YdtUKY
Thomas: “And don’t you dare try to ram into me!”
You mean like this?
Thomas: “Ugh. Now I gotta start ALL over again… *grumble*”
If you do Lucas starts playing. Despite the game it’s not shown I can deduce that it must be some sort of Space Invader clone, he plays for a while until this message is shown.
Oops, I forgot, we have to go back to the theater to continue.
Guy: “but you gotta go through the sewers to get there. As the name suggests, the place is empty. No one lives there at all. UçIt’s now a breeding ground for violent attack roaches, stinkbugs, rats, and stuff. So you could probably you’re your way there by following a stinkbug or something.
And that’s what we do: As this guy says, you must search for the stinkbug by examining every seat until you find the one where the bug is hiding, like this:
The bug, feeling threatened, runs away but Ghostdog chases after it.
To enter the sewers you have to go to the arcade and talk to the guy that complained about the air.
Guy: “I think it’s somewhere right below us. I can’t go check it out, though. The reason being that I’m afraid of dogs. Seriously, their noses are wet, they wag their tails, they lick people’s faces… Gwah, I TOTALLY can’t handle that. So could you go look for the dog instead? Really?! You must like dogs then. So you’ll go look for me? Okay, I’ll open this heavy cover. I’m putting myself at major risk, though.”
As Asuka says you’ll hear Ghostdog barking until you find him (at the other side of this dungeon, that is).
The sewers are overpopulated with hyper-aggressive vermin like this thing, it’s surprisingly powerful but gives tons of xp.
This is a throwback to Earthbound but here it received an upgrade: it can provoke the “Nausea” ailment to one party member and throw poisonous spores that hit the entire party (these can provoke the “poison” ailment, of course). To compensate it gives you like more than 3000 experience points, making these enemies worthy of grinding if you wanted to.
As ANOTHER reference to Earthbound the gifts here are disguised as thrash cans. The left and the middle one contain one Magic Pudding and one Saltwater gun, while the right thrashcan is instead a disguised monster.
Yep, even this “sewer dungeon” has a hot spring. Don’t ask.
A mole-cricket vendor is located here, that means that trouble is incoming (like a boss fight).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wsNJ9K9ROw
Damn, that’s really a shitty apartment, so much that none of the rooms here can be entered.
Hey, that’s Leder! What the hell is he doing here? How did he managed to come here, to start?
Well gentlemen, it’s video time, and I warn you that this one contains ground-breaking, mind-shattering revelations:
So Cleve really was right after all, and even worse than expected.
Ugh, that was really awful, painful truth. I wonder how Lucas and co can stomach it.
Man, it’s depressing that a village of like 30 persons that are totally incompetent is all that remains of the human race, they were pretty desperate (or spineless) if they ignored the alternatives (like building a space ship to discover a new hospitable planet, a mass clonation or even freeze themselves with cryostasis until the shit was over), decided to blame technology for their fault and then to waste what remains of Humanity with a massive LARP experiment (even worse, it would require a single catastrophe like a fire, expending the natural resources or the population starting to inbreed and degenerate to destroy Humanity). What kind of inane luddite would do that?
So Mother 3 was a post-apocalyptic game after all, I blame the sheeple for allowing the world to be destroyed… Wait a minute, if the world was still destroyed anyways in my generation or several later, that means that I defeated Gygas for nothing, that I WASTED SIXTH MONTHS OF MY LIFE BEING IN CONSTANT DANGER AND RISKING MY LIFE IN VAIN!!! FUCKING RETARDS ASSHOLES!!! I HAD NOTHING TO OFFER THAN BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS FOR NOTHING AT ALL? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! ”
Also, since the game has psychic powers that minimally alters the gameplay it would be considered a rpg, and for this reason there would be a retard that would blame ME for stealing Bioshock, goddamit! Then the second game would be even more dumbed down with less features and more grey color, and so on.”
Will you stop ranting? Let’s return to the game, we still have stuff to do. For example, before exiting the sewers I grind for 10 minutes until Lucas and Asuka learn Refresh and PK Ground respectively, the best of their powers.
Refresh regenerates up to the 10% of all conscious party members’ hitpoints per turn for the duration of five turns, preventing them being knocked down thanks to the hp meter rolling system as long as the power works. PK Ground is an overpower psychic attack that hits FIVE times every enemy, ignores shields and can force an enemy to stumble and fall to the ground (wasting one turn to get up). It’s the equivalent of the broken Bottle Rocket battle items but even easier to use (the only drawback is that flying enemies are unaffected). Lastly but not least, I’ll finish this update with a video:
Our favorite reconstructed enhanced enhanced sandnigger villain is back! This time he’ll fight to death!
So that’s Fassad’s demise, to drown in the residual waters as he’s covered with shit. I say that’s a fitting ending. And that’s all for now, only two updates remain for the endgame...
lightbane
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 10,559
Part 1, continues on the next page
Update 19: The End of Earthbound, 2: Porky’s inanity
Guy: “Geez, get your act together, you moron! Girls, you see, like guys they can count on. Do you got what it takes to be like that? You idiot! Think about it on your own! Think if you have what it takes or not. C’mon! Quit it! Stop asking me questions! I told you, think about it on your own! Inside your head!”
*insert random Rance’s comment here*
For some reason, while we were busy investigating the sewers and defeating Fassad more peoplewere kidnapped voluntarily decided to come to this city (including pretty much everyone that still was at Tazmily), but most of the unnamed npcs here seems to be braindead morons babbling random words. I suspect consoletards or mass brainwashing.
Lighter: “Even I was tricked into coming here. Is Clint here too…?”
Nan: “There are other people who prefer to party non-stop, though.”
Alle: “but all these creepy guys were basically glued to their machines and wouldn’t give me a turn.”
Researcher: “Don’t worry, they don’t fight. Or bite. I wonder how they wound up like this.”
Perhaps one of the scientists actually felt pity for the animals they were to butcher and tried his best so that the modifications were as little painful as possible. Or they were lobotomized.
Some of the paths are blocked by a mass of these babbling retards, forcing you to zig-zag if you want to go to the Porky’s Tower.
Nana: “but they should be fixed pretty soon now if all goes according to schedule. I’m waiting for the elevators to get fixed so I can use the upstairs bathroom.”
Oh, it’s nothing, he just learned that all of his life was a lie and that humanity was doomed from the start, nothing serious at all.
Worry not, after we’re done either everyone will be gone for good or there will be lots of pigmask corpses to take care of.
Rope Snake: “You’re so cold-hearted. It’s me! It’s me! I used to be known as the Rope Snake. Don’t tell me you forgot! Well, I haven’t forgotten. I’m really close to becoming a behemoth of a snake now. I’ll be a monster of a snake, and you guys’ll be you guys. Together, we’ll be an unstoppable force! Just you wait. It won’t be long dear friends! Hey! Are you even listening to me?! Anyways, first, have a good new year!”
Rope Snake is still butthurt and in denial. Fun fact: one of the scrapped enemies in Mother 3 was Rope Snake itself, apparently at one moment or another he would attack the party for some reason (perhaps the cowardly snake blamed the party for his own incompetence) and you would be forced to fight him to death (or until he surrenders, whatever happened first).
This guy is Mother 3‘s optional, secret super-boss that will stomp your party and crush you to little pieces no matter what level you have. It’s here for all of these masochists players that want to grind for endless hours to beat an unstoppable foe just to brag about it (it’s so powerful that even with cheats it’s impossible to beat it). However, for those that are not so insane you can instantly one-hit kill him with a New Year’s Eve Bomb. If you want to see how powerful this abomination is, check this video, otherwise, let’s continue.
Pusher: “I’ve come here to study up on Master Porky, our great leader.”
Elbitch: “and make life so much easier for us. Ohohohohoho!”
Ollie: “You should cheer up, too! I know! Let’s be depressed together!”
Lucas may be a boy with a depressing past, but he’s not emo, so fuck-off.
Pigmask: “I’ve never actually seen them before, even though I worked at the factory right next to Titiboo for such a long time.”
Guy: “This elevator broke, so I rushed to fix it. For some reason, it wouldn’t stop at the concert hall on the 24th floor anymore. But it works fine now. Wait a minute. You weren’t thinking of going to the 100th floor, were you? Then I apologize, the repairs I just made allow the elevator to stop at the 24th floor concert hall only. So please, just take it to the 24th floor. Please! Really, I think that would be for the best.”
While the party is waiting for the elevator to arrive to the 24th floor this guy starts moving closer to Garret with some dubious intentions.
Guy: “Sweet! Lucky’s back! That incredible bass line is finally back! Let’s go, Mr. Lucky! Let’s go!”
Lucas is once more dragged away by the same guy that prevented Lucas of committing suicide during the beginning of chapter 4.
Man: “You’re not in danger this time, though. Are you here to see the concert? I’m sure it’ll be great.”
Policeman: “I have this intense desire to arrest you for some reason. I’ll ignore it, though.”
Pork Trooper: “Oh. It’s you guys… Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do nothin’, though. Let’s just enjoy the concert together as fellow DCMC fans!”
:brofist:
Shimmy: “but with you here, it’s gonna be like… Wow!”
Shimmy: “A great, undefiable power has prepared a festival for the end of all life…”
Baccio: “Why’s that, you ask? ‘Cause we’re so drunk on our music that he can’t fool us with his nonsensical crap!”
This will be the last time that the DCMC will be seen in action, a shame.
Pigmask: “I wonder who it was. I’d be funny if it was you guys, huh? Hahaha!”
Pork trooper: “We DCMC fans oughta catch ‘em ourselves and make ‘em pay! GRRRR!!!”
The Pork trooper here is too angry to realize he’s talking about Lucas and co, otherwise he would tear them to shreds. Let’s move on before he does.
Man: “I almost tried to stop you again for some reason. Stopping people must be in my genes or something.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYhrWxyOxxA
Prepare yourselves gentlemen, the “fun” starts…
Guy: “Here, you can swim with Hippo Launchers, gaze at Hippo Lanchers and observe them eating. You can even fight them! That’s dangerous though.”
This level is one of the recycled parts of Earthbound 64 while it still was in development.
”Hippopotami that have been fancied-up and equipped with powerful missiles. Incredibly popular, even among women and senior citizens.
The Hippo Launchers are not hostile until you interact with them (but my inner powergamer demands all of the xp I can muster), they’re somewhat challenging enemies that can deal lots of damage… But our party is much stronger than them (and has PSI).
After cleansing some of these heretic abominations one of the Hippo Launchers drop this, a wonderful piece of gear that Lucas immediately equips.
Hippo Researcher: “I’ll beat you up good! Go! Go! Get ‘em, my Hippo Launcher!”
This is the only Hippo Launcher you actually need to fight to complete the game, but it’s not very hard to defeat.
The Researcher escapes after whining a bit more, allowing us to loot something…
That’s Garret’s best non-Mystical weapon, so powerful that I decided to toss his Mystical Shoes and give him these.
*slowly backs away*
”Some idiots have been seen pretending to be sea monkeys in the middle of a pond. Wahahaha! I’m talking about you guys! Getting all covered in mud so you can fight for your lives… It’s all so ridiculous *snicker* Alright then. Get on the next elevator. I think I’m gonna sit back and watch even more of your stupidity in action. Come on! Don’t give up! You’re so close to the real 100th floor now! Ahahahaha!”
Get used to this screenshot, Porky is a masterful troll who will not only troll the party but the player too, everytime you believe you reached the 100th floor just to discover it really wasn't, and there are worse things to come.
The next floor doesn’t have random encounters and is very short.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jISrQF44_ww
Woman: “Can you guys hold your hands to your chest and say from the bottom of your heart, “I love you, Master Porky”? No? Then quit lurking around and get out of here.”
“THIS HAREM SUCKS!!! HARD!!!” /Rance
It will be better to not ask why this machine is here.
“The detestable Lucas and his pals appear to be lost in Master Porky’s fan room. Hehehehe. Attention, Lucas and friends! Come to the real 100th floor immediately, if you dare!”
The next floor is another dungeon, and perhaps the strangest one of the game (and possibly of the entire jrpg’s genre): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr-TJTK2XmY
It consists of several bathrooms. One of these doors allows you to advance to the next part of this dungeon, the rest of the doors can have some gifts to loot, random enemies and the occasional unexplainable inanity.
This one is inaccessible, but the last door to the left allows to move on to another hall with even more bathrooms.
Update 19: The End of Earthbound, 2: Porky’s inanity
Guy: “Geez, get your act together, you moron! Girls, you see, like guys they can count on. Do you got what it takes to be like that? You idiot! Think about it on your own! Think if you have what it takes or not. C’mon! Quit it! Stop asking me questions! I told you, think about it on your own! Inside your head!”
*insert random Rance’s comment here*
For some reason, while we were busy investigating the sewers and defeating Fassad more people
Lighter: “Even I was tricked into coming here. Is Clint here too…?”
Nan: “There are other people who prefer to party non-stop, though.”
Alle: “but all these creepy guys were basically glued to their machines and wouldn’t give me a turn.”
Researcher: “Don’t worry, they don’t fight. Or bite. I wonder how they wound up like this.”
Perhaps one of the scientists actually felt pity for the animals they were to butcher and tried his best so that the modifications were as little painful as possible. Or they were lobotomized.
Some of the paths are blocked by a mass of these babbling retards, forcing you to zig-zag if you want to go to the Porky’s Tower.
Nana: “but they should be fixed pretty soon now if all goes according to schedule. I’m waiting for the elevators to get fixed so I can use the upstairs bathroom.”
Oh, it’s nothing, he just learned that all of his life was a lie and that humanity was doomed from the start, nothing serious at all.
Worry not, after we’re done either everyone will be gone for good or there will be lots of pigmask corpses to take care of.
Rope Snake: “You’re so cold-hearted. It’s me! It’s me! I used to be known as the Rope Snake. Don’t tell me you forgot! Well, I haven’t forgotten. I’m really close to becoming a behemoth of a snake now. I’ll be a monster of a snake, and you guys’ll be you guys. Together, we’ll be an unstoppable force! Just you wait. It won’t be long dear friends! Hey! Are you even listening to me?! Anyways, first, have a good new year!”
Rope Snake is still butthurt and in denial. Fun fact: one of the scrapped enemies in Mother 3 was Rope Snake itself, apparently at one moment or another he would attack the party for some reason (perhaps the cowardly snake blamed the party for his own incompetence) and you would be forced to fight him to death (or until he surrenders, whatever happened first).
This guy is Mother 3‘s optional, secret super-boss that will stomp your party and crush you to little pieces no matter what level you have. It’s here for all of these masochists players that want to grind for endless hours to beat an unstoppable foe just to brag about it (it’s so powerful that even with cheats it’s impossible to beat it). However, for those that are not so insane you can instantly one-hit kill him with a New Year’s Eve Bomb. If you want to see how powerful this abomination is, check this video, otherwise, let’s continue.
Pusher: “I’ve come here to study up on Master Porky, our great leader.”
Elbitch: “and make life so much easier for us. Ohohohohoho!”
Ollie: “You should cheer up, too! I know! Let’s be depressed together!”
Lucas may be a boy with a depressing past, but he’s not emo, so fuck-off.
Pigmask: “I’ve never actually seen them before, even though I worked at the factory right next to Titiboo for such a long time.”
Guy: “This elevator broke, so I rushed to fix it. For some reason, it wouldn’t stop at the concert hall on the 24th floor anymore. But it works fine now. Wait a minute. You weren’t thinking of going to the 100th floor, were you? Then I apologize, the repairs I just made allow the elevator to stop at the 24th floor concert hall only. So please, just take it to the 24th floor. Please! Really, I think that would be for the best.”
While the party is waiting for the elevator to arrive to the 24th floor this guy starts moving closer to Garret with some dubious intentions.
Guy: “Sweet! Lucky’s back! That incredible bass line is finally back! Let’s go, Mr. Lucky! Let’s go!”
Lucas is once more dragged away by the same guy that prevented Lucas of committing suicide during the beginning of chapter 4.
Man: “You’re not in danger this time, though. Are you here to see the concert? I’m sure it’ll be great.”
Policeman: “I have this intense desire to arrest you for some reason. I’ll ignore it, though.”
Pork Trooper: “Oh. It’s you guys… Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do nothin’, though. Let’s just enjoy the concert together as fellow DCMC fans!”
:brofist:
Shimmy: “but with you here, it’s gonna be like… Wow!”
Shimmy: “A great, undefiable power has prepared a festival for the end of all life…”
Baccio: “Why’s that, you ask? ‘Cause we’re so drunk on our music that he can’t fool us with his nonsensical crap!”
This will be the last time that the DCMC will be seen in action, a shame.
Pigmask: “I wonder who it was. I’d be funny if it was you guys, huh? Hahaha!”
Pork trooper: “We DCMC fans oughta catch ‘em ourselves and make ‘em pay! GRRRR!!!”
The Pork trooper here is too angry to realize he’s talking about Lucas and co, otherwise he would tear them to shreds. Let’s move on before he does.
Man: “I almost tried to stop you again for some reason. Stopping people must be in my genes or something.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYhrWxyOxxA
Prepare yourselves gentlemen, the “fun” starts…
Guy: “Here, you can swim with Hippo Launchers, gaze at Hippo Lanchers and observe them eating. You can even fight them! That’s dangerous though.”
This level is one of the recycled parts of Earthbound 64 while it still was in development.
The Hippo Launchers are not hostile until you interact with them (but my inner powergamer demands all of the xp I can muster), they’re somewhat challenging enemies that can deal lots of damage… But our party is much stronger than them (and has PSI).
After cleansing some of these heretic abominations one of the Hippo Launchers drop this, a wonderful piece of gear that Lucas immediately equips.
Hippo Researcher: “I’ll beat you up good! Go! Go! Get ‘em, my Hippo Launcher!”
This is the only Hippo Launcher you actually need to fight to complete the game, but it’s not very hard to defeat.
The Researcher escapes after whining a bit more, allowing us to loot something…
That’s Garret’s best non-Mystical weapon, so powerful that I decided to toss his Mystical Shoes and give him these.
*slowly backs away*
Get used to this screenshot, Porky is a masterful troll who will not only troll the party but the player too, everytime you believe you reached the 100th floor just to discover it really wasn't, and there are worse things to come.
The next floor doesn’t have random encounters and is very short.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jISrQF44_ww
Woman: “Can you guys hold your hands to your chest and say from the bottom of your heart, “I love you, Master Porky”? No? Then quit lurking around and get out of here.”
“THIS HAREM SUCKS!!! HARD!!!” /Rance
It will be better to not ask why this machine is here.
The next floor is another dungeon, and perhaps the strangest one of the game (and possibly of the entire jrpg’s genre): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr-TJTK2XmY
It consists of several bathrooms. One of these doors allows you to advance to the next part of this dungeon, the rest of the doors can have some gifts to loot, random enemies and the occasional unexplainable inanity.
This one is inaccessible, but the last door to the left allows to move on to another hall with even more bathrooms.
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