The Will That Prevails
I pick up the dagger, testing its weight in my hand. It is almost perfectly balanced, a masterpiece of craftsmanship. The old emblem of the Shinar, the unending sword, is emblazoned on the hilt.
“So, have you decided-“ The old man begins to speak, but his mouth stops moving when my eyes meet his. His smile changes; it is not so mocking now, but more grim, a thin, unwilling line stretched across his face. Kyrie’s grip around my arm tightens as she looks away and whispers, “You idiot.” I won’t kill Rei to save myself, no matter what reason I give myself. That path slid back into the darkness that I had crawled out of.
He snorts, placing one hand over the top of his black cane and twisting it. With a single, smooth action, he draws the blade that had been sheathed within. “Noble sentiments? You disappoint me, Senya.” he says. “No more words.”
Darting forwards, he sinks the sword into my original body and carves my ribcage open with a few deft flicks. I see a bit of my exposed, beating heart for just a few seconds before the old man runs his blade through it. Dark red blood begins to gush out, flooding the chest cavity. The complexion of my real body begins to pale immediately, my lips turning white. Kyrie gives a stifled shriek, though she remains at my side. I can tell that every bit of her instinct is screaming at her to interfere, but she wills it under control, trusting in my decision. If she made any rash movements now, if she could by any chance be discovered…
“You idiotic idiot.” she whispers again.
“Sorry.” I apologize.
“I’m never forgiving you.”
I can’t respond to that, as my body freezes rigid.
For a moment I look at myself and the world through two pairs of eyes – the me that is bleeding to death, and the me that is about to be terminated. Then, my vision resolves into one, as I see myself collapse limply besides Kyrie, like a puppet with its strings cut. The sudden pain in my chest hits me like a truck. I cough and choke, blood bubbling out from between my lips. The old man’s stab had also done me the courtesy of nicking the lung. Every time I strain to breathe the pain hammers itself home, making itself a very unwelcome guest in my head. I can feel the tentacles writhing underneath my skin; with great effort, I manage to get them to freeze the wound. A numbing coldness in my body spreads – this won’t save me, but it will keep me alive for a while longer. I’ve already lost too much blood to survive this. My breathing slows and grows heavy, and I manage to pull together a grin at the old man.
He glares back at me, as if my continued existence offends him personally. Maybe it does. Nothing is more annoying than someone who refuses to die.
“Look,” I say, my speech slightly slurred. “I’m going to die willingly, yes, but I didn’t say I was going to make it quick.”
The old man grimaces, but in the next second his expression turns blank briefly, before a sinister smile spreads across his face. The large dog has padded over to his side, growling at me. “Rory, Mikey. Dispose of this specimen so that we can move on to the next phase.” They step forward as one, nodding. With a brilliant flash of blue light, an ornate stave appears in each of their hands. The distinctive prongs at each end makes it clear that these are Vajra. The very air begins to hum, charged with power, as they point their staves at me.
Two sapphire lances of crackling energy shoot forward, spearing my body. Every one of my nerves scream in pain, threatening to shut down on me. That would have been better, really, but unfortunately their threats are nothing more than threats and they continue to hang on stubbornly, allowing me to experience every bit of pain as I… fail to die.
As the energy subsides, while I can barely see through my half open eyes, I can hear Mikey and Rory’s puzzled voices.
“Did you dial down the setting?”
“No, I had it set on instant incineration. My Vajra is working fine. Perhaps it’s yours?”
Even as they bicker, I can feel myself getting steadily stronger. The pain subsides, the cold recedes. When my sight recovers, I look, first at Kyrie, who is huddled in a corner of the room, her back turned to me, and then at the old man, who has a curious expression on his face. Then, I finally realize what is going on.
I don’t even need to look at Rei to sense the bond that connects us; I am draining her power to feed my own survival. Fire and ice struggle inside me before finding a balance. As I feel warmth begin to return to my limbs, I also realize, with a sinking feeling and a growing understanding of the process, that I cannot stop this. Draining is the wrong word to use. I am taking back what was once mine, making myself whole again. Here, at the only point in all the realities that the Observer’s laws cannot reshuffle to preserve my existence, this was the only logical path that the records of fate found to ensure my survival.
The ritual had failed for her. Rei had died. She only lived because I had willed it; I had unconsciously shared my power with her. Only now do I understand what I did then.
Now, I am retaking my power, and I also understand that only means one thing for Rei.
This is how it should have been, Senya.
A fragment of her thoughts sinks into my mind as the power that has kept her alive all these years – my power - returns to my control. Causality rearranges itself, and Rei’s body vanishes as if she had never been there at all, just as if I had deleted her from the records myself. A price to be paid for anything… everything. I can feel the Observer’s keen eye upon me. I grit my teeth. That bastard. It will have its turn.
The ropes binding me unravel, and I am free, with not even a hint of the mortal wound I had suffered. I catch Kyrie looking at me, her eyes shining with tears and her hands over her mouth, and I give her the nod that tells her to back out of the room because I’m about to cut loose. She gets it, of course.
Meanwhile, the old man laughs, apparently tickled pink by what just happened. “You are such a failure, Hoshikawa Senya. You cannot even die without killing the person you are dying for! Now, stop mucking about and open the door for me.”
I breathe in deeply. Surprisingly, the old man seems to know what I am thinking as he hurriedly gestures at Rory and Mikey. They nod, and like a flash of lightning, they appear above and behind me, their lances ready to strike. At the same time, the dog lunges at me, a Vajra crackling into existence between its teeth. I can’t help but smile at the ludicrousness of that.
Then, I drain the colour from the world, exerting enough pressure to smash all three of them into the floor without even twitching a finger. The lightning that was building up in their weapons fizzle out in a messy shower of sparks. The assorted tables and panels around me are blown away into dust immediately, though the Masters manage to retain their form, a shimmering veil protecting them from the worst of my attack. I ignore the ones who have attacked me and step forward, past the frozen Stella, who has been forced to her knees, and towards the old man.
Although the others are barely able to move under their shields, the old man still remains standing. Grinning, though I can see that his knees are shaking from the effort of remaining upright before me.
“Well, it looks like I bit off more a bit more than I could chew,” he coughs, his back quivering and bent.
“Yeah, that’s really unfortunate. Awakening phenomenal cosmic power and everything.” I smile.
“Oh, you have power, I admit. And it is phenomenal from where I am standing, but it is not cosmic. Not yet. You need to access Iae to fully tap into your potential.” His voice drops into a sly whisper. “You want to bring back the girl, don’t you? You know you can only do it if you overthrow the Great Idea.”
He is right, but I don’t need him to be alive. My hand lashes out and grabs his throat. Strangely, this only makes his grin grow wider.
“Oh, you hate me, don’t you? You want to kill me. Ah, silly me, of course you do. But you can’t. Let me tell you why.” He leans forward, his wrinkled lips mocking me. “If any of us die, your universe will be deleted. Did you expect us not to set up such insurance?”
My fingers tighten reflexively. I would not put it past them; in fact, I would expect this man to do such a thing.
“Be gentle, Senya. I am an old man. My heart may give up at any moment if you’re too rough. Now, I’m not going to tell you to let me go, oh poor me, or anything like that. No. I will tell you how to kill me, and my colleagues, without destroying everything else you hold dear.”
“I can remake whatever you destroy,” I say dismissively.
“If you are confident of taking on Iae by yourself. Whereas that might have been possible when it was a passive existence, your contact with Iae has changed it, as much as it has changed you. Even if you manage to subdue it, there is no guarantee you will be able to successfully recover every piece of information that we delete. Do you want to chance that your loved ones might be among some of the lost? There is information that is more… fragile than most… shall we say?” The old man cackles, and instantly I know that he is talking about Kyrie. Even if she is here, right now, she is still information belonging to my universe. I never succeeded in transferring the victims of the Gray Death into another reality; if the universe is destroyed right now, she will go along with it… and with things as they are there is a high chance a lot of the information from the destroyed universe would be corrupted irrevocably.
“Once you become the new god, Senya, you can manipulate almost everything as you see fit. It would be a trivial matter to erase us while keeping your universe safe then. Of course, I’m not even going to pretend that I’ll be helping you. That sort of pretense insults both of us. No, I will fight you every step of the way for my own goals, Senya. Do you know why?”
He drops his grin, his face suddenly serious.
“You are as flawed as the Great Idea, being an offshoot of it. Allowing you to be the new god would only lock you into the same limitations that it has. We would only be postponing our doom, and I, Diogenes Camna, cannot allow that.”
Diogenes Camna’s shrivelled fingers clasp around my wrist. His grip is strong. The grin returns, mocking, probing, jeering.
“So, how about it? The only safe way to destroy me is to open the way for us. One final showdown for the divine throne, once we have cast down its occupant. Are you willing to take that gamble, Hoshikawa Senya, or will you kill me right here and now?”
***
A. I spare Diogenes Camna. He is not my ally, and definitely my enemy, but for now I cannot afford to kill him. I will deal with things as they come.
B. I kill Diogenes Camna. I will not spare him to live another moment. If that means sacrificing the universe, so be it.
