Inactive [LP CYOA] Overlord

[Baltika9]

B, duh. We're barely twenty and we're impotent. This is a big deal. I suspect the same thing as ScubaV, that we can only be aroused by bloodlust.

 

[Kayerts]

Bros, we forgot to buff our dick stat and fell prey to Tasha's Uncontrollable Limp Dick! Now we have to level up so we can cast Summon The Celestial Boner, I guess?

Also, you know Rin was watching this whole exchange and thinking, "If only Zayan had cut her hair short and turned around and spoken to Erd in a gruff voice. Overcoming one's nature is not easy."

 

[Grimgravy]

A

 

[lightbane]

Haha nice one treave! I'm guessing that it's one of two things: 1) while physically mature for a human, Erd is young enough that his angel form is not. Or (and I suspect more likely) 2) he can only be aroused by bloodlust.

Would that mean that for Angels, love can bloom in the battlefield?

[...]"Your most trusted partner who had been with you since birth. Had all those years of careful preservation and care meant nothing to the traitorous worm?"

Perhaps the issue is way easier to understand than we thought. In his Hero days, Erd spent too much time checking these "noFap" webpages magazines and suffered unforeseen consequences as a result.

 

[Elfberserker]

B

Well we could get favor of gods to restore our dicks vitality like zhang manxing back in the legend.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

B - of course.

Clearly we need to take a lesson from Zhang Manxing and get into some violence with our conquests - which is probably what gets it up from carnage pigeons anyway.

Had all those years of careful preservation and care meant nothing to the traitorous worm?

Confirmed for virgin.

 

[ScubaV]

Well, Erd's fall to the darkness (?) did start by trying to get laid no matter the cost... Then spectacularly backfiring in the most disastrous way possible.

Yes, this does seem thematically appropriate. Flopping to Boner.

 

[treave]

What about the other choices? Which ones won? Do we get a regeneration pod? Do the golems have a gender and/or specialty?

Three sexless golems, each with a different specialization, and a regen pod. You can get your wing back soon, but you'll have to hide two wings instead of one.

Still, how did Zayan learn that our main character was both an Angel and an unique one to boot? Unless Mercant immediately dropped his fancy clothes upon arriving to Grahferde, she couldn't possibly have enough time to figure out all of this. Granted, perhaps she asked the goblins about the issue, but it's still a bit of a stretch.

Upon selecting the choice to keep Zayan, you revealed yourself to her in the interim so that she knows beforehand what she will be dealing with. It was pretty clear that trying to hide it from someone like her would have caused more problems than you could be bothered to deal with. Just didn't write up that part. As for being unique, your smell gave it away.

 

[Baltika9]

Very important to Erdrick, personally, and it will impact his psyche should you choose to be psychologically affected by this setback. As it is not a goal that can be achieved by just sitting in Grahferde and waiting for the solution to drop in your lap, you will, as the choice suggests, have to be very active in finding the answer. For example, you might want to track down an angel to ask them just what is up with your dong, or visit monster species with powerful aphrodisiacs so Zayan can get a sample, that sort of thing. At points you might find yourself doing much the same things you might be doing otherwise, just with a very different bent to it.

Considering that this LP has a strong feeling of parody and satire on the typical J/RPG, I find the idea of a Dark Lord tearing down nations, executing complex political schemes and building gigantic and vaguely phallic monuments to his glory because of his impotence hilarious.
Doubly so when the truth about our homosexual nature is revealed and the Hero comes to fight us with a different kind of sword.
I'm looking forward to it.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Three sexless golems, each with a different specialization, and a regen pod. You can get your wing back soon, but you'll have to hide two wings instead of one.

Sexless golems for a sexless PC. Typical codex.

Considering that this LP has a strong feeling of parody and satire on the typical J/RPG, I find the idea of a Dark Lord tearing down nations, executing complex political schemes and building gigantic and vaguely phallic monuments to his glory because of his impotence hilarious.

Pretty sure most villains are like this, albeit figuratively in most cases.

Doubly so when the truth about our homosexual nature is revealed and the Hero comes to fight us with a different kind of sword.

Always with the projecting.

 

[lightbane]

You can get your wing back soon, but you'll have to hide two wings instead of one

Cool. What happened with these looted recovered books from that ill-fated expedition we encountered back in Chapter 1? One of these had basic illusion magic IIRC. Are these still accessible? Also, can we assume Erd automatically improves his "Google translation" spell between time-skips, or is that a course of action we must choose to follow? Otherwise, we'll have a hard time with his inability to read and mistranslations of certain words (usually at the worst timing possible).

EDIT:

Erd confirmed for virgin.

I thought that was a given. I mean, otherwise he wouldn't have been as desperate as to betray the entire human race for a minimal chance to get laid, no? And then preserve the severed corpse of another woman hoping that she'll be revived (and open to Erd's advances).

 

[Nevill]

for a sexless PC. Typical codex.

There is more than one way to skin a cat.

The Codex always thinks of strapons.

Tally

Nevill B
Azira B
TOME A
lightbane A
Gobblecock A
ScubaV B
Kipeci B
asxetos A
Kz3r0 B
Jester B
Rex Feral B
Baltika9 B
Grimgravy A
Elfberserker B
Lambchop19 B

Limp Dick Lobby - 5
Hard-on Camp - 10

 

[lightbane]

And so, Erd gains a new motivation to start working hard and put more effort on exploring this new world: the chance to have his hyperweapon ready for use. Not that different from the start of this LP, come to think of it.
Erd's companions will possibly freak out once they see him so determined for possibly the first time of his life. Still, I guess it's fine as long as this doesn't turn into a more "animesque" Corruption of Champions/Fall of Eden CYOA, or worse, a Monster Girl Quest CYOA.

That reminds me: since Erd has a human soul inside an Angelic body, doesn't that mean he's technically a reverse Otherkin?
Lastly, which are Zayan's stats? Why isn't she considered a companion? I suppose she must have crazy-high magic-related attributes and the latter is because she won't move from HQ.

 

[archaen]

We can use our merchant skills once we find the cure to our predicament to take over the world. "Strong enough for an Angel will make you strong enough for her.*"

*May cause stroke, heart attack, exploding penis, blood clots in all extremeties and in many cases death.

 

[treave]

A Second Trip

You stride swiftly and purposefully through the goblin village. With every step you take, ecstatic goblins exalt your name and follow behind you. They had not seen their god in nearly a week, and such a reaction was perhaps understandable. You walk past the half-built towers, the featureless golems working away tirelessly at it brick by brick as the goblin children dart under and around their legs, and head towards the newly completed dome that had been built over what used to be the old great hall. Inside, they are waiting for you; Boss, Robust and Runde are standing stiff and upright in some sort of strange, silly-looking salute Rin has taught them, while Rin herself is already sitting at the large wooden table placed before the ancient statue of the Demon God. Zayan, Aria and Arlin are on either side of her.

For some reason, Lucy is tethered to the statue. “She wanted to be here too to greet your return,” explained Aria when your eyebrows raise quizzically. “You were away for some time, Master.”

Indeed you had. The revelation of your impotence had shocked you and scarred you, but more importantly, it had given you something to think about. After letting your companions know when you would be back, you had ventured into the forest alone with no food nor drink, seeking a path to follow. It was an ascetic wandering that the monks of your world commonly practiced when seeking answers to their personal struggles.

The first thing that they usually realized was that starvation was a bitch.

The first thing you had realized was that their ordeals did not apply to you: though you felt the common cravings of hunger and thirst, a lack of sustenance did not weaken you, at least not noticeably.

The second thing you had realized was that it was really, really boring, and that not being human anymore didn’t make the wilds any less comfortable to sleep in.

The third thing that you had realized, rather belatedly, was that you had not conducted what Althus had snidely referred to as the ‘ritual of self-purification’ ever since you arrived here. That should have been a very loud warning as to what had gone wrong with your body, but it had been lost in all of the other, myriad matters swirling around in your mind.

That you could no longer perform said ritual at all was the fourth thing you realized. Tragic, but predictable.

The end of your isolation only reinforced what you already knew you had to do, and so you returned to Grahferde with a new-found determination. Swooping into the hall, you take your seat at the head of the table. Leaning forward, you rest your elbows upright on the rough wooden surface and steeple your fingers together thoughtfully. The others wait to hear you speak, curiosity etched on their faces. Though Rin looks more bored than curious to your eyes.

“We have a problem.”

Rin cocks her head, “What problem?”

“Do not look so unconcerned. It involves your father’s legacy, and you too by extension,” you say. Instantly, her eyes sharpen, and her posture stiffens. “I have been doing some thinking,” you continue, “and come to the conclusion that we have not been very efficient with our use of time. Things can be improved, especially now that there are a couple of issues we have to address.”

“What issues are those, O Shining One?” Boss says, representing the goblins in this meeting. “Have we failed you? Displeased you? Just say the word and we will try our best to improve! Or die trying!”

“The goblins have done nothing wrong,” says Rin heatedly.

“No, but you have,” you snap, suddenly irritable. If not for her father, you would not be in this situation at all.

“This is about that business at Yuiria, isn’t it? The kidnapping plan?”

“I wasn’t planning to bring it up, but since you did… sure. Let’s address that issue, Rinnefiela. Perhaps you would like to run any plans through me before you pull any stupid stunts like that again?”

“We are equals, Erdrick Mercant. I do not need your permission to do anything. Yes, I screwed up by not expecting how fragile a Knight-Captain of this kingdom could be, but on the other hand, you could have followed through with the plan and brought the waif’s corpse here instead of making it a total waste! I am sure Zayan could have done something with it!”

“Huh? What? Me?” Zayan drops a scroll that she had been scribbling on. “I could probably have done something, but there is little point bringing that up now, is there? Do not draw me into this little quarrel, please, and if you are to engage in domestic violence, I would request that you do it outside of the dome. My golems just finished building it and I would like it to stay that way, thank you.”

Rin glares at you, and you at her. Then, you sigh and wave your hand dismissively. “I have more important things to worry about than this at the moment.” You have to focus on what is important. Namely, your inability to get it up. “Aria, Arlin, what is the news from Erise?” As Rin stews and sulks, you turn your attention to the twins.

“They haven’t heard anything about the Knight-Captain’s death, so we might be clear on that front,” says Aria eagerly.

“Rumours of that large adventurer’s expedition we heard about have spread all the way here, though,” adds Arlin. “They do not seem to be setting off yet, but it may happen sometime in the near future. Maybe in a month or two. There’s even talk of adding some regular soldiers to the mix.”

“Zayan, is there anything you can do about that?”

“I would need more details to draw up a plan,” she says indifferently. “Give me those details, then we can talk.”

It looks like you have a minimum of one month before you have to deal with the adventurers. “Now, we can get into the main issue at hand,” you say. “Zayan, what can you tell us about angels?”

She nods, and launches into a lecture. According to her, the origins of angels are shrouded in mystery. The way the humans tell it, they were biological weapons of war created by the Demon God in a last ditch effort to stave off his defeat, but according to the tales of the non-human races, they were created by the Five Gods as instruments of death and terror. Both stories shared a single similarity: the angels turned out to be uncontrollable, and wreaked havoc on both sides. Different stories presented different angels: there were those with two wings, those with four, or even six. The wings were either white, or blood red. At times they were described with halos, and at other times with none. Little else is known for certain, and what information there is can mainly be found in dark children’s tales full of blood and dismemberment where single angels depopulated entire cities just because there was a naughty child or two residing within. Apparently the angelic race did not believe in the concept of proportionate punishment. Zayan seems to think that these myths indicate angels were not created by the Demon God or the Five Gods.

Looking at Rin until she acquiesces to glance at you again, you say, “I think it is important to figure out everything we can about angels, seeing that as I am one.”

She nods reluctantly. “I… I suppose that is right. It would be helpful to know what you can do and what you might become. How are you going to go about it?”

“About that… us goblins, we have some ideas,” says Boss suddenly. “We have been insular for a long time, but ever since you arrived we have been scouting further and further afield in preparation for your glorious revelation to the world, Shining One. One of my scouts reported a possible dryad sighting a few days travel to the north of here. Tree spirits. At least, that’s what we reckon from the old stories.”

Runde brings out a map and shows you the location. “It’ll be somewhere close to Galbaldian territory. Dryads are… quite long-lived, Master, and the oldest ones are said to be quite wise. They could shed some light on angels, I’m sure.”

“If you could find some slimes, they might also be helpful,” says Zayan knowingly, giving your crotch the briefest of glances. “The slime’s ability to manipulate their own physiology and biochemistry is unparalleled. They could have some useful compounds to… ah, aid you in understanding your bodily functions better.”

“Why don’t we just go and find a real angel?” asks Rin bluntly. “Wasn’t Methuss supposed to be keeping one?”

“We don’t know where they would be keeping it, do we?” replies Aria. “We can’t exactly turn over the entire capital looking for it, especially after what happened.”

“No, I have a fairly good idea of where they might keep one,” you say suddenly. That is, of course, if the rumours are true. The Barzamites had called the Methussian angel enslaved. Kept against its will. If that is the case, and if angels are really as powerful as they are said to be, there is only one place in the capital that would work. Hopefully it is a female angel. You do not even want to consider the possibility that all angels were dicks. That is just depressing.

Each of them has given you good suggestions on where to start, and you plan to get on it as soon as you can.

"If you ask me, slimes make for better punching bags. They last longer. Guhahahaha!" comments Barbatos.

***

You choose to:

A. Search for the dryads in the northern part of the forest. You might be able to gain more allies in the process, as well as expand your knowledge of the area. From what you have been told of dryads, they are masters of nature magic, which may be a useful field for you to learn. They are also said to be all female, so that’s a clear point in their favour.

B. Approach the slimes you heard about from Wisteria. You can teleport near the capital and make your way upriver from there. They would make useful allies if even half of the stories told about their versatility is true. The possibility that they can cure your condition aside, they would also be able to produce many useful compounds Zayan would need for her research.

C. Investigate the Grand Temple in Yuiria. It would be risky, but if it pays off, you would find what you are looking for: a real angel that can shed more light on the mysterious conditions for mating to proceed. You have to know. You could also try to contact the Adventurer’s Guild for information or delay their expedition while in Yuiria.

***

Before you leave on your second expedition, you pick up a couple more spells. Your experience with this world’s magic through that brief duel at the palace meant that you have become able to elucidate its underlying principles more quickly. Thumbing through the books, you find that you can spend your time deriving more advanced spells from the elementary ones in the healing tome, or starting to learn the basic spells from the other books.

Pick two spells:

I. Major Healing – Immediately mends critical wounds.

II. All Clear – Heal ailments such as poison, paralysis, blindness or muteness if they are magical in origin.

III. Regeneration – Creates a constant regenerative effect, swiftly healing wounds taken for up to 10 seconds per rank of caster’s mana.

IV. Another Face – Grants you different facial features. Its ability to disguise body shape is limited.

V. Magic Enchant – Turns mundane weapons into magical weapons, allowing them to harm most enemies normally immune to physical attacks.

***

As for who you are going to bring along, you do not plan to travel with a large contingent this time, since you do not plan to take any more time on the trip than is necessary. Two would be just about right. The rest can work on Grahferde's defenses and keep an eye out for any approaching intruders, and so you choose:

I. Rinnefiela
II. Aria
III. Arlin
IV. Lucy
V. Boss
VI. Robust
VII. Runde
VIII. Petze
IX. Zayan

 

[TOME]

treave, hey there are two III-marked choices for spells.

A
III Regeneration
IV Another Face
II Aria
IV Lucy

 

[Kipeci]

Time for the ALF to shine!

C>B, my other votes can be worked out later as I'll be fairly flexible.

 

[treave]

treave, hey there are two III-marked choices for spells.

Fixed.

 

[Nevill]

If we are going back to Yuiria to wreak more havoc, we will probably need Another Face. And Another Hat. And go alone - or with Rin. Anyone else would only complicate matters even more.

If we are going with dryads or slimes, I'd take Regeneration. Erdrick will learn the ways of Muscle Wizard! Eh, eventually.

Personally, I prefer dryads, but all choices are really good.

Edit: Nevermind. Might as well risk it. Maybe if we manage to free the angel there won't be Yuiria city to worry about anymore.

A. C>A.
III Regeneration.
IV Another Face.
I Rin
II Aria

Looks like we started calling Rin by her full name again. Is that a sign of our dissatisfaction with her?

 

[lightbane]

Yay! treave delivers once again!

The first thing you had realized was that their ordeals did not apply to you: though you felt the common cravings of hunger and thirst, a lack of sustenance did not weaken you, at least not noticeably.

I loved that "ascetic experience" thing. Unfortunately it confirmed that yep, Erd's libido has been permanently altered. And for the worse. But at least he stills reacts to women, so all hope is not lost, right?
Also, does that mean that Erdrick won't die of hunger, or that he'll take way longer than usual for that to happen? Not an issue right now, but it would be interesting to know (I assume these would give you increasing penalties to our stats).

The end of your isolation only reinforced what you already knew you had to do, and so you returned to Grahferde with a new-found determination. Swooping into the hall, you take your seat at the head of the table. Leaning forward, you rest your elbows upright on the rough wooden surface and steeple your fingers together thoughtfully. The others wait to hear you speak, curiosity etched on their faces. Though Rin looks more bored than curious to your eyes.

Spoiler

It looks like you have a minimum of one month before you have to deal with the adventurers.

Intelligence: So that means about one event or two tops before hostilities begin.

You do not even want to consider the possibility that all angels were dicks. That is just depressing.

Hmm, it seems angels are not really appreciated here at all. Still, it's not a problem if we can find a solution.

"If you ask me, slimes make for better punching bags. They last longer. Guhahahaha!" comments Barbatos.

Barbatos gives a good suggestion, heh. Anyway, my votes:



1. As long as dryads are not Drakengard-style elves and fairies, we should be fine. On the other hand, fairy creatures are very whimsical by default. The slime thing sounds good only if you don't mind being sucked inside a jelly in order to use their "chemical expertise", but I'm sure we have done worse. C is a death-trap if we go here unprepared, although the gains if we success are good. I'll have to consider this.

For now, I vote for B.

2. For the spells:

II. All Clear – Heal ailments such as poison, paralysis, blindness or muteness if they are magical in origin.
IV. Another Face – Grants you different facial features. Its ability to disguise body shape is limited.

What is considered a "critical wound" for the purposes of Major Healing? And how fast-acting is it? Plus how it compares against Regeneration? Lastly, I believe it was mentioned already, but I wish to double-check: Is Another Face able to conceal all of our angelic features?


3. Finally, for the companions: Lucy and Aria, because why not.

 

[Nevill]

treave, do we need Zayan with us to be able to identify slime components we need? Or we could take samples to her and let her figure everything out once we are done?

 

[TOME]

Adventurers are coming so to me it makes sense to leave Rin behind to protect our gobbos. We took Arlin to the banquet so now it is Aria's turn. And maybe she even learns more magic from dryads.

Edit. Added Lucy to my vote because she grows stronger in our monsterkind aura.

 

[a bear named spigot]

bxx

slime me up, boys

 

[treave]

What is considered a "critical wound" for the purposes of Major Healing? And how fast-acting is it?

It can heal severe torso wounds, but not restore limbs. Maybe if you hold the limb together, but if it's off by even a fraction of a millimeter it won't heal right. The spell works in seconds. Almost instant for all intents and purposes.

Plus how it compares against Regeneration?

Regeneration is not as fast but has the advantage of being a long-lasting effect that will constantly repair any wounds received while in effect, compared to having to constantly cast a Healing spell over and over again.

Lastly, I believe it was mentioned already, but I wish to double-check: Is Another Face able to conceal all of our angelic features?

It'll change your face. It would be hard to change your halo or your wings. At most you might make the wings look like a cape without actually wearing a cape, but it's stretching the effects of the spell thin.

treave, do we need Zayan with us to be able to identify slime components we need? Or we could take samples to her and let her figure everything out once we are done?

You'll be bringing back slimes to live in the village if everything works out.

 

[Nevill]

Adventurers are coming so to me it makes sense to leave Rin behind to protect our gobbos.

The text states there is a minumum of one month until they hit.