Let's press the button of awesome - Stolen memos found

[Erebus]

It would be hilarious if the expedition was just a scam by the dwarven brothers and their only aim was to steal sovereigns from gullible fools.

 

[Brother None]

Man, without knowing which particular emotion is supposed to be expressed by Hawke it's hard to figure out what the companions respond to.

I had a twin brother, Carver. He used to nail my braid to the bed while I was sleeping.

Could BioWare really not suppress its need to give all women huge tits for the sister character? It's kinda disturbing.

 

[Twinkle]

Man, without knowing which particular emotion is supposed to be expressed by Hawke it's hard to figure out what the companions respond to.

You mean dialog "stance"? I always pick aggressive/direct RED option with a few (I want to be a dragon11111) exceptions.

If she's captain how can she travel with you?

She's not appointed yet.

 

[Esquilax]

It would be hilarious if the expedition was just a scam by the dwarven brothers and their only aim was to steal sovereigns from gullible fools.

But that would actually be interesting. We can't have that, now can we?

Oh, and Brother None, I'm not sure what you're talking about with the sister characters. In what other games has BioWare given huge tits for a sister character? Maybe I've got early onset Alzheimer's, but I'm hard pressed to remember sister characters in any BioWare game.

 

[Inziladun]

Imoen was a half sister. But other than that I don't remember, did you have a sister in Jade Empire? Or was that just a friend? Bioware games are forgettable.

 

[Drakron]

No, in JE you had a childhood friend that also was a strait love interest.

Also Imoen did not had "huge tits" since BG was using IE and that means unless they had individual spites it was "one sprite-fits all" that it was (Imoen just used the default female sprites) so we are left with the portraits and no, she is normal as far I can see and I am not seeing much, only the BG1 portrait shown a bit of her bust line as BG2 shown about nothing.

Also please dont make me defend this, Bethany does have Xbox Huge Tits on the "intro fight" and goes back to a more regular bust, this is one of the advantages of having a "personal mesh" instead of using default ones so Wynne's "GILF" does not happen, the bad is it can lose customization.

 

[ironyuri]

I just want to point out the description here:

"An armor rune that increases armor."

that is some fine adjectivising there. some find descripting. These writers should be paid in gold bars from the Sierra Madre vault.

 

[Peter]

It pisses me off when characters in a fantasy setting talk like, for lack of a better word, normal people. Phrases like 'anyway', '... but yeah' etc sound really out of place. Great writing, Bioware!

Also, for not naming the dog Dogmeat.

 

[DarthBehemoth]

Enchantment!

 

[Jackalope]

They just skipped over an entire year?
Why did they even have that in the game? The only reason I can think of is that Bioware wants to make a DLC set during that lost year. It sure sounds like something they'd do.

 

[RK47]

It pisses me off when characters in a fantasy setting talk like, for lack of a better word, normal people. Phrases like 'anyway', '... but yeah' etc sound really out of place. Great writing, Bioware!

Also, for not naming the dog Dogmeat.

Wait for one epic line: "I don't truck with demons" coming from apostate. I literally paused for a moment on my playthrough to do a

Also: Varrick is a nice companion. I don't even get the gay vibes from him. OK so he's a dwarf starved for attention, that's what happens when you absorb the surface culture and forgot how to act like American dorfs.

 

[RK47]

They just skipped over an entire year?
Why did they even have that in the game? The only reason I can think of is that Bioware wants to make a DLC set during that lost year. It sure sounds like something they'd do.

Rushed production. DA 2 was given so much less time to do..but while the game felt slightly unfinished and rushed...they still had time to make a Day 0 DLC while they triple the random mob spawns and recycled maps for dungeons at least three times for three quests.

ENCHANTMENT!

is deep with this one.

 

[Drakron]

They just skipped over an entire year?

Future DLC.

 

[Twinkle]

PART 2 - WHY DO YOU LIE?

Kirkwall streets are full of bitching triggers.

Being a guardsman seems like a better life than being a soldier.

Oh?

My brother was a soldier. It's all about taking land and serving some king you've never met.

Guardsmen, they do something real. They protect people. They make their lives better.

I don't know if I agree.

Neither would my brother.

So we were going to buy some pimped staff for Beth the assortment is shit, because availablity of stuff is largely level-dependent.

We return to uncle's house.

My children have been in servitude -- servitude -- for a year. They should be nobility!

If wishes were poppy, we'd all be dreaming.

Why was nothing set aside for us, Uncle?

Your mother was supposed to marry the Comte de Launcet, and instead she ran off with some Fereldan apostate.

You don't get to stay favorite when you do that.

Where is Father's will? If I could just see for myself --

It's not here, all right! It was read, it went in the vault. No one needed to look at it again.

Take me to the vault.

Can't. It's in the cellar of the estate. Someone else lives there now.

You didn't take your parents' will?

It was old news. You think I've been sitting here for twenty-five years waiting for Leandra to slink back?

Who bought the estate, Gamlen? Perhaps I could speak to them. Was it the Reinhardts?

No one you know. Get used to Lowtown, Sister. That's where we're going to stay.

What a sleazy dick. Obviously he's hiding something.

So, I hate thinking badly of family, but... did Uncle Gamlen seem a little slippery when he talked about Grandfather's will?

If he, say, "invested" money that was meant to be Mother's, do you think he would tell us?

I want what's ours.

Good. I'm glad we agree.

Gamlen told me he gave the estate as payment to some slaver who beat him at dice.

Apparently our ancestral home is now a base for slavers from all over Thedas.

Good. Then we can break in and I don't care if we kill them.

I already talked to both of them about this. Gamlen said they guard the front entrance well.

But Mother gave me her old key. She said it should unlock the cellar. Apparently the sewers run right beneath the house.

Yay! The obligatory sewer level. Forgot to mention: commander Awesome is capable of receving e-mails. To make the process even more streamlined and accessible even font is identical to one used in ME2.

The proof that my DLC is, ahem, activated correctly. Let's check the Emporium for kewl free trinkets.

Suffice to say that the shit is weird. Free trinkets are better than pretty much eveything you can grab at this stage.

There is also a mirror of transformation which allows to change PC's gender among the other othings. Hawke won't touch it... for now \

New location - Darktown. Former quarry now populated by human filth.

It seems that DA2 has its own elevator conversations.

Do you ever wish you lived in Orzammar?

Great Ancestors, no! You know what Orzammar is?

It's cramped tunnels, filled with nug-shit and body-odor.

And every person there thinks he's better than you because his great-great-great grandfather made a water-clock or something.

But they're your people. Don't you even wonder what it would be like?

I have a good imagination. Why would I waste it on that?

Tomwise?

Huh? Oh... Hawke.

Haven't seen you since we did that job together for Athenril. Been a while.

Heard you're going on some expedition into the Deep Roads, and right into darkspawn territory. Sure that's wise?

I've fought darkspawn before.

Just watch your back, that's all I'm saying.

Say... you still in the market for some poisons? Athenril's scarce these days, and the Coterie have their own mixers.

You find any rare reagents and want me to whip you up something, just let me know.

In fact, since you're an old friend, here's a recipe. My speciality.

Everyone needs an edge sometimes, right?

Listen, game, stop throwing "helpful" NPCs at me. I know how to use the interface, thankyouverymuch.

One of the benefits of having new staff is that enemies now explode into green goo instead of red.

Pretty much every level contains some stupid shit to collect.

Hawke's level up is the direct result of reading books. Codex is your friend.

The goal of our journey.

On the bright side of things there is no sewer level and the cellar is relatively small.

Level up for Bethany. Now she can summon artillery strikes.

We found some coins and a present for sis.

BRAAGFZFDDS!!!! AAAARRGFDGF!!! *yawn*

Here's the mini-boss protected by a trap.

Mage's AI seems to be broken to me. All he does is standing inside the sphere of protection then teleporting randomly. I don't think he made a single successful hit.

We pick the vault key from his body.

Money and the testament inside.

This is it! Grandfather's will. Mother needs to see this as soon as possible.

We'll take it to her right now.

...so I'm just saying, blood's blood and all, but you are talking advantage of my hospitality.

...

It's only fair if you make something of a... monthly contribution--

You sold my children into servitude! Now you're asking me to pay rent?

Hawke arrives and uncle loses his shit.

Er... maybe just put something towards food...

Gamlen lied to you, Mother.

We found the will.

He forgave you, Mother. Grandfather left you everything.

Here. Read it!

Er, ah, I should... maybe...

"To my daughter Leandra, and all children born of her... the estate in Hightown and all associated revenues..."

What do you have to say for yourself?

You're the one who ran away, Leandra. What happened to "Love is so much more important than money...?"

It is!

You didn't even come home for the funeral!

The twins were a week old!

We all have our burdens. Mine was looking after a life you abandoned. How long was I supposed to wait?

You'll spend the rest of your life paying my mother back for what you stole.

Andraste's ass, I will!

I don't expect that, Gamlen. It's enough to know Mother and Father didn't die angry.

I'll petition the viscount for rights to reclaim the estate. Maker willing, you'll have your "house" back within weeks.

You don't have the coin or standing to even get an audience with the viscount.

You've got to be someone in this city to live in that house again.

Then I had better get started.

I must say the game is full of missed opportunities. This situation just screamed of collar-grabbing uncle and beating shit out of him. Instead we get only empty "you'll pay for this!" threats.

Why don't you go pick up something at the market? You could use some air!

What? Hey!

Little sister is more of a kick-ass than Hawke himself so far. Fail.

I can't believe Gamlen stole Mother's entire inheritance! I mean, I can believe it -- that's the worst part.

WTF is with her hands? Are mage's hands supposed to be deformed or Bioware fails at modelling?

I would never turn against you.

Talking about Gamlen leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Well, hopefully, we'll be out of here soon.

You know, when we went to look for that will, I thought we were doing it for Mother, for what she lost.

I didn't realize how much it would mean to me. To know I had grandparents who didn't hate me.

Mother's parents sound like stuck-up pigs. Who cares what they thought?

They're our family. A noble lineage dating back to the last Blight. Aren't you a little curious?

It just makes it feel not as bad, being here, you know?

We're not running away again. We're coming home.

Our home was destroyed by the darkspawn. This will never be anything but a refugee camp.

We're never going back to Ferelden, Brother.

You can be more here than you ever could have been in Lothering.

Just give it a chance.
Bethany rivalry +10.

And the gift.

I don't care much about old family stuff. Bit I thought you might want this.

Where did you get that? Was it at the estate? Let me see!

Is it -- I think this is Mother's betrothal portrait, from when she was supposed to marry the Comte. Look! You can see the ring.

She was much happier with Father.

I know she loved Father. I guess... I just wonder if she'd have been happier if he hadn't been a mage. If I wasn't a mage.

I know that made it hard for Mother.

It's nice to have a reminder of a time when she still knew how to smile.
Bethany friendship +15.

Well, sister is unimportant... for now.... until the Plot Twist (tm).

 

[good little toastboy]

Wow, Bethany sure does turn heads.

 

[RK47]

Hahah. Yeah. I went through the tough guy route...and was disappointed at the lack of 'punch'. It was very strange when enemies explode in a shower of blood while you simply...'intimidate' without a shred of body language or interaction. Just plain, poorly delivered words of rage.

And there wasn't enough rage in it..despite the situation calling for it.



Keep it up, Twinkle! We'll meet at the end!

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Being a guardsman seems like a better life than being a soldier.

Oh?

My brother was a soldier. It's all about taking land and serving some king you've never met.

Guardsmen, they do something real. They protect people. They make their lives better.

I don't know if I agree.

Neither would my brother.

lol, almost the exact same thing as from KotOR1, except this time soldier is replaced by guardsman and warrior by soldier.

R00fles!

 

[DraQ]

"I don't truck with demons"

 

[Inziladun]

Thought I'd go ahead and leave this gem here,

 

[Erebus]

So... it took a whole year for the siblings to realize that their uncle was an asshole and to investigate his ludicrously suspicious claim that the will was unfortunately lost ? And when they find the truth, you don't even get the chance to turn him into an explosion of blood ? Although I haven't played Mass Effect either, I suspect that Shepard > Hawke.

 

[Peter]

Although I haven't played Mass Effect either, I suspect that Shepard > Hawke.

Definitely. Playing Mass Effect for the first time right now oops and it seems like you can kill at least one NPC per level/hub/dungeon/whatever.

Anyway, truly horrifying LP. Do continue

 

[Volourn]

"So... it took a whole year for the siblings to realize that their uncle was an asshole and to investigate his ludicrously suspicious claim that the will was unfortunately lost ?"

They didn't ahve time to investigate squat the first year ebcause they were busy working, you douche.

 

[Merkwürdigliebe]

Mirror of Trannification +1? Use it faggot!

 

[DragoFireheart]

Thought I'd go ahead and leave this gem here,

The cries of Bioware employees hidden within the game. I pity the employees that DO care about making a decent game having to make this piece of shit.

 

[taplonaplo]

Well the amulet takin over a year to deliver is still plot convenient.