Completed Let's solo Baldur's Gate 2 on Insane (feat. The Codex)

[ironyuri]

I'm working on an update. For some reason I'm getting more and more screenshots for each one (over 200 for #7), so give me some time.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

 

[eklektyk]

I'm working on an update. For some reason I'm getting more and more screenshots for each one (over 200 for #7), so give me some time.

yours sacrifice on the altar of fair codexia is dully noted.

now UPDATAN!!!

 

[MicoSelva]

I probably won't be able to do that before the weeekend, barring some miracle that nets me 2d6 hours of free time earlier.

 

[sea]

Why eat, sleep or go to work when you have an (awesome) LP to update?

 

[MicoSelva]

Because not everyone can make a living playing vidya games and writing about them on teh internets, maybe?

 

[ironyuri]

Because not everyone can make a living playing vidya games and writing about them on teh internets, maybe?

these are the words of a defeatist and traitor to the motherland.

katyn 2.0 coming up

 

[Thor Kaufman]

codex needs an lp kickstarter

 

[MicoSelva]

Good idea. For $500K I promise doing LPs for the next 30 years, with frequent and regular updates.

Anyways, Bros, let's aim for tomorrow with #7.

 

[MicoSelva]

Hi guys. Sorry I couldn't be here for the last update. I see You have somehow managed without me.

We did.

Aye.

Ok, let me se what is new...

Hey this is nice.

Um, yeah, I, ah, found it lying around somewhere.

Right. What else did You get...? OH FUCK.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

It's not what you think...

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR JUST ONE UPDATE!

No, really, I-

I don't want to hear it! Let's just move on.

Update #7: What Is Wrong With This City?

Spoiler

It seems we are in Bridge District now. We might as well continue from here.

Quite a long way to go until the next level up.

I don't even want to know how it is possible that You both got a human flesh in your backpack AND an increase in reputation.

These saving throws still need some improvement until they reach the comfort zone (5 or less is nice).
Also, we should have probably increased short sword proficiency first. We won't be using staves just yet, and that bonus to backstabbing would be nice.

I warned you I won't be fighting with a stick, but no. You had to be smarter.

This AC would be ok, if not for the penalty against crushing weapons (+2, meaning it is effectively 0). Against other types of damage it is -4 or -5, so not bad.

No changes here (and there probably won't be any for a long time, so I won't be screenshotting this part any more).

I forgot to screenshot the fattest kill/bodycount screen, so we'll check it out next time.

The Codex has a somewhat loaded backpack.

So we start by selling excess stuff to the nearest merchant (I am also going to omit such 'events' from now on, except when there's something interesting in them).

And now let's explore some of the buildings in this district.

Oh. A temple.

Can we plunder it?

No.

Let's leave then.

When we're off exploring, trivialities such as locked doors are never going to stop us.

On the contrary. Remember, children: locked places usually have the best loot.

Not to mention trapped containers.

Bingo!

Potions are always nice.

Especially now, when we have a potion case. Which I bought. Not you. Just saying.

Let's check this place now.

Looks nice.

Um... Athkatla pest control? We've heard residents complaining about a goblin infestation...

Nice try.

This ring of human influence is overrated.

Mwahahahaha, slaughter!

Mwaha- Hey, don't steal my lines!

These guards drop magic arrows.

Quite nice of them.

Of course they also use them to shoot at You.

Bastards!

We meet another guard in the next room.

Hi, nice to meet you. Don't shoot magic arrows at me, I can use them better. Thanks.

This looks nice, except we find nothing interesting in any of these.

Not supposed to be here? Yeah, I hear that a lot.

I disagree, however.

Mwahahahaha, slaughter!

I'm warning you!

This guy dropped something sellable.

From the moment I saw him, I knew he looked like a resonable chap.

More potions.

Which we can place in my neat potion case which I've bought myself, without your help.

Yeah, I know, potion case.

It's really neat!

Never see me coming...

Oh god, I hope so.

31 damage. Not bad.

He still lives, though.

Ok, fixed.

It's a trap!

I'm pretty sure we've already done this joke before. Besides, not that kind of trap.

Oh yeah. Like I care what you think.

I think we've hit the jackpot.

Awesome.

And a magic flail as a bonus.

Nothing to see here.

This floor is done. Let's go downstairs.

Oh look, more walking XP.

Fuck! Stop shooting me!

How about you tell them about your neat potion case?

I'm sure they would like to hear about the neat potion case.

Death count: 24

Loading.

Right, so I think we should go all tactical on those two.

Meaning?

Maybe I should cast a spell or something?

Maybe you should.

Fucking useless chainmail!

We close in, so both guards switch from bows to melee.

This + Horror changes the tide of the battle.

And stay fucking down!

For everyone interested, here's the 'story background' for this location. It apparently belongs to some out-of-town merchant. Cut quest, anyone?

Oh yeah, we kill the guard.

Some spell scrolls. Dispel magic is always nice to have, just in case.

A trapped altar.

That Farrahd guy must really hate priests. He's a bro.

An emerald. I like.

Yet another guard meets his demise.

I don't get these guys. Why do they take up such a dangerous job? I bet they're underpaid too.

You have a strange way of showing sympathy.

How many cool things can we find in these? Let's try to guess.

Um... five?

Try again.

Three, maybe?

Closer, but no.

It's zero, isn't it?

It is.

Does this count as a nice find?

Not really.

Anyway, we're done with this place. Let's move on!

Our next target destination is this modest house here.

It seems they believe they have something interesting here.

We'll see.

Oh-kay. Why would anyone... Ah, forget it.

You're still going to steal it, aren't You?

Of course. The world is my oyster, and stuff.

Next up, this little barn/shed here.

I bet there's nothing interesting inside.

Alright. I would've lost that bet there.

To be honest, I'm not seeing this in optimistic colors.

Don't be a wuss. The Codex never surrenders.

He does however, sometimes retreat. And I believe this to be one of those times.

Falahar and Pitre quickly show us it won't be easy here.

EASY!?

It definitely won't be easy.

Death count: 25

Load game.

I have a suggestion. Let's come back here later, when I am well-rested and maybe also levelled-up.

Nah, let's try again immediately. This time we enter hidden in shadows. These guys are already hostile, so we won't go easy on them.

Oh. We won't GO EASY on them. Great.

Okay, I kind of hoped this would kill the mage.

Well it hasn't. What now?

We manage to Horror some of them, but the odds still don't look to be much in our favour.

I have nothing to say.

Right.

Death count: 26

Load.

Any smartass comments?

You have to admit, we were a little bit closer to victory this time.

We were able to see it with binoculars instead of a telescope, yeah.

Let's come back here later, when You are well-rested and maybe also levelled-up.

Indeed.

Let's check this house here.

The Codex employes his keen diplomatic sense once again.

It ends predictably.

Fucking peasants.

Amnish bodygaurds do not fuck around.

I'll kill you all!

I kind of saw this coming.

Death count: 27

Reload.

What the fuck is wrong with this city? I can't enter someone else's house and rob everything blind without getting killed.

Yeah, imagine that.

We can however try an approach that is a little more subtle.

Except it fails when we actually want to steal something.

Amnish soldiers apparently need backup.

I could use some backup too, actually.

Oh fuck, that is a lot of people to kill.

Well, this has not gone well.

Death count: 28

Loading.

I'm not going back in there without a cloudkill prepared.

Maybe this place will be a little more friendly.

Ok, it's not, but at least it is easier to deal with.

Not very impressive, but at least worth a few coins.

People in this city are seriously paranoid.

My neat-

Don't. Just don't.

Okay, what's that?

Nice! I've always wanted a pet berserker but Gorion, the fucker, never let me keep one.

Back on the street, we witness this conversation.

I wasn't eavesdropping. You can go and play with your whore if you want to, I don't care.

Didn't you hear what I've just said!?

DIE!

Good job, Lilarcor.

One of the thieves dropped some interesting stuff.

What's a familiar?

It's kind of a wizard's pet. A mephit, for example.

OH NO! TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AWAY!

It could be something else too...

TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AWAY!

We probably won't be using this spell, unless we have no other way to pass an encounter other than a specifically prepared spellset.

The other guy dropped a scroll too.

We learn all the spells.

Including the Summon That Horrible Mephit spell?

Yes, including Find Familiar.

Fuck.

Back in the Copper Coronet, we meet Joluv, who sells Icewind Dale themed items.

One of them is this nice sword, which is actually a little better than Lilarcor. The difference is not worth the 10K price, though.

Better than me? Ha! I'm the biggest, the best, better than the rest!

We're out of spells, so let's rest a bit.

Okay, now we can... Oh, no.

What? What is going on?

I forgot about these dreams.

Dreams? I remember those. They had this nice narrator and blood. Lots of blood.

Now they have Imoen.

Fuck.

Hey, it's the edge of the world. Kind of cool.

So, what exactly is she rambling on about?

Beats me. I can't stand this inane shit. This is what you get when You try to write Planscape: Torment style dialogs without the talent to back this up.

We love You, MCA.

I'm not really following what is going on here.

Maybe you shuld try listetning to what she says?

You think?

You wrongly assume I am coming at all.

Not this guy. I was hoping never to see him again.

Um...

You like talking about pain, it seems. Remind me of this when we meet IRL, 'kay?

And fuck you. I'm not adding that to my death count!

Ok, enough of this shit. Let's do some actual adventuring.

First, we cast Find Familiar.

What? NO!

We get a cat.

Nice! I've always wanted a pet car but Gorion, the fucker, never let me keep one.

I thought it was a berserker?

Yes, it was supposed to be a berserker cat.

I can see the problem.

Its skills are nothing special, but it has its uses.

Next, we finally get rid of the shitty Mail of the Dead.

The name is appropriate, by the way. I've been dead many times while wearing it.

We immediately put the money to good use and buy Robe of Vecna.

Cool. I'm looking prety badass now.

Notice the 112 HP, noble readers. That is because cat familiar has 24 HP, half of which The Codex gets as a bonus.

Onward to Government district!

The Codex begins his exploration of the new district with breaking into the first house we see.

Mind you, I am not a burglar, just a loveable rogue.

Potions.

It's always good to have as much of these as You can carry.

Ok, next building.

A temple. Boring.

Moving along the street, we encounter this charming scene.

Burn her!

'Burn her'?

What?

That is kind of racist, but they have a point. Drow are overall pretty horrible people.

She is kind of hot, though.

Fear not, noble virgin! I'm coming to help!

'Noble virgin'?

Hey. She's the first hot woman ever who called me by name. Oh, and she did not say 'I'll kill you Codex!'.

Fair enough.

These fanatics don't take 'no' for an answer.

I'll persuade them.

Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!

Fuck, I haven't noticed that one more archer there.

Ok, I did not see this one coming.

Death count: 29

Loading.

That's it. No more Mr. Nice Codex.

Let's see what they think about fighting me stoneskin-clad.

The fuck? What kind of inane shit is this?

I've got your license right here. Damn, he disappeared.

Anyway, let's kill these guys.

Shit! They hit kinda hard.

Time for some potion quaffing, I think.

Okay, two down!

Yes! Victory!

Have I really saved you before? Can't remember.

Go to grave district to get free sex. Gotcha.

I saved a drow from being burned and all I got was this one lousy potion.

I can't enter the prison? Prepos... Wait. Why would I want to enter the prison?

There's no stopping The Codex. We use the side entrance.

I still don't see the point.

There's nothing interesting inside.

No shit. Why did we even bother?

Another potentially epic break-in interior exploration is stopped by an inconventional lock.

Why are people doing this? Don't they know my curiosity will eat me alive if I can't enter some place? No decency. No respect.

This one looks a little more promising.

You really have to be constantly vigilant around these parts.

Good we are still finding these. They tend to get used up pretty fast.

A moment later, we meet Jan Jansen. I would omit the conversation with him, but it seems to be some kind of a mini-quest (we got XP in the end), so I'll just leave it here without any comments:

Bioware humor is not as funny as I considered it to be when I was ten years younger.

You actually found this FUNNY?

I got better.

Moments later, we encounter a damsel weeaboo in distress.

The Codex is very keen on doing what is right.

I am?

You are, apparently.

Vampires! Jesus, give me strength!

How can You know who Jesus is?

How couldn't I know? He's the best vampire hunter of all.

OhFuckThisHurts!

What are you doing to me? Stop doing it!

They did not stop.

Death count: 30

Loading.

What happened there was not normal.

Yeah, they drain your levels when they hit you. If they drain them all, you die.

That's not fucking good.

Let's prepare for this confrontation up front.

You again? Fuck off!

Goddammit, now there's three of them!

Here, have a dispel!

And our hero is stunned, which means he's also dead.

Like I said.

Death count: 31

Load game.

This is bullshit! How am I supposed to buff myself against the vampires if I get gangraped by these fucking cowlers every time I snap my fingers to light up a cigaret!

There is a way.

Apparently, Cowled Wizards dont give a shit if someone's casting spells indoors.

Oh.

Let us see if Stoneskin is enough for this.

It is not.

Death count: 32

Load.

Stoneskin failed me? How is that possible?

It stopped the damage but not level draining, it seems. We should have invested into that amulet instead of Robe of Vecna.

What amulet?

You'll like it.

We get some more buffs this time (also Mirror Image, which does not show on character sheet). We also emply the services of our berserker friend.

Blood Death and Vengeance!

Kill everyone!

I can't help but notice that atmosphere in this party is getting a little unhealthy.

Vampiress is down!

BLOOD!

RAAAARGH!

Now only to kill her two lackeys.

ARGH!

Each successful attak drains The Codex of two levels (each class), meaning they can kill us in six hits tops.

Well this sucks.

Not looking good here. One more hit and we're dead.

MY PRECIOUS LEVELS! I'LL KILL THESE FUCKING VAMPIRES!

Yes, but not at the moment.

Death count: 33

Loading.

Do we have a plan?

We do.

1. Buffs. 2 Full plate mail.

3. Profit.

Mwahahaha, slaughter!

Two vampires are dead already, I forgot to screenshot Del kicking the bucket.

The Codex can still receive two more hits and not die.

I'd still prefer not to receive them.

Death count: 34

Loading game.

Do we have another plan?

No. Fuck. We're going again with the previous one.

I was afraid you would say that.

DIIIIIIEEEEEEE! Great job, Lilarcor!

Told you I'm the best!

Again, I did not catch Del dying. Sorry for that.

This does not look good.

Looks pretty fucking bad indeed!

As The Codex' Haste spells have been drained along with Mage levels, we need to use an emergency potion.

With it, we are able to outrun the vampire.

To out-tactically retreat, you mean.

Unfortunately it seems the vampire took some interest in our temporary protégé.

We get his attention back by shooting some arrows at him. Of course I forgot vampires are immune to normal arrows and we dealt no damage.

Desperately needed: facepalm emoticon.

We lead the vampire away from Sasuke or whatever the weeaboo fucker is called, but of course he follows waving his non-magical katana.

All this is really embarassing.

Luckily The Codex' Draw Upon Holy Might power is not leveled-based.

We sneak up on the vampire...

Good thing it's nighttime or I wouldn't be able to hide in shadows with my level 1 thief skills.

...and backstab him for double damage.

Not sure if or .

And he's dead!

And we get no reward whatsoever for all our efforts. Was it even worth it?

I seriously doubt that.

Ok, it definitely wasn't worth it.

1000 gold!? Fuck this shit. This was the last time I've helped someone.

Good thing You can read this scroll, or we would be really fucked.

Hello precious levels. I've missed you so much.

Moving on, we encounter Madeen.

I don't like vaguespeak when we're talking about rewards for me.

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

You will?

Why?

He pays up front.

I will.

Tolgerias is found inside the city council building.

You won't even tell me what you expect me to do? What kind of shit is this?

Yes, let's talk about the reward. I have some very recent bad experience in helping people who did not promise to pay me for it.

Magic item? Agreed!

So it's a bounty hunt? No probs.

Valygar Corthala? Sounds noble.

Yeah this quest would be better if it wasn't ruined by listing Valygar as one of the joinable companions in the manual to this game.

Right. So where's my magic item? Wasn't he supposed to pay me up front?

Oh, he will. He just does not know it yet.

There we go.

I like the way you're thinking.

This is actually pretty cool.

Umar Hills are now available as a travel destination for us.

Next stop - City Gates!
----------
Next time: we embark on a trip to Umar Hills and die a lot.

Remember that You can vote for future quests The Codex should undertake. The list... ah, fuck this.

 

[Azira]

 

[Crooked Bee]

Aw, the Codex's cat.

 

[JoKa]

Another very good update in a glorious LP.

 

[Storyfag]

Good stuff man. Cut it ouit with the capital You though. While it's expected and proper in our :monocle: potato language, it looks plain silly in English.

Voting for exploring the Planar Sphere.

Also, for the love of Bhaal, don't pay for the spellcasting license! Once you're buff enough, exterminate the Cowled Wizards willing to enforce their spellcasting ban

 

[ironyuri]

Good stuff man. Cut it ouit with the capital You though. While it's expected and proper in our :monocle: potato language, it looks plain silly in English.

Voting for exploring the Planar Sphere.

Also, for the love of Bhaal, don't pay for the spellcasting license! Once you're buff enough, exterminate the Cowled Wizards willing to enforce their spellcasting ban

 

[MicoSelva]

I never planned on paying those dirty peasants for their license. And no, I'm not dropping the capital You.

Planar Sphere is already underway. It is going to take at least two updates, though. I encountered some seriously murderous halflings in there.

 

[MicoSelva]

Last time on Let's Solo Baldur's Gate 2:

Oh yeah, this. We have to get that anti-level-draining amulet fast.

I'd say!

Update #8: Hiking

Spoiler

While heading for the city gates, we are waylaid by enemies.

What? Action right from the start? Bring it on!

Oh yeah, baby!

We start by Horroring the attackers.

Wait, I can cast spells in the streets now?

It's a spell-like ability, actually.

I don't think Cowled Reapers care about semantics as much as you do.

Fine, they're not monitoring this street then. Now, get rid of that one guy who was not scared.

Ok, done.

Before Horror wears off, we manage to kill all slavers except this one mage.

Easily fixed.

Oh fuck dammit!

Haha!

The wizard dropped some spell scrolls.

They're pretty lame, though.

We also got some magic weaponry.

Also lame.

Oooh. This looks promising!

I like this alot.

This actually sucks, as it's both weaker and more cumbersome than our non-magical full plate. Also, You can't use amulets/cloaks/rings of pretection together with magical armor.

I can never remember the graphics for better magic maces. Is it something worth keeping, maybe?

Nope.

Moving on, we are waylaid by enemies AGAIN.

How can anyone live in this city, with danger lurking out around every corner?

We use Horror to good effect again.

The mage did not panic however, and Mirrored Imaged himself. Magic Missile should take care of that.

Boom! Headshot!

The rest of the thugs prove to be no challenge at all.

Renfield?

You mean Renfield? Besides it's Renfeld.

Oh yeah, Renfeld. That's an even better camouflage than that Alucard thing.

Oil of Speed. We like those.

Look, they had a dual-wielding guy. Helped him much.

I think I already know all of these.

We need to sidetrack a little, to carry Renfeld to his Harper friends.

You said 'harper'! OMG SPOILERZ!

What the fuck... I can't make five steps without getting attacked in this city!

Yeah, yeah, RAAAARGH! yourself too.

Coin? Neat?

125 gold... Really? Fucking cheapskates.

DAMMIT! Can't I really go anywhere without being bothered by someone?

If you're paying, I might be interested.

Yeah, yeah, later. Maybe.

Back to the city gates. Maybe we can reach them this time.

I wouldn't bet on it.

We actually made it.

Fucking yay. What now?

We can finally start this update properly.

We should be able to get a thief level-up today.

Our thieving skill have improved a lot since we switched from Mail of the Dead to Robe of Vecna.

Saving throws are also looking a little better.

Our AC is now -1 against slashing and crushing weapons and -4 against piercing and missile. Still needs improvement.

Remember when I said I won't be screenshotting this part anymore? I lied.

Bone golem? I don't remember us fighting one of these...

Don't you worry your pretty little head with such details.

High Merchant sounds wealthy.

No probs. I have all the manpower you might possibly need.

I'll get there... eventually.

Onwards to Umar Hills.

Finally, no more distractions.

We are waylaid by enemies on the way.

This Stinking Cloud should take care of them.

Yeah, pity we're out of Horrors, though.

Half of them are down.

Let's hope that's enough.

Damn, they hit quite hard!

Healing?

No, I can do it.

There. Mirror Image. Can't hurt me now, suckers!

Guess again.

Death count: 35

Loading.

They got lucky. I'll get them next time.

This time we reach Umar Hills undisturbed.

They chickened out! Fucking Orog cowards!

Contrary to city areas, this one is completely undiscovered upon entering.

Finally, some real exploration.

WARNING: screenshots below (hidden under Show) contain a lot of dialogue which The Codex and I did not bother to comment. If You're interested, You can read it.

Spoiler

Why are we talking to this guy?

I have business with him.

You do?

I want to buy a book.

You do?

I'll take this one.

I never suspected You of being interested in history.

Vellin Dahn.

Let me think. Vellin Dahn. Dellin Dahn. Dallin Dahn. Darlin Dahn. Dar?in Dahn. Darcin Cahn. Darcin Cohn.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Darcin Cole.

Darcin Cole was your name.

Do You know this guy?

What armour are we talking about?

Skins. Blood. Are you think what I'm thinking you're thinking?

Probably.

You are NOT completing the human skin armor.

Oh, but I am.

We'll see.

WARNING: More raw dialogue ahead. Click Show to view.

show

Mimic blood? Sure, I can get some.

You can?

Hey, when was the last time I wasn't able to find something I was asked to find?

Fair enough.

I hope I'll get paid for this.

Let's see what the town mage keeps in his pockets.

Oh fuck. Why would I want to summon THESE?

WARNING: Even more raw dialogue ahead. Click Show to view.

Spoiler

Did you boys say 'money'?

So, we embark on another epic quest.

I'd say this is not worth my time, but quest rewards in this game are ridiculously high, so it just might be.

We buy some ale.

This thing is more expensive than Oktoberfest Special. And not nearly as well served.

1000 XP for fetching a beer.

Nothing says EPIC like bloated XP rewards.

DIE, CHICKEN!

What the hell are You doing?

I don't know! I just suddenly felt the urge to kill some chickens!

Right.

These chickens must die!

We know what we're looking for?

What secrets?

Oh, look, a gem.

Nice. Let's move on.

Exploring forward, we find this nice house to loot investigate.

Look, a book. You can endulge in your newly-discovered reading habbit.

I'd like to read your obituary next.

Some stuff we can sell.

Looks like picking up the book was a quest trigger of some sort.

Neat.

Must have been ninja-dogs!

WARNING: Plot ahead. Click Show to view.

Spoiler

Levelling up as a thief. All skills get increased by +5.

Some magic...

Acid.

...arrows. We can always use these.

Moving on, we encounter some angry young people:

Valygar who?

Don't you remember the bounty hunt Tolgerias sent us to?

That mage guy? Didn't he already pay me?

Kind of.

Then the job's done, isn't it?

Well... Let's focus on the attackers, ok?

These guys? No sweat.

I'll soften then up with a spell and...

And die?

Death count: 36

Load game.

Fuck, they're pretty tough.

I need to prepare a little.

Stinking Cloud should take care of this.

84 damage? This is bad!

It is bad indeed.

Death count: 37

Load.

I'm open to suggestions.

I might have a few.

Like Cloud Kill.

Good idea!

They seem to be high-level enough not to die instantly.

Skull trap should help them with this.

And fireball.

Watch out, Your Stoneskin is down.

Ha! Eat dirt!

Stoneskin...

Stoneskin, I said. Fuck.

Death count: 38

Loading.

I haven't noticed that my stoneskin was down.

Damn You, Codex!

We need to limit damage taken in this fight, so we open by casting Slow this time.

Good thinking.

And then Cloud Kill.

I love this spell!

Then FireBall.

And finally Skull Trap. Also, your Stoneskin is down.

Dammit, how can they still be alive!?

STONESKIN!

Right. I need to give them something else to do than attack me. Time to introduce some chaos into this combat.

Fuck! This hurts!

Time for healing potions, I think.

Aha! One is down!

Oh yeah, baby!

Choke on arrows, shithead!

At least they dropped some better stuff than those vampires last time.

I don't want to remember them.

These boots look nice.

This weapon looks dangerous. I wouldn't want to fight with it, unless I was Bruce Lee.

Cool stuff!

Giant Lynx attacks.

Calm down, kitty!

It seems the lynx was hunting a deer.

Whatever. Dead now.

Shade wolf...? Ok, this is new.

It's arrow-proof!

You should switch to a magical weapon.

That's me!

Good going, Lilarcor!

Of course!

Yeah, maybe we'll find something 'eeevvvillll' in this cabin here.

Who exactly are we looking for here?

Valygar.

And he is...?

You forgot already?

I'm not sure I ever remembered.

Guess which three weapons Valygar has proficiency in? Yup, it's long bow, katana and spear.

This spell scroll looks interesting.

Hey, it's a level 5 spell, which means I can use it already!

Indeed.

Spears in AD&D kind of suck. In D&D 3.5 they deal 1d8 damage, which at least makes them usable.

Look, a shadow.

The shadow?

No, just a shadow.

Oh.

More shadows.

These are shadow fiends, actually.

Is that better or worse?

You be the judge.

Fuuuuuck!

Worse. Much worse.

Death count: 39

Load game.

Hiking is very dangerous around here.

Stoneskin should help.

Bring it on, darkies, I'm, not afraid of you!

Fuck, why are there so many of them?

Eat some cloudkill!

Cloud Kill does not seem to be doing much.

I'll haste myself then and just kill them the traditional way.

Stop killing me!

I forgot to screenshot the death screen, but trust me - it happened.

Death count: 40

Loading.

Ok, I'm out of ideas.

Let me see.

Let's scout a little bit first.

And get ready for them with Draw Upon Holy Might.

Try magic arrows. Maybe we can pull them one at a time?

I remember it worked fine in the previous game.

Not in this one, though.

Haste!

First we kill of the shadow weakened by arrows earlier.

Another one down!

Focus on the fiends, they're much more dangerous.

We get lucky with a critical hit and manage to slay one of the fiends pretty fast.

Ha!

Oh fuck yeah!

The other fiend is down and we still have Stoneskin active. Nice going.

With the fiends gone, the rest of the shadows are pretty easy to deal with.

Hiking forward, we find a cave.

Inside there's a completely unsuspicious and unguarded chest.

It's huge! Imagine all the loot!

The chest turns out to be a Mimic. The Codex is held by his Mimic Glue ability.

Can our hero survive until the spell wears off?

Nope.

Death count: 41

Loading.

I should have seen that coming.

Holding Arbane's Sword makes us immune to Hold Person. Very useful.

You can kiss my ass, mimic boy!

We retreat a bit after getting hit with Mimic Acid for ~70 damage.

Like I always say: when annoyed, cast cloudkill.

Cloud Kill works pretty well, but it wears off before killing the Mimic.

I'm not going to survive another acid thing, so I'm not going anywhere near that fucker.

How about hidden?

That's better.

We manage to backstab the Mimic.

I'm not sure how this works, but whatever.

One another hit is enough to kill the monster.

Yeeeeehaw!

We get mimic blood (quest item) as a reward along with a diamond and some magic bullets and darts.

Moving forward, we meet Madulf and his merry band of monsters, which means: more plot! 'Show' to view.

Spoiler

Back to the wizard.

Stop calling me 'boy'!

19K XP and a magic sword? I'd say it was worth getting a faceful of acid for this.

The golem goes full crazy as soon as it is activated.

More XP for me!

Jermien is tanking for us in this fight, so it's extremely easy.

Meh, boring.

Yup, I saved your ass. I expect more rewards of course.

Such a sudden and convenient change of heart.

Bioware writing at its best.

Wait, what about my reward?

Oh, we'll get rewarded alright.

First, the sword we got is Ilbratha. We could keep it for the Mirror Inage ability but I bet I would forget it most of the time, so it's going for sale.

Second, we loot the house.

Oh yeah!

Getting no less than two new spells.

First is Contingency.

Looks complicated.

And the second: Protection from Normal Weapons.

This one's cool.

Click 'Show' to view the plot.

show

We get 27.5K XP for negotiating peace between Madulf and the village.

Awesome!

But it would be boring if we did this quest the right way, wouldn't it? Our readers deserve more than that.

What do you mean?

I mean this.

Ok. Works for me.

First we take care of the minotaur. Some of the other monsters are scared.

It feels so GOOD to inspire fear in my enemies' hearts.

Next up is Madulf himself.

Gnoll gets a series of arrows to the groin, but the monsters are no longer panicked.

Time for some crowd control.

The Ogre is killed by a Magic Missile barrage.

The Gnoll gets his final arrow.

And the orc sufffers a similar fate.

Ha, I rock!

The XP and loot reward from this seems inadequate, though, so we load the game from before attacking Madulf's gang.

We WHAT? All this effort for nothing?

Yeah, pretty much. And no whining please.

I hate you so much!

Looting the Umar inn.

Is it even legal to set traps in a public place? I'll just disarm it so that nobody gets hurt.

And by nobody You mean Yourself?

That's beside the point.

A wand. I like wands.

We go back to Valygar's hut and this time he's there.

Hi. You'll need to hire new Ranger Death Squad for yourself.

Plot AHOY! 'Show' to view.

Spoiler

We agree for Valygar to join us.

We do? What about this 'solo' thing?

I'm allowing for a few exceptions.

Valygar is probably one of the better companions in the game, very similar to Kivan from the first Baldur's Gate.

Area completed!

Let's hope you're right then.

And it worked. This concludes our brief period of cooperation with Valygar.

I like Lilarcor's comment at the end.

But before we enter the Planar Sphere, we need to prepare ourselves and rest.

----------

Next time: We try to explore the planar sphere but suffer some... setbacks.

By 'setbacks' you mean 'deaths'. Am I right?

Yes. Yes, You are.

 

[Storyfag]

Letting Valygar live = However it is understandable, seeing as how the game does not reward xp for killing would-be companions. That, in itself, is the greater

 

[Zboj Lamignat]

Why did you let Valygar live? Killing him and opening the sphere with his body does not change anything in this quest. Any biowarian npc=instant decline.

 

[MicoSelva]

I wasn't sure if I can fight Tolgerias if Valygar is dead, and I'm going to need the second Ring of the Ram.

 

[Saark]

This is going to be fun. And lethal. Which basically are the same thing.

Good updates, keep going.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Hardcore stuff.

 

[Zboj Lamignat]

I wasn't sure if I can fight Tolgerias if Valygar is dead, and I'm going to need the second Ring of the Ram.

You can.

 

[MicoSelva]

Whoa. Another one of these trippy dreams. I must have eaten something unfresh.

It was the lasagne, probably. That cheese looked fishy.

Or maybe it was the vegetable soup.

Yeah, must have been the soup. I knew tomatoes should not be purple.

I wonder if I should be paying attention to this...?

Hey, a reign, I mean rain of fire. That's pretty cool.

No worries. I never refuse free stuff.

Update #9: Planar Sphere of Death, Part I - Bloody Halflings

Spoiler

Welcome back, noble readers. We will be reaching Level 10 in Fighter class today.

I had this weird dream...

Our death list has exceeded 250 over less than 20 game-days, which means The Codex kills something once every two hours on average.

Hey, a man has his needs!

We've changed our spell loadout a little, including some of the newly-acquired magics.

I'm pretty sure 'magics' is not a word.

Someone here has been watching too much Star Trek.

And inside we go!

Let me guess, my first task here is to find it.

Correct.

Let's try this way first.

Watch out, a golem.

No shit. It's kind of hard to miss.

OH FUCK MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!

'Clay Golem was immune to my damage'. Huh.

Death count: 42

Loading.

Ok, what the fuck was that?

It seems that clay golems are immune to slashing damage, even from magical weapons.

Inconceivable!

What do we do, then?

First, clad in Stoneskin, we confirm the problem.

Confirmed.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It seems to also be the case with piercing weapons.

Great. What now?

As golems are basically immune to magic, we'll need a crushing weapon.

I don't think I have one.

We'll have to buy one then.

We get attacked by a thug on our way.

Fuck off, I'm not in the mood.

We buy a Quarter Staff +2. In hindsight, we should have gone with the cheaper option and get Staff Mace (also +2), but whatever.

We also use the opportunity to visit this fine merchant.

And get an ammo belt.

Back to the sphere.

You wait here Valygar. There's nothing interesting going inside. Really.

Our Stoneskin is a little battered from the little test before, so we put a little more effort into this fight and cast Mirror Image.

This proves to be a good idea.

Die, pot-boy!

With the golem gone, it's time for some looting.

This is always my favourite part.

We find mostly spell scrolls...

...and some quest items.

Overall, it's quite nice.

This spell turns others into squirrels, making them much less threatening.

Good thing it's not hamsters. They can be quite ferocious.

Breach is a very important anti-mage spell, as it dispells some of the more annoying protections.

We copy the spells.

Earning some tasty XP in the process!

I guess the golem was disar-

Don't.

I'm guessing this completes my first task here.

This is so mundane it must be a quest item too.

There's one another side path to explore before we venture deeper into the sphere.

HA! Never knew what hit him!

Nice vista.

This can't be good.

This, however, is always good.

We get a pretty uninteresting (+1 HP, -1 THAC0) fighter level-up.

Wary of possible golem ambushes, we scout hidden.

Solamnic Knights warn us of killer halflings waiting ahead.

HA HA HA! Oh WOW!

Also, we find some loot.

Another one of these neat anti-protection spells.

We'll be needing them.

Moving on, we indeed meet some hostile halflings.

As if goblins from the beginning of the game were not enough comedy.

Hey, halfings, I'm a nazgul! Boo!

This is almost too easy.

Oh, hi, you're late.

Ow! The fucker bites! DIE!

Mwahahahaha! Slaughter!

Oh, I haven't forgotten about you.

Look, another one. Let's backstab him!

Ugh, feast?

Note: we actually managed to backstab him, but he barely noticed.

Don't move, willya?

I said, don't move, impdwarf!

His name's Togan. Also, watch out, there are more of them.

Bite me! I mean... Uh, fuck it.

We retreat a little. Togan follows, so we kill him.

Approaching hidden and looking for backstab opportunities.

Kayardi's True Sight puts a stop to that (I forgot about Cloak of Non-Detection, of course).

You're excused this time. I forgot we had it too.

When in doubt...

Cast cloudkill!

The halflings attack, so we retreat and kill the fastest one who follows.

This is looking pretty good so far.

And then Kayardi appears and casts Maze on The Codex, which is equal to insta-killing him. Fuck.

Death count: 43

Load game.

No fair! I wasn't dead and would have come back after a while.

We'll have to deal with this somehow.

Second try - first we backstab Togan.

Let me check if you have a spine!

Die, midget!

We manage to kill him pretty almost immediately, but the other halflings become magically aware of us...

...so the keen plan to get them one at a time fails spectacularly and soon after the situation turns into a clusterfuck.

And The Codex is mazed again.

Death count: 44

Load.

We need a plan.

I might just have the one.

We employ our newly learned spell - Conjure Lesser Air Elemntal (L.A.E.). Note the 'stun' marker over The Codex' head - this spell makes You paralyzed for some time after aummonning, while You're engaged in battle of will with the elemental. Therefore, it is best to cast if before combat.

We also summon the Berserk Warrior.

Blood!

Then we engage the halflings in an already familiar pattern. First, The Codex backstabs Togan.

Gonna need a new kidney, midget!

L.A.E. and Berserk Warrior keep rushing forward to attack, which makes controlling them a pain, especially that in multiplayer BG/BG2 You can't pause the game as easily as You can in single player (some time needs to pass after unpausing before You can pause again).

L.A.E. is immune to non-magical weapons, which makes it a pretty good tank. Also, it shielded The Codex from Maze. The bad thing however is that our hero panicked.

OH MY GODS HE HAS A KNIFE!

NO MORE PAIN PLEASE!

No more pain.

Death count: 45

Loading.

That somehow did not go any better than before.

I've noticed.

Next attempt is not very promising from the start. L.A.E. turns on The Codex after summonning.

Damn ungrate cloud-fog thing!

How dare you wound me!

Next up, Berserk Warrior is dire charmed almost immediately.

Kill elf!

And people are surprised I prefer to work alone.

Die, traitor!

Argh!

Without any sort of meat (or cloud) shield to protect him, The Codex is stunned.

And mazed.

I wonder if we reach 50 today.

Death count: 46

Load game.

Do we have a plan D or whatever fucking letter have we reached already?

We don't.

Oh for fuck's sake! Not this shit again!

At least this time we dealt with it without getting wounded.

Backstab only deals 23 damage.

Why does the world hate me!?

You half-people stay where you are.

And take some deep breaths while you're at it.

Forward!

No, You stay put. Damn Leroy Jenkins AI.

BURN!

Kill little man!

Stop moving, little man!

We deal some major damage, including the nameless halfling warrior dead, but Kayardi, who is the greatest threat, is unaffected.

Fucker.

HA!

Togan is down, as is Berserk Warrior.

Eat arrows, dipshit!

Entu croaks too, but our Cloud Kill has disappeared.

Only two spellcasters left and Kayardi is out of his best spells. I'll enjoy ripping them apart! Stoneskin!

IT BURNS! MY FLESH BURNS!

Damn cleric.

Death count: 47

Load.

Maybe I could just sneak by past them?

Do you want to be known as The Codex Who Feared the Halflings?

Well, it's either that or huge amount of excruciating pain, so...

We'll try again.

GOTCHA!

Saving game!

ThereYouGoGuys. GoKickSomeAss!

KickAss!

ImWellPreparedThisTime. NoWayIllLose.

Cloudkill!

LittleCloudFriendKilAndBerserkerKillToo!

Kayardi's combo of protection spells means we can't hurt him with any weapon we have, but he's not immune to Cloud Kill.

YesInhaleThatShit!

No! LittleCloudFriendGone!

L.A.E. is unsummonned but we manage to kill Togan.

ThisIsGettingReptitive. IMustveKilledHimLikeTenTimesAlready!

ElfWhyYouNoMove?

Kayardi's second set of protection spells kicks in (he has two contingencies/sequencers/whatever prepared) and Cloud Kill stops hurting him, so he manages to cast Power Word, Stun on The Codex (whose HP dropped below the Power Word threshold in the meantime). And it was going so well.

Fuck, that was close!

Miraculously, the spell wears off before The Codex is killed. Berserk Warrior was unsummonned during this time.

Entu croaks after two Lilarcor's love thrusts to the face.

HA! He even realized he could not handle me alone, and called for assistance.

Mogadish was prepering something nasty, so The Codex gives him some Wand of Lightning treatment.

No flamestrike for you!

Kayardi moves to lower-level magic such as Fire Arrow.

Desperation tactics, huh? I have them now!

Ah! My poor skin! I'll kill you for this twice!

Another lightning kills off Mogadish, but The Codex gets hit with Melph's Acid Arrow by Kayardi. We start shooting him with magical arrows to bypass his spell protection.

Fuck, this acid hurts!

Time for healing, I think.

Eat arrows, dipshit!

Keep shooting, he must be really low on HP now.

Yes! YES!

No. NO!



Death count: 48

Loading.

What... What happenned?

I think you died from Melph's Acid Arrow damage over time. Kayardi probably managed to cast it twice.

Have you at least managed to save the game after killing them?

No.

I did however save it just before the combat.

Right between the ribs!

Forward!

No! Stop!

Fuck this shit.

HowAmISupposedToCastCloudKillNow?

Just keep shooting lightning bolts at them.

Ok, Togan is down.

WhatElseIsNew?

L.A.E. is gone.

Right.

Let'SlowThemDown!

BerserkerIsGone. Cloudkill!

Good idea.

Hey, Kayardi, catch some dispel!

Good job, Lilarcor!

Of course!

Entu chokes to death inside the Cloud Kill.

Good!

OhMyGodOhMyGod! Help!

The Codex gets hit by Symbol, Fear and fails his saving throw.

Help! ImBeingEatenByFrodoBagginsRetardedCousins!

Funny like Insane difficulty means The Codex also deals double damage to himself (here, with Cloud Kill). On the upside, at least Mogadish' Flame Strike failed due to Robe of Vecna's magic resistance.

AAAH! I can't breathe!

Mogadish finally croaks and we get a hefty 14K XP for him. The Codex saves against Domination but is still panicked.

I'm melting!

And I think that would be it for this attempt.

Yup.

Death count: 49

Load game.

That was a very unpleasant experience.

We would have won if You made that saving throw against fear, You know.

We would have won if you weren't such a dickhead, you know.

Trying again. Backstabbing Togan deals 19 damage.

KillElf!

Right away our Berserk Warrior goes hostile. I'm not sure if he got charmed or if something else happened.

L.A.E. does his duty and gets hit in the face by Maze. The Codex is stunned, however.

Togan is dead. This is not even funny anymore.

The Codex is affected by Chaos, which would not have happened if he wielded Lilarcor instead of the bow...

Mogadish Flame Strikes again.

And we're dead.

Death count: 50

Load.

That could have gone better.

WhyYouNoDieLittleMan?

And we're right in the middle of the next try. Kayardi went forward to tank for his party, which would be stupid if we had any way of wounding him at the moment. But we don't.

ThisGuyIsSeriouslyFuckingAnnoying!

Entu stuns The Codex with Ego Whip (whatever that is) right after we cast Slow on the halfling party.

Fucking OW!

The stun wears off, but Entu shows even more competence by dealing 40 damage to our hero.

IAmTheGreatShrimpInTheSky...

And The Codex gets confused by Kayardi's spell with Entu moving in to attack.

Which equals death.

Death count: 51

Loading.

That mage midget is a fucking butcher. He has to die.

I agree.

PaybackTime!

So instead of wasting our backstab on the relatively harmless Togan, we use it on Kayardi, before his protection spells are activated. This is not cheating, because he's hostile from the get-go.

This is not cheating because, at this point, seriously, fuck the world.

After that we retreat behind our summoned tanks. L.A.E. even kills something.

GoodJobElemental!

Kayardi is immune to Web and moves to tanking position again.

We cast Slow and after that Cloud Kill from outside his sight range.

And finally Dispell Magic to (hopefully) weaken Kayardi's protection.

Kayardi actually dies off screen.

HowAnticlimactic.

Don't care.

Same.

How's that flamestrike working for you now!?

We take Mogadish' remaining hit points with a backstab. All the halflings are dead.

I'd like to make a comment now.

Ok, go ahead.

Looks like they dropped some fine loot.

I remember those. They're gauntlents of ogre power, or something like that.

Entu had a nice long bow.

Pity I'm not using these anymore.

Indeed these are Gauntlets of Ogre Power. We can't identify the bow just yet, as glasses of identification are out of charges and The Codex' lore is insufficient.

What awaits us behind this door? You probably already know, but nevertheless, join us for the next update to see how it kills us we deal with it.

Yeah, good idea, let's stop here. I need a fucking break.

----------
Next time: we explore the depths of Planar Sphere and fight many foes.

None of them as annoying as these fucking halflings, I hope. Seriously.

 

[Storyfag]

Oh wow, that was spectacular. MOAR!

 

[Azira]

I fondly remember those halflings. Dark Sun halflings are indeed nasty little buggers.