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[LP CYOA] Epic

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by treave, Jun 23, 2012.

  1. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
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    I like Storyfag's plan. But we ought to remember why we're here: to make the first step in forging trust between us and Athena/Artemis. The more they trust Ean, the more likely they are to listen to his plans for rebellion and fight against the voices should they resurface. It'll make marriage and a more permanent alliance a distinct possibility down the road. I'm still voting A for now, but I'm considering something like this:

    F) We ask for no territorial concessions, no attempts at vassalization and no attempts to bring Greece into the lands of Shin'ar. Greece would remain independent and under Athena's rule - we just want to heal the wounds of the Aegean war and help with the aftermath of Olympus. Just let us help, no-strings-attached basically. She can have us on to advise, but she'll call the shots in Greece, with the exception of any actions around Olympus pertaining to Sumerian/Egyptian troops, of course.

    I'm not concerned about Athena's capability at ruling - I'm confident she'll make the right decisions. ScubaV noted that we had the upper hand in the negotiation here. But I think it's precisely because of that, that if we simply opt to relinquish that advantage when we have it, that Athena will appreciate it and trust us more. I also think that a generous offer like this would be a great example to our people of the sense of responsibility and compassion for their fellow bro in trouble that we want them to follow.

    Eventually we can request that Athena sends Artemis off to China to warn the immortals there of an impending Gieloth attack on their shores in five years. Fuck the twins, Artemis is a goddess of the hunt, so she's the perfect candidate to traverse the rough terrain and make it to China quickly. However, that should wait for later: asking her to do that with the offer I proposed above would make Athena rightly suspicious - she'll immediately find our offer suspect and assume that we want to get Artemis out of the way so that we can kill her and invade Greece more easily.

    But we really need to send Artemis to China soon. If the Greek Immortals can't here the voices, then the Chinese ones probably don't either. Without our information network to warn them, they would be completely blind to the Gieloth assault arriving shortly. I'm not at all surprised that the Olympians haven't been hearing the voices. Zeus was an avatar, and now that he's not here anymore, the voices have gone quiet. My theory is this: to easily transmit control for their immortals, the Masters need an avatar on the ground. Based on this, I'm pretty sure that the new Masters Inc., Regional Manager of Earth Operations has not arrived.

    More importantly, if Ean is truly doomed by his curse, at least he can use his limited time as a "good guy" to groom a successor that will protect mankind if his hunger drives him to madness. I see a lot of potential in Athena to fill Ean's role if he becomes unable to end his curse in time. The God-Empress of Mankind.

    I can think of only three ways of curing Ean's hunger for now, none of which are pretty: (1) curing the Gieloth curse, since it's related to ours. As dickish as the Masters seem, from what we have seen of the Gieloth, they probably had good reason to do so. I feel silly for even bringing this up, because the possibility of reversing the curse seems almost impossible given how insanely powerful the Masters are. And even if we could do it, it causes a shitload of other problems. (2) Becoming a slave of the Masters - this time, they'll make sure we get the "right" voices this time. They'll make sure that the commands we get are almost irresistible with all the trouble we've caused them. This might not be too bad - if Shulgi was able to dominate the voices, it's certainly possible for Ean. (3) Find Vajra in the Warp, offer it to the Masters in exchange for a cure. The Masters created immortals, so they'd know how to fix them. Sadly, this is probably our best bet at the moment.

    Whatever it's going to be, I'm certain the price for a cure is going to be steep.
     
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  2. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    First of all, good stuff.

    Hmmm... I don't think that she's naive enough not to take Ean for a ride. You know, use us to defend her nation from Olympus and get hers back on track and when she's ready (or when the Masters come back and make her) just stab us in the back. Someone named "Goddess of Wisdom" is not naive, she'll know (or think she knows, sometimes people want to believe certain things) that we're playing at an angle here anyway, so this kind of concession can shoot into "too good to be true" territory. We're owning her, completely, in debate right now, sowhy not just do this: propose to make her Empress and lay our cards on the table and cut the bullshit. Blunt truth can do wonders too and if she refuses and resorts to hostility (womyn cannot into diplomacy /Lyric Suite), well, we just kill 'em all and use the poacher excuse.
    If it starts to look like we're loosing her, then we tell her to come along with us (the others can come, too) and observe. If she likes what she sees, awesome. If not, oh well, we just won a couple of years that our influence and forces spread in Greece, good luck winning sweetheart.

    I'm with you on Artemis, in addition to all you said, the other Immortals will trust one of their own much, much more.

    As for your God Empress plan: I'm not all too enthusiastic giving control to her when the voices can return at any time. Followed rather shortly by a Master. No, breed some children (like Nebuchadnezzar, Alexander, etc...) from Immortal/Gieloth stock and leave them in charge, royal line and all. And when the evil starts getting to us, take our meticulously assembled team and jump into Olympus.

    About the Gieloth: let's not make hasty assumptions. Yes, the ones we've seen so far have been rather large dickwads. I get that, but you forgot to factor in two things: 1) they are doing this because they, literally, must and 2) I get the feeling that Marduk went apeshit because he became too corrupted from all his devouring. We must find out what the hell is going on between the Masters and Gieloth (treave also said that they severed the portal between this dimension and the Masters', maybe because they were getting tired of being toyed with. The hunger and genocide could just be revenge for that.) I can't stress enough that Sekhenun and Ean must strike a deal of loyalty and friendship. Her dying end the Gieloth effort to find alternate travel methods to "eat fucking everything" (fucking fatasses).
     
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  3. ScubaV Prophet

    ScubaV
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    What does F say to all the Greeks who rejected Athena and Artemis's attempts to subvert us? Plus the too good to be true stuff Baltika mentioned. I'm sticking to A.
     
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  4. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
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    The individual city-states are desperate, ScubaV. Otherworldly abominations were rampaging through Greece with impunity before we arrived, of course people are going to accept help if it means that they're safe from harm. To your average Greek, it doesn't matter whether that help comes from Athena or the God-Emperor of Shi'ar. It's not that they have any great love for Babylon, quite the contrary, they're joining us because Athena/Artemis were MIA at the time (they only showed up last year) and various city-states had no real alternatives to turn to.

    Baltika9, you are overthinking this shit. Athena's position is weak, she is desperate and the only thing really holding her back from accepting a favourable deal is pride:

    She knows that the Greeks need help to solve the Rift situation, she's just reluctant to admit it. If Ean appeals to her sense of duty with something like "The Terasphagos pose a grave threat to both of our peoples. It is my duty to protect my people, just as it is your duty to protect yours. That is why we must put the war behind us and come together to fight this threat so we can protect both our countries and heal the wounds from the Aegean War. United we stand divided we fall blah blah blah" it will work. Athena is the type that's willing to put grudges aside and work together towards a common goal (i.e. the opposite of Ares, who I accurately judged) so if we just appealed to her nature, I feel that she'd be willing to work with us.

    There is the possibility that she'll think that the offer is too good to be true, but it won't be hard to remind her that the Terasphagos threat is a serious danger to both our new Empire and to Greece. No man is an island. Vassalizing her risks stirring her pride and won't establish trust the way that a more generous offer would. We really need to work quickly here, so that we can get on track with sending an emissary to China soon.

    treave, it seems our men are holding off the Terasphagos very well. Is this due in part to morale/faith in the Emperor?
     
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  5. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    Wounding her pride? Vassalizing her? I'm offering to make her Empress, no bullshit. That's the opposite of those two things.
    Besides, we know Ean's coming back into Greece. She knows it. Why tiptoe around it? Goddess of Wisdom, even without the voices, implies she can, at least somewhat, see through bullshit.

    Oh, and also, the Greeks were refusing to support them.
    Giving Greece back to her would be rather insulting. We're the Emperor now. If we want to be a good Emperor, we'd better think about the bigger-than-big picture.

    Edit: And I'm not entirely sure that she would agree to leaving our men in Olympus. That both undermines her credibility in the eyes of her people ("Lulz, I know I told you I would protect you, but let the Imperium handle it. Derp") and leave an invasion force right fucking there in her borders. She would have to be completely stupid to trust a dude she just met like that. She doesn't know that Ean is pretty much Jesus-only-better right (for) now.

    Edit 2: If all other arguments to marry her fail, tell her this: "Look, you really want to lose out, not that you stand a chance, to a Gieloth?":smug: Use our newfound trolling skill tree.

    Oooh, it'll be on then.

    Edit 3: And am I the only one who thinks that Marduk, Zeus and Ares will return as Nurgle, Tzeench and Khorne?
     
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  6. oscar Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    oscar
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    I'm thinking B at the moment. We already have control of Greece, it would seem a shame to give it up (especially when people have resisted these immortals attempts at prying the Greeks away from us).

    Unlike Akilhotep and Nabuchasar, Athena is an immortal which means we will likely have to deal with her potential plotting and machinations for as long as the Empire exists. I can't imagine Athena happily staying under our thumb for all eternity.
     
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  7. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    But I can see her happily staying under Ean for all eternity.
    Edit: speaking of which, this is how we break the subject to her: "You know what would look goo on you? Me!"

    Edit:
    :greatjob:
    I think the solution just presented itself.
     
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  8. Kukulkan Learned

    Kukulkan
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    A
    Annex Greece and crush the Hittites later. Our empire shall stretch from Pakistan to Britannia.
     
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  9. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
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  10. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Codex 2012
    Intermission: Terasphagos (~1890 B.C. / 5 A.C.)

    Origins:
    Unknown, but they launch their attacks from within the miasma around Olympus from which none have ever returned.


    Biology:
    They have been spotted feeding on any organic material. The vicinity of Olympus is now a barren wasteland thanks to the Terasphagos. For the past five years, two distinct forms have been observed: a smaller, six limbed, insectoid type the size of a cat, and a larger, four-limbed version that is the size and shape of a big hound. All Terasphagos have six eyes around their head and glowing patterns that do not serve any identifiable purpose. Current theory is that they may play a role in communication. Their bodies are covered with a hard but thin shell. Terasphagos that have been captured alive do not live for long: the oldest recorded specimen survived only up to two months after its capture. Dissection reveals a strong musculature and many redundant organs and vessels. They have a circulatory and nervous system, but despite their feeding there is no discernible digestive tract. The oral cavity merely leads into a large sac nestled within the abdomen. Reproductive systems appear to be non-existent. The amount of redundant material partially explains their ability to take massive wounds and continue fighting. This holds true for both forms.

    Behaviour:
    The Terasphagos demonstrate the ability to differentiate between friend and foe, but beyond that they appear to have no reasoning ability. They will attempt to eat any living thing that is not Terasphagos. Occasionally the insectoid forms will attempt to abduct living things back to the rift by swarming the target, restraining it, and carrying it away.

    Countermeasures:
    The Terasphagos are, on a one-to-one basis, stronger and tougher than any human. They also swarm in groups of hundreds. Basic tactical countermeasures are to deal with each as a pair, dealing with them as one would a dangerous beast, and such measures have brought about success whenever humans outnumber Terasphagos. However, if a larger group of Terasphagos catches a smaller band of humans, fatality rates are near total, with almost everyone either eaten or abducted. Terasphagos do not appear to be able to deal with fortifications, lacking the mentality to efficiently besiege a wall, and for now that seems to be the best way to contain them.

    ~ Sekhenun's notes on the Terasphagos.
     
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  11. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Meditation helps.
    No.
    Can be a jerk and make chillingly pragmatic decisions but not outright evil.
    Yes.
    There is no Renegade scale.
    As Emperor you grab all the collars you want, when you want.
     
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  12. Tigranes Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Tigranes
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    I'm sticking with A too - Esquilax I think it goes too far, in personal negotiations of favours we might offer such benevolence to Athena, but we are a fairly newly created Empire and at the level of politics, such benevolence is seen as sign of weakness rather than strength in most instances. I think A is reasonable enough, especially since Athena in this setting is not a true God with some fanatical loyalty to Greek sovereignty, but an immortal who has strong ties to Greece and wants to oversee and protect it. Surely she will recognise that, especially as Artemis seems more willing to work with us.
     
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  13. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    Very well. Joining the A-voters.
     
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  14. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    It looks like the A alliance has the majority vote, which does not seem likely to change. Let’s move on with the update.

    ***

    Chapter 6.4: The Gutian Dilemma

    “Queen?” snarled Athena. “You think I am here to beg you for power? You offer to turn Greece into my personal queendom and demand my loyalty in return? Let me tell you this; immortals are duty-bound to guide and protect the people, not to rule over them as you have. I know that not many of them listen to me right now, but I would much rather work at regaining their faith on my own than have you simply hand Greece over to me, in some devious plan to gain my favour – as if you had all the right in this world to do as you wish with the lands of Greece, after its people elected to trust you with their stewardship! You are a despicable schemer, Emperor of Babylon and Egypt.”
    You let her rant, wondering if you had made the right choice after all. It appears that she had not desired to rule, only that you ceased your meddling in Greek lands. Still, you do not understand why she is so upset: this was surely more than she bargained for.

    “This is the offer that I make, Athena. You may dislike it, but do you disagree that this gives you the best way to reconnect with your people?” You respond calmly only after she has stopped talking, not wanting to interrupt her.

    “Athena.” Artemis laid a hand on her shoulder.

    “I know, Artemis. It pains me to admit this, but this scum is right about the resources we do not have… I just needed to express myself. You have my apologies for the outburst, Emperor. We will accept your offer.” She removes her helmet and bows her head to you. When she raises it, however, her eyes are full of scorn. “I will be Queen of Greece, and I will show the people just how misplaced their trust was in you.”

    ***

    You crowned the new Queen of Greece before you returned to Sumeria. Although you were certain Athena would be doing her best to undermine your authority in her kingdom from now on, you also knew that she would not do anything to endanger the lives of the men defending Greece from the Terasphagos. As Queen she had authority over the men of Greece, but the soldiers stationed around Olympus were mostly Egyptian and Sumerian, and they still answered to Akilhotep and Nabuchasar – which was to say, they answered to you. If she was a general of your empire, directly under your command, things would be different, but immediately granting command of Egyptian and Sumerian soldiers to a Greek queen would be a tricky matter to explain. For now, you decide to keep Athena removed from the chain of command of the defending armies until you can have her meet with the kings of Sumeria and Egypt.

    Upon your return, you find that things with the Gutians had not gone well. The mountain tribes of the east had somehow been warned of Gudersu’s arrival and ambushed him before he even reached the Assyrian city of Ashur. They did not have much liking for his tribe, seeing them as having deserted the Gutian country to live a life of luxury as a Babylonian lapdog. When you reached Ashur, Gudersu was still in critical condition. You brought Sekhenun with you to see what she can do for his condition. His wounds were severe, and one of his legs had begun to rot. She removed it. Gudersu remained feverish for the next week, and then, testament to his fortitude, began to recover. The big guy would survive. His fellow tribesmen were baying for blood against their Gutian brethren, angry at this sudden turn of events. The years spent wandering in Sumeria, separate from the other Gutians, had hardened their hearts against the ones who they think abandoned them to flee back into the mountains, fearing Marduk’s wrath. In the mean time, the Gutians had continued their raids against the Assyrian farmlands and trade caravans.

    ***

    A. It looks like Marduk had the right idea. You begin a campaign of extermination against the Gutians. Gudersu’s tribe are more than happy to help, as they almost lost him and definitely lost more than a few of their own in the ambush.

    B. You lead a few punitive raids personally, showing the Gutians why exactly they should not be messing around with you, but progress no further than that.

    C. You offer diplomacy to the Gutians – it worked well with the Greeks in the end, surely it would work well with them. You set a date and time for a meeting at a neutral place, asking their leaders to come and speak with you.

    D. You do nothing. You are a lazy emperor.
     
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  15. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    Told ya he needed more bodyguards, thankfully Sekhenun was back home and it didn't come to needing bodyguards in Greece. Sadly, much as I want to exterminatus the morons, now that we have an almost rebellious queen in Greece (by the way, she's just like young Ean. Isn't that just cute?), losing which would be a great blow to our reputation and by chain our rule. So would doing nothing.

    B. But make it brutal. And then tell them to surrender to us or fucking die. Nobody messes with our men and gets out scot-free.
     
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  16. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    B. We can try diplomacy after we have shown we have nothing to fear from them. If we go straight to diplomacy with barbarians it just shows we are scared.
     
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  17. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    Looks like someone is behind the Gutians...

    B and if they refuse to surrender, A

    And it seems that previously choice B whould've worked
     
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  18. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
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    B is a bad idea because it's a half-measure, it isn't going to stop the raids. Either pick A and wipe out the Gutians as Marduk did or remain in Greece with D (which is what I think that this option really entails). There's a reason why Marduk chose to supress them so brutally, and that's because their raiding was a nuisance to his authority.

    Marduk had the right idea here:

    The other Gutian tribes fled after Marduk was wiping them out, they'll do the same now.

    B
     
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  19. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    B is a half-measure but it is the best option here. I don't want to wipe them out, but I believe C won't work without a show of force. We should find out what they want and hire them if possible. What would be a better way to find a way to china than employ whole tribes of hardy and nomadic barbarians?
     
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  20. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    treave, will we be able to make a choice about the Gutians after this update, or should those of that want it just go ahead and vote B ->A? Basically, I want to remind them who exactly they're fucking with and tell them that they work for us now and if they don't like it, well boo-fucking-hoo. Should have never attacked BROdersu then.
     
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  21. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    You can see how they react and respond accordingly after this choice.
     
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  22. Smashing Axe Arcane Patron

    Smashing Axe
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    Oh well, looks like the last A was a bad idea. Athena's hard to read. I'm in favour of B with the contingencies newcomer listed.

    B

    I'm kind of concerned however that this is a trap devised by another immortal designed to lure us out, either as an ambush or to take control of the empire while we are campaigning. We'll have to see.

    Edit: I've since become convinced that this is an evil Shulgi trick. The best course of action is to do nothing.

    D
     
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  23. Anabanana Augur

    Anabanana
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    We should've gone with Esquilax's F. :(

    A. This is the best way to ferret out whoever's behind the Gutians, I think. With Sekhe remaining behind to keep an eye on the empire, we should be all right. Hopefully.

    Switching to B.
     
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  24. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Reasoning was that it's hard not to think you're being made a fool of when you know you have some trouble getting support among the Greeks yet this guy offers to just make you their queen. It smacks of a political ploy to her, where you just want your very own Greek god to use as a puppet to rule Greece. Of course, being the puppet she can at least work against the system from within it, so she accepts it. Regardless of your actual intentions, noble or not, that's what she thinks of this deal.

    Edit: preemptive explanation: when I namedrop Marduk's genocide, I do mean A will have Ean wiping out every Gutian man, woman and child he can reach and doesn't bend two knees to him. No half measures.
     
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  25. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    Why do you suspect there is a immortal behind these raids? Gutians were afraid of Marduk and fled, and once they learned Marduk had died they came back. Not necessarily Shulgi's devious plan to get us.
     
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